


Insomnia's Embrace

by Tigereyes1990



Category: Gaara - Fandom, Manga - Fandom, Naruto, anime - Fandom
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Healing, Human Experimentation, Humor, Insomnia, Love, Manga & Anime, PTSD, Past Abuse, Psychological, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Sleep, Sleep Deprivation, Sunagakure | Hidden Sand Village, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 91
Words: 177,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29540667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigereyes1990/pseuds/Tigereyes1990
Summary: Rin Ito is on the mission of her life. As a member of the Hidden Sound, and one of only two ninja who have perfected the "Somnam" or the "Sleepwalker's Jutsu," she's been tasked with bringing sleep to her most lethal client yet; Lord Gaara of the Sand.When she takes a walk around the darkest recesses of his mind, will what she find there be enough to save him or will she fall prey to the monster which always lurks in his shadow?
Relationships: Gaara/OC
Comments: 26
Kudos: 9





	1. The Dark of the Night

The moon rose as it did every night; pale and cool. 

Its light shone silver off the sea of sand, whose waves swelled and broke with each angry gust of wind. The tips of the dunes transformed beneath the storm's unrelenting journey; their once proud stature brought to ruin by the night's end. 

That same gale found its way into the Village Hidden in the Sand, twisting through the alleys and shaking the dark homes like an unwelcomed stranger. 

One soul remained awake to greet the impatient gust. 

Though he never left his perch, he rose his arms high above his head and sheltered the tiny, rattling houses from the brunt of the storm. The sand twisted beneath his composer-stance, hardening into a wall, bringing sweet calm to the residents huddled inside. 

He waited for a moment, curious to see if another brave tornado would face off against him. 

Despite the storm gaining momentum by the hour, his village would remain safe from its rage. Nothing, human or nature alike, would take his people from him. This was the Kazekage's vow. 

Gaara didn't need to remain with his sand to control it. He left the wall there, bound by his chakra, until the storm passed- there were other matters that needed his attention. 

As he wandered through the lonely passages of the mansion, which housed his father and grandfather before him, a thought occurred to Gaara. He raised a hand to the cool, stone walls, running his fingers along the cracks as he pondered. 

In all his travels to foreign lands, friend and foe alike, there were only two sounds he associated solely with his village; the angry roar of the desert winds and the ghostly quiet of the midnight halls. 

Occasionally, a rattling growl of the guard's snore or the cry of a babe nestled away in the darkness, disrupted the calm, but the blanket of quiet always returned. 

This night, the Kazekage felt as if he could disappear into it. 

If he closed his eyes, he could be like his beloved subjects, snoring in their beds, without a care in the world. 

Sleep... what a strange word for him. Something that seemed so natural to the people surrounding him. 

He must be able to do it, everyone from man to mouse did in some fashion. Maybe if he just laid down like he'd seen the others do? 

If he closed his eyes and slowed his breathing, he would know the sweet release that seemed impossible for him. 

His bed was comfortable, his pillow cool and plush, the air a perfect temperature, according to the physicians he'd consulted. 

He'd made sure to dim the lights and put away all pressing documents at least an hour before. He'd done the things they'd recommended, so now it would happen- it had to. 

With a deep breath, he laid down on the bed, closed his eyes and waited. 

A minute went by, then another. Five. Ten... Thirty... 

He shifted his shoulders. 

Any minute now, he would do it. He would fall asleep soon. 

His knee suddenly itched. 

After he scratched it, THEN he would go to sleep. 

His eyes cracked open... there was a noise. 

It wasn't the ticking of the clock or the dripping of the faucet; he'd made sure to see to both of these before attempting this sleep trial.

"What's that noise?" 

The scan of his room revealed nothing besides the dresser in the corner, the desk at the east wall and he, himself in the bed. 

When he could bear it no longer, Gaara sat up, the sudden force of his frustration sending the blood pumping to his head which eliminated the sound. 

So, when he listened for it, it was gone, but when he tried not to hear it, it was deafening? 

Throwing his legs over his bed, he let out a growl and stalked away from the room in great strides. 

It was pointless, all of it. 

~~~ 

The next day, he sat at the breakfast table and tried not be jealous of his brother's yawn or the way his sister stretched with her approach. Like a petulant child, he picked at his food, moving it around his plate and piling it at opposite ends. 

"Today you have a meeting with the village contractor. He's concerned with the weakening of the southern wall." 

"Mm hm." 

Temari's voice droned on. "After that, you'll have another meeting with two of the cadre from the training grounds about updating the curriculum for peace times." 

"Mm hm." 

There was a small pause. "Then you will be transported through space and time and resurrect as a sheep." 

"Mm hm."

"Gaara!" 

He jolted at her unexpected bark. "What?" 

Temari's brow furled, her sharp eyes studying his face. "Have you listened to a word I've said?" 

"Bits and pieces." 

She sat back in her chair. "Glad to know my painfully constructed schedule is worth half your attention."

.

"Sorry." 

"What's your problem lately? This is the third time this week you've completely spaced out during morning lineup."

Gaara shifted under his sister's gaze. "That's not true."

"Give him a break, Temari. If I had to go through your list each day, I'd be bored out of my mind, too. Stop lecturing for five minutes and eat something, will ya?" 

Kankuro reached for the last piece of bread and stuffed it in his mouth, crumbs sprinkling over the table. 

Temari brushed off her pant leg. "I would, if there were anything left when you're done. Gaara hasn't even touched his breakfast and you're going for seconds." 

"That's on him! If he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to. He's not five. Stop treating him like he's a kid." 

"Quiet, both of you."

The order wasn't loud, in fact it was so soft, they nearly missed it, but the tone was unmistakable. Their younger brother was annoyed, and in the past, annoyed Gaara was dangerous. The pitch of screams and the crunch of bone echoed in their memories like a symphony of death. 

They sat in rigid silence, neither certain how or if they should break it. 

Kankuro felt the breakfast he'd enjoyed settle like a rock in his stomach. He tried to keep himself from falling back into the habit of avoiding Gaara when he was like this. 

After all, Gaara made him promise to stand with him against the image others created. He couldn't back out now. 

A tense few seconds went by, but instead of leaving the table, Kankuro took the chance to try and understand Gaara, something he'd been allowed to do more now that his brother had become Kazekage. 

There was a time where getting this close to him, especially when he was in a bad mood, would have been a death sentence.

Since Shukaku had been removed by the Akatsuki, and the village banded together to save him, Gaara was acting more like a human and less like the demon they believed him to be. It was clear he was taking his role of leader seriously, but something was troubling him.

Kankuro gulped and decided to brave the question. "Lord Kazekage..."

"You know I don't like that when we're in private."

"Gaara. Is something on your mind? Temari is right, in her way, you do seem to be distracted lately. Is the schedule too much?"

"No." 

Gaara set his fork down, the thought of food entirely unappealing. His guilty eyes shifted to his sister, who was still sitting straight as a board. "Temari."

She startled. "Yes?" 

He wished she wouldn't jump like that. 

"I'm sorry. Your schedule is always well written. Not too busy, not too light. You put me in a good view as Kazekage and I was wrong to space out."

A slight red came to her cheeks. "It's fine." 

"Please continue." 

Her shoulders relaxed. "Well, you'll have lunch and then, oh you'll actually enjoy this one, Sakura is visiting with a shipment of herbs from the Leaf."

This piqued his interest. "Will Naruto be joining her?" 

"Unfortunately, no, I believe the Hokage has him busy on a mission of his own. I don't expect a visit from him for some time."

And just like that, the foul mood set in again. If there was anyone who could get him out of his funk, that hyperactive fool would be it.

~~~ 

The day went on according to schedule and Gaara even managed to appear semi-interested in the information he was asked to review. He issued the correct orders, shook hands with everyone and ate a few bites of his lunch, though it hadn't appealed to him.

When the time came to meet Sakura in the greenhouse, he felt as if the day had been twice as long and his steps shuffled, familiar exhaustion settling into his bones. 

The bright pink of her hair was a beacon in the massive greenhouse. She secured a clipboard to her chest, directing the handling of boxes. "Careful with those, they're fragile. No not over there, over there. Look, look where I'm pointing!"

She let out an annoyed grunt. "Everyone, please pay attention! I know the journey was long, but we won't finish in time if you keep lollygagging. We can't let the Kazekage see us in shambles, can we?" 

"I wouldn't say shambles, muddled maybe, but not shambled."

Sakura jumped at the unexpected voice. Gaara had a bad habit of sneaking up on everyone, even, as it appeared, skilled ninja; he'd have to work on announcing himself. 

When her eyes turned to the entrance, however, they did light up when she saw him and that made him feel less like an assassin. "Lord Kazekage! Nice to see you! How have you been feeling?" 

"Good afternoon. What generosity has the Leaf sent with you?"

"We've had a great crop this season. Lady Tsunade hopes you'll find these contributions useful."

He glanced at the mountain of medicinal supplies and nodded. "I'm sure we will. Tell the Hokage we're very grateful. I'll make sure to send her a few pounds of fabric the tailors spun together. The silk worms thrived under this summer's heat."

"Great! Anything else you'd like me to pass on?"

He was about to decline, until a thought came to his mind. It felt like a nagging question and he didn't want to trouble her after her long journey, but he'd promised himself and Naruto alike, to try harder and rely on his friends, though the concept of having them still felt odd.

"Sakura, you're training to be the Leaf's chief healer, correct?"

She smiled, lacing her hands behind her back. "Yep. Lady Tsunade works me like a dog, but it's worth it."

"I was wondering, is there any herb you've come across that would help with sleep?"

She thought for a second, her eyes scanning the boxes they'd delivered. "Sleep, huh? Well, the birtwood can be crushed up and used as a sedative."

His brow drew together. "Much stronger than that. Birtwood, that does very little."

Sakura placed a hand to her chin. "Okay, the janko beans are another choice."

Gaara felt the familiar irritation rising in the back of his mind. "No, those won't work either. Something stronger than that."

"Wortlin! Wortlin should solve any type of sedation the Sand needs."

"That won't work either. Stronger."

"But, Lord Gaara, Wortlin is used for surgery. You can't get stronger than that and anything else would be irresponsible for the Sand village to use."

"It's not for the Sand, it's for me!"

The confession sent a shock through both of them. Sakura rocked back on her heels, her lips setting into a thin line. "Oh... oh I see."

Gaara swallowed, feeling shame on the back of his neck at his outburst. "I'm sorry, that was unbecoming of me. I've tried every herb from every village we trade with. Nothing works."

Her eyes turned downwards.

Any kind of potion she'd mix wouldn't stand a chance against the natural tolerance his body created. Naruto told her about Gaara's situation in the past, but she didn't think it would be an issue now that the One-Tail left him.

"Well, I don't know of an herb stronger than Wortlin."

"I see. Thank you for trying, anyway. I'll see that fabric gets to your people. Please feel free to join me for dinner tonight and rest in the private quarters."

Gaara was about to turn away, kicking himself for even bringing up the question in the first place, until her voice stopped him. "I do know of a jutsu, though!" 

His mind raced, trying and failing to come up with what she could mean. "What kind of jutsu?"

"Not one that myself or anyone in the Leaf could do, but there is one person I've heard of who's mastered it- a kunoichi from the Village Hidden in the Sound." 

That wasn't a good sign.

Even though there'd been a peace reached between the Five Nations, everyone was still suspicious of the Sound. The Sand especially avoided associating with them, after the unfortunate incident with Orochimaru years ago.

"I don't think so."

Sakura placed her hands on her hips. "Do you want help or don't you? If the Kazekage can't set a good example and reach out to that village, what hope do the rest of his people have? This might be the perfect way to show progress on the treaty you've fought so hard for everyone to follow."

He knew she was right. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew.

"Tell me about this woman."


	2. The Sand's Hospitality

The journey to the Sand was strenuous, to say the least. The ache in her back and the cracks in her lips, proved that her body wasn't meant for this kind of travel and certainly not this level of monstrous heat. 

Rin leaned back against a well-placed boulder and massaged her sore feet, finding more than one blister at the bottom. "I'm going to be a mess before I even get there."

She blew out a long sigh and glanced up, shielding her gaze from the harsh sunlight. There was nothing but an endless ocean of sky, without the mercy of a cloud in sight. How could such a glorious shade of blue be that blinding? 

By the way the ground greedily sucked up the drop of sweat that fell from her brow, she knew that rain hadn't blessed this place in years. With water came life and Rin had the sneaking suspicion the desert didn't value hers at all. 

With the walls of the Sand Village coming into view, she tried for the umpteenth time to brush down her wild hair, only to have it blown up again by the desert wind. It kicked wave after wave of sand into her face, most of it landing in her mouth, right as a lizard went shooting past her feet. 

She shuddered, suppressing the scream climbing up her throat. 

What a terrible place to live. 

It was so unpleasant, it almost made her long for the sight of white walls, the beeping of machines, the scent of the facility where she'd spent her early years. Almost. 

The switch to making the scattered laboratories of Sound an actual village wasn't going to happen overnight.

She knew being summoned by anyone from the outside, especially someone as important as the Kazekage, was imperative for their success. That knowledge left her on pins and needles the entire way and even made her turn back once...twice...four times.

Finally, FINALLY, her tired feet found their way to the impressive gate and she waited for the guards to acknowledge her.

They didn't even look in her direction.

The sack slung over her shoulder gained weight the longer they took and her patience waned beneath the unforgiving sun.

"Hello?"

No reaction.

Rin planted her swollen feet and tried a little louder. "Hello!"

Blissfully, one of the guards stopped his pacing and glanced down to her. "Hey, you down there! What business do you have with the Sand?"

Her mouth felt dry. "I am Rin Ito from the Village Hidden in the Sound. The Kazekage sent for me."

There was a shuffling up top, suspicious voices carrying on the wind. One guard raised his spear and pointed it down at her. "What would Lord Kazekage want with someone from the Sound?"

"Well..." She hesitated. It was in her express orders not to reveal the purpose of her mission.

Trading or negotiating were one thing, but insinuating that the leader of their village needed help from someone as lowly as her, was another matter altogether. 

"Speak up!"

Her mouth opened, but closed again. She'd practiced what they told her to say, but it wasn't coming out right.

"You better start talking, girl. We ain't got time for games."

"I... I um.."

"Enough! This is a guest of our Lord Gaara. Stop pestering her." The voice belonged to a woman with a large fan strapped to her back.

The way the men parted around her made Rin jealous. This was the kind of woman who commanded respect from birth and it showed. Her strides were proud, her head high, with an expression that showed no tolerance for insubordination.

When the wide gates opened, the sudden wave of relief she felt at the woman's rescue disappeared into familiar anxiety, who had been her companion on this long trip.

She'd heard stories about the Sand and certainly done her research on them. She'd even participated in the Great War that united the Five Nations, though her role was more support than front-line battle.

Her talents lied in healing, not bloodshed.

The woman took the stairs in threes and landed before Rin, her sharp eyes assessing the younger shinobi. "I am Captain Temari, head of security for the Sand and Lord Gaara's private counsel. I'll be escorting you to the courtroom where you will meet with the Kazekage. Do you understand?"

"Yes....ma'am?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

Rin straightened up, her bag sliding off her shoulder. "Yes ma'am!"

"That's more like it. Let's proceed."

She followed closely, but not too close, afraid Temari would stop and she would slam into her. She moved so fast, it was nearly impossible to keep up, especially with the blisters stinging every step she took.

Around her, villagers stopped what they were doing to stare.

She'd considered leaving her headband at home, but was encouraged by her leader to wear it proudly. If she were to be an ambassador for their people, she was going to have to look like she had nothing to hide.

Rin set her shoulders and tried to match the proud stance her guide executed, even adding a bit of the same scowl, though it felt foreign on her face.

By the time they reached the courtroom, Rin felt as if she may faint. Temari's relentless strides took what little energy she'd spared from the journey and she felt her legs wobble, as she climbed the final two steps.

The captain turned and took to freshening Rin up; combing her hair with her fingers, straightening her head band, all while speaking a mile a minute. "When you enter the court, ensure that you don't speak unless spoken to. Stand up straight, bow when you must, speak quickly and be direct. The Kazekage is a busy man and he doesn't have time to waste on your pleasantries. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. I'll go in first."

Rin suddenly felt as if she'd landed in a nightmare; everything was happening too fast.

She figured she'd be shown to her quarters and perhaps not even see the Kazekage for a few weeks, given how busy his schedule was. She'd have time to prepare herself properly, not be thrust head first into the deep end of politics.

What if he were angry at her disheveled appearance? What if she showed her village in a poor light? What if he were so unimpressed with her, he'd crush her in that sand of his, just for the entertainment of his court??

Her mind raced with the stream of terrible thoughts that seemed to swallow her.

She'd seen Gaara at the Great War rally, but it was only the few moments he addressed the armies as a whole. She'd never come face to face with him and certainly never had a conversation before.

Rin knew about his past, as everyone in the world did, but reports claimed he'd been a new man since the jinjuruki was stripped.

By the graveness of his own sister's words, however, she wondered if the reports were correct.

The feeling of stone beneath her feet was heavenly compared to the hot sand and the cool did a small bit at calming her panicking imagination. She doubted she would see a gross lizard inside the hall either. Maybe that's how the people of the Sand survived? Never. Go. Outside.

She could get behind that, no problem.

When the hall opened up, five men and two women waited to greet her, all seated around the young leader in the middle, who barely noticed when she approached.

"Lord Gaara. Your guest from the Sound has arrived."

The sound of his pen scratched, as he stopped writing and glanced up to take her in.

Rin felt underdressed. She'd worn traveling clothes, but maybe she should have insisted on changing, no matter how Temari would have scolded her?

Her fingers came up to twist the ends of her ponytail, a nervous habit she developed years ago.

To Gaara's right, a man with a painted face stood and smiled at her. "Welcome, Ms. Ito, to the Village Hidden in the Sand. I hope your journey wasn't too taxing?" 

"Thank you, and no, it was fine."

_Yeah right, every step brought me closer to death._

"Good. I trust you've come with the appropriate supplies necessary for your business with us?"

The bag on her back felt even heavier now that everyone was staring at her. "Yes. I'm prepared."

"Very well. Your silence on the matter has been greatly appreciated. We'll show you to your quarters, if you'll just..."

"Excuse me, Captain Kankuro, but we have some questions for the girl."

This came from an older member of the council, who stared her down with thinly veiled suspicion. "Young lady, I'm sure you're aware of the reputation your village carries?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm sure you're also aware that your presence in our hall today is somewhat unprecedented, since the unfortunate incident with the Leaf, some years back." 

Rin shuffled a bit under her gaze. The tone of her words didn't feel friendly. "Yes."

The older woman leaned forward on her elbows. "Does it not seem strange, that our Lord Kazekage, received such quick response from the Sound and they saw fit to send one solitary shinobi? It's customary to travel with an entourage when visiting the head of another village, so why the secrecy with just you?"

There was a look passed between the council, before resting back on the strange girl.

The captain, Kankuro, raised his voice. "That was per our instructions. The last thing we wanted was a spectacle, councilwoman."

"It seems suspicious." A male voice piped up from the right side.

"It wouldn't be the first time the Sound has sent an assassin under the guise of healer. Easier to sneak about unnoticed if you don't have a group of foreigners to bring attention."

_Assassin? Is that what they think, I am?_

There was a murmur growing louder amongst the council-members, fear and suspicion rising with each passing second.

"Where did you intend to be staying tonight? Surely not on the grounds?"

Rin's mouth formed a hard line. "I won't be sleeping tonight. I have my mission to complete. I will be with Lord Gaara, if he is prepared to receive me."

"In his chambers?"

"Yes."

"Alone?"

Her eyes flickered across the faces staring her down, the copper taste of pride in the back of her throat. "Yes."

"Captain Kankuro! Captain Temari! Neither of you said this would be a solitary encounter!"

"Would you have agreed, if we had?"

"Well of course not! You're leaving the Kazekage defenseless, while an assassin from the Sound waltzes in and has her way."

Rin's mouth curled into a snarl; her heartbeat wild in her head.

_How dare these old geezers accuse me! They don't even know me!_

She didn't need to be treated like a criminal for something she hadn't even been part of. She'd rather take her chances back in the desert than listen to another word of their bigotry.

"I have more important things to do with my time. Screw this." Rin scoffed, hitching up her bag on her shoulder.

Her feet turned to leave, ready to report all of it back to her village head, until her gaze settled on the man in the middle of the noise.

Lord Gaara hadn't moved from his spot, pale eyes studying her.

She noticed the black circles, so deep and dark, they looked like coal. Rin wondered how many sleepless nights it took to win a pair like those?

The longer she stared, the worse she felt under his gaze. He seemed more than just tired, worse off than the average insomniac who visited her family's shop. 

He seemed...worn. The kind of exhaustion that was felt in every breath, every step that led him closer to the abyss and she stood on the edge.

A pang of guilt struck her heart.

Though not a word was spoken between them, the intention in his expression was clear.

_"Please. Please help me."_

Rin gave him a small, understanding nod.

Her attention turned to the chaos echoing through the room, thunderous in the outrage she had a hand in causing, not that she regretted it. She took a step forward and cleared her throat. "Excuse me, fair council." 

They ignored her.

_Oh, I think not._

Digging her heels into the stone floor, Rin's hands cupped to her mouth. "EXCUSE ME!"

The arguing silenced, each member surprised by her outburst and angry at her disrespect.

She lowered her hands; her words slow and careful. "I understand the fears you have. The acts of the past will not be easily wiped away by a piece of paper and wishful thinking. I'm aware of the sins my people have committed, much like I am aware of the atrocities the Sand committed with them."

"What insolence!"

"But need I also remind you, that I was summoned here by the Lord Kazekage himself? I am no common street peddler and my bag is full of herbs, not tricks." 

With this, she set down her heavy satchel and opened it for them to see. "Inspect it, if you wish. Search my clothes and my headband and you will find no weapon or poison. Just the desire to complete the mission, for which I will now be greatly compensated."

"Greatly?"

"Why yes. Once for the agreed upon price and twice more, so this insult of my intentions won't reach the head of the Sound. You wouldn't want the reputation of the Sand further diminished, I trust? You're already known as less than hospitable by the other nations, how terrible if the SOUND of all places condemns you."

One of the men narrowed his gaze. "What of this jutsu you claim to be able to perform? What if you attack through it before we have time to assist?"

Rin's mouth stitched into a smirk on the right side. "Then the tales of the Fifth Kazekage's strengths, must be widely exaggerated, indeed."

This comment unleashed a cacophony of outrage, as she knew it would. Good, let them be outraged, it was only fair.

Amongst the shouts and the gesturing, the jeers and roars and complaints, there came a sound no one was prepared for. It started off quiet at first and then grew louder and louder, until it echoed through the hall like the flutter of a bird's wings.

All eyes turned to the man, sitting at the head of the table, who held his stomach with both hands.

"Lord Gaara? Are you... laughing?"

And indeed, he was.

"Yes! It's funny! You're all so worried about something so small."

A smile was certainly not something she'd expected from her goading and by the reaction of the members around him, she could tell her surprise wasn't unfounded.

Gaara stood from his chair and crossed an arm over his chest, bowing his head to her. "My apologies for the inquisition. I, more than anyone, understand how it feels to be judged so harshly for the sins of a past, which has nothing to do with you. Welcome to the Village Hidden in the Sand, Ms. Ito."

"Lord Kazekage, your council advises against this foolish idea."

Gaara assessed them with no more than a brief glance. "And I'm uncertain of why my personal affairs have anything to do with your dictation, councilwoman. If you think one young shinobi is enough to bring your Kazekage to his knees, then we have much bigger problems in this room."

She was taken aback. "But... but my Lord, your safety is our chief responsibility."

"And that responsibility rests on myself, not you all." Temari's voice was sharp, when she stalked in to stand beside Rin.

Her hand found its home on the young girl's shoulder. "I have assessed Ms. Ito and found her safe to perform her duties tonight. I'll give her the conditions she states, but I will insist on two guards posted outside the door at all times and an escort to and from her quarters. Does that satisfy the council?"

There were concerned murmurs, but no real objections.

"Does this please you, Lord Kazekage?"

"It does."

Temari turned Rin to look at her, and spoke in a voice that was softer than she heard since her arrival. "And does this satisfy your needs, Ms. Ito?"

Rin nodded. "Yes, thank you. I'll start tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! I hope you enjoyed that chapter and the introduction of Ms. Ito. She is based off a dear friend of mine, who would never allow anyone to speak down to her and who's courage never ceases to inspire me. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I look forward to hearing from you.


	3. He's More Than What Others Believe

The sun barely began to set. If she were smart, she would have taken these precious hours to sleep and recover, but there was no way she'd be resting that day. 

The shock of seeing Gaara in the flesh, her scene in the courtroom...

_"Then tales of the Kazekage's strength, must be wildly exaggerated, indeed."_

Rin hid her face in her hands.

"I can't believe I said that in an official meeting! But they just made me so mad. Who the hell do they think they are?"

She checked over her materials for the fifth time. Not a single one could be out of place. This was all too important, to afford a stupid slip up.

His tired, listless eyes flashed in her mind. It was too important to HIM, for her not to slip up.

She grabbed one of her incense sticks and gave a small sniff.

More than anything in this world of politics and danger, the people she served were her priority. Just because he was the Kazekage, didn't make him any more important than the wife of the miller she'd helped last week or their son the month before.

His mind deserved to be calm, just like everyone else.

_Knock, knock._

"Ms. Ito? Are you prepared to leave?"

She took a final look at herself, adjusting the tie on her kimono. "Yes, if you'll give me a hand?"

The door opened and the captain, she'd come to know as Kankuro, stepped in. His reaction was exactly what she'd hoped for. "Oh, I didn't expect to see you so dressed up for this."

Rin stood in the kimono passed down to her from her mother; a gift from the leader of her village.

Its black silk with purple trimmings, cascaded to the floor, just past her ankles, which were elevated by her slightly too large shoes. Her wild hair managed to be tamed into an easy bun. The hairpiece, she was certain snapped on the journey, intact and dangled down past her face with pink cherry blossoms. "Relaxation has as much to do with eyes as it does with the mind, Captain. It's customary to present oneself this way for appointments of this magnitude."

She glided towards the door, but tripped on the edge of her robe, sending her stumbling forward.

He quickly caught her, righting her steps. "Whoa there! You, good?"

The perfectly made-up face she'd worked on, did nothing to hide the red forming on her cheeks. "Ahem, though I suppose it doesn't mean I'm used to walking in it. Most of my clients are farmers, not Kages."

Kankuro laughed, taking her bag and securing his arm around hers. "You'll find we aren't all that different. Kage is just a title, nothing more. I don't know anything about formal wear either. If you'll permit me, I'll escort you to his private quarters."

The thought of Temari's fierce strides filled her mind.

"Slow steps, please."

He patted her hand a few times and let her set the pace.

They made light conversation on the way and Rin found the Sand Village to be rather beautiful, under the night sky. The lack of prying eyes helped, though she wished they'd seen her in her present state versus the mess she was earlier. She shuttered to think of the sweaty, haggard form she'd shown as a representative of the Sound.

Her leader would probably yell at her when she came home.

However, with the knowledge she would have fallen on her face without Kankuro's assistance, she was glad she chose function over fashion. Tripping in front of the council would have been an embarrassment no amount of success could save her from.

She nodded absently, as the captain filled her in on the shops they passed. "That one is old man Jiro's store. He sells pottery and such. Anything you can think of, he can make."

"Interesting."

"And over there is Lady Airi's bakery. I've gotten a smack or two for hanging around there."

Rin smiled. "Smacked? Why is that?"

"Oh, Airi's daughter is a fiery one. All that bread kneading has given her wicked upper body strength."

Without realizing it, Rin found herself legitimately enjoying the walk. The Sand Village had a charm she hadn't seen at first glance. It seemed like a big family and she wondered how Gaara fit into that mix?

"Has Gaara found the end of her rolling pin before?"

To her surprise, Kankuro's face fell. "Well, no."

"No? Not one for mischief in his youth?"

He looked down one of the alleyways and sighed. "Let's just say, Gaara's past with the villagers isn't as happy as mine."

"I see."

They continued on in silence, the shift in the atmosphere clear. She'd have to remember this piece of information for later. Something unresolved hung in the air here. 

When the royal family's home came into view, Kankuro's easy demeanor returned and he continued to chat about light things, as they made their way up the stone staircase. "We're almost there, just a few more."

Gaara's room was located at the top of the giant stairs and then four hallways in. It made sense he'd be hidden away from the rest of the inhabitants, but this seemed a bit excessive.

Rin passed pair-after-pair of armed guards and felt the eyes of each follow her; certain she looked more like an escort, than a professional. Whatever they were imagining the Kazekage hired her for, couldn't have been proper.

When they reached the ornate door at the end of the final hallway, Rin suddenly felt the anxiety she'd bitten back, bubble in her chest. 

Kankuro's company was a lovely distraction, but now her mission would begin for real and there was no room for error.

He passed off her bag, gently removing her arm from his own and assessing her one last time.

He noticed the way her eyes shifted from the door to the ground, and how her fingers frayed the edges of her ponytail, just like when she arrived earlier that day. "I know it's intimidating, but I promise, Gaara is much more than what others say about him."

She glanced up, studying his eyes, as he worried the bottom of his lip. "You've had to say that before, I feel."

"Well..."

She slid a hand on his forearm and smiled. "What a good brother, you are. He's lucky to have an older soul to look up to."

"I guess... wait, I never said I was his older brother."

Rin took hold of her bag and gave him a look. "It's incredibly obvious, trust me."

Kankuro thought about her words, before raising a hand to knock.

"Enter."

The guards pushed open the heavy doors and Rin took a final breath to steel herself, before entering the private quarters of Gaara, Kazekage of the Village Hidden in the Sand.


	4. Down the Rabbit Hole

"I don't think this will work." His thoughts were defeated long before the sun set. Gaara had been perched in his windowsill, staring out at the village, for hours. The feeling of hopelessness rising and breaking with each passing moment.

He didn't want to doubt Sakura, he really didn't, but what jutsu could there be, that he hadn't tried before? It wasn't like this lifestyle was new to him. What could that girl have to offer?

It was probably all a waste of time. He'd wasted everyone's time.

The image of her determined expression flashed through his mind.

Despite himself, he felt a small smile at the memory. She'd certainly caused quite a stir, if nothing else. Maybe he could write this whole thing off as a peace-keeping exercise?

_Well done, Lord Kazekage. Five stars._

He scoffed and rested his head against the stone frame, watching as the lamps in the village came on, one by one. 

He used to count them when he was a child; tiny spots of flame in the night. He'd watch them all come on and then one by one snuff out, leaving only him alone in the darkness.

Where he'd always been.

At the sound of the knock, he nearly tumbled out of the windowsill, but managed to catch himself last minute.

He stood and composed himself for that funny, ragged girl to enter. What he saw instead, was a creature out of a dream, or at least, what he imagined dreams looked like.

She moved with such grace, she seemed like she was floating, each step careful and planned. Her heavy bag rested against the wall, though it didn't even make a sound when she set it down and turned to face him.

In a single, fluid motion, she slipped one leg behind the other and offered a low bow. "Lord Kazekage."

Gaara watched, mouth open, so transfixed at the transformation, that he almost missed his title.

He cleared his throat to find his voice, though it took longer than he was comfortable admitting. "Gaara, please. I hate being called anything so formal in my home, Ms. Ito."

Her painted lips curled up, as she straightened from her perch and assessed him. "As you wish. Then to be fair, I'd like you to call me 'Rin.' I hate formality as well."

"All right, Rin. So, how do we proceed?"

She gestured to the bed in one, graceful sweep. "You get comfortable, while I set up."

He nodded and headed towards the unfamiliar space, taking special care to keep her in his sights the whole time. Gaara wasn't afraid of her like his council, anything she could possibly attack with, would pale in comparison to his sand. But, there was something about her that unnerved him. Something in the way she moved, the otherworldly grace that seemed practiced and yet unnatural in her steps.

It was putting him on edge, rather than at the ease she intended.

Rin bent low to grab her supplies, thinking to herself. "So far, so good. Just keep it together until you can sit and we'll be in the clear."

After walking only four or five steps, the silky cloth caught at her foot and before she could stop it, the room tumbled upside down.

Rin felt as if her entire world would shatter right then and there and she begged that it would. She'd done the one thing she knew there would be no recovery from. She'd messed up. She'd messed up in front of the Kazekage.

_The only thing left to do is go die in the desert. I wonder if any of the lizards were venomous?_

"Um, Ms. I... Rin?"

She remained laying on the floor. "Yes, Lord Gaara?"

"Would you like a hand up?"

"Please."

Suddenly, there was a warmth surrounding her; not hands, but something else. Rin felt her disgraced body lift back to her feet, as if she were weightless.

Gaara remained sitting on the bed, his hand outstretched. The sand from the large gourd resting on the wall, covered her and retreated back into its home.

She brushed away the stray hairs from her bun and bowed her apology. "I'm so sorry. I don't usually meet my appointments in this fancy of attire. My movements were sloppy. I hope you can forgive my disgraceful performance."

Much to her surprise, the Kazekage smiled. "It's more than all right. Honestly, the show was lovely, but I prefer this. I was curious to see the girl who silenced my council today. I think I can relax now, that I don't feel like I'LL mess something up."

Rin exhaled, the relief cascading down her back. "If that's the case, then permit me one moment to make a few changes."

She removed the hair piece and let her hair fall down in ripples. The shoes she'd been permitted to wear inside, came off and found a home near the door and the tie on the back of her kimono loosened so she could breathe again, in fact, she decided to take the entire thing off.

Beneath it, the familiar clothes she wore for her appointments, waited. She'd intended to change later in the night, after he'd fallen asleep, but now was as good of time as any.

After tucking away her mother's kimono and rejoining her client, Rin felt much more herself, which made him feel better too. "Shall we proceed for real?"

"Yes, tell me how this jutsu works."

Rin nodded, loving the freedom she had to move now.

She hoisted her bag up to the table and began unpacking various supplies. "As far as I know, it's a jutsu only myself and my mother have perfected. It's taken years to get just right."

She took out her prized incense holder, a wooden container with a dragon on the end.

Turning to the Kazekage, she offered him three different sticks. "Pick the scent you favor the most."

He smelt each one carefully and completely, his dedication to detail another interesting trait she noted. For the remainder of their time together, Rin would note everything; each movement, each shift of the eye or change of breath, all of these wove together to tell the story her client was begging her to know. Whether he was aware of it or not. 

"I like the third one the best."

She nodded. "All right, jasmine it is. Very good choice."

She didn't say a word about how he straightened up a little at her praise, though the right side of her mouth curved at the sight. 

After lighting the stick and placing it in the dragon's mouth, she picked up a bottle of dark blue glass, with a cork securely fastened and held it up for him to inspect. "Oils for later."

"I know my staff searched and signed off all your materials. You don't have to tell me the functions, if you do not wish it."

"On the contrary, it's important you're involved in the process. If anything is going to be made clear by the end of this experience, it's that you are firmly in control of how things go, the entire time."

He nodded, processing her words, as she unpacked the final item from her bag; an arm's length of red ribbon. "I call this jutsu, Somnam, the Sleepwalker Jutsu." 

"How does it work?"

"One of two ways. The shorthand, I cast the jutsu and it brings at least eight hours of undisturbed sleep."

"That sounds good."

She gave him a quick once-over. "Unfortunately, I don't think that'll do the trick. Your insomnia is on a different level than the average person. Besides, it would only give you the one night and we don't want this to be a temporary fix. The second way, is what you and I will focus on."

"What's the second way?"

Rin grabbed the dark bottle and the red ribbon and walked to stand by his bed. "We're going to figure out the cause of your sleeplessness. What's firing in your mind to keep it from relaxing? I understand in the past you were able to feign sleep when the One-Tail battled for you, yes?"

He felt defensive at her knowledge of that jutsu, but remembered the events of the Chunin exams. It wasn't surprising there'd be record of his actions, shameful as they were. "Yes." 

"Were you in a full sleep while that was happening?"

"No. I was always aware."

"Perfect, so this won't be as foreign to you. With this jutsu, I'll place the oil on your eyelids, wrap the ribbon around our hands, and with your permission, take a peek into your subconscious to see what the blockage is."

Gaara searched her face, his eyes cutting. "You're going to walk around in my brain?" 

"In a manner of speaking."

"I don't know how I feel about that."

Rin shrugged, twisting the ribbon around her index finger. "It's the only way to proceed. I want you to know, you will be aware the entire time. There's nothing I'll see that you haven't consented me to see. It won't harm you and it won't control you by any means. It's something like hypnotism. You'll simply be in a more relaxed state for us to find a solution. In this way, you'll continue the technique when I'm gone and bring yourself sleep."

This was a lot for him to take in.

The darkness that laid within his mind was something no one, other than Naruto perhaps, should see. Who was he to expose this girl to the monster he'd been? Only those cursed by the jinjuriki could understand the feeling of another's soul intertwined with his, a soul with teeth and rage. He'd keep it that way, if he could help it. He'd already hurt too many people, but something about the warmth in her eyes, the ease of her movements around him, made him want to keep her away especially. 

But if there was no other way for the peace he sought and she wasn't lying about him being the one to show her what he wanted..."All right."

Rin smiled. First level of progress achieved. "Okay. Scooch over."

"Shouldn't I be laying down?"

She shook her head. "Not yet, we do this sitting first."

The bed was perfect, not too soft, not too hard. She could see he put a lot of effort in his past attempts to sleep.

Brushing her fingers forward, she took hold of his hand and it wasn't at all what she expected. From the sand surrounding him, she'd assumed his grip would be rough and ragged. Instead, the skin felt smooth and cool beneath her touch. _Well, aren't you full of surprises, Lord Kazekage?_

Raising the hand up, she intertwined their fingers and wrapped the red ribbon around their wrists, trying not to smile at how panicked his eyes were, when they flashed between the grasp, to her face and back. 

"This ribbon acts as a conduit for our combined chakra. It's a tool that helps me stay anchored and grounded throughout the process." 

"I see." His voice had the smallest waver, barely noticeable to the untrained ear, but so telling for someone like her. She slowed her movements, taking time and patience, afraid he would spook if she darted about. 

With her free hand, she balanced the bottle in the crook of her folded leg, the nail of her thumb brushing the wooden cork, before popping it open. The sound was startling in the quiet of his bedroom. Gaara's focus on every single shift of her body was enough to make her heart quicken, despite her trained calm. He reminded her of a jungle cat, some powerful creature who's silence brought danger in its wake and the intensity of his studious gaze made her feel like the gazelle in his wake. 

Dabbing her fingers in the oil, she raised it up for him to inspect. "Close your eyes."

He hesitated, searching her face for any trace of malevolence. 

Her soft smile in the candlelight made him want to paint her; the curve of her jaw, the fair skin, a stranger to the harsh sun, but mostly the look of trust that was foreign to him. She had such expressive eyes, honest and open, wide in the darkness around them. He'd never seen such eyes before. 

It was difficult, almost painstakingly so, but with a deep swallow, he closed his eyes and waited. Whatever Rin was planning, he would meet it. 

Careful not to press too hard, she followed the ring of black encircling his tired gaze, marveling at how deep it was up close. Rin knew exhaustion, but this was something altogether different. This was a supernatural influence and the effect was staggering. 

He tensed at first, unfamiliar with another person's touch on his face, but relaxed after she lightly massaged around one eye and then the other. Her touch was warm, as he expected it to be, though it was softer than he believed, almost alarmingly soft. The brush of her fingers reminded him of silk, of the sensation of mist against water, he leaned into her touch. 

After a few more circles, he almost felt as if this would be enough to put him to sleep. He'd never stay that way, of course, but it would be a nice way to try.

Her hands told him she was an expert in her field and that gave him confidence in what they were doing. They didn't falter or shake and it dawned on him that this was the first time anyone, in his adult life, had touched his face.

He wasn't sure how to feel about that knowledge.

She corked the bottle and placed it on the nightstand, careful not to disrupt him in the process. 

After a moment, her voice directed him. "We're going to take a few deep breaths together. See if you can match the way I do it, ready and go."

She inhaled through her nose for a full five seconds and exhaled five seconds out through her mouth.

It was surprisingly difficult the first few times for Gaara to breathe as deeply as she did- he only seemed to manage three seconds, at best.

His brow furled in frustration, the strain of his expectations melting his expression into a scowl.

Rin studied the face. By the lines that were engraving themselves in his forehead, she could tell this was a common look for him.

Her hand came to his chest. "Your body is so tight. This breathing we're doing is going to help unwind that rigidity inside of you. It's fine if you can't do it on the first try. We have all the time in the world. Now, try it with me."

He followed, breathing in and out as she instructed, but still couldn't get it right. Rin wanted to laugh, but held it in.

Instead, she took his free hand and placed it on her chest, right over her heart.

Gaara froze at the feeling, a slight blush rising to his face. "Ms. Ito?"

"Rin."

"Rin... what are you doing?"

She inhaled deeply. "Follow my lead. Match your energy with mine."

His eyes remained closed and that may have been for the best. The sight of his hand that close to her.... well, he was glad his eyes were closed.

After a try or two, when he focused on the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, he managed to get it right, breathing in sync with her.

Rin grinned. "Good. Now you keep that up, I'm going to start the jutsu. Are you ready?"

He nodded, thoroughly focused on the pattern of breathing he'd just achieved.

She placed her free hand on his forehead and focused her chakra. "Somnam Justu."

The rush of power flowed through her fingers, filling up her veins and pouring into the host before her. She knew he could feel it too, by a slight hitch in the pattern of his breathing.

After a moment or so of sharing chakra, she slid her hand down his face, to rest on his stomach, pushing gently, but firmly enough to move him backwards, until his back was resting against the headboard.

Their journey began.


	5. First Exposure

It was dark, as it usually was in the beginning. 

Rin pushed through the first few layers of inky black subconscious. It used to scare her when she first started training. No matter how willing the subject was, their mind always rejected a foreign presence. 

The walls made her feel like an invader, but she'd learned to move through them with intention and at a steady pace.

Gaara's seemed much stronger than most she'd encountered and she wondered if it were because he'd had so much time alone with his own thoughts? Most people have the luxury of the company of others or the blissful respite of sleep, he had neither of these things. 

When she finally made her way through the final barrier, it was enough to break a sweat in her waking body.

If she weren't careful, she'd overexert herself before making any real progress. 

_Am I even close yet?_

There should be some sign; a guide of sorts. Every mind was different. She'd seen various animals, like a dog or a snake, even a horse once. Sometimes it was a teacher they admired or a favorite legendary hero. Whatever the mind felt around her, presented itself as such. What would be Gaara's? 

"Hi there." A small voice broke through the darkness and she turned to see the form of a little boy, with red hair and pale eyes.

Rin smiled. "Hello, Gaara."

He gripped a teddy bear and looked up at her. "Whatcha doing?"

"Well, I'm here to see you. There was something you wanted to show me. Do you remember what it was?"

He thought about it, his small brow furling. Rin wanted to laugh, he'd had that same expression from childhood.

"I'm not sure. I feel like I should."

"Do you remember my name?"

"Yep! You're Rin Ito from the Sound."

"That's right."

He showed her his teddy bear. "This is my bear. His name is Ruffy!"

Rin shook the tiny bear's paw. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ruffy. Are you what Gaara wanted to show me?"

The child made the bear's head shake.

She stood up from her crouch and took a look around, darkness on all sides. They weren't going to get anywhere on this level of consciousness. 

She turned to the boy and held out a hand. "Why don't we walk for a while and you can think about it?"

Gaara's smile made her heart hurt with its eagerness, as he nearly leapt to take her hand, she had a feeling there hadn't been many offered in his past. 

The darkness piled down on them, thick and suffocating with its presence.

Rin hummed to herself, before lifting up her arm, the one that wasn't holding the boy, to make a torch light above them. 

Gaara's jaw dropped, examining their lit surroundings. "How did you do that?"

Rin winked at him. "There's a lot we can do in our imaginations. Does the light feel better or worse than the darkness?"

He held tight to her side, his eyes trailing through the deep caverns.

When he didn't answer her, Rin stopped walking. "Is there something you're afraid of in this place?"

Gaara hid his face in her leg. "No."

_That felt like a yes._

"We'll come back here later. Why don't you show me where you like to play, Gaara?"

He thought about it for a moment and as if the question lit a fuse, the images around them began to shift in a dizzying kaleidoscope.

The ground beneath her feet went from a soft, squishy texture to dirt and dust. The air smelt hot.

Rin took a few uneasy steps and tried not to feel sick. 

No matter how many times she mind-melded, it never seemed to get easier on the body.

Gaara wasn't affected by it, but it was his mind, after all. 

She studied the scene around her and realized it was the Sand Village, but years ago. The shops Kankuro pointed out to her were smaller, and old man Jiro's store wasn't there at all. 

Before her appeared six children, each playing in the dirt with sticks and a makeshift ball.

The warmth of Gaara's hand left and he ran towards them. "My friends!"

Rin crouched down to observe, ready to take note of what kind of game he enjoyed. Did he like strategy or board games? She couldn't imagine he was one for rough and tumble activities.

She waited for the group to acknowledge their leader's son, only to find their play stopped, the ball they'd been tossing suddenly discarded.

"It's Gaara."

"He's so creepy! Let's get out of here!"

They ran. 

_How awful. Kids are such jerks. So, that's the kind of childhood I'm dealing with._

Rin rose up from her crouch, ready for the memory to be done, until it took a turn she didn't see coming. 

Gaara's sand shot out from his hands. "No. Please don't run away. Stay with me!" 

That same sand, which was gentle on her skin earlier that night, wrapped around the legs of the children, pulling them towards him. Their screams and cries were enough to make her want to intervene, but such a thing was impossible, this wasn't her memory. 

To her surprise, a different person did what she couldn't. A ninja, who looked too beautiful to be a man, stood between Gaara and the children. "No, Gaara! Please, you must stop this."

_Now, who are you? Why are you important to this host?_

Her child-guide stopped his tirade and looked to the ground, ashamed. "Yashamaru."

The memory faded into black and it was only the two of them left. 

Gaara curled in on himself, holding his face and fighting back tears. His small voice whined. "Yashamaru... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Rin took a few steps closer, reaching out her hand to touch the top of his head. "That's awful to relive. I'm sorry you went through that."

He rose up from his knees and hugged her hard, sobbing into her legs. "They were afraid of me. Everyone was afraid of me."

Rin held the child close, surprised at the strength in his grasp, even on this plane of consciousness. "Tell me about Yashamaru. Was he afraid of you?"

"Yashamaru?"

The darkness around them began to quiver and a sound like a heartbeat, vibrated the walls of his mind.

Rin tried not to gasp when images of the beautiful man, she'd seen moments ago, flashed through the walls like a photo-book, but this time the face was bloodied and his eyes were empty. 

Gaara hid further into her legs. "I don't want to talk about him anymore. I want to go now."

"All right, this was a big memory. I think we'll take a break for tonight. When I count down from five, you're going to wake up."

"Okay."

"Five. Four. Three. Two..."

Rin felt the last bit of her chakra fading, as she gripped his hand tighter. 

"One."

All at once, they were no longer in the dark recesses of his mind, but in the dimness of his bedroom. The candle burned halfway down on the nightstand and Gaara remained resting against the bed frame, his hand secured firmly in her grasp. There was a throbbing in her fingers. 

Rin let out a slow exhale. "Gaara?"

He twitched at the sound of his name, his tired eyes opening to assess her. "Hm?"

"How do you feel?"

He shifted the weight of his shoulders. "I don't know, how should I feel?"

She unwrapped the red ribbon, releasing their hands. "I'm not sure, honestly. Usually, when I perform this jutsu, it shows me a problem at work or a worry about a child's success in school. That kind of memory is one I'd expect on the fourth or fifth casting, not the first."

He leaned his head back. "It was a surprise for me too. I knew it was a bad memory for me, but for some reason, I wanted to show you. I don't even know why." 

She rolled and flexed her wrist. "Who is this Yashamaru, would your adult-self want to tell me?"

Gaara closed his eyes again, the emotional exhaustion unmistakable. "He was my uncle on my mother's side. Up until recently, I thought he was lying about loving me my whole life, but events have told me that wasn't true."

"Why did you think he was lying about loving you?"

He opened one eye to look at her. "He tried to kill me when I was six."

Rin grimaced. "I'm... I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "If you're going to apologize for every twisted thing that's happened in my life, we'll be in for a long journey."

Rin began packing up her things. "I feel that will be the case, regardless. There's a lot going on in that brain of yours."

Gaara stayed where he was, watching as she blew out what remained of her incense and placed it in her leather-bound bag. "Do you think we made any progress in figuring out why I can't sleep?"

She turned to look at him and the honesty she wore on her face made a part of him hurt. "I'd like to think so, but your insomnia may be too engraved, even for me. I'm thinking I need more time with you to gather what triggers you have. Do you mind if I come by earlier tomorrow night, try some further relaxation techniques before we start?"

He winced at the comment. "Am I that tense?"

Her eyes were half-moons when she laughed. "To be fair, I think you have a good excuse. Tomorrow, I'll start round two."

She gathered up her kimono and the rest of her supplies and excused herself out for the guards to escort her home. 

Gaara's hand slid along the space on the bed where she'd left him, the absence of her warmth evident with each fall of his fingers. 

~~~

When Rin made it back to the guest room, she quickly discarded her bag and fell face first into the bed. The pillows formed around her head, the scent of sunshine and soap locked within them. She nuzzled her face further, trying to process what all she'd seen that night. 

"This is going to be harder than I thought." She said to herself, turning to lay on her side.

She wanted to stretch her body out, maybe get something to eat. Between the trek across the desert, her meeting with the council and her first encounter into a mind that wouldn't be easily swayed, was definitely taking its toll, but as always, work came first. 

She was designed that way.

Her fingers reached for the nightstand, deftly feeling around for her prize. Once they laid on the green notebook, Rin pulled it to her chest, scribbling away with the pen, so often tangled in her hair. 

"Subject: Gaara, Kazekage of the Sand. 

First exposure to Somnam Jutsu. 

Mood: Eager, but doubtful of processes.

First contact of the subconscious delivered through guide and memories of child-like state. Memory... painful. 

Guide seemed frightened of dark spaces within subconscious. Explore further. 

Plan of action: additional relaxation techniques prior to casting to achieve deeper trust/bonding. 

Results of first cast... inconclusive."

After reading the report more than once, Rin found the words blurring together. Without realizing it, tears came to her eyes at the memory of what she'd seen. 

"I'm just tired. I'll feel better tonight."

She set the notebook back on the nightstand, blew out her lamp and settled down for sleep, just as the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon.

This schedule was nothing new to her, so drifting off wouldn't be a problem, though the irony of her being unable to sleep, wasn't lost on the kuonichi. 

The last thought before succumbing to her exhaustion, was of that little boy, with the big smile and eyes filled with light.

Her heart hurt at how quickly they turned to despair and how little of that light returned, even now. 

"Poor thing."


	6. A Healing Touch

The day dragged on and on.

Gaara was struggling to concentrate, despite all of the meetings actually being interesting topics to him.

He cared about the upcoming Chunin exams and made sure to watch the various genin practice in the arena. The Sand would have some real contenders this year.

He was also interested in discussing trading with the Village Hidden in the Stone. He felt that being their closest neighbors, they'd have a unique understanding of what the other's needs were and how they could compensate for whatever was lacking. 

But no matter how hard he tried, he kept watching the sun and a small part of him begged for it to set. 

Kankuro came up beside him. "How'd it go, last night? Were you able to get some shuteye?"

Gaara swished his hand over a twisting tornado of sand, stopping it before it gained any real momentum. "If you're asking whether or not I slept, no. Ms. Ito thinks it will take a few more castings."

The captain laced his hands behind his head. "That's too bad. I was hoping you'd wake up this morning refreshed and ready to go."

Gaara smiled at his brother. "I may not have slept like you and Temari did, but I wouldn't say I don't feel at least slightly refreshed."

Kankuro's eyebrows rose. "Oh, well that's saying something, at least. What's she going to do tonight?"

The Kazekage turned, slicing through the last dirt devil. "She claims I'm too tense to make real progress, so she's going to try some more relaxation exercises before we start."

At this, Kankuro stopped walking behind and rushed to stare his brother in the face. "What kind of exercises?"

"I'm not sure. Oils and herbs and such, why?"

The captain felt a redness come to his cheeks. "Oh, no reason. It's just, she's a lovely woman, wouldn't you agree?"

Gaara missed a step and nearly stumbled over his brother's words. "That's not coming into play at all. What's happening isn't...that."

Kankuro raised his hands in surrender. "I'm not saying anything sordid is happening, but if it was, good for you, bro."

Now it was his turn to feel uneasy. "Trust me, the things she's seeing in my subconscious, are not my best qualities. It's all professional."

When Temari caught up with the two, she'd picked up the tail end of the conversation and her lip turned into a snarl. "Men. Of course, you'd think that any type of female attention is sexual. Even when it's clearly medicinal. I swear, your ego, sometimes."

"I never said I thought it was!" Gaara was quick to say, a bit of his youth showing through his protest. 

Temari rolled her eyes. "Ms. Ito is here to do a job, nothing more. It's no different than when Sakura treated you, Kankuro. Remember that? When you were dying of poison. Suffocating, coughing up blood, sweating like a pig..."

"Okay, okay, I get it."

She smiled at him. "Defecating."

"Ew! Stop! Please!"

Unwilling to further picture the pretty medic tending to him in that state, Kankuro covered his ears and took off in the next direction, leaving Temari with her youngest brother. 

Gaara smiled at the scene and nodded his thanks. "I appreciate the help."

"Kankuro means well, you know that."

"I do."

She decided to escort him the rest of the way to the house, asking only a few questions here and there.

It was nice to have Gaara to herself, especially when the sun was setting and their conversation lasted more than just what business had to be handled that day. She tried to encourage more visits like this, but they were few and far between. She didn't want to admit it, but a part of her didn't know how to speak to her youngest brother outside of meetings and security concerns. 

Just as they reached the door, he turned and noted. "You're a woman, Temari."

"Wow, thank you for noticing."

"Sorry. Do you think there is anything to what Kankuro was saying?"

She leaned back on her fan. "Do you want there to be?"

His pale eyes searched the ground. "I don't want what he's implying. Not right now. However, Ms. Ito claims that I'm having a hard time trusting her and relaxing. I suppose that's a big part of this jutsu being a success. How do I trust her, when I'm just starting to trust myself?"

Temari thought about the question. The face of her strategic mind flittered with all manner of outcomes.

"Temari?"

"In this case, little brother, I think the easiest way to trust someone, is to let go. Remember when we were kids and you liked to watch Kankuro and I on the swings?"

"Yes."

"We used to jump off and see how far we could land. Remember what happened when you tried that once?"

The image of his mouth full of the sand, which rushed to protect him, flashed through his mind. "I couldn't do it."

"And why couldn't you?"

He looked down at his hand, which he opened and closed a few times. "Because no matter how badly I wanted to fly like you, I couldn't let go of the swing at the very end."

Temari placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "That's right. Maybe this is a time to finally let go of the swing?"

He smiled at her words and the uncommon feeling of her trying to comfort him. "Thank you. Would you ask the chef to bring up dinner for myself and Ms. Ito, to my room? She wants to start earlier tonight."

"Yes, my Lord."

~~~

By the time Rin made her way up the crazy staircase and down the halls, she felt thoroughly lost.

How anyone was expected to memorize this crazy path was beyond her, though she guessed that was the point. She couldn't recreate a map of this place, even if she tried. 

The guard who escorted her, hadn't said a word the entire walk and that was fine. Her mind was full of the information she'd gleaned last night. 

Tonight, she'd try a different tactic. 

When she was allowed entry into his private quarters, Gaara was resting at the table in his side room. She wasn't sure if it were her imagination or high hopes, but he seemed a fraction more relaxed, as he lounged in the chair and gave her a nod. 

"Good evening, Rin."

"Hello Gaara, how are you feeling today?"

He reached for a glass of tea and sipped it. "Not bad. Same as usual."

This irked her a little, though it shouldn't have. 

_Well what did you expect? He'd be cured over night? You're just getting full of yourself, Rin._

She set down her bag and took a peek at the assortment of food. "Lovely spread you have."

He smiled at her. "Yes, I figured you'd be living off of your travel rations and I thought to offer you something a bit tastier."

Rin settled herself into the chair opposite of him. "Well aren't you sweet? I was actually looking to make sure there wasn't anything with lots of sugar or caffeine, honestly."

This made him chuckle; a warm, happy sound. "Always the medic, I see."

She shrugged. "Guilty as charged."

Gaara gestured to the food. "Please, help me finish this. My cooks went a little overboard, since I don't often request anything from them."

The Sand's food was unfamiliar to her pallet, but manageable all the same.

Rin wasn't a huge eater; in fact she'd been scolded for being "too picky" in the past. She'd often eat alone, so as not to have the fight with the scientists for the umpteenth time. But when you weren't sure if what you're eating is substance or narcotics, you learn to be a bit "picky."

This, however, was the perfect excuse to get to know her client better. 

"What's your favorite color, Gaara?"

He set down his tea cup and studied her face. "I don't think I've ever been asked that."

"No?"

"No. It's not pertinent information to carry out my duties."

"I guess it's not, is it?"

She reached for a biscuit, nibbling until it grew soft in her mouth. 

_What a witty conversationalist I am. He's only the youngest leader of the Sand in history and THAT was the best question I drummed up?_

"Red."

"What?"

Gaara reached up and touched the tips of his hair. "I like the color red."

She smiled. "I like red too, but I prefer green. What is your least favorite job as Kazekage?"

He smirked at the question. "Are you trying to figure out where I'm weakest or something?"

Rin took a sip of the tea, which tasted like pomegranate. "No, just trying to understand you better. You never have to answer, of course."

"Hm, all of my duties are important. If I had to choose, I don't enjoy the paperwork."

"I feel like that's a common complaint of Kage. What do you enjoy the most?"

He popped a grape in his mouth and thought about it for a moment. "Walking through town in the daylight now."

"Now?"

"Yes, there was a time I'd avoid it at all cost. People wouldn't want to see me and I had no interest in encountering them."

"But that's changed?"

A small smile came to Gaara's face. "Yes, I believe it has. There's still a few of the older generation who tighten up when they see me, but the younger ones don't seem to mind. I even had a child ask me to make her a sand flower."

Rin took note of the way his face lit up when he spoke of the memory. It was nice to see him smile like that. 

The round of twenty questions went on for a time, most of them lighthearted in nature. She noticed his posture and how he carried himself when she arrived versus now, when they'd been chatting for a while. 

Most people relaxed after a few minutes of pleasant conversation, but Gaara remained perfectly posed, his shoulders back firmly.

"He's one tough cookie." She thought to herself, as she finished the last bit of her tea.

"So, what's the plan for tonight? You mentioned starting earlier with new techniques." 

"Indeed, I did."

It pleased her that he remembered her idea from the night before and that he seemed eager to start.

She stood from the table and walked over to the bed, noticing how the blankets were firmly tucked in, not a wrinkle to show he'd been there at all.

Rin let out a low whistle. 

"Is something wrong?"

She turned on her heel. "No, nothing. I'm just curious, do you feel more at rest when things are orderly? This bed, for example, I don't think I've ever seen anything so tidy in any of my clients."

Gaara stood at the end of the bed and brushed his fingers across the blankets, removing a pinch of unauthorized dust that settled. "My father insisted on it." 

"Your father?"

He nodded. "Yes, he always commanded an orderly home. Temari and Kankuro's beds are the same."

_Interesting._

"Do you feel better when things are like that or is it a matter of habit, now?"

The Kazekage shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"I see. Well, unfortunately, we're going to disrupt the tidiness. I need you to lay, face down, on the bed for me." 

His eyes caught hers, the faint light of suspicion filling them. "Why?"

She smiled her encouraging smile. "Because I'm going to work out those tight muscles, if it's the last thing I do tonight."

For the first time since their meeting, Gaara seemed truly stunned. "You're... you're going to give me a massage?"

Rin grabbed a bottle of lotion from her sack. She'd spent weeks waiting for the lavender to bloom in her garden and made sure to pick them under a full moon. 

Whether or not this actually effected the scent, didn't matter to her. She'd do anything to get the full extent of her products.

She took a heaping dollop and started warming her hands. "Oh good, you're familiar?"

"My physicians recommended it in the past, but the man they brought in to do it, couldn't get close to me."

"Why not?"

Gaara held up a hand and the sand formed a tiny tornado in his grasp. "The sand responds when it perceives I'm in danger. Any time he tried to approach me, he was pushed away and we never tried again."

Rin studied the mini-twister and tried not to show the concern on her face. "Why would the sand think a massage is dangerous?"

He avoided her gaze, focusing instead on the wall, the ceiling, anything to get away with not looking at her. "I don't respond well to people touching me like that." 

The lotion began to dry in her hand. "Oh..."

They stayed quiet for a moment, neither sure of how to proceed.

Rin finally broke the silence. "Well, remember what I said in the beginning, you decide what you're comfortable with. I think you would really benefit from having the tension worked out, but if you're completely against it, I'll move on to something else."

Gaara thought about it for a moment, the emotions working across his face in waves. 

_"What is he so scared of?" Rin wondered._

Just as she was convinced she'd been foiled, a voice, that was more of a whisper, responded. "All right. I'll try."

Her smile was genuine, the fluttering of her heart like a bird taking flight.

Gaara was trying so hard to make this work and that gave her back the hope she was losing. 

"Okay, then take off your shirt and lay face down. I'll give you a minute, while I prepare the herbs."

Quick not to waste her opportunity, Rin raced over to the bag, retrieving the various supplies she needed and mixed them together.

Lavender, jasmine, vanilla, all the herbs she'd tested time and time again for muscle relaxation, she prayed wouldn't fail her. 

She barely heard him make any noise and half expected him to still be standing there when she turned around, only to find that he'd obeyed her command and was laying on his stomach, with his arms tucked under his head. 

Rin steadied herself and approached slowly, feeling like she was coming up on a wild animal, afraid one quick movement would spook him.

She stopped at the bedside, warmed her hands with the lotion and set to begin rubbing his shoulders. 

To her surprise, a wave of sand rushed to block her touch. It didn't hurt her, but the pressure of it did send her back a few steps. 

She breathed heavily, heart racing at the sudden intrusion.

Just as quickly as it appeared, the assaulting force went back to its home, silent as a grave. 

"I told you." Gaara's voice sounded miserable. 

Rin took a deep breath, just as she instructed her clients to do, when they were frightened.

She didn't want to be afraid of Gaara, but that sand of his, was enough to put even her on edge. 

"It's okay, I'm just going to move slow and remember to tell you what I'm doing."

Stepping back up to where she was, Rin swallowed down her nervous energy and announced. "I have the lotion in my hands. I'm going to reach down now and touch your shoulders. Is that okay?"

"Mm hm."

There it was, the moment of truth.

Rin kept her eyes fixed on the large gourd where the sand waited, like a guard dog ready to attack. Her hands inched closer and closer, steady, though they wanted to shake. 

Her voice came out in a whisper, as if she could hide. "Here we go, 3, 2, 1."

And just like that, her hands found their way to his shoulder blades and though he tensed when she touched him, the sand stayed in its resting place. 

Rin exhaled the breath she'd been holding and set out to do one of her specialties; making her clients feel relaxed. 

She rubbed her hands along the curves of his shoulder blades, pressing gently on his spine. There was a trail of goosebumps on his skin, but he stayed completely still, giving her no indication of the panicking thoughts flittering through his mind. 

_"She's going to do it. She's going to touch me. What if I hurt her? The sand already warned her once. What will I do? What do I do? What do I...oh... that's... wow."_

Her gentle, warm hands slid up and down his back and it felt divine. The way her fingers melted into the grooves of his muscles, the graceful strokes she took that were calculated, but free. The whole experience was the best thing he'd known in a very long time. 

"Mmm."

Rin's ears perked up at the sound.

As if he were molded from clay, her fingers worked into his rigged frame and he melted at her touch. "Is that feeling good?"

"Yes." He purred. 

"How's the pressure? Harder or softer?"

Gaara didn't say anything.

Rin's eyebrows went up, surely this wasn't the only thing he needed to fall asleep? Life was never that easy. 

"Gaara?"

He took a deep breath, his voice soft. "A bit harder, if you don't mind?"

"Can do."

Increasing the pressure, she noticed the trail of goosebumps that shot over his body, and bit her tongue, so she wouldn't say what she wanted to say.

Her inner voice was celebrating at this progress, but she was determined to maintain a professional air, if it killed her. 

When she came to a particularly difficult knot, her eyebrows drew together. "Tension here usually implies that you're slouching."

"Slouching? I thought my posture was perfect."

Rin slid the outside of her hand up the knot like a blade, cutting away at it. "When you're standing up, yes, but if you're bent over paperwork, this kind of thing can happen."

"Further reasoning to avoid paperwork at all costs."

She laughed at his joke, truly surprised at how quickly he thought of it. Perhaps the Kazekage had a sense of humor, after all?

Gaara smiled to himself. It wasn't often he made someone laugh. He liked the sound of it. 

After a bit more attention to his back, Rin's capable fingers worked their way up to his neck, marveling at the tension there.

No wonder he was having a hard time relaxing, the top of his shoulders and neck were practically rigid. 

She moved her fingers in a circular pattern, running them up and down, feeling the tension drift away under her touch. "Your body responds really well to massage. That's a good thing to know in the future. Before I leave, I'll make sure to schedule regular appointments with your medical staff so you can have one a week."

To her surprise, the sand that previously stayed dormant, came rushing up, blocking her hands from their work.

Rin withdrew, holding them to her chest. "Gaara? What's wrong?"

He rose up on his elbows, turning to face her, an odd look in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know it's important to continue with all of this after you're gone, but I don't think anyone else is going to be able to do what you've done. That's why the sand reacted that way."

Rin gave a small, "hm" curious how she could break through this touch barrier, but couldn't convince him that others were just as safe.

"Okay, we don't have to think about the future right now. I'm almost done with the massage, unless you want to move on to something else?"

"No!" Gaara's protest was louder than he intended and it showed by the slight blush that filled his cheeks. He quickly recovered, clearing his throat. "I mean, I'd like to finish, if that's fine with you?"

Rin tried to fight it. Every part of her soul fought for the control not to laugh.

Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh, but despite her best efforts, the look on his face was too much and she giggled into her hand. 

Gaara studied her face, marveling at the way it lit up when she laughed, even if he wasn't sure what he said that was all that funny. "Ms. Ito?"

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh." She said, through bouts of giggles. 

"What did I say?"

Rin squeezed her stomach, her laughing rolling out before her. "Nothing! Nothing. I'm sorry. It's just, I'm so happy."

Gaara tilted his head. "Happy? About what?"

She finally managed to rein in her giggles, wiping away a tear that trailed down her cheek. "I'm happy that you're relaxing a bit. It makes me glad to see that you're enjoying things like massage and oils. This is great progress."

The Kazekage thought about this for a moment, before laying back down, so he was studying her from his pillow. "You're a strange girl, Rin."

"Yeah, I've heard that before. All right, I'm going to work on your chest for a bit. Make sure to take those deep breaths we talked about, so you take advantage of the effects of the herbs."

Gaara knew he should close his eyes, it felt weird to stare at her while she worked, but he couldn't help it.

Rin was unlike anyone he'd met. She was serene and at the same time, enthused. Experienced and yet young at heart. He couldn't pin her down like he did everyone else and he wasn't sure if the idea intrigued or worried him. 

Her skilled palms went to his chest, rubbing the lotion into his muscles in a circular motion.

It felt heavenly. 

Rin focused on her work, pleased at the response she was getting. It dawned on her why Gaara looked different from all her other clients.

It wasn't his highborn status, she'd quickly moved on from that, or even the sheer level of insomnia she was taking on, it was something she'd never encountered before. 

All of her clients, from children to elderly, had the same thing in common, besides sleeplessness. They all had scars of some kind; cuts from tree climbing, large wounds from farm work, a number of tiny things that showed their life journey in some way. 

Gaara was completely devoid of them. Not a single blemish, scar, scrape, scratch, nothing at all. The sight astounded her. 

"Is something wrong?" His voice broke her trance. 

"Oh, no, nothing at all. I was just thinking."

Gaara focused on her face. "You have a lot of expression when you're thinking."

She placed the final touches on his chest, noticing the incredible shape he was in. Rin tried to separate her womanly desires from her professional mindset, but of course, it was always in the back of her mind. 

"All right, that will do it. How do you feel, Gaara?"

He closed his eyes, stretching his arms up. "Good. Really good."

Rin smiled. "I'm glad. We can put down massage in the pro-relaxation category."

"What's next?"

She left the bed to retrieve her jasmine oil and red ribbon. "We go again, just like last night."

Gaara started to sit up, but she placed a hand to his chest and lowered him back down. "It's fine to stay right where you are. We're going to work our way in levels this time."

"Do you think it will be the same kind of memory as last night?"

Rin began wrapping the ribbon around their joined hands, which she noticed he had no problem interlocking with hers, and shrugged. "That all depends on what you want to show me. Here we go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! What's your favorite way to relax after a long day? Let me know!


	7. In the Monster's Eye

She opened her eyes, the same thick walls pressing in on her, like a bug caught in a child's hand. 

Rin took a breath and willed more of her chakra, fighting her way through. "Gaara, it's me."

There was a rippling in the force surrounding her, opening itself up and allowing a few easy steps. She pulled through the last bit of resistance and made her way into his subconscious mind. "Well, that was easier than last time."

The same dark abyss greeted her, empty and echoing her steps, as she stumbled down new passages.

Raising her hand, Rin produced the torch she'd used previously, but unlike the last time, no child guide came to her. 

"Hm. Now where could you be?" Rin continued along the pathway, searching for anything Gaara was willing to show her. 

She wondered if the massage was too effective and he wasn't receptive to her presence? 

"No, you're good, but you aren't THAT good. Get over yourself, Ito." She put a hand on her hip, trying to decide whether to continue on or stay there, when a voice rumbled in the shadows.

"You're here."

Rin jumped, nearly dropping her imaginary torch. "Gaara?"

She searched the darkness, but found nothing. "Where are you?"

His voice changed into something she hadn't heard from him before. If she didn't know any better, she'd almost say it was a growl.

"I am."

She moved closer to where she thought the sound was coming from. "Are you coming out?"

"You're not ready to see me."

Rin stopped in her tracks. "That's completely up to you. Is this something you want me to see?"

There was silence.

She waited, trying to make it seem like she wasn't searching for him. When he didn't say anything back, she lowered her torch. "Ok then, would it help if I closed my eyes?"

Her ears picked up a brushing sound, like something shuffling on the ground and then an angry voice rocked the world around her and nearly set her off her feet. "Close your eyes?! Of course, that's what everyone did, so why shouldn't you?"

The dark walls pulsated and a heat, she wasn't expecting, filled the caverns. Two drops of sweat rolled down her back, but she maintained her calm stance, even though the small hairs on her neck were standing on end.

This felt different than last time, the energy wasn't playful like that little boy. She'd gone deeper... darker. "What would you like me to do, Gaara?"

The shuffling sound echoed with a thumping she couldn't identify.

She peered into the darkness, trying to focus on the shadow moving amongst it. Whatever version of him she'd stumbled across, it was big and she knew, from some place deep within her, it was dangerous. 

The shadow stopped for a moment and Rin nearly took a step closer. "Gaara?"

Suddenly a misshapen, mockery of a creature shot up into her face, filling her vision with its terror. "What do I want you to do? What do I want you to do?! I want you to die! I want everyone to die!"

It was grotesques, the thing he'd shown himself to be. Some strange mixture of demon and man, with eyes that held her in their wake, daring her to do the thing she most wanted in her life. Run. 

Every fiber of her being screamed out to escape, but she remained where she was. Though her heart pounded in her chest, Rin refused to turn away, she'd seen monsters before. "Gaara, do you remember who I am?"

The demon before her smiled, drool cascading from its fangs and pooling on the floor.

Half of his face looked the same, if not younger, but the other was something that made her insides twist. It belonged to something wicked; a creature which shouldn't dwell in the mortal plane and certainly not within the body of a young man. 

"Oh, I remember you. You're the pretty girl who's trying to probe my mind. Use my secrets against me."

"That's not true."

He snarled, swishing his tail back and forth, foul smelling breath choking the air around them. "Why else would you help? You can't save me. No one can save me. Everyone is out for themselves."

"I hear your fear talking. You're afraid I have ulterior motives. That no one could want to help you because of the monster within."

He said nothing in reply, so Rin continued, gaining a few steps on him. "The creature you're afraid of doesn't live here anymore. The Akatsuki removed it, remember?"

Gaara stopped backing up and growled. "It's not gone. It's never gone. The One Tail is inside of me. I'm a monster, everyone knows I'm a monster."

"You're not."

"I am. Look at you now. You're sweating, the stench of your fear is thick. You're just as afraid of me as everyone else! You're no different!"

Rin swallowed, her voice coming out more powerful than she felt. "It's true. When I look at how you are now, I'm afraid of you. I won't deny that and I won't insult our friendship by lying to you."

"I don't have any friends. Everyone who gets close to me dies. They all leave or die!"

One massive claw swiped out at her and it was all she could do to duck out of the way. The imaginary torch flew from her hands, leaving her in the darkness with the monster. 

Even if it were all in his mind, he could still hurt her. She wouldn't show any physical scars, but he could damage her mentally, if he saw fit.

Rin leapt out of the way, narrowly avoiding another assault, when her voice rang out. "There was a person! One person who was your friend in the beginning. Remember?"

"No! No one! You're lying! You want to hurt me. Want to come for me like all the others. Those sent to kill me... but I killed them first. Every single one my father brought against me, I crushed them into dust. That's how it will always be. I'll crush you too. No one will stand against my darkness... my purpose."

She fell hard on the ground, crawling away from the attacking shadow, until her back came to one of the walls. Though it wasn't encouraged to manipulate the subject's mental plane, Rin felt she had no choice.

Her hand slammed against the wall and she released a wave of chakra, changing its darkness to light and pulling out an image. 

"Whatcha doin' Gaara?" A bright light filled the cavern, revealing everything that hid there.

The monster Gaara was becoming, stood up straight, fixated on the image. "N...Naruto?"

Memories of the legendary ninja filled the plane, shooting around like film.

Rin stood up from her crouch, feeling her energy draining with each second she showed him. "You see? There was someone. A person who cared for you, when you thought no one would."

"Come on Gaara! What are you staying in the dark for?" Naruto's voice echoed through his mind. 

Gaara stumbled back a few steps, his grotesque form rippling. "My friend..."

Rin focused, flipping through other faces. "And he wasn't the only one."

Images of his siblings appeared; Kankuro smiling, Temari looking proud as she always did. "Time is wasting, little brother."

"My family."

Rin nodded, using the last bit of her strength to show the faces she'd seen in the village. "Hail Lord Gaara! Hail the Kazekage!"

"My people."

Suddenly it went dark, the last bit of her chakra used up. Rin faltered on her feet, but managed to walk closer to him. She lit a small firelight between them, so he could see her face in the shadows. "And me. I'm here for you too, Gaara. You aren't alone anymore."

"Rin."

"You're not alone."

Time came rushing back. Gaara's eyes opened, shooting around the stone ceiling above him. His breathing came out hard, sweat pooling on his brow. "Wow. That was intense. Why in the world did my mind go to that place?"

He turned to face the woman, who was still tied to his wrist. "Rin?"

She swayed a bit and fell forward.

Before she could hit the ground, Gaara untied their wrists and moved her to the bed, so she was laying beside him. "Ms. Ito? Rin? Are you all right? Can you hear me?" 

She moaned softly. "Mm hm."

"What can I do? What do you need? Did I hurt you?"

"Sleep."

"What was that?"

Rin's voice was so quiet, he had to place his ear to her lips to hear her. "Drained. Need sleep."

"Oh. All right." Before he finished speaking, she was out. Gaara scooted away from her, trying to give her all the space she'd need.

He looked out the window; still dark. 

The Kazekage fretted about what to do.

She clearly needed rest and he wasn't going to be roused for his duties for another few hours. He should get up and give her privacy, let her recuperate in peace, but...

Gaara laid back down, keeping a safe amount of space between them and studied the woman who came into his life like a thunderstorm.

Her hair stuck to her face, sweat-lining her brow from the chakra she'd used up.

"You're not alone, Gaara. I'm here for you too." 

With a shaking hand, he brushed away a few strands, revealing her sleeping expression. The sight of it made his heart ache. 

He scooted a bit closer, so his whisper would reach her, without disturbing her slumber. "I'm sorry, Rin."


	8. Walk of Shame

Rin slept a dreamless sleep, her muscles worn and sore from the loss of her chakra. Gaara was a case she couldn't have been ready for, no matter what preparation she tried. There was something feral in him, buried deep behind layers of self-control and, even worse, self-hatred. It was going to take a while to tear those walls down and she wasn't even sure if she could, but she wasn't going to give up.

Her mind was awake, but her eyes felt heavy and she decided to leave them closed for a while longer. "Did I write down what I saw last night? No, I don't think I did. I don't remember taking my journal out. Wait... did I even go home, last night?"

Suddenly, her eyes shot open and the memories came rushing back. She sat up in bed, scanning the room and finding it empty in the dim light.

Rin looked down at her hands, flexing them open and closed a few times. "I must have really overdone it last night. What a rookie mistake."

Her legs were shaky, as she stood up and nearly fell back down. "Okay, take it slow, Ito. Let's get back home before anyone notices you spent the night in the Kazekage's room."

She stumbled to the window, brushing open the curtain and instantly closed it again when the barrage of sunlight hit her eyes.

It had to be at least noon, she'd slept through the night and there was no way she'd escape without everyone noticing. "Well, if people didn't think I was an escort before..." Rin groaned, rubbing her temples. 

She returned to her supplies, packing them up one by one, muttering to herself. "Of all the unprofessional, lazy, ridiculous things you've ever done, Rin, this has got to be the worst. Stupid, stupid girl. What are people going to say? What about all the training you've done working up to this case? You might as well turn in your headband and demote yourself back to genin."

"Good afternoon, Ms. Ito."

Rin leapt out of her skin, her bag flying from her hands. "Oh! Captain Temari! You scared me."

The stern woman raised an eyebrow at her. 

Rin cleared her throat. "Ma'am."

Temari sighed and closed the door behind her. Bending to retrieve the scattered supplies, she handed the bag back to the smaller girl, forcing it roughly into her hands. "Sounds like you had quite the night."

"It's not what you think."

"And you presume to know what I think?"

"Well, I can imagine."

Temari's glower didn't waver. "Did you not sleep beside my brother, last night?"

Rin felt her cheeks getting hot. "Yes, but..."

"And did you not remain there the entire night?"

"I did, but you don't know..."

"It's none of my business what goes on in Gaara's personal life. My job is to protect him from any threats within and without these walls."

Rin crossed her arms, wary of the tone. "And does that suddenly include me?"

Temari stepped closer to her, at least four inches taller and stared her down. "Should it?"

Neither kunochi faltered in their stance.

Even though it was in Rin's nature to be a peacekeeper, she didn't appreciate the hostility the Sand seemed to thrive on. She wanted to look away from Temari's challenging stare, but felt if she did, she'd be failing some kind of test. 

After an intense moment, the door behind them opened and Kankuro entered, carrying a tray of food. "Hey there, hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

Temari squinted and stepped away, brushing past her brother. "Idiot."

When she left, Rin let out her breath in one long exhale, heart pounding in her chest. "Good afternoon, sir."

He set the tray on the table. "Yikes, drop the 'sir,' please. It makes me feel old. Kankuro is just fine."

Rin bowed her head and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "Your sister seems to feel I've outstayed my welcome."

Kankuro rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's just Temari. She's always been like that. Come over here and get some breakfast. Gaara ordered what he'd thought you'd like from the dinner you guys shared last night."

She inched closer to the table, feeling awkward about eating alone. "She seemed to like me just fine when I arrived."

The Captain popped a grape into his mouth. "She does like you."

"How do you figure?"

He shrugged. "You're alive, aren't you?"

"What?!"

Kankuro laughed at her expression. "Kidding, kidding. Temari thinks you're good for Gaara. She's just hesitant to change and you being here, so close to the Kazekage, is a big change. Actually, she's been the one pushing the others to accept you staying here for a while."

Rin winched. "Has there been push-back?"

"The council seemed to think your jutsu would cure his problem in one night and have been calling for your removal, ever since."

"Well, isn't that lovely?" She said with a bitter taste in her mouth. "I apologize if my work isn't fitted to their timeline. I'm only walking around in a human brain every night."

Kankuro slid into the chair across from her and watched her carefully. "Between you and I, what's it like in there?"

Rin looked up. "Excuse me?"

"In Gaara's mind. I can't begin to imagine what that must be like. If I could know what he's thinking, I'd be able to be a better captain for him, not to mention, a better brother."

Rin poured herself some tea and avoided his gaze. "It's not in my policy to reveal the mind of my clients to others, no matter how good their intentions may be." 

Kankuro leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I guess that makes sense. Eat something, will you? Don't let it go to waste."

The silence between them was thick and uncomfortable.

She enjoyed his presence, but the knowledge that her movements were being watched and her methods questioned, more than she believed when she came, weighed on her.

She suddenly felt pressured to provide results by some impossible deadline and there was no telling how long the process could take with a mind like Gaara's. 

"So... you slept with my brother last night?"

Rin spit out her tea, coughing into her hand.

Kankuro smiled a wicked smile and leaned his head on his laced fingers. "Why the reaction? It's good for him. We're all very pleased."

The painful heaving of her chest almost made the words coming out of her mouth impossible to say. "It's not what you think! I went deeper into his mind and had to use up a lot of chakra. End of story. Nothing sordid or unprofessional happened."

"Of course, not. What else do you think I was implying?" He looked like a cat with a fresh canary in his teeth.

Rin dabbed a napkin over her mouth. "Good. I'm glad we have at least that straightened out."

Kankuro stood and offered her a hand. "Come on, I'm here to sneak you out the back way. Gaara had a feeling you'd be worried about prying eyes in the front and he wants to see you again before your session tonight."

"See me where?"

He swung her bag over his shoulder. "A little change in scenery."


	9. Welcome to Paradise

The afternoon sun beat down on the pair, its radiant beams sucking the energy out of Rin with each step she took. How she loathed the desert. Kankuro insisted on carrying her bag, which made the trek infinitely easier than when she first arrived, but it was clear this wasn't her forte.

He slowed his steps, so she wouldn't fall too far behind him, but continued his frustrating game of not telling her where they were going. 

"Can I get a hint?"

"Nope."

"A clue?"

"No."

"A smidge in the right direction?"

"Good try, but no."

Rin pouted to herself. What was it Gaara needed to show her that brought her so far away from the village? 

A dangerous thought flashed through her mind. What if it wasn't Gaara's order at all? What if she was being led straight into a trap and she didn't realize it?

She eyed Kankuro, trying to account for any weapons he had. She was certain that puppet, forever strapped to his back, would make quick work of her. Rin was trained in combat from a young age, as all ninja were, but she'd left those days far behind her. Her talents lied in healing people, not damaging them, and if the Puppet Master of the Sand were as dangerous as she heard, it was far too late for her to try and run from him. 

She stopped walking, her hands trembling into fists by her sides. "Kankuro."

He turned. "Yeah?"

She took a deep gulp and made her voice sound firm. "Where are you taking me? Why am I being escorted away from the village like this?"

His brow furled. "I told you, Gaara wanted a change of scenery."

Rin raised her hands up and gestured at the vast ocean of sand surrounding them. "What change would that be? Everywhere you look it's the same. Sand over here, sand over there and oh, look, even more sand! I demand to know what's going on, right now."

Kankuro stared her down, studying the change in her tone, the fixed state of her posture. He stepped closer to her and she stepped back. "Interesting that you think you can make demands of anything."

Rin wavered. "Am I not still a guest of the Sand Village?"

"Are we in the village?"

She wanted to run. Her feet begged her to move, to rush away from the man she thought was a friendly presence. But where could she go? She wasn't even sure if she'd make it to the village on her own or that there wouldn't be reinforcements waiting to seize her. 

"Is it because I'm a member of the Sound? Is that why?"

"Why what, exactly?"

Rin closed her eyes, waiting. "Why you're going to kill me out here, where they won't find my body?"

There was a moment of heated silence, followed instantly by laughter. Rin peeked open one eye and found her guide doubled over, gripping his sides. "What's so funny?"

He laughed hard, snorting occasionally and had to try more than once to gather himself to speak. "You! Oh, man Rin, you're a riot!" His voice took on a feminine tone. "You're going to hide my body somewhere out here! Please, no, Kankuro!"

Rin rolled her eyes, hands coming to her hips. "It's not funny."

"It is!" He fell to one knee, "Your face! I almost couldn't hold it together."

"You've led me into the middle of nowhere, taking my belongings with you, no further escort and not a sight of anyone in miles! What else should I think?"

Kankuro stood from his perch, wiping away the tears that streamed down his face. "I see your point, I do, but you have to admit, it's a little funny."

Rin crossed her arms. "I'm glad you think so."

He came closer and put an arm around her shoulders. "We're nearly there. The only reason I haven't said anything about where we're going, is because I don't want to spoil the surprise for you. Trust me, if we were going to kill you, we wouldn't need to come all the way out here to do it."

"Well... I suppose that's good to know."

Kankuro winked at her. "You'll be pleased. Come on, it's just over that last dune."

They climbed the steep hill together, Rin holding onto Kankuro's arm and refusing to look down. It wasn't as if she were afraid of heights, but something about the idea of rolling down sand and getting lost in the middle of the wave, made her uneasy. 

When they finally reached the top, her legs ached and her face was raw from the heat and the wind.

It didn't seem like any surprise would be worth it, until her eyes fell on a sight that took her breath away. She rose a hand to her mouth and gasped. "Oh..."

"Ms. Ito, welcome to the Oasis."

It wasn't like anything she'd seen in her life. Protected from the wind by walls of sand on either side, the blindingly white building reflected off the crystal blue water surrounding it. Green palm trees circled the water, as if they'd been strategically planted to provide the perfect amount of shade.There was a wooden bridge stretching out over the water, with candles lining the walkway.

She imagined what the already spectacular place would look like under nightfall and the thought made her want to swoon. 

Rin took a step to start climbing down the dune, when a wave of sand met her foot and circled up her legs, holding her in place. 

Kankuro smiled. "Looks like someone knows you've arrived."

The sand felt pleasantly warm, not at all like the vicious beating she'd taken on her trip there. It wrapped up her body and gently lifted her off the ground, floating her to the bottom like she was a feather on the wind. Rin felt a rush from the descent and was sure if she closed her eyes, it was the closest to flying she'd ever experience. 

When she made it to the bottom, she was surprised to find Gaara waiting on the other side of the walkway. He bowed his head, walking to meet her in the middle. "Thank you for coming, Rin. I hope the trip here wasn't too taxing?"

She glared back at Kankuro, who looked like he may have another attack of laughter at her expense. "No, it was fine, thank you."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that."

They smiled awkwardly at each other, Rin feeling out of place in the beautiful vista. This certainly wasn't what she expected when she woke up this morning and found him gone.

"So, what now? Why did you want me to meet you out here?"

Gaara looked down. "Well, if I'm perfectly honest, I felt guilty about what happened last night."

Kankuro took a step closer, clearly listening to the conversation.

Rin noticed him and Gaara's face reddened. "Kankuro, thank you for the escort. You're free to return to your duties."

"Oh, come on! I just got here and you never know if there are enemies waiting. I should stay close and protect the two of you."

The Kazekage sighed. "Fine, help yourself to some refreshments and then assume post."

"Yes sir." He saluted and took the hint, leaving them to their talks.

Gaara held up an arm for her to take. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk about what happened and why I left."

Rin thought about it, looking from his arm, up to his face. He seemed cut off in some way, despondent. "All right."

She accepted his arm and he escorted her inside the resort without a word.

Rin gasped under her breath at the expansive room. It was the same shade of brilliant white as the outside, reflecting the light off the water, painting the walls with its natural beauty. 

There was a dark blue couch in the middle of the room and a few reclining chairs to the side. Plants filled each corner and a vine of twisting flowers circled the windows.

Rin left her escort and stepped up to inspect them. "These are beautiful. What are they?"

"Ember Roses. They only grow in this desert."

She gently took one into her hand, rising on her toes to smell it. The scent wasn't what she expected. It wasn't sweet or even floral for that matter, the rose smelt warm, spicy, like a living flame caught in her hand. 

Gaara stood beside her, appraising the flowers. "They were my mother's favorite, or so I'm told."

Rin glanced up at his face and memorized the expression. He looked longing at the blossom and then turned away from it, settling himself on the couch. 

"Will you please join me?"

She took one last sniff of the roses and sat beside him. "Is everything all right? This is quite a display just for a simple conversation."

He sat forward, elbows on his knees and sighed. "It's more than a simple conversation. I want to apologize for what happened in my mind last night. I never wanted you to see that side of me."

"But you're in control of your mind, Gaara. Your subconscious shows me exactly what you want. I can't pull memories out of you."

"I know logically, that's how it works, but it doesn't change the fact that I was out of control. I knew it would happen sooner or later. I knew that if we continued to go deeper into my mind, that ugly side of me would surface. I'm just sorry it did and I am sorry I hurt you in the process."

Rin shifted in her seat. "I wouldn't say you hurt me, per se."

He gave her a scornful look. "We both know that's not true." 

She sighed and scooched closer to her client. "Well, maybe not, but it's not as bad as you're making it seem. I'm fine. I just needed some sleep to recover, that's all."

Gaara placed his head in his hands. "It could have been worse. I said some terrible things to you. Questioned your intentions for helping me and I'm sorry."

Rin's hand went to his knee, squeezing it softly. "I have a feeling you say those words a lot."

"Which?"

"I'm sorry."

Gaara still refused to look at her. "I have a lot to be sorry for."

Rin searched through her memories of last night, the foul creature which tossed her around like a rag doll and told her she was only there to gain his secrets. "Do you think I'm your friend, Gaara?"

He flinched under the words, but didn't say anything in return. Rin slid her arm around his shoulders, her voice softening. "Well?"

"I think so."

"So, if you believe I am your friend and I'm here to help you work through whatever block is keeping you from sleep, why won't you look me in the eye and tell me what you need to say?"

He took a breath, raised his head and caught her eyes in his. The pale green, she'd noticed the first day, shone in the reflected light off the waters outside. His gaze bore into her and his voice came out soft. "I'm afraid if we go any further, I'll say things to you I'll regret."

"But you..."

"I know. I know. I'm in control of what you see and don't see. But, there's something about you, Rin. Something that makes me want to reveal myself to you, unfiltered, uncontrolled and that scares me. You scare me."

That was a first. She honestly didn't know how to respond to such a statement. Never in her history of using her jutsu, was someone afraid of her help.

She broke his gaze and looked down. "I see. If you want to cancel our contract, I understand. The process won't work if you're afraid to be honest with me. I'll go get my things from Kankuro."

She rose off the couch, her heart sinking into her stomach, until his hand grasped her wrist. "No. Please, please don't go. Stay with me, Rin."

She looked back at him and felt her sinking heart flutter at the expression in his eyes. He rose to meet her, her wrist still clasped securely in his hands.

His voice was a heated whisper. "Stay the night with me."


	10. Pasts Revealed

"Ex... excuse me?" Rin stammered, not quite sure she understood what he was asking. 

Gaara hadn't moved, his expression fixed on her. "I want you to stay here with me tonight, away from the eyes of the council. I'm sure you've heard they aren't pleased with the time it's taking for the jutsu to work."

She felt the familiar rebellion rise in her throat. "Yes, I was made painfully aware of that."

He gestured around the room. "So, let's stay here for the night. I already rearranged all my meetings and responsibilities to swing it."

_"Well, that explains why Temari was so cross." Rin thought to herself._

She scanned her surroundings. This was an area of true beauty and as far as relaxation went, she couldn't have thought of a better place to do so. However, she got the distinct feeling Gaara was trying to distract her from something. 

Placing her hand on his, she caught his eyes, so he couldn't hide from her. "Is that really why you brought me out here? So, I wouldn't feel pressured by the council about our work?"

He felt trapped in her gaze. Even though it was a simple question, his heart pounded in his head. "Yes."

She narrowed her eyes, studying him. He wanted to escape, wanted to run away from the inquisitive stare she held. He was the Kazekage of the Sand; a man who fought legions of enemy ninja, his own reincarnated father, faced off with the Akatsuki and managed to rise to his rank, all on his own. He felt comfortable saying he proved himself more than capable, yet when Rin Ito stared at him like that, it felt as if his knees would give out. 

After a moment, she conceded and took a step back. "All right then, why don't you show me around this paradise of yours?"

He let out his held breath in one long exhale, watching her walk through the side door, a small flash of guilt gnawing at his insides. He was hiding something from her, something vastly important, but he couldn't tell her quite yet. Maybe after a while, but in that moment, he just wanted to enjoy what time he had left with her, as limited as it may be.

The unpleasant news could wait until tomorrow. 

Rin stepped out onto the white sand of the oasis waters and inhaled the scent of palm trees. She didn't realize how much she missed the color green until it was stripped from her.

Removing her shoes, she carried them in one hand and wiggled her toes on the edge of lake. The water felt warm and the sand caressed her feet like a cozy blanket. If the rest of the desert was like this, she could maybe find herself enjoying it there. 

Maybe.

Gaara came to the doorway, watching her step into the water and giggle at the fish sucking on her toe. He had them brought in a long time ago, trying to make this place sustainable, in case he ever needed to escape.

Rin held a childlike wonder that called to him. 

She turned back and waved. "Come on! The water feels great!'

He stepped closer to the shoreline. "I'm glad you think so."

Rin tossed her shoes up on the bank and removed her overcoat, wearing a white undershirt, that made Gaara feel like he should look away.

She rolled up her pant legs and turned to him. "Aren't you coming in?"

"I um... I don't think so. You go ahead."

Rin put her hands on her hips, her voice taking on that clinical edge he came to know well. "Gaara, relaxation is equal parts fun as it is focus. Come on, now. Let yourself have a good time."

To his surprise, she completely gave up wading and dove in, head first. It wasn't a very deep lake, probably no more than six feet, but she stayed under the water longer than he liked.

Gaara started to feel uneasy when she didn't automatically pop back up. "Rin?"

Silence. 

He took a step closer to the water and waited there. "Rin!"

Just as he was about to enter, she surfaced about five feet away from where she dove. Waving an arm above her head, she exclaimed. "I touched the bottom! There are little shells down there! How did shells get here when the ocean is leagues away?"

Gaara sighed his relief. "I brought them in, last time I visited the Mist."

She made a motion like she couldn't hear him and he hesitated, looking down at the water.

He wanted to join her, but he hadn't been swimming since Yashamaru took him as a child. What if he didn't remember how?

As if sensing his hesitation, Rin swam back to the shoreline. "Are you coming in?"

His mind flittered through his options. It's not as if he could drown, the sand would save him, but what if he looked foolish? This seemed like the opposite of relaxing to him. 

"When was the last time you had fun? Real, honest fun?" Rin asked, still splashing in the shallows. 

He couldn't remember.

Since he'd become Kazekage, every single day was filled with meetings, documents, inspections, battle plans, but the schedule never allowed "fun" to come into it. 

While he was busy having an existential crisis, Rin stood up from the water and approached him. Her hand came into his and, before he realized what was happening, her wet form was in front of him.

It took every scrap of his discipline not to look down. "What are you doing?"

She smiled her knowing smile, and gently led him into the water. "Just like our sessions at night, I'll be your guide to fun in the day."

When they were to their knees, she reached up to his red overcoat and started unbuttoning it. "Rin..."

"You can't go swimming with all of this on. You'll sink right to the bottom."

"That's not what concerns me."

She shed his coat off and tossed it to the shore. "Then what is? Do you not know how to swim?"

Gaara shrugged. "I think I do."

"Then there's no problem. What? Afraid of taking your shirt off in front of me? I already gave you a massage, remember?"

"It's not that either."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm not sure. I just feel, strange."

Rin tilted her head, her hair wet and sticking to her shoulders. 

After a moment, she closed the gap between them, her voice a low whisper. "Like with everything else in our friendship, what you want me to see, is what I will see. If you don't want to do this, that's fine, but if you can trust me, I won't fail you. Let me show you how good life can be."

He felt hypnotized by her voice. She held such confidence in her words, so much more than anything he knew.

With no knowledge that he was moving; Rin held his hand in hers and slowly led him into the water. It felt great. 

The warm breeze trickled over the lake, making small ripples in the otherwise smooth surface. Tiny fish explored each step they took and nibbled at whatever they unearthed in the sand.

Gaara felt the weightlessness of the lake over take him and before he knew it, he was swimming alongside Rin, with long, graceful strokes. 

She let go of his hand and started to swim circles around him. "There we go. Nice, right?"

"Yes."

With a big kick, she shot away and spun a few times. "I love the water so much."

He struggled to keep up with her, but managed, his muscles remembering how to move with the flow of the water. "Why is that?" 

Rin floated on her back, the afternoon sun beaming down on her form. "It was one of my favorite things from home."

Gaara treaded beside her. "I know very little about the Sound. Even as a Kage, its unforged territory. Tell me about where you grew up."

She glanced in his direction, but remained silent. 

Gaara waited. "It's only fair. You've had a front row seat to my past every night."

Rin sighed and drew her arms up and down like butterfly wings, gliding through the water. "It's not that I mind you knowing, it's just different than most people's childhoods."

He scoffed. "Like I wouldn't understand that?"

She stopped floating and laughed. "You're right. I forgot who I was talking to. This way."

Rin led him over to one of the pillars that held up the walkway and clung onto it. "The strangest thing for people to understand, is that I grew up in a laboratory setting. My family and I, well, we aren't traditional, to say the least. None of us were born the normal way."

Gaara held onto the other side of the pole, memorizing her features, as he processed what she was implying. "You don't have a mother or father?"

"No, I do, just not in the same way you do."

"That doesn't make any sense."

Rin sighed. "I know it doesn't. I have DNA from a male and a female, but I wasn't birthed like a normal baby. In fact, I wasn't a baby at all."

Gaara's mouth dropped. "You were made as an adult?"

"A teenager, but close enough."

"How old are you?"

Rin giggled, her face turning bright red. "Well that's a rude question to ask a lady."

"I'm sorry."

She brushed him off. "Don't be, it's fine. There was a time, before the Great War, that the Sound was interested in producing superior ninja through experimentation. One of the reasons why Orochimaru was considered so taboo, was because of his fascination with playing God and creating stronger, more advanced bodies. I'm one of those experiments."

Gaara remained silent, so she proceeded. "But that's all in the past. Now, the Sound is just as interested in growing like any normal village. Not all of us were born in a lab and we're having regular families popping up right and left. I live with a few of the other lab-born and we have a home, our own jobs, our favorite things to do and eat. We're a family."

The Kazekage considered this, seeing her in a new light. "Is that why you're able to perform the Sleepwalker Jutsu and no one else can?"

"No one, besides my mother, yes."

"And, where is she?"

Rin swished her legs back and forth in the water. "On a research mission right now. Left right around the same time I did, so no one is manning the shop right now."

"What's she like?"

"Pretty much a slightly older version of me. I was made from her DNA, so have her jutsu and my own personality. She's more like a mentor to me."

"Will you age normally?"

"I think so."

Gaara thought for a moment. "Will you die someday?"

"Obviously. I'm not immortal."

He nodded to himself.

Rin studied his face. "Is this all too weird for you? I figured if anyone could understand being born different..."

"No, it's not too weird. It's just interesting. You're interesting."

Rin smiled. "I'll take interesting. Ready to head back in? The sun is setting."

Gaara looked up at the sky and sighed. "Yes, I suppose it is."

She curled around the post and closed the distance between them. "I want you to know, you handled that really well. It's a lot to take in and I appreciate your calmness about it. It feels nice to share with a friend."

He was just about to comment, when she placed her hand on his shoulder and brought her lips to his cheek. The sensation spread through him like electricity, jolting up and down his limbs and making his fingertips feel tingly. He raised a hand to his cheek and brushed it where her kiss had been. "Interesting." 

Rin kicked off the pole and started swimming back to shore. He followed, trying to regain his voice. "You didn't explain why you like water so much."

She turned over and swam on her back. "Oh, right. So, there's this river outside my home. It's not all that fast moving and it stretches from one end of the village, all the way to the other side. I used to practice my jutsu all night, but then be exhausted for days afterwards. It's difficult to walk into the mind of others, your chakra control has to be superior at all times. In the beginning, whenever I so much as passed one of my clients, I'd have flashes of their past assaulting me, no matter where I was."

Gaara stopped stroking and stared at her. "You could read minds?"

She laughed and splashed him with her foot. "No, silly, no one can do that just by passing someone. It was my own chakra fighting with theirs. When I mind-meld with someone, a little piece of myself stays with them. It was scary and noisy all the time. Then, I found the river was the only quiet place in the entire village. I'd dive deep down in the water and float away in the silence."

He thought about what she said and the image of a younger Rin escaping into the river every night, made his heart ache. He knew a little about hiding away from his village, as well.

When they made it to the shoreline, Rin rose out of the water, her white shirt tight and see-through around her. Gaara remained in the shallows, transfixed on how the now setting sun casted orange on her feminine frame, like firelight. 

She stretched her arms above her head and smiled at him. "Ready to go inside and start our session?"

"Yes."

She bent down and retrieved her overcoat. "Another good thing about the water, is it wears you out when you've been swimming a while. I think we'll have a very successful casting. Hope you aren't too tired for me?"

Gaara swallowed, trying hard not to stare at the way she moved. "Never."


	11. Creatures of the Night

The evening passed like any other and yet, the Kazekage found himself on pins and needles.

This was what he wanted; he invited her out to his oasis, made sure they wouldn't be interrupted, except for the necessary evil of his brother guarding the perimeter. 

He'd spent the last two nights with Rin walking around in his mind, seeing his most personal thoughts, so why did it feel like this was the first time he'd really been alone with her?

She'd changed out of the wet undershirt, much to his relief and slight disappointment, into a simple sheath dress. Her wet hair was tamed into a loose braid, that twisted around her shoulder and she absently played with it, while she examined one of many bookcases lining the walls. 

"You have an impressive collection."

Her sudden comment made him jump, nearly knocking the food platter from his hands. He set down the assortment of meats and cheeses on the table and watched her scan the titles. "I read a lot. Not much else to do when you can't sleep."

She pulled out a blue book with a white title. "Passage to the Land of Snow."

He poured them both a cup of tea. "Have you ever been?"

Rin shook her head, flipping through the pages. "No, but I've always wanted to go. It sounds so exciting."

"I've only been the once. It wasn't like anything I'd experienced before. Their technology seems out of our world."

She smiled at him and put the book back in its place. Rin wasn't going to comment on the fact that they were not only alphabetized, but color-coordinated, as well. She wanted to laugh, but decided against it and continued her sweep of the titles. "Complete History of the Leaf: The Will of Fire. Imports and Exports of the Mist. Wars, Battles and Elusive Peace Times: Stone Village."

He finished setting the table and waited for her to join him. "Something wrong?"

She stopped her scan. "Not at all. I'm just surprised at all the technical volumes. Doesn't seem like easy reading."

Rin walked over to her seat and tried not to feel awkward when he pulled it out for her. She couldn't think of a time anyone pulled out a chair for her. 

Gaara set himself across the table and picked up his cup of tea. "When I knew I wanted to be Kazekage, I made my mind up to be different than my father."

Rin took a few pieces of the spread and set them on her plate. "Different how?"

He thought for a moment. "I know you're aware of the Sand's reputation. I didn't want to continue our reign of mistrust and hostility. I wanted to understand my fellow nations better. I've learned recently, that friendship is a powerful thing."

She smiled at him, nibbling on a piece of herb-infused bread. "Gaara, you're amazing."

"What?"

Her eyes caught and held him. "I admire your dedication to change. Times are peaceful now and you're an integral part of that. I really mean it, I respect you so much."

He didn't want to show how much those words meant to him. Something inside said she was just being kind, the way she always was, but it felt good to hear. 

Rin chuckled into her hand, bringing up his attention. Gaara scanned her face. "What's funny? Did I say something weird again?"

She shook her head. "No, I was just remembering something."

"What is it?"

She grabbed her cup of tea and held it between her hands. "Do you know, I actually saw you once, before I came to the Sand Village?"

Gaara's mind raced, trying and failing to come up with any time he could have come across anyone like Rin. She had to be mistaken, he would've remembered her. "When?"

She smiled into the dark liquid, the candles surrounding the table illuminating her face in their gentle glow. "At the War of the Five Nations. You spoke to the troops from that high platform. I was there. Not fighting, but as a medic. I heard your rallying speech loud and clear."

Gaara felt as if he could crawl under the table and die. How embarrassing. 

He wasn't ashamed of his leadership or his call to join the nations, but at how nervous he'd been during it. Even if his voice sounded strong and commanding, he remembered feeling so young and out of place there. "Oh, that's... unfortunate."

"Unfortunate?"

"I wish you could've met me under... different circumstances."

Rin placed her hand on his, the warmth from holding her tea, infusing into his cold skin. "I thought you were amazing! It was one of the most thrilling days of my life."

"I was nervous."

"So what? Nervous or not, you brought the nations together to save your friend. We all stood as one for the first time in history. You were such an important part of that."

"You're very kind, Rin."

She scoffed. "Kindness has nothing to do with it. In my eyes, you're so much more than a young man trying to play at Kazekage. You're a hero."

Gaara's breath seized in his chest. He gazed at Rin, who held such fire in her eyes. When she looked at him like that, it felt like he could do anything, be anything. He'd been called a lot of things in his time, but a hero certainly wasn't one of them. 

She caught herself and cleared her throat. "Sorry, I sound like a raving fan girl. That was improper, huh?"

Her hand started to retract, but he grabbed it, surprising them both. "No."

"No?"

He shook his head and smiled softly. "It wasn't improper at all. Thank you, Rin. The knowledge that you think so highly of me, means a lot. More than you know." 

Her eyes turned to their hands, still joined and felt a blush rising to her cheeks. This wasn't the first time she held Gaara's hand, in fact, she spent most nights holding it when she was casting, but this felt new. 

She withdrew from his grasp and grabbed another piece of bread, nibbling on it so she had something to do with her mouth, other than say something stupid. 

They didn't say anything for a while, neither certain on how to break the awkward silence.

Rin heard a noise and rose from the table, moving towards the window. "What's that sound?"

Gaara cleared his throat. "What sound?"

She listened hard. "That chirping noise."

He stood to stand beside her and closed his eyes to listen. "Those are crickets. Surely, you have crickets in the Sound?"

Her face broke out into the smile he loved seeing. "No! It's too cold! Come on, let's go outside to listen better!"

Rin tore out of the house and the chirping stopped. She moved from one side of the walkway to the other and turned back to Gaara, like he tricked her. "What happened?"

He smiled. "You have to stay still. They won't chirp if they think a predator is nearby."

"Oh."

Gaara came up beside her.

She looked around, waiting for the noise to start up again. When it didn't, she whispered. "When?"

"Shh."

Rin bit her lip, trying to stay quiet. While she considered herself a creature of the night, most of her time was spent inside someone's mind, not actually enjoying what went on outside of it.

When the chorus of chirping started up again, she turned to smile at Gaara.

_"Her face is so cute."_

__

The voice in his head caught him off guard, since when did he think she was cute? Fascinating, certainly, talented and even a little scary, definitely, but cute?

He wanted to show her more. "You think crickets are interesting? I have something else you'll like." 

Rin nearly jumped, when he took her hand. She looked up at his face with an inquisitive expression.

He smiled. "You aren't the only one who can guide, you know?"

She laughed, as he led her to the other side of the house, away from the water.

There was a backyard, complete with a vegetable garden and a line of palm trees, creating a natural barrier around them. Gaara stood behind her and placed his hands over her eyes. His mouth came to her ear, voice low and soft. "Trust me."

Rin felt a pulsing in her lower stomach. Something about letting herself be the one to be guided and led along a journey, felt exciting. 

She let him take her to the middle of the yard, the grass soft on her bare feet.

His whisper found her again. "Ready?"

"Mm hmm."

"Take a look." He removed his hands and she opened her eyes to something spectacular.

All around her, tiny spots of lights rose and fell on the warm breeze, lighting up the darkness with their dancing. Rin clasped her hands to her heart. "What are they?"

Gaara smiled. "Fireflies. You can't see them in the desert, but here, with some water and some trees to make their home, they thrive in the heat. Do you like them?"

Rin turned and threw her arms around his neck, holding her body to his. "They're the most beautiful thing, I've ever seen!"

He froze under her sudden closeness, unsure of how to proceed, but certain he didn't want her to let go. "I'm glad you like them."

"Like them? I love them! Thank you for showing me!" She shot away, ran to a large grouping of fireflies and spun around, trying to see them all at once. 

Gaara watched her hold out her hand and a single light descended to rest on her open fingers. Her smile was something out of a fairytale. She was a beautiful princess; kind, loving and full of life. He wanted to protect that smile, always.

A sudden dark thought came to his mind. "If she's the princess, then what am I? Certainly not a prince."

The memory of his twisted form tossing her around his mind, the thoughts he had of wanting to harm her, destroy her before she could get closer to him, made his stomach twist. 

He watched her release the firefly back to the night sky and felt a despair take him. "I'm the monster."


	12. All You Need

Rin watched the tiny spots of light rise into the sky, like sparks from an open flame. How such beautiful things could exist all the way out here, was beyond her. She closed her eyes and listened to the melody of crickets, felt the soft grass beneath her bare feet, breathed deep the scent of salt and night breezes.

These were the moments she held onto when life seemed to crumble around her; precious, fleeting moments of happiness.

This moment was given as a gift and she was grateful. She turned to thank the one who thought of it and found him looking down. He was always looking down. 

Rin watched how the fireflies floated around him, as if they too, were drawn to his presence. One brave little light dared to land on his shoulder and remained, blinking on and off. In an odd way, it seemed to belong there, as if his shoulders were the safest place in all the world. 

She stepped closer to him and raised her finger for the firefly to release its perch. "You're popular with creatures of the night, aren't you?"

Gaara looked up, surprised she was in front of him. "I suppose so."

"What's wrong? You seemed fine a minute ago and you've changed."

The Kazekage stayed still, until the bug left him and was safely in Rin's grasp.

"I have a lot on my mind."

She raised her hands to the dark sky and released the firefly to join its brothers. Afterwards, she slipped her arm into Gaara's, as easily as if it were out of place before. "Well, I think that's my cue. Let's go inside."

"Are you sure? We can stay out here as long as you like."

She shook her head and led him through the door. "I have a job to do, my mission to complete and you need a good night's sleep, for once. This was a happy break, though. Thank you for letting me experience it."

He didn't say much, but allowed her to take him where ever she wanted. Gaara had the feeling that would be the case for as long as he knew her. 

They walked past the discarded table and shelves of books, away from the Ember Roses she loved so much and into the bedroom, where Kankuro left her bag. 

Rin scanned the room, judging with a critical eye, if it were set up for her purposes. She found a large bed, with soft, cotton sheets and plush pillows. It held a few more house plants in the corners, but not too many to be crowded.

She found no unnecessary distractions and mentally signed off on it. "All right, go ahead and lay down."

He complied, resting on the unfamiliar bed. 

While he sometimes used the Oasis as a retreat, he rarely stayed there. If he were to walk lonely hallways all night, they might as well be around his people, in case he was needed. 

Rin set to work, lighting candles around the bedroom, spreading out her supplies and making herself at home. He wondered if there was a place she couldn't make feel like her own? He doubted it.

"Would you care for the jasmine, again?"

He nodded. "Yes, please."

She removed her dragon incense holder and placed it carefully on the dresser. The small trail of smoke rose through the room, filling it with its sweet scent.

Rin picked up her blue glass bottle and red ribbon, who felt like old friends in her hands. "Massage tonight?"

The question rattled around in Gaara's mind, in an unsettling need. He wanted her hands on him again, but sincerely doubted it would be the relaxing endeavor she was hoping.

He didn't feel drowsy that night, he felt alive. 

The combined images of her rising out of the clear waters, sitting at the table saying she respected him, her lovely face when it lit up as bright as the fireflies, none of these things made him feel relaxed; they made him feel excited, electric. 

"No, I think I'm fine."

She seemed surprised by that, but continued to set up, humming to herself. 

He was acting like an idiot and he knew it. If Temari were there, she would scold him, for sure. Rin Ito was a professional, all of his foolish thoughts were his own. It wasn't fair to try and read something from her, that clearly wasn't there. That determination made his heart ache. 

Rin sat beside him on the bed, instead of across where she usually was. She propped her back on the headboard and smiled at him. "I'm ready, if you are?"

"Ready for what, exactly?"

She reached a hand to touch his and was pleased when he didn't pull away. "I have a confession to make."

_"A confession?!" He thought to himself, heart pounding._

She squeezed his hand gently. "I've had a lot of fun at this paradise of yours. It was a wonderful change of scenery and I'm so glad you thought of it. While, I was enjoying myself, I haven't been in full-fun mode for no reason."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been studying you this entire time."

"That's unnerving."

She laughed, her eyes lighting up at his response. "I'm here on a job, Gaara. I'm always trying to see what changes around my clients. What I can do to make them feel more at home or relaxed."

"Right, your mission. The whole reason I asked for you in the first place."

"Correct. I've discovered something very interesting about you, Lord Kazekage."

His heart thundered in his chest at her words. "And that is?"

Her fingers brushed along his hand. "You have a craving for touch. I'd venture to say, it's your greatest desire in this world."

_He nodded, thinking to himself. "So, that's why she's crossed the physical barrier between us. She was testing me this entire time to see if I would push her away and I didn't. It makes perfect sense."_

"I see."

Rin's sharp eyes caught the expression on his face. "What's this now? My revelation seems to make you sad."

Gaara tried to shake his head and act casual. "No, not at all. That's very interesting. It's probably because I'm not used to a lot of touching in my life. It wasn't a high priority to give a living weapon affection. Well done figuring it out. I'm glad your test worked."

Her breath caught in her throat. She made him sad because he thought it was an all an act. 

Rin scooted closer to him. "Oh, oh I see. I'm sorry, Gaara, I think I've misled you."

"Misled me?"

She smiled, her heart pounding at his expression. "I wasn't pretending today at all. Just because I notice changes in you, doesn't mean I'm not engaged, as well." 

Her hand trailed up his arm and rested on his face, turning it to look at her. "I had a wonderful time today, with you."

He studied her face; the way her eyes held him, the tender feeling of her hand caressing him, it felt different than anything he'd known in his life.

His eyes trailed down to the perfect rose-colored lips which called to him. He wanted to know if they were as sweet as everything else about her? But before he could move to find out, Rin pulled him closer, wrapping her arm around the back of his neck and holding him to her.

He stayed frozen to his spot, unsure of what to do next. 

Rin waited for him to figure it out. She'd never met someone who didn't even understand a hug before. 

She stayed holding him there, feeling all his muscles tense and then, suddenly release, as his arms came around her back and held her to him. "Rin...I."

"Shh."

His chest rose and fell, feelings coursing through him with each heartbeat. This was new, this was a new emotion and he didn't know what to do with it.

Had it really been so long since he was hugged like this? When was the last time? Could he even remember? Rin gave him a quick one outside, but not like this. Nothing like this. 

His forehead rested against her shoulder and he allowed himself to cling to her, hiding from the world, from its cruelties. Feeling like he'd somehow done something to deserve them.

She winced at how strong he was, but didn't let him know. Sometimes, answers were so incredibly simple, they brushed right past her. 

Gaara of the Sand, seemed like such a terrifying case; legendary weapon, highborn Kazekage, known all throughout the world, for having one of the most terrifying demons inside of him, but at the end of the day, he just needed to lose himself in someone else. 

She felt like an idiot for not knowing it sooner. 

They stayed like that for a long time, Gaara treasuring her warmth, clinging to her strength and Rin trying not to react from his response to her affection.

It made her angry to think of the little boy she saw, never having this, never having someone take the time to make him feel protected or cared for. He didn't deserve any of the hardships he'd endured. 

If there was anything they were to accomplish from her time in the Sand, she would make him know that. Nothing he did warranted the kind of cruelty he'd been through. His great sin was being born into the Kazekage's family, nothing more.

After a moment, she gently pulled back from his embrace and laid down on her back. Taking hold of his shoulders, she brought him with her, so that his head was resting on her chest, over her heart. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him exhale in one long breath.

Rin didn't need any of the fancy oils or herbs she brought. Nor did she require her vast studies in energy and muscle manipulation. All he needed, was for her to love him and that was something she could do extremely well. 

Her fingers brushed through his red hair, smoothing down the fly-aways and she placed her other arm across his shoulders, so he could feel her protective grasp. 

Gaara laid draped across her, wrapping his arms under her back and looking across the room, in a trance-like state. Repressed memories flooded through his mind, that never seemed at peace. He felt like he was floating above his body, not quite in the room. 

Whatever Rin did to him, he wasn't prepared for it.

She'd already awakened moments in his psyche that he wished weren't there, but this was something different.

In this moment, she called to a part of him, he thought long dead. He cried it out when his uncle was sent to kill him at the tender age of six and never gained it back. Even though his life was getting better and his village finally started to see him as one of them and not the monster he was led to believe, he wasn't healed. With Shukaku gone, everyone just assumed he would recover and left him at that.

No one stopped to think of the ramifications. 

He wasn't sure how to feel; angry? Hurt? Grateful? What was he supposed to do? What did they expect him to do?

A sound caught his ear, pulling him down deeper into her. The steady beating of her heart was a metronome, drawing his eyes closed, drifting him away with its rhythm. 

She ran her fingers through his hair, brushing divine tingles down his back and though it was so soft, he could barely hear it, her voice resonated through her chest; sweet and warm. The tender melody sank into the edges of his mind, lulling him with an expert grace.

She didn't bother wrapping her hand with his in the red ribbon, they were beyond that now. 

Her fingers slid down his forehead and trailed along his closed eyes, massaging the tension that always remained there. The dark circles provided the perfect path for her gentle touch and he moaned softly. 

A warmth rose up within him, starting from his feet and trailing up to his head, which fell heavily into her soft chest. He was so relaxed; he barely comprehended her whisper. "Somnam Jutsu."

Her deepest journey into his mind, had only just begun.


	13. Into the Void

Rin was drifting, falling deeper than she ever had before. It wasn't the same dark walls or the feeling of being crushed by his subconscious.

Something in Gaara opened to her; a secret part he may not have been aware of himself. She focused her chakra, trying to gain control of whether she was moving forward or backwards, up or down.

Before her, a vast emptiness awaited and in that vastness, a small light gave her direction. 

Her feet finally settled, moving towards it like a beacon. His mind was quiet, uncommonly so, it unnerved her with its silence. 

"Where am I?" She wondered out loud, her voice coming out muffled.

Whatever level she stumbled upon; it wasn't anything she'd come across before. There was no guide, child or monster, to meet her. It didn't feel confined or frightening, it almost felt like for once, even his subconscious wasn't aware of her.

She'd managed to slip through, undetected; a feat she'd never achieved in any of her clients. The light, that was once a pinprick in the night sky of his mind, grew as she neared it. Her fingers rose to touch it, but hesitated. "What if he's not ready for me to go this far?"

The thought of turning around, of breaking her jutsu to rouse him, called to her. This felt like more than mere relaxation, he felt broken in some way, like his mind had checked out. 

Was her display of affection so overwhelming, that he honestly had no way to cope with it? Was his trauma that intense?

Her fingers wavered with the circulating thoughts of doubt. She didn't want to harm Gaara, but she also doubted an opportunity to wander a free mind like this, would surface again in her lifetime. 

With a resolved breath, she placed one finger on the small spot of light and stepped through it. The brilliant radiance blinded her momentarily, slamming her eyes shut. "Ouch."

After a moment, she managed to pry her eyes open and adjust them to the white room she'd stumbled upon. Everywhere around her was blank; a vast, empty space that stretched on as far as she could see and in the center of it, was Gaara.

Not in his child or teenage form, but he himself as she'd come to know him. He stood in his familiar red jacket, a spot of blood on a snowy canvas, his arms crossed, facing away from her. 

Rin dared a step forward. "Gaara?"

He didn't acknowledge her. 

She moved slow and careful, uncertain of how hard she should step or loud she should speak. The echoing of the room made her whisper. "Gaara, where are we?" 

He was staring into the void, his face a blank expression. She crept closer to look at his stone features, worrying her bottom lip. 

Had she really broken him? Maybe such a drastic display of closeness was too much for his mind to handle at such an early stage? Rin raised her hand to wave in front of his face. No change.

Suddenly, a small hand came into hers and she nearly jumped out of her skin. "What?!" 

Looking down, she saw her original guide holding her tight. "Rin, I have something to show you. I remember what it was now."

She caught her breath, glancing back to the still frame that was adult Gaara.

How was he able to project two images of himself like this? His intelligence was something to be admired.

"Okay, where is it?"

Tiny Gaara led her forward, further down the white hallway. His voice was a whisper. "It's not far."

Her steps echoed in the empty room, each seeming too loud against the silence. She felt unnerved, out of place in his mind.

While this was fascinating for her practice, Rin worried what this level of consciousness meant for both of them.

Was this a good thing? Had she done real damage to his psyche without realizing it? Maybe she was too cocky with her treatment?

"We need to move, Rin."

"Okay. Where is it, we're going, exactly?"

Tiny Gaara didn't look back at her. "To where it started. The beginning of it all."

Suddenly, the blank walls shifted, their once empty space flittering with pictures and Rin finally realized where she was. "I'm at the core. These are all his memories. Not just what he chooses to let me see, but all of them, unfiltered."

Before her played out every important part of Gaara's life, starting from the present and working backwards, playing in reverse as she walked deeper in. 

She saw the day they'd spent together and tried not to focus on herself too much. His feelings on her should be private to him, but she couldn't resist one small peek.

The image of her standing in the backyard, with a firefly in her hand, made her smile. 

"If she's the princess, I'm the monster." His voice startled her and she looked down to her tiny guide. "What did you just say?"

He glanced at the memory and then back at her. "You're a beautiful princess. I'm not a prince, I'm the monster in the story. Princesses don't fall in love with monsters."

Rin started to protest, but the child wouldn't hear of it and pulled her forward. She made a mental note to talk to him about that ridiculous thought later. 

As they journeyed on, she saw other memories in reverse; giving him his first massage, the first time they mind-melded, standing up to the council with her hands on her hips.

Rin winced at how disheveled she looked, but appreciated the fire he saw in her eyes. 

After that, she saw other important memories; Gaara's speech at the Great War, his fight with Sasuke Uchiha at the Kage Summit, his rise to Kazekage. 

Her lips curved into a proud smile. He'd done so much in his young life. "Well done, Gaara."

The child squeezed her hand in acknowledgement. "It's going to get darker. Stay close to me. He's nearby."

"Who?"

In response to her question, a growl vibrated the walls of memory. The pictures transformed from his accomplishments, to his fears and failures. The creature she'd seen before flooded everything, its dripping fangs smiling at the chaos in its wake. 

She saw several ninja she'd never met, thrown against trees, their bodies encapsulated in sand and crushed into bloody remains. Rivers of gore and discarded bodies took his mind; their pitching screams, an echoing cacophony against the once peaceful silence. Over and over, for years and years, Gaara lived in a world of such intense hatred. Assassins followed his every move, only to find themselves brought to oblivion by his wrath.

How he could come from the life he'd known, to the man she met, was truly incredible. 

Amongst all of this, the legendary Naruto popped up sporadically. She'd seen his face before, but it was fading the further they went in. 

"Are we going to before you met Naruto? Before you had friends?"

"Yes. We're almost there."

She was about to ask more questions, when the creature she'd faced off with came into view. Its repulsive frame hunched over in the darkness, watching her pass with the same sickly grin, that tormented her the night before. 

Rin felt like she should pull the child close to herself, a rush of maternal instinct flooding her, but he just patted her hand. "Don't worry. I won't let him hurt you again. I know you're good."

There was a moment of uncertainty, when it watched them walk by, the eyes of a predator on her back, but Rin trusted her guide; she could see the end coming in sight. The walls of memory flashed the faces of his siblings, much younger than when she'd met them.

They were all playing in the sand, Gaara making shapes of various food items, much to the delight of Kankuro, who challenged him with requests. 

It seemed like a nice memory, until she saw the shadow of the man who called it to end. 

"Is that your father?"

Child Gaara hesitated. "Yes."

Rin took note of the man. There was a resemblance between them, but his eyes held so much more malevolence than Gaara's. How someone could look at their child that way? 

"Is he what you wanted to show me?"

"No. I forgave him a while ago. He can't hurt me anymore."

Rin's jaw dropped. "You did? How did you manage that?"

Her guide turned and looked at her. "I'm the Kazekage now. I understand him, therefore, I love him."

Such potent words sounded strange in a child's voice, but Rin felt moved by them. She wasn't sure if she could find it in her heart to forgive someone like that. 

"We're here."

Rin drifted out of her thoughts to focus on where "here" was.

Before her stood something out of a nightmare. A giant cage, much too large for anything that walked the Earth, waited with its door wide open. 

She took a step forward, trying to understand the scope of what she was seeing. "What is this?"

Child Gaara let go of her hand and walked into the cage. He turned around to look at her. "It's where we started."

Another figure joined him, the half-mutated version they passed earlier, stood to the right of the child, nearly dwarfing him in his ghastly stature. "This is where everything began."

Rin's hand came to her mouth, marveling at what she was seeing.

Then, the soft, comforting voice she'd come to know as her friend, whispered in her ear. "And no matter what I do, what amends I make, I can't escape it."


	14. Fragmented Reality

"No matter what I do, what amends I make, I can't escape it." The statement echoed in her mind, as the last Gaara took his place in the cage, beside his counterparts. They stood, a living replica of his progression from frightened child, to monster, to man. Each stage valuable, each important in his story. 

Rin grasped her hand to her chest, trying to take in what his mind what showing her.

A giant cage, clearly not designed for anything of this world and the three facets of his life contained within. What was she missing?

"If this is where you began, why are you still here?"

The three spoke in unison. "Which one of us are you talking to?"

_He's able to split his consciousness into three separate entities? Fascinating._

A small part of Rin begged to let herself geek out over the discovery of a being with such mental capabilities, but she stilled. "All right, we'll try it this way."

She cleared her throat, feeling as if she were in some kind of fairytale riddle. "To the Child; take a look around you. How does the cage make you feel?"

He glanced around the vast space, his eyes taking in the bars that were bigger than him. "Confused."

"Okay. To the monster: same question."

He snarled. "I don't have to tell you anything."

The Adult glared. "Be respectful. You will speak when spoken to."

He bared his teeth. "But she didn't speak to me. That's not who I am here."

Rin considered those words. If he didn't represent the monster inside of him, who was he? It was hard to see past the disfigurement of change before her; the snarling teeth, the low growl, the challenging look of authority in his eyes...

The thought dawned on her like a flash of lighting. "Of course, you're right. You aren't his monster at all, are you? Not his real monster, that is. I know who you are." 

She dug in her heels, unwilling to budge from her stance. "You're his adolescence, aren't you? You're taking on the form of a monster because that's how it feels." 

He didn't say anything and she smiled, feeling very pleased with herself. "Sulking and not answering my obviously correct prediction? Sounds like an adolescent if I've ever seen one."

The mutated face looked away from her. "You feel clever, don't you?"

"A bit."

She glanced around the cage. "To the Adolescent: how does this cage make you feel?"

He crossed his arms, one much larger than the other. "Indifferent."

_Interesting answer._

Her eyes drifted to the final being, the Adult face she'd come to know so well. Her voice softened. "To the Adult: how does this cage make you feel?"

He turned around, so he could stare into the vastness behind him and remained quiet.

Rin wondered if he were going to answer her question, when his voice came out so soft, she nearly missed it. "Lonely."

She focused on the word. Lonely? Why would the empty cage feel lonely? Her feet started to move, pacing back and forth, as she often did when she was on the verge of a breakthrough.

The cage made the Child feel confused; the Adolescent, indifferent and the Adult, lonely. What did it mean?

Rin's hand came to her chin and she nibbled on her thumbnail, while she pondered.

Confused, indifferent, lonely. Confused, indifferent, lonely. Confuse...

Her eyes turned to the Child, who was watching her pace. 

The idea suddenly came to her and she bent down to kneel in front of him. "Gaara, was there something in this cage when you were a child?"

"Yes."

"And how did that thing make you feel?"

The Child waved her closer, so he could whisper in her ear. "Afraid."

She nodded and pulled back. "So, you were afraid as a child, but you're confused right now?"

"Yes."

Her knees popped, as she came to standing height and walked to the mutated teenager.

He snarled at her approach and she rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, I know you don't like me. Not relevant right now. Listen; was there something in this cage when you were an adolescent?"

His one good eye studied her face. "Yes."

"And what did that thing make YOU feel?"

A low growl came from deep within, his rancid breath choking the air around her. "Angry."

Her breathing picked up, excitement filling her lungs, despite the rotting smell. "So, you were angry as the Adolescent to the thing in the cage, but you're indifferent, now?"

"I guess."

Her feet nearly skipped, as she came to the last stage; the adult who was still looking into the empty cage. "Adult: is there something in this cage for you?"

He waited for a moment, as if processing what she asked. "No."

Rin gripped her hands to her heart, trying to hold in her anticipation. "And how... does that make you feel?"

A single tear came down his face. "Lonely."

She wanted to jump for joy, throw her hand into the air, maybe even give a "Yes!" for her work, but the look on his face kept her feet on the ground. 

Instead, Rin laced her hand with Gaara's, her other raising up to his cheek, brushing away the solitary tear that lingered there. She turned his face to look at her. "I figured it out, Gaara. I know why you can't sleep. Why there's a noise that keeps you awake all night."

He studied her. "What's the noise?"

She brought his forehead down to rest against hers. "Silence."

"I don't understand."

Now it was her turn to want to cry. "You miss Shukaku."

Gaara pulled away from her, nearly tripping backwards, as he did. "That's not right. It can't be."

Rin nodded. "It is."

"No. That's not true. I don't miss him...it. I don't miss it. That's crazy."

"You do."

Now it was Gaara's turn to pace. "Why would I miss the monster that tortured and kept me from living a normal life? I could have had so much. A family that loved me, a village that accepted me as the honored Kazekage's son. I could have laughed and played and learned and..."

His eyes turned to her. "Loved. I could have done all those things, but Shukaku kept me from them. Why, Rin? Why do you think I miss the monster inside of me?" 

She caught his hands and held him steady, her voice calm. "Because he was always there. You've felt alone your entire life, kept away from everyone because of your curse, when in reality, you've never been alone a day in your life. Shukaku was with you always. You miss having another presence with you."

"Yes, but, it's wrong. I'm wrong to miss him. Why would I miss my tormentor? I'm broken. I'm wrong. I'm sick. I'm..."

Rin shushed him, her hands trailing up to hold his face. "No, Gaara. No." 

His eyes searched hers, tears spilling down his face.

She pulled him close, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, her voice a steady whisper. "It's not wrong to miss what you always knew. It doesn't make you broken or sick, it makes you human."

"But I..."

"Shukaku may have been your darkness, but that doesn't make him your future. You don't have to leave your memories of him behind. It's okay to acknowledge your past. It's all right to not be fully healed from it."

"But the village..."

Rin shook her head and pulled back, so she could see his face. She brushed away the flow of tears and turned his chin to look her in the eyes. "The village will be what it will be. You are their Kazekage; body, mind and soul. Part of that soul was fused with the One-Tail and part of it always will be, for as long as you wish it. Acknowledge you who are and where you came from, and you will stand stronger, surer of yourself. Know that you are whole, even if he's not there anymore. You are Gaara of the Sand and no one will take that from you."

She stood on her tip toes to kiss his cheek, her voice a whisper. "Not even you."

Gaara focused on what she was saying, his mind fluctuating around them in waves.

The jutsu was nearly complete. 

Rin turned in time to see the Child come to Gaara and hug his waist. "I'm ready to go now."

"Yes?"

The Child nodded and looked to Rin. "Stay close to us, okay?"

"I will."

The Adolescent brushed past her without a word. His mutated frame came behind the Adult and sneered in her direction.

Rin maintained his glare, but cracked a smile, when he said. "You're all right, I guess."

"Not so sure about you, still."

"That's fair."

The Adolescent rested his head on Gaara's back, while the Child gripped tighter to his waist.

In a flash of light, they melted together into one soul; broken pieces finally made whole.

The now complete man looked to her with an expression she'd never seen on his face before. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into his embrace. "Thank you, Rin. Thank you."

"Gaara."

As easily as she slipped into his mind, she slipped out of it. Rin's eyes opened to the patched ceiling of the Oasis, studying its grooves. 

The crickets still chirped outside, quieter than before. She could feel the dawn coming, but the world remained dark around them. The candles nearly burned to the middle, casting small shadows across the silent room. She inhaled the scent of her jasmine incense, which lingered on the warm breeze. 

Everything was quiet.

Rin looked down at the figure still curled around her, head pressed gently to her chest. She noticed his closed eyes, listened to his even breathing and smiled, as she kissed his brow, treasuring the way it rested above her heart.

"Goodnight Gaara."


	15. The Dawn

The sun rose, as it did every day; its warm light spilling out on the once frozen desert.

All around, cold, sleeping things came back to life. The buds on the cacti bloomed, stretching their petals out from their nightly slumber. Creatures who rested in the darkness, opened their eyes and scurried through the warming sand. 

A lizard sunned itself on a flat rock, the inner-workings of its cold body, loosening with the dawn. 

With the sun came life and with life, came change. 

Everything stirred and roused with the new dawn, everything except the Kazekage of the Sand, who stayed pleasantly entranced in his slumber. 

Rin stared out the window at the rising sun, memorizing the way it transformed the sky. Hues of pink, orange and purple, layered the dawn like paint from an artist's brush.

There were so many things she hated about the desert, but this kaleidoscope of color, was something she'd never be able to see anywhere else.

She treasured it. 

Her eyes shifted from the spectacle of nature outside, to the equally impressive marvel before her.

Gaara hadn't moved an inch all night. He stayed draped across the bed, his head nestled on her chest, listening to the steady beating of her heart. His arms remained wrapped around her body, as if she were the only thing keeping him tied to this world. 

She smiled when he mumbled in his sleep, wondering if that busy mind of his would ever calm? What was he dreaming now? Did he even understand what a dream was? 

Rin's arms lost feeling long ago, but she didn't dare move. There was no amount of money or jewels, any of the villages could pay, to get her to wake him up. She didn't care if he slept for three days straight, she wasn't going to interrupt him. 

Besides...

She brushed her fingers through his hair, loving the way he sighed at her gentle touch.

Rin smiled and pulled him closer to herself. 

Being in his arms, wasn't the worst thing in her life. 

Thoughts of her previous clients flittered through her mind. She'd seen everyone from children to elderly, each special in their case.

She thought of the little miller boy and how he feared the reoccurring nightmare of dogs chasing him. 

All he needed, was for her to show him how to tame the beasts inside his imagination and also figure out, that he was really afraid his friends were talking about him behind his back, in the waking world. 

That assignment took one night. 

She thought of the woman who lost her baby and spent her nights walking the village, looking for a child, who would never return.

Sleepwalking was always tricky, but manageable with her jutsu and Rin found a way to turn the woman's thoughts away from the grief and into love for her garden and the promise of another child someday. 

Each client held a piece of her heart. She made a business out of solving everyone's problems and gained reward from seeing them thrive afterwards. 

She trailed her finger down the bridge of Gaara's nose, sweeping it around his eyes in gentle circles. His face held a kind of peace that made her heart hurt, in the best way. Nothing was going to hold a candle to how this felt.

Her gaze returned to the open window, breathing deep the scent of the breeze that brought the warm morning to her. 

Suddenly, she heard someone in the house. 

Her eyes shot to the bedroom door and found Kankuro with his hand up, ready to knock. 

Thankfully, he came inside before he hit the frame and her finger shot to her closed lips. "Shh."

His hands came to his mouth, shutting it and freezing at the sight he thought impossible.

Gaara, his little brother, demon of the sand village, curled around a woman.... dead asleep. 

He looked from Rin, to Gaara and back, shaking his head in wonder.

She smiled at him and flicked her head, signaling it was fine for him to get closer, if he wished. 

Even though it felt rude, Kankuro wasn't going to miss this opportunity for anything, he only wished Temari could see it, as well.

His steps were careful, as he tiptoed his way to the bedside, bending down to one knee, studying his brother's sleeping face. 

How strange it was, that he'd never seen such a thing. 

Gaara looked so much younger like this; his features softened and peaceful.

It made him feel stupid and sentimental, but when he heard the faint snoring coming from his brother, Kankuro felt his eyes tear up a bit.

He deserved this, after so much, Gaara deserved to find a moment of serenity in another person. 

His hand came to Rin's, which was laying at her side.

With a gentle squeeze, they looked to each other and his eyes said everything he needed to say. 

Thank you. 

Rin nodded to him.

The captain rose from his crouch and left outside to finish his watch, brushing a hand over his eyes as he left. 

The sun's rays melted through the window, their warm fingers reaching up the bed and resting on the Kazekage's sleeping face.

It felt good. 

Gaara felt so warm. He wanted to stretch out in the sun like a cat, taking in its light at his leisure.

He must have a billion things to do today, but they seemed out of the question. All that mattered, was this happy, peaceful feeling circulating through his veins. 

He inhaled deeply, smelling the lazy breeze drifting through the window and a different scent, one that didn't usually greet him in the morning. It smelt like jasmine. 

Rin.

His eyes fluttered open, not finding his bedroom at the village, but the Oasis he rarely visited.

He scanned the room, confused for a moment, a lulling feeling begging to drag him back into oblivion, when he focused on the scent again. 

All at once, the previous night returned to him and he jolted awake, sitting up like a curled spring. 

"Well, good morning, Lord Kazekage."

The voice both surprised and enthralled him.

Gaara turned his attention to the woman who laid on her back, smiling at him with a knowing grin. 

"Rin."

"Hm?"

He stared at his hands, numb from being curled under her all night, and looked outside to the now fully risen sun. "It's morning."

"My, what an astute observation." She teased. 

Gaara looked from the window, back to her, his eyes welling up. "I did it. I slept through the night."

Rin sat up from her long-held position, feeling all her joints pop with the movement.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling. "You did. Well done, Gaara."

He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. It felt like he could do either and feel the same.

Gaara stared at the woman who gave him this gift.

The sun lit up her face in shades of gold, making her seem like an angel. His attention flickered to the pillow, fully indented to her frame, while everything else was pristine. 

The realization dawned on him. "Did you stay like that all night?"

She looked at the bed. "Yep."

"Why would you do that? That couldn't have been comfortable."

Rin chuckled, shaking her head. "Wild horses couldn't have dragged me away. I wasn't going to risk moving and waking you up."

"You stayed like that... for me?"

"Mm hm."

Gaara felt a rush of heat flow through him. "Rin."

She waited for him to speak, but instead, his hand came to her face, caressing her cheek in his warmth.

His other arm wrapped around the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. The pale green of his eyes engulfed her, as he tipped her chin up, loving the way her hair fell down her shoulders, when he did. 

Rin felt like she should pull away.

She was a professional, she'd just completed her mission. It was inappropriate to have him do this and yet, the way his eyes held her, made her want to melt into the bed. 

"Rin." He whispered again, his voice sending delicious shivers down her spine.

He said her name like it was sacred, like she was precious to him.

She felt her stomach spin, heart pounding like a bird in a cage, as he leaned in. 

His lips brushed the outside of her mouth, teasing the sensitive skin there. 

She closed her eyes and waited for him to take her. 

Suddenly, the door to the bedroom flew open and Kankuro stood there, his eyes wide, chest heaving. "Lord Kazekage!"

The pair shot away from each other like repelled magnets.

Gaara stared at his brother, exasperated. "What is it?!"

The captain dropped to one knee, bowing his head. "There's trouble in the village. The council has called for your immediate return."

Gaara looked to Rin, who sat with her hand on her lips.

Every part of his body wanted to stay where he was, in this happy moment with his angel, but his village came first.

It would always come first. 

He sighed. "I understand. Do we have intel on what the threat is?"

Kankuro turned his gaze to Rin and back to Gaara. "It's the Sound."

Rin stood from the bed. "What?"

"There's been an attack."


	16. The Seed of Hate

Rin stared at him, trying to process the words through her panic. "What do you mean there was an attack? The Sound attacked the Sand? How? Why?"

Kankuro rose from his crouch. "There's no time to explain. We need to rush back to the village. Everyone is waiting for your direction, Gaara."

Her eyes went to the man, who spent the night wrapped around her, who just caressed her face like she was precious to him, and saw something she hadn't since she arrived- someone who wasn't her friend, but the Kazekage, through and through. 

A hardness took his face, his posture sharp and rigid. "I'm going first. Take care of her."

He left them standing there alone. 

Rin tried to keep up, but his blinding speed was something out of legend.

Gaara moved faster than she thought any normal person could, his sand sending him flying over the dunes, like they were nothing. 

It made sense he wouldn't wait for her; his village was more important than her needs, but his transformation worried her.

The cold fire in his eyes sent chills up and down her spine.

Something terrible was going on and she knew she was only getting a fraction of the information. 

Rin looked to Kankuro, whom she knew was slowing down for her, even though he was anxious to get back. "Please, tell me what's happened."

He didn't turn around. "There was an explosion late last night, damaging the south wall. We think this is a retaliation for capturing the spy we found sniffing around yesterday."

"What spy? Who is it?"

There weren't many people in her village.

Ever since the Sound came together to be legitimized, their numbers were barely enough to be considered for the transition. If this person was actually from her home, she'd know them, no question about it. 

"We haven't retrieved his name yet."

Rin's eyebrows drew together. "Then how do you know he's from the Sound?"

Kankuro stayed quiet for a moment. "His headband."

"Anyone could have gotten their hands on a headband. What if it's a setup to make it look like the Sound is involved? Why would we spy on the Sand? We have nothing to gain from it."

He didn't answer any more of her questions, which irked her.

Rin tried to understand why all of this was happening, when a realization dawned on her. If they caught this spy yesterday, there was no way Gaara didn't know about it. 

Her voice came out quiet, but loud enough for the captain to hear. "He brought me to the Oasis, not for our session, but to keep me away, didn't he?"

His silence was all the confirmation she needed. Her heart felt like it would sink down into her stomach. 

~~~

When they reached the village, Gaara already made his way inside, the gates automatically opening for him. 

Rin felt like her legs would collapse from the run, she hadn't moved at top speed in a while. She slowed to a walk and started to make her way inside, when the same gates slammed shut.

"What?"

Her eyes turned to the guards, who were manning the Keep. "Excuse me! I need passage inside, please."

The shorter of the two men, glared at her. "We've been ordered to stop the flow of traffic for anyone outside of our village."

"This is ridiculous. I'm a guest of the Sand. I was just with the Kazekage himself."

They looked at each other, but maintained their stance. "If you were with him, why didn't he escort you in?"

Rin opened her mouth to protest, when Kankuro brought up her rear and waved off the guards. "This one is with me. Open the gates."

"But sir... she's from the Sound."

Kankuro's mouth turned into a sneer. "I know damn well where she's from and I'm ordering you to open the gates. Now!"

They saluted and fumbled over themselves to do as he commanded. 

Kankuro's hand found her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, as they made their way inside. 

Rin found faces waiting for her and the look in their eyes, made her freeze in her tracks.

When she first arrived, the faces of the villagers were a compilation of curiosity, slight mistrust from some and apathy from the rest. She was an unusual sight, but nothing to interrupt their day or even warrant a second look. 

Now, all eyes were on her and there was no mistake about what they saw. 

The captain moved her along with him, trying his best to act casual.

She took a few steps, but her keen hearing caught the storm of angry whispers murmuring in the crowd.

"She's from the Sound."

"What's she still doing here?"

"She probably let them in."

"Spy."

"Snake."

Her breathing quickened under their suspicion; the familiar anxiety she felt upon her arrival, flowing through her veins, with each swift heartbeat.

A roaring noise filled her mind, their whispers and vengeful faces flooding her vision. 

Stay calm. Stay calm. Breathe. You haven't done anything wrong. Breathe. 

"It's going to be okay. Just keep walking." Kankuro's words anchored her out of her rising panic attack. 

"Captain!"

A voice grabbed their attention.

The pair looked to a young woman, no more than sixteen, with flaming red hair. She blocked their path, her stance proud and angry.

Kankuro stopped walking and regarded her. "Yes? Can I help you?"

She snarled. "What do you think you're doing?!"

He looked from her, to the crowd of people surrounding them. "Walking. Do I need anyone's permission to do that?"

The young woman snapped her pointed finger at Rin, who waited at his side. "Our southern wall has been breached and you have a member of the attacking village just waltzing through, like nothing happened?"

Rin glanced around, trying to get her sense of direction from the sun. Her eyes turned to the south side of the village and the smoke still rising, from what she assumed, was the damaged wall.

The sight made her stomach twist. 

Kankuro pushed her behind him. "Ms. Ito had nothing to do with the attack this morning. She is a guest of the Kazekage and will be regarded as such. Is any part of that unclear?"

The murmuring grew louder, their unrest and suspicion filling the air like a toxic cloud.

The accusing girl crossed her arms. "If she's a guest of the Kazekage, why isn't he the one escorting her? In fact, where was Lord Gaara when our wall fell?"

"Yeah! Where was the Kazekage when we needed him?"

"What were they doing away from the village?"

Kankuro growled, his voice projecting over the rising mob. "The Kazekage had a mission to complete and measures in place for his absence. There was no way of knowing an attack would come and the reinforcements he positioned, kept any further damage from occurring. Your safety is Lord Gaara's number one priority and you have our word, that won't change."

While this answer satisfied some, it enraged others and their questions echoed off the walls around them. 

"We heard the Sound was involved!"

"Why hasn't she been thrown out?"

"If the Kazekage cared about our safety, he'd have all members of THAT village under arrest." 

Rin's face turned red, her rage bubbling to the surface.

She came out from Kankuro's protection and addressed the crowd. "I've done nothing wrong! I was brought here as a guest of the Kazekage. I've done nothing to compromise that invitation."

"Why were you invited in the first place?"

"Yes, what did Lord Gaara need from you?"

She wanted to answer.

Every part of Rin begged to spill the information that because of her, their Kazekage found the peace they ripped away from him, the day he was born.

She was far more friend to him than the leaders of that village, but her voice stilled in her throat. 

Even though the action would validate her and save the looks of anger and suspicion of her cause, she wouldn't betray Gaara. 

Instead, her hand came to Kankuro's shirt, clutching it. He looked down at her clenched, shaking fist and back at her face.

"Get me out of here."

"You got it."

His arms swooped under her legs and he lifted her up, sprinting through the villagers, who began to crowd them. 

Their shouting followed like a swarm of angry bees, each accusation a sting against her soul. 

This was what her nightmares consisted of. Every time she thought about turning back on her journey to the Sand, it was for this very situation.

She told herself her fears were unfounded, she was just being silly and paranoid. 

But it happened.

There was a witch hunt forming and Rin couldn't help feeling like she'd be the one on the stake.


	17. Emergency Meetings

Gaara stood outside his council-room, listening to the rising voices of panic, through the double doors.

This wasn't going to be easy.

There was nothing to suggest an attack would've happened during his absence, if there was, of course he would have stayed to defend them. 

When he heard about the spy, all he could think was it would upset Rin and that's never what he wanted. 

This was a problem. 

She'd only been in his life four days and already, he was rearranging things for her happiness.

He'd have to take some time to work out what he could do about this knowledge, but, for now, it needed to wait. 

One problem at a time.

He took a breath, braced himself and entered into the chaos. 

Before him, the council of the five elders stooped over a giant map of the village, pointing fingers, slamming their fists on the table, each trying to be heard over the other. 

"We have to act now, before more retaliation comes down on the village!"

"If we don't know what we're walking into, we could make matters worse!"

The Kazekage approached, his voice a calm in the storm. "We aren't going to do anything, until we understand the situation completely."

All eyes turned to the young leader; their arguing silenced.

Gaara took his seat at the head of the table and waited for the barrage of questions.

Right on cue, the elder councilwoman, Kaba, was the first to berate him. "Lord Gaara! There you are. What in the world took you so long to return?"

"I had a private matter to attend to."

"A private matter with that Sound girl?"

His eyes shot across the table, holding her in their wake. "A private matter, meaning it isn't anyone's business, but mine. I'm here now, what's the status report?"

One of his generals brought the map up for his inspection.

The burly man brushed his hand over the paper, focusing on the southern wall. "There's been significant damage here. The guards posted to that side of the wall, state the explosion happened around three in the morning."

"They didn't see any suspicious activity leading to the explosion?"

"Negative, sir. It came out of nowhere."

Gaara's mind raced back to the last time explosives were used against his village. "Nothing spotted from above?"

Everyone in the room knew what he was implying. "No, Lord Kazekage, there wasn't anything to suggest an aerial attack. In fact, we aren't even sure if this was due to a jutsu or physical explosives, but we're investigating it."

The red circle surrounding the wall on the map, glared at him.

Gaara leaned forward on his elbows, assessing the situation. "Were there any casualties?"

"Thankfully, no, only the three guards posted at the top of the wall."

His eyes took in the general. "That's nothing to be thankful about. They are part of my village, just like everyone else."

"Yes, of course, Lord Gaara. My apologies. There weren't any fatalities, but all three guards were hospitalized from the fall."

He thought for a moment, eyes scanning the room of elders and settling on the one face he trusted more than any of them. 

She'd remained uncharacteristically quiet. 

"Captain Temari, as head of security, what have you to say about the situation?"

She left her post at the door and walked to the table; her eyes were cold when they brushed over him.

"It seems like a single incident, by a rogue individual. No evidence has been produced suggesting multiple attacks are likely, but security has been tightened around our borders. I've posted additional troops in our most vulnerable positions and sent word to our neighbors about the attack. We will remain on heightened alert, until more information comes into our possession."

This seemed to satisfy the council, if only for a moment. 

One of the male elders, Yashida, who rarely voiced his opinion without being asked, spoke. "Lord Gaara, I understand you've had Ms. Ito as your private guest, for your own health benefits. I don't doubt the reasoning behind it, but something has been troubling your council, if I may?"

Though he knew it was coming, Gaara suppressed a grimace at the following question and nodded his head.

Yashida placed his hands behind his back, his discomfort in asking the question, clear on his face. "Why did you leave the village, right when we'd captured a spy from the Sound? Is it not the Kazekage's responsibility to oversee interrogations and maintain the security of his people, before his own needs? There was a time where you would have agreed, my Lord." 

He felt their eyes on him. A rush of adrenaline pulsed through his veins. 

He had nothing to hide from his council, but the thought of telling them about his experience with Rin, the vulnerability he felt, seemed like a nightmare.

He doubted they would understand. 

Gaara was about to answer, when Temari cleared her throat, coming to stand by her brother and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Lord Kazekage trusted me with this information. The trip out of the village was scheduled previously, before the spy had been captured, and it couldn't be rearranged. There was a far more pressing issue and he entrusted me with the village's security. The fact that there was an attack on my watch, is my fault, not his. I take full responsibility for it and will continue to oversee the strengthening of our defenses and the gathering of any further information."

That wasn't fair to her. 

Gaara's mouth opened to defend his captain, but her hand squeezed hard enough, to force the protective sand to push back against her grasp. 

He got the message loud and clear.

"If there are no further questions, I call this emergency council meeting to a close. You are dismissed until more information is brought forth. Thank you for your help, in these matters."

The council left, their murmurings echoing with their passing. He knew they weren't pleased with the way the meeting went, but his word overruled them. 

Until he had his bearings, Gaara wasn't going to press them further and Temari's hand still hadn't left his shoulder.

He looked up to her cold eyes. "Temari?"

She turned on her heel and went to stare out the window.

By the way her arms were crossed and the tension radiating in her shoulders, Gaara knew what was coming. "Temari."

"Permission to speak freely, Lord Kazekage?"

"Of course."

She spun around and fixed on him, her mouth a hard line. "What were you thinking?"

"About?"

Temari sneered. "The council is perfectly right to call you out the way they did. You knew there was a spy from the Sound and you still left to that retreat of yours and with one of their members in tow. How could you be so reckless?"

"You knew I was going. What you said about me leaving you in charge was factual."

She slammed her hands to her hips, anger flaring in her cheeks. "For a few hours! I didn't think you'd be leaving for the entire night and long into the next morning! Who do you think you are, Gaara? Some every day person in the village? A merchant? A traveler? No. You are the Kazekage. You don't get to be away from the village that long without notifying your head of security."

"You were notified and Kankuro stayed to keep watch over the Oasis. I didn't expect to be gone as long as I was. Rin... Ms. Ito, made some real progress."

Temari's arms crossed, her posture rigid. "Meanwhile, you have a spy from her village in our prison and you just waltzed in here as if your southern wall wasn't destroyed and the Sound wasn't behind it."

"We don't know for certain they were. All we have is an undocumented member of the Sound detained, who hasn't told us why he is here in the first place. He's young, it could just be youthful rebellion and not wanting to justify his presence to us. You all just assumed he was a spy based on prejudice and fear.

The captain scoffed. "And this attitude has in no way come about, due to your new sleeping companion?"

"What are you implying?"

"I think I'm making myself very clear. You're infatuated with this girl and it's clouding your judgement."

Now it was Gaara's turn to be angry.

He rose from his chair, matching his sister's stance. "My judgement is far from clouded. I am the Kazekage of this village, the leader of the war which brought the Five Nations together. How would it look if I automatically blamed the Sound without a scrap of real proof?"

"A headband at the scene isn't proof enough for you?"

"What headband?"

She strode towards him, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the scuffed-up headband, with the sign of the Sound on it. 

Slamming it on the table, she snapped. "Here is your proof. I suggest you listen to your council, the head of your security and your own family, before a girl who has her own interests to consider."

She turned to leave, when Gaara's voice caught her mid-step. "You really think she has a hand in this, Temari?"

"I'm not ruling it out."

Suddenly, his words became low and the edge of his former-self sent chills down her spine, when he breathed. "Don't go near her until I've had a chance to speak to the prisoner, myself. Do you understand me?"

Temari didn't move from her spot, but she did manage to swallow her fear long enough to reply. "Yes sir."


	18. Panic Attack

When they made it to the mansion, Rin felt her stomach twisting inside her like an angry ballerina. Whether it was from being carried or the rising anxiety, was anyone's guess. 

Kankuro set her on her feet and looked behind them. "Okay, I don't think we were followed."

Her hands went to her knees, trying to keep her breathing steady. "Why are we here? Shouldn't I go to my quarters?"

The captain shook his head. "I don't think that's wise. The villagers are frightened and they know where you've been staying. If they decide to get any bright ideas, I'd feel better knowing you were close."

A nauseous wave passed through her at the thought. "Okay..."

"Hey, are you good? You look really pale."

She nodded, even though it felt like the world was rushing up to meet her. "Yes, I just need to get to a room. Can you show me the way?"

"Sure." He put a hand on her shoulder- it was soaking wet. 

Kankuro led her through the twisting halls, trying not to overstep his boundaries. He wanted to press further, but Rin said she was fine and his knowledge of the body was pitiful compared to hers.

If she said all was well, he had no place to doubt her. 

When they made it down the final hallway, the one before the passage that led to Gaara, he took her inside and helped her to the bed. 

Rin sat, waving him off. "Thank you."

"No problem. I'll go back to the Oasis and get your bag."

"Don't bother, if it will get you in trouble."

He laughed. "I'm not worried about it. The only one I'll have to face off with is Temari. So, if you see me blowing past your window, you'll know why."

She tried to laugh, but it came out as a sad excuse of a smile.

Kankuro hesitated in the door. "Are you sure, you're all right?"

"Mm hm."

"Okay then." He finally conceded and left.

The second she heard the door close, Rin raced over to lock it and found no latch. Her feet began to pace, the nervous feeling she was trying to fight, taking her in waves. 

"Calm down, Ito. Just breathe. We've got this. It's okay. You're okay."

Angry, suspicious faces filled her memory, their chakras crashing into her with each flittering thought.

Her heart pounded in her head, twisting waves of nausea threatening to unload her stomach onto the stone floor. 

She searched the room for a closet, something to hide away in, as she always did when an anxiety attack crept on her.

The Sand's approach to minimalism was really putting a damper on her panicking. 

After a moment of fruitless exploring, she settled for the next best thing and sat on the floor, wedging her way under the bed.

"Great, as if I didn't feel pathetic enough."

She curled her knees up to her chest and started her breathing exercises, just like she told her clients.

One of the reasons she held such a high success rate with handling other people's issues, was because she herself, knew how terrible the past could be. 

Rin's hands came to her head and she closed her eyes, her treacherous mind shooting back to the first time she felt like this and the lasting effects, which took her at the most inopportune times.

~

The lab was cold; it always seemed cold, no matter how often she moved around or who she cuddled up to. There was a lingering, mechanical chill that never left her.

Rin just finished her fourteenth trial of the day, her muscles feeling like they would tear, if she were put through another round.

Of all the days in the week, she hated endurance training the most. 

One of the leaders placed her back on the black strip, pushing her to sit down. "Subject 18, begin chakra exercise level five, on my mark. 3...2...1."

Rin closed her eyes, focusing on the last small drops of chakra left in her. Pins and needles of sensation flooded her fingertips, the last burst of energy she could muster, falling at the wayside. 

She was too tired. 

"Subject 18, begin."

"I tried. I can't do anymore."

There was a scribbling in the notebook, the man with glasses turning away. "Most disappointing."

Rin felt her heart sink to the ground. She didn't know what he was writing, but it didn't feel good.

"Come on 18, you can do it."

Her eyes turned to the partner seated across from her. Even though he was dripping in sweat as well, he held out his hands, beseeching her to try again. 

Rin sighed, shaking her head. "We've been at this for hours, 15. I don't have any chakra left in me."

Her partner shifted closer to her, taking her hands in his. "Nonsense, out of everyone in here, your chakra control is the best. Now focus, I'll help you."

"But..."

His kind eyes caught hers, his whisper so low, she almost missed it. "They're watching. Don't let them take anymore notes, okay? Just try. Look into my mind."

"Okay."

Her fingers laced with 15's and she closed her eyes, working through the desire not to open them again. 

She tried to picture the well of chakra in the center of her body. The way she felt now, she wouldn't have been surprised if it was bone-dry.

Nothing inside her gave any indication that she could pull this off, until, suddenly, she felt a warm tingle in her fingers, that didn't belong to her. 

One eye peeked open, taking in her friend's face and he winked at her. "Keep it up."

She closed her eyes again and let him spread some chakra into her, though the act was forbidden during training.

If 15 was willing to put himself at risk like that, she couldn't let him down. 

Rin focused her breathing. "Somnam Jutsu."

For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, she entered her partner's mind, working through his subconscious in waves.

The electrodes taped to his head started beeping on the screens surrounding them, showing an altered mental state, and scratching pens started up again.

Hopefully, in favor of her progress, instead of the disappointment they spoke of.

She didn't know what disappointment meant for them, but to her, it felt deadly.

Rin opened her eyes to a vast, green field. It smelt like fresh-cut grass, though she'd only experienced such things in simulations. 

The imaginary sun warmed her form, small purple flowers appearing wherever she walked. 

Her steps were light and quick, as she wandered through his mind. There was no set goal for this casting, just demonstrating the extent of her chakra control and how quickly she could induce, if called upon. 

"Hey 18."

She came upon 15, who was standing with his hands laced behind his head.

Her fingers came down to pick a single flower and she batted his chin with it. "Glad to see your brain stopped rejecting me, for a change."

"Well, you walk around in it enough. Seems like I should just give you a spare key."

"That's fair."

They were silent for a moment, waiting for her chakra to fade out. 

Hopefully, the leaders would be satisfied with her day's casting and she could rest. They seemed to be pushing her more and more lately, some goal about building up ninja with sensory abilities for a war. 

Not her thing. 

"Do you think they can hear us?" 15 whispered. 

She took in his question and turned to face the sky of his imagination, arms raised above her head. "The Sound leaders can kiss my manufactured ass!"

Silence. 

She looked to her friend. "Nope, I think they would've responded to that."

His laughter fluctuated the scenery around them, creating ripples that tingled her toes. She loved his laugh, especially when it made the scenery around them blossom. 

After a long moment, his chuckling quieted and bumped her shoulder. "Well, if they can't hear us, want to try something new?"

"What kind of new?"

15 smiled his devilish grin and took her hands into his. "You ever hear the leaders addressing each other?"

"Yeah."

"Notice they don't use numbers. They have, 'names.'"

Rin thought about it for a second, the random collection of letters fitting each person, was an interesting concept. "So? What does that have to do with us?"

He bit his lower lip, looking like he about to do something wild. "Can I... name you?"

Her face brightened. "Really? You want to give me my own name? What would you call me?"

He thought about it for a second, circling her, with his hand to his chin. "Hm, what indeed?"

She tried not to move from her spot, suppressing the giggle at his assessment.

He bent down to one knee and grabbed her hand. "When I think about you, 18, I think about how you always want to cuddle up to me at night."

A blush came to her cheeks. "Only because it's cold!"

He laughed. "No, you always feel cold. I'm very hot, it's how we've been made. So, that's how I always want to remember you. If being cold is why I get to sleep beside you, then the cold brings us together. I'll name you Rin."

She smiled. "I like that name. I'm Rin."

He rose from his crouch. "Okay, you're turn. Name me. What do you think of when you think of me?"

Rin looked around at his mind, feeling the last bits of her chakra fading away.

Whenever she melded with him, he always took her to the same warm place, full of life. "I'm going to name you... Haru, for the spring time."

His hand came to her cheek, pulling her head closer to his.

Rin sighed. "You're always so warm."

With that, her world went dark, the last bits of her chakra evaporated. 

Rin came out of his mind and back into the lab, where the familiar cold Haru spoke of, took her skin in goosebumps.

The sensations she had, however, especially with his hands still in hers, had nothing to with the cold.

The leader she knew as Kabuto, flicked his glasses at her. "Very impressive, Subject 18. Your chakra is stronger when you're experiencing emotions of love."

She glanced at Haru, feeling a heat come to her cheeks. 

Kabuto scratched down something else in his notepad, assessing her. "If you respond that well to happiness, I wonder how you'll do with pain?"

Rin didn't have time to react, before he took out a sharpened kunai and stabbed it through Haru's chest. 

The spray of the blood on her face, the way the light faded from his eyes, the feeling of his warmth, that reminded her of the spring, leaving her grasp with each second, stayed with Rin. 

For years afterwards, she'd wake from her dreams in a panic.

The images of her closest friend being carted off to the incinerator, how the scent of his blood wouldn't leave her skin, all of it came back to torment her. 

From that day on, she knew what death looked like; she stared it in the face and felt its grasp take Haru from her. All because they were nothing more than experiments in a mad-man's game.

She wasn't a person; she was a thing to be discarded when she wasn't useful anymore. 

Now, the thought that she was in a foreign village, with people who would put her back into her mold of nothing more than a Sound abomination, made her skin crawl. 

"You're okay. It's all okay. Gaara wouldn't let anything like that happen to you. Gaara has your back, just like you have his. Breathe, Rin, breathe."

She inhaled through her nose, held it for five seconds and blew out through her mouth. Each calming breath setting her right again. 

After a few moments, the world calmed around her, the feeling of nausea drifting away, like an unpleasant memory. 

Rin found the nerve to crawl out from under the bed and straighten herself back up. 

Her eyes came to the single mirror in the otherwise empty room and she stared at the pale, clammy girl within.

"Whatever is going on here, you're not going to freak out. You are Rin Ito of the Sound and you will leave this village as proud as when you entered. We've got this."

But the hard knock at the door, proved her earlier statement false. "Ms. Ito?"

"Yes?"

"You'll have to come with us."


	19. Into the Dungeon

The prison was darker than he remembered. 

Gaara's footsteps echoed in the long stairwell, each one leading him down to the dungeon, he'd explored several times as a child.

Something about the cold, looming place, so far separated from everyone else, called to him. 

"It's probably because you had a prison within yourself. It felt homey." Rin's voice came to his mind. 

That seemed like something she'd deduce.

Her lovely, knowing eyes made his heart ache; they held that incredible talent of seeing through him- even when he was trying to hide.

His hand came to the stone wall, running along the worn cracks and he tried not to think about her.

If this were indeed someone from her village and they were connected to the attack, that knowledge would hurt her. How could he employ more drastic interrogations without causing her pain? 

Gaara shook his head, clearing the image of her sad face out of his mind.

Now was the time for his leadership skills, especially with the council watching his every move, not to be concerned with her feelings.

Certainly not over the safety of his village. 

When his feet found the bottom of the staircase, he was greeted by two armed guards and only a bit of light from their torches, to pierce the suffocating darkness. 

They both bowed low. "Lord Kazekage! What do we owe the honor?"

"I'm here to speak with the captive."

The guards looked at each other and back at him. "That may be difficult, sir."

"Why? Has he refused to talk?"

"Not necessarily refused..."

They moved aside, so he could get a closer look. 

Gaara took one of their torches and bent down, trying to peer through the darkness. 

A man laid curled up on his side, his back to the cell door.

Though the blinding white hair would suggest otherwise, he wasn't that much older than Gaara, maybe only a year or two. 

"I am Lord Gaara. Fifth Kazekage of the Sand Village. I have some questions for you."

The prisoner sat up from his position, with a groan, and turned to face him, the torch light bright in his eyes. 

Gaara pulled it away slightly. "I understand you were caught outside the gates, with no paperwork for entry and when you were asked to provide your reasoning, you stayed silent. Later that night, there was an explosion, damaging our southern wall. A Sound headband was found at the scene, just like the one you have on."

The prisoner's hand went to his headband, tapping it and then resting in his lap, as if waiting politely for Gaara to finish. 

The Kazekage cleared his throat. "You can understand our suspicions and why you've been detained, yes?"

He nodded. 

Gaara blinked, waiting for him to say something. 

When no answer came, his brow drew together. "If you can just tell us the reasoning behind your visit to the Sand and what happened to your passport, we'll set you free. I'd like to believe this is all a misunderstanding."

The prisoner didn't respond and one of the guards slammed a hand against the bars.

The rattling clang echoed through the prison. "You will speak when the Kazekage addresses you, scum!"

"That isn't language isn't necessary, sergeant. We don't yet know if he's responsible for the attack and I'm not going to assume anything."

"Yes sir. My apologies."

Gaara looked back to the prisoner. "Well, what have you to say? Why won't you defend yourself?"

The man tilted his head and held up one hand, his finger curving in a beckoning motion.

Gaara leaned closer, the light from his torch illuminating the worn-looking face before him.

The prisoner smiled and opened his mouth, the nub that was his missing tongue, reflecting wet in the firelight. 

He snapped his teeth at the Kazekage and broke out into a fit of chilling laughter.

The prisoner grabbed his sides and curled in on himself, a high-pitched giggling shaking him like a rattlesnake's tail. 

Gaara stood up from his crouch. "He's mad."

The guards shuffled away from the cell door, as if he could magically escape and take them.

Gaara shook his head. "Keep him under close watch. I'll return with a solution."

"Yes sir!"

He turned to go back up the staircase, the haunting laughter chasing his steps through the darkness. 

The door slammed shut behind him and he leaned against it, letting out his breath in one long exhale, rubbing a hand across his face.

The crazed look in the man's eyes; the sunken, sallow face and missing tongue, were enough to turn his stomach.

Gaara saw torture before, in fact, he himself was the cause of more than one dismemberment, but that was in the past. 

He'd tried to distance himself from it as much as possible, but the bloody thoughts always remained. 

"I did far worse."

No, he wasn't going to allow himself to travel down that destructive road. He had far bigger issues to deal with, than self-pity.

Gaara left the prison behind him, walking through the streets of his village in broad daylight.

A few members bowed when they saw him, though he found such protocol uncomfortable.

There was a distinct feeling of unrest in their faces and he felt it with each foot fall, even though no one was brave enough to question him, out-right. 

No one, except one small girl, he recognized as one of his favorites.

She watched him pass, face down, actively avoiding her gaze.

Up until her tiny hand caught his coat. "Lord Fifth?"

He stopped in his tracks and turned to greet her. "Hello, Hana."

Her gaze shot away quickly, clearly pleased he remembered her name.

Her foot worked its way into the dirt. "I have a question."

Gaara waited for her to ask it, but she didn't.

"Yes? What can I help you with?"

Hana looked around at the passing villagers and waved for him to come down to her level. 

He tried not to show how awkward he felt squatting down for a five-year-old to whisper something to him, but he did, all the same. 

Hana's hand came to his shoulder, her other fanning his ear, so no one could hear her question. "Lord Gaara... are we gonna be okay?"

His surprised face turned to her. "Of course. Why wouldn't you be?"

The small girl worried her fingers, biting her bottom lip. "Papa says there was an attack from the Sound Village. They're bad guys, aren't they? We're gonna be okay, right? You're gonna protect us.... right?"

His heart melted at the question and the scared look in her eyes.

Hana was such a happy girl, usually. She always greeted him on his evening walks with sweets and stories and he repaid her with any sand creation she could imagine. 

Without thinking, he shifted, so that he was on bended knee, one arm crossed over his chest like a knight.

His head bowed before her. Protocol be damned. 

"You have my word, Hana. If I have to, I'll gladly give my life to protect you. I'm the Kazekage and you are one of my people, part of my family. Don't worry another moment about it. I'll protect you, little flower, no matter what."

Hana's face turned a bright red at his words. 

Gaara's hand stretched out in front of her and the sand twisted into a small rose.

He placed it in her grasp and patted her head.

The squee of happiness was enough to melt anyone who heard it, as she ran to show her parents the newest gift the Kazekage made her.

Gaara nodded to the pair of adults, who watched him warily, before heading back to the courtroom.

He sat in his big chair with a pensive look, summoning his siblings to advise him.

Temari answered quickly, as she always did, but Kankuro was nowhere to be found.

His eyes took in his sister and asked the question, he didn't have to say out loud. 

Temari sighed, casually leaning against her fan, with a hand on her hip.

The tone of her voice let him know their earlier disagreement was forgiven. "He went back to the Oasis to retrieve Ms. Ito's things. She's staying in the mansion."

Gaara leaned back in his chair, looking out the window at the villagers, who were quickly working to repair the wall. 

Already, they'd made impressive progress. If there was one thing the people of the Sand were good at, it was prevailing against the storms in life.

He was proud of them. 

However, he knew they were distrusting by nature. Hana confirmed that rumors already began to spread and if they were suspicious of the Sound, he couldn't guarantee Rin's safety. 

"That's for the best. She'll need her supplies for her journey home."

"What?"

Gaara looked away from his sister. "I know my people. Their fear runs deep, despite the progress we've made. I can't protect Rin and fight for my village at the same time. She needs to go back home, before any harm comes to her."

"Did you speak to the prisoner?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to release the rising tension. "More or less. His tongue has been cut out and he's insane."

"Huh..." The Captain began to pace the length of the room, her hand to her chin. 

Gaara peeked open one eye to look at her. He knew that stance. "Temari, what are you planning?"

Her fierce strides came to a halt. "So, we have a mad man, who doesn't speak, but is our only lead, yes?"

"Yes."

"And, we also have a guest within our walls, who has the ability to enter the mind of others."

Gaara stood up from his chair. "You can't be suggesting..."

Temari's eyes held him. "I'm not suggesting anything. I'm laying out the facts. If Rin Ito can use her jutsu, we can find out what the Sound is planning and if another attack is coming. More and more, this information is pointing to this prisoner being the culprit. He knows something."

"I can't ask her to do that."

Her eyebrow raised. "So, you'll put her discomfort above the safety of your people?"

He crossed his arms, stance unwavering. "I'll find a way to protect them without subjecting her to that. Her jutsu is used for relaxation and healing people, not for being a weapon of war."

Temari mirrored his movement. "There are times when being a leader means making the hard decisions. You know the council will suggest the same thing when they hear of the prisoner's... affliction. Wouldn't it be better to speak to Rin yourself, before that happens?"

The logic was there, as always.

In some cases, Temari's strategic mind was as formidable as his sand. 

He wanted Rin as far away from the village as possible, even if it killed him to think of going to his room alone.

However, if by some miracle, he could convince her to look into the prisoner's mind, there would be hope for his people and it would also absolve her of any rumors of involvement.

It was too big of a risk, not to take. Even if she may hate him for subjecting her to it. 

Gaara rested his hands on the table. "Fine, please send an invitation to Ms. Ito for me."

"An invitation to what?"

"If I'm going to ask her to do something completely against her ethics, I might as well treat her to dinner first."


	20. Deception's Desire

The two men stared Rin down, their expressions impossible to read, even for her. "You'll need to come with us."

She maintained her stance. "Where?"

They moved out of the doorway, so she could pass. "The Kazekage has summoned you."

Rin felt the urge to be snarky, despite her previous fears. "Has he, now? He sent two guards to retrieve me? Am I suddenly that dangerous?"

Silence answered her. 

"Splendid. Lead the way, then. Deadly Sound assassin coming through."

She knew she shouldn't even joke about it, but the fact that they were taking her directly to Gaara, made her feel braver.

If there was anyone in this hostile village who would protect her, it was him. 

Mobs and pitchforks seemed far less intimidating, than a sand that could crush its enemies in one blow. She wasn't sure if she should feel pride or terror, but it laid somewhere in the middle.

The guards didn't put hands on her, however, she felt them on high alert the entire time.

A raised edge of the carpet caught her foot and she stumbled.

Both men were quick to catch and seize her back under control, as if she were a deadly viper. 

Rin shrugged their hold off. "Calm down, boys. I'm not going to make a run for it or anything. What exactly do you think is going to happen here? It's not as if I could give you the slip or anything."

They didn't answer, but quickened their speed.

Rin had to skip her steps to keep up with them.

Clearly a sense of humor wasn't valued amongst the private guard.

Noted.

Twisting hallways and hidden passages, led her around and up the stairs to a pair of doors, she hadn't seen before. They were far more ornate than anything she'd experienced in the entire house, even more so than the private quarters of the Kazekage.

"Where are we?"

"Dining room."

Rin glanced behind her and back to the guards. "I needed an armed escort and a labyrinth tour to go to the dining room?"

"Protocol, ma'am."

She rolled her eyes, biting down on her lip to avoid yet another sarcastic comment. It was clear her welcome was long over-stayed. 

They knocked on the door once and the voice behind it made her shiver, her previous bravado fading.

"Enter."

Gaara didn't sound warm, like she'd come to know him.

Even when she first arrived, he was professional, but still curious. This voice belonged to someone who was beyond her reach.

The guards opened the doors for her, pushing her inside with one hard shove. 

She stumbled a few steps, temper begging to be unleashed on the cretins who were treating her like a prisoner.

"I can walk just fine on my own. Thank you."

Gaara stood from his chair, his voice strong and commanding. "That will be all. Leave us."

They bowed to him and quickly retreated, closing the doors with little more than a slam.

Rin jumped at the unexpected noise and turned around to face the man, who looked like Gaara, but stopped at that.

The highborn status radiated off him in waves, his posture rigid and expecting.

He wore a face she didn't recognize.

It wasn't inquisitive or tender, vulnerable or friendly. His face was a stone mask of regality and it made her feel like she was on the other side of the world, instead of just across the table. 

He stared her down, unwavering, and for the first time since they met, she felt lacking in his hard gaze. 

Rin's fingers came up to her ponytail, stroking the edges of it.

"Hello, Gaara."

"Ms. Ito."

Her last name sounded foreign on his lips, almost derogatory, in a way. 

He pulled out a chair from a massive dining table and gestured for her to sit. 

When she didn't move right away, he cleared his throat. "Please, have a seat."

She looked from the chair, to his face and shuffled over, her eyes never leaving him. 

He didn't push it back in for her, but instead, took his own seat, at the other end of the table. 

Rin sat with her hands in her lap.

She looked down the long length of wood between them. "Gaara, wha..."

Before she had a chance to speak, he cut her off. "I apologize for my swift departure today. I'm sure you're now aware of the trouble in my village and my immediate response was necessary. I hope you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'd hate to misrepresent the Sand's hospitality."

"Of course not."

He grabbed a glass of water and took a sip. 

Rin focused on his hands and saw a slight tremor that wasn't there before. 

"He's nervous," she thought to herself, "what does he have to be nervous about?"

Gaara set the glass down and addressed her again, his professional tone gnawing away at her with every word. "I have information to share with you, Ms. Ito. There was a spy from the Sound apprehended outside the walls yesterday. The explosion is believed to be a direct result of his capture. While we have no solid proof of this, more evidence has come to light, heavily suggesting the Sound's involvement."

"A headband."

He seemed surprised she knew, but continued. "Yes, a headband with the Sound's insignia, was found at the scene of the explosion, but the prisoner still has his own in his possession. This leads us to believe it's not a single incident and we could be in danger of further attacks."

"What did he say when you asked him?"

Gaara leaned forward on his elbows. "There is an issue regarding that prisoner. It appears his tongue has been removed. Whether this is by his own doing or an outside force, is unknown at this time."

Rin felt her stomach lurch at the thought. No one she knew in the village was born without a tongue. She had no idea who it could be or what could drive them to such an act. 

Gaara's voice rang hollow in her ears. "The Sand is requesting your services in addressing this issue."

"My services?"

He hadn't moved from his spot, but his voice came out a fraction quieter. "Your Sleep-Walker Jutsu."

Her mouth fell open, breath catching in her lungs.

His words sounded far away, like she was underwater in her favorite river at home, but this silence wasn't precious to her; it was dangerous. 

"You want me to use my jutsu for... interrogation?"

His face wavered slightly at her tone. "Yes. It would greatly benefit the Sand and absolve you of any possible involvement in the attack."

"Absolve me? You think I'm involved? You honestly believe I would do anything to harm the people of your village? Or you?"

His silence spoke volumes.

The heavy, suffocating feeling of what he was implying, sucked the air out of the room and left her breathless. 

She looked down, her face forming the worst expression Gaara could think of.

It wasn't anger or contempt, those things he could manage. Her face held an expression of hurt and, far worse, disappointment. 

He could handle most anything in this world, but not her disappointment in him. "Ms. Ito..."

"Rin."

"Pardon?"

Her gaze rose from the floor and focused on him. 

The fire he'd fallen for, the first time he saw her, swelled in her eyes and held him hostage. 

"My name is Rin. You call me Rin and I call you Gaara. I don't understand why that's changed. I don't understand why you're acting like this. I don't know what I've done to lose your trust, but..."

To his horrid shock, she knelt on the ground, her head bowed before him. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

Tears poured down her face, as she dipped her head lower. "I'm sorry, Gaara. For whatever I did to offend you. Whatever involvement you think I have in this, or what my village has done, I'm sorry. I'm so..."

She didn't get a chance to finish. 

The chair clamored in the vast room, as he shot out of it and knelt on the ground, his arms coming around her.

Rin's eyes widened at his embrace, something that only yesterday, was so difficult for him.

Gaara held her tight, his arms a secure cage, heart thundering in his chest. "No, Rin, I'm sorry. I never should have treated you like that."

She felt like she'd lose control if she said anything, so she remained silent. 

Gaara placed his hand on the back of her head, treasuring the softness of her hair. "I'm bad at this friendship thing. I'm still learning. Please, please, forgive me. From the moment I returned home, I've been met with hostility and suspicion; my council, my sister, my people, everyone is looking to me for answers."

Her face stayed in his shoulder and he sighed. "But that doesn't give me any right to take it out on you. I was trying to push you away from me."

"Why would you do that?"

He shook his head at his own stupidity, when it was said aloud. "Because I'm scared. I'm worried that the rumors will only grow and you'll face the brunt of my failure to act when I should have. I tried to push you away, so you'd choose to go home and I wouldn't be the one having to send you. Whether by my request or by my demeanor, because I'm worried for your safety here, I tried to act as a Kazekage should."

She sniffled and his heart ached.

Gaara rested his cheek against the top of her head. "But I can't do it. I can't pretend like you're anything less, than what you are to me."

"And that is?"

He pulled back and caressed her face in his hands, turning her eyes up to look at him. "You're my angel and I'm a fool for treating you as anything less. Can you forgive me for what I asked, Rin?"

Her fingers came up to brush away her tears and she nodded, still not trusting her voice. 

Gaara's forehead pressed against hers. "Thank you."

They stayed like that for a moment, the gravity of their conversation feeling lighter.

It amazed Rin how one man could make her feel less and so much more, at the same time.

Perhaps she wasn't the only one who could understand another's feelings, before they, themselves did?

Gaara stood and helped her to her feet, brushing her hair behind her ear. His eyes searched hers, trying to figure out what he should say next. 

She looked at the table and back at him. "Gaara?"

"Yes?"

"Do I still get to eat this dinner, even if I don't agree to your request, or is it strictly a blackmail meal?"

He looked at the impressive display and found himself laughing at the question. "It does look like I'm bribing you, doesn't it?"

"Mm hm."

He held out her chair for her again and she seated herself, but didn't miss that he pushed it back in this time.

It was such a small thing, but the action made her feel special. 

Gaara took his plate from across the table and sat next to her, as if it were any other meal and not their last, as he pictured. "Let me serve you. You like grapes, yes?"

She watched him reach for a delicious looking bunch and placed her hand on his.

Gaara looked at her. "No? Did I get it wrong?"

She pulled his hand away from the table and placed it to her face, treasuring the way it felt against her skin. "Gaara?"

"Yes?"

Her eyes opened and held him. "I know why you wanted me to leave. I know you're worried and to tell you the truth, I am as well."

His thumb traced her lips, his words coming out distracted and absent. "What are you worried about?"

The sensations of his touch against her lips, sent tingles through her. "I worried about the villagers harming me, but not anymore. I know you'll protect me."

"I will."

She smiled, leaning her face further into his hand. "I was also worried I'd distract you and cause problems with your council."

He leaned closer to her. "That can't be helped. I'll be distracted, regardless."

Rin's gaze traveled from his eyes to his lips, her voice a breathy whisper. "But, mostly, I'm worried that if I stay any longer..."

"Yes?"

He was so close, she could smell the wonderful musk and spice scent of Gaara's skin.

Rin inhaled it and nearly moaned. "I won't be able to leave you."

His whisper was hot against her mouth. "Then don't."


	21. Release

"Then don't." The words circled around her brain over and over. "Don't go."

Rin stayed where she was, his lips dangerously close to hers.

His hot breath tickled the edges of her mouth, sending a pulsating deep down in her stomach.

She wanted him to come closer, wanted to feel the sensation of his kiss, but she hesitated. 

What would it mean for them if she gave in?

They hadn't known each other long at all, but it felt like a lifetime. Could she give up everything, to be with a man she'd known less than a week? Was she that kind of woman? 

Gaara's heart thundered in his chest.

She was so tantalizingly close, the familiar scent of jasmine filling his senses. Her rose-petal lips called to a part of him, he'd never explored.

He wanted all of her, every breath, every thought, all that she could show him and all that he'd never seen before. He wanted to know the sweet release of her body against his.

"Rin..."

"Gaara, we can't."

Those words stopped him short, just shy of her lips.

His eyes turned to hers. "Why not?"

She shook her head. "I can't stay here."

"You don't have to leave. I'll make it work. I'll protect you from everyone and everything, if I have to. I can do it."

Her hand came up to his face, caressing it in the warmth, that he felt long after she left.

Her smile was sad. "I have no doubt about that, but I have a life back in the Sound, a career and a family, if you can call it that. I can't just give up everything because..."

"Because why?"

She choked down the lump in her throat, but stayed silent. 

Gaara stood up from the table, pulling her with him.

His hands grasped her arms, holding her steady, as his gaze ensnared her. "Tell me."

Her knees shook when he stared at her like that. The sea green of his eyes swallowed her up in its intensity. 

"I..."

He didn't move from his spot, didn't breathe. They both knew why she wanted to stay, what part of her felt as if she'd never leave the Kazekage of the Sand, but Rin didn't know how to say it.

For once in her life, she didn't know what the right words were to say. 

So Gaara said it for her. 

His hands trailed up her shoulders, cradling her face, as if she were the most precious thing he'd held. 

His eyes stayed trapped within hers, his voice hot and low. "It's because ever since you arrived, the world feels brighter than ever before. The chaos of my mind quiets when you're near. By some miracle, something beyond our control, we found each other. I don't know about destiny or soulmates. I don't even know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know one thing."

Her voice shook with desire. "What is that?"

His arm dropped from her face and took her lower back, pulling her body close to his. "If I don't kiss you now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

She knew she should stop him. The small voice in the back of her head, the one that was annoyingly right, cried out for her to think with her brain and not other aspects of herself. 

That voice silenced when his lips met hers. 

Sensation flooded her lips like a stream of electricity, tingling from the top of her head, down to her toes and back. 

Her senses were full of him; every movement of his body rushing her with wave after wave of desire. His spicy, musk scent, the way his hands trailed along her skin, even the feeling of his clothes against her, set her on fire inside. 

His kiss was a raging inferno and she wasn't going to let it be doused any time soon. 

But, strangely enough, Gaara didn't feel on fire. He didn't feel alive or electric, the way she did. 

Rin's kiss wasn't an ignition to him, it was a sanctuary.

Holding her body to his, feeling how she trembled beneath his touch, the way her lips were even softer than he imagined, all of it, filled him with a peace he'd never know without her. 

He didn't just care for her, he needed her, like the desert needed rain. 

With each heartbeat, that echoed in time with hers, he knew he couldn't let her go.

From this day on, whenever she was out of his arms, he would be empty. She was light and warmth and serenity, a soothing balm for his frozen soul. 

His solace. 

They stayed in each other's arms, neither finding the strength to let go.

"Gaara."

"Mm."

She sighed, happiness bubbling within her. "I don't know."

He laughed. "I get it."

His lips came to her forehead, trailing a line of soft kisses, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.

If he had his way, he'd stay in this happy place with her forever, until the sound of the doors opening, drove them apart. 

Gaara's eyes turned up to the guards who waited, their awkward gaze shooting to the floor.

Though his lips left Rin's, he still held her tight in his arms, his voice coming out far calmer than she felt. "Yes?"

The larger of the two cleared his throat. "A thousand apologies for the interruption, Lord Kazekage, but we've received word from the Sound village."

Rin twisted in his arms, never leaving them, but now facing the guards. "Is it from my leader?"

They looked at Rin and up to Gaara, as if asking his permission to share the information with her.

When he didn't respond one way or the other, the guard nodded. "Yes. A falcon arrived moments ago with a scroll, for you, Lord Gaara."

He nodded. "Leave it on the table there and I'll see to it."

The smaller of the two guards stared at Rin, his mouth open and the larger cuffed his shoulder. "What are you doing, staring like a fish? Give him the scroll, idiot!"

"Oh... right." He jumped, breaking his trance from the sight of the uncommon pair. 

After the message was placed on the table, both guards bowed and retreated out the doors, slamming them with their departure. 

Gaara turned Rin around so she was facing him again. Her eyes trailed up to meet his and they stared for what seemed like forever, neither sure what to say.

In the end, it was Rin who spoke. "You should probably see to that scroll from my village."

His arms pulled her closer, lips threatening to take hers again. "I know, I should."

Her teeth came to her bottom lip, biting it to keep herself from falling into his kiss. "Gaara."

"Mmm hmm."

She rose a single finger to rest on his lips, her smile bright and hot. "Business first."

He groaned and reluctantly let her go. "Yes, yes."

His feet led him to the edge of the table, picking up the scroll and scanning it. 

Rin leaned her arms against the back of the chair, watching his expression, which remained as unreadable as usual. "Well?"

"Hm."

"What does it say?"

He didn't respond.

The happy, dizzy feeling that was circling through her veins, calmed into a dull buzz. "Gaara?"

His eyes read through the scroll once more, before they settled on her. "I don't know what to say."

Rin tilted her head. "About?"

Gaara's brow drew together. "It is indeed from the leader of the Sound Village and it's involving you."

"In what way?"

The Kazekage lowered the scroll, so she could read it beside him.

Rin stepped closer and instantly recognized the handwriting:

"Lord Gaara, Fifth Kazekage of the Village Hidden in the Sand,

I've been made aware of the attack on your village. Your council saw fit to notify me, in case of misunderstanding or miscommunication.

I can assure you; this is in no way a direct assault from the Sound. We have no desire for anything other than a close friendship with the Sand. 

I understand you have a culprit in your possession, who claims they are associated with my people.

You are also hosting one of my most valuable shinobi within your walls. 

If it would please you, I give my express permission to use Ms. Ito's jutsu for your processes and maintain your use of her until this matter is resolved.

In other words, use my creation however you see fit, even if it is as nothing more than collateral.

Whatever aid you require from the Sound, will be given without delay. 

Best regards,

Orochimaru"

The name made her freeze. 

Gaara read the message once more and turned to look at Rin, who turned pale before him.

"Rin?"

"It's been decided. I'm to be used a weapon."

He tossed the paper on the table. "Not if it isn't your choice. I wouldn't do that to you."

She felt like she would cry, but managed to hold herself straight. "Didn't you read it, Gaara? I'm his creation. Creations don't get choices."


	22. Fire in Stone

Once upon a time, there was a girl who turned to stone.

She didn't know it was happening and by the time it reached her heart, it was far too late to stop it.

But the girl didn't mind all that much, because when you're a stone, you don't have to worry about petty things, like thoughts or opinions of your own. 

You have one purpose in life and being the best stone, you can be, you'll achieve it. 

At least, that's what Rin felt, as the words on the scroll played out before her. 

No matter how far she came, what lives she touched, the relationships she'd made, at the end of the day, she had a purpose in life and it was to serve that man. 

His cold, lifeless hands, as they trailed up and down her skin, the memory of his raspy voice in her ear, all of it played in her mind like some horrid cinema and she had a front row seat. 

"You've been summoned to go to the Village Hidden in the Sand. There is a high-profile client who needs your assistance."

"Who's the client?"

He smiled, the lips reaching a fraction too far up. "Why, none other than the Kazekage himself."

Rin's heart sped up at the thought of standing toe-to-toe with the monster she'd heard of.

He may have seemed normal at the rally, but she'd read the reports about him and heard the rumors. Who was he really? What kind of beast was she taking on? 

"I'm not sure I'm the best person for this mission."

"Nonsense, out of all my creations, you're the very best at making a man feel something."

His hands took her shoulders, their frozen wake chilling her skin, as he brought his lips to her ear. "Just do for him, what you've always done for me."

"Sir?"

He sniffed her hair, the chuckling, that haunted her dreams, fluttering against the skin of her neck, when he smiled. "Treat him like a man and he will be clay in your hands. This is important for the Sound. Relations with the Sand have been... strained. I'm counting on you to resolve this matter. By any means necessary. Do not fail me."

"Yes, Lord Orochimaru."

~~~

Rin felt the memory as if it were before her very eyes. The words "use" and "creation" stuck to her like mud, so much, that she didn't even hear Gaara's voice. "Rin? Rin!"

"Hm?"

He reached out to take her in his arms. "You don't have to do this. I won't ask you to do something you don't agree to."

She stepped out of his grasp and walked past him. "It's fine. I'm fine."

Gaara watched her pass, confused by the sudden transformation. There was something otherworldly about her calm, an almost haunting aura about her, that made him feel cold.

Rin never made him feel cold.

He tried once more to catch her arm. "Rin, please."

She turned, her eyes seizing him in their intensity. "Let's just get this over with."

His hand instantly released her and stayed in the air, grasping nothing, as she walked away with the two waiting guards. 

This wasn't right. Nothing about this felt right, at all.

Rin didn't wait for Gaara, if he were going to watch her betray her values, she'd prefer him not to have a good view. 

She looked to the taller of the two guards. "Take me to the prisoner."

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

The guard stammered. "Um... yes, ma'am."

"That's more like it."

She suddenly understood how Temari felt. Why bother with kindness when you could have respect? This must be what it's like to be a creator verses a creation. No one speaks down to the creator.

She may have felt like a stone, but she was going to be an unmovable one and heaven help anyone who tried. 

"Ms. Ito, I've been looking for you."

Speak of the devil.

The captain stood before her, the same regality that Rin was trying to emulate, but didn't come nearly as natural.

She regarded the woman with a dead stare. "What?"

Temari was clearly taken back by her tone, but dismissed it. "By the look on your face, I take it, the Kazekage discussed our request?"

"More or less."

"And you agree?"

Rin looked down at her hands, which felt numb. "More or less."

Gaara brought up the rear and caught his sister's attention. "Temari, what are you doing here? We weren't supposed to be disturbed for the rest of the evening."

She bowed her head. "Unfortunately, that's not a luxury we can afford tonight. The council has come to the conclusion we thought they would, regarding Ms. Ito. They want to speak with her before she... addresses the prisoner."

Gaara's brow drew together. "That's hardly their place to summon her on their whims. I may be at their mercy, but that doesn't mean she is."

"It's fine, Gaara."

He looked to Rin, who seemed a fraction of her former self. "But..."

"It's fine. Point me in their direction. I'll jump through their hoops. I just want to be done with all of this."

Temari's eyebrows rose at her tone. This wasn't the fiery girl she'd seen before; she wasn't even a shadow of her. The captain would have taken the disorganized, haggard display over this walking shell. 

She extended an arm, gesturing for Rin to move to the council room. Before they entered, she leaned over to whisper to her brother. "What did you say to break her like this?"

He looked as if she'd slapped him. "I did no such thing. It was this."

The scroll was shoved into her grasp and Gaara pushed past the guards, so he was walking beside Rin. 

Temari skimmed the message and closed her eyes at the mention of the Sound's leader. She remembered the man, if he could be called that, and he made her skin crawl. How someone like that, could lay claim to someone like Rin, was a sick mystery. 

Gaara walked ahead of Rin and addressed the council with his best leadership voice. "Council members, this meeting is untoward. Our guest is not to be held to the same standards as a villager living in the Sand. You can't enforce her presence."

"We hear your protest, Lord Fifth, but there are pressing matters at hand." Kaba said from her perch. 

Her beady eyes took in the girl, who stood behind Gaara like a detached shadow. "Young lady, step forward, please."

She did. 

The council appraised her. "Well, I see your attitude has calmed since your stay in our village. What an interesting change. Maybe all you needed was some discipline from the Sand? Who knows what standards the Sound has taught you."

Rin's hand curled into a fist, but she stayed silent. 

The old council woman continued. "I'm sure you've been made aware of our situation, Ms. Ito?"

"I have."

"And your cooperation in this matter, would be most helpful."

"I'm sure."

The members looked at each other, their sidelong glances speaking volumes. 

One of the younger men, Yashida, cleared his throat. "Ms. Ito. Is something wrong? You don't seem too keen on our request."

At this, her eyes finally rose from the floor and assessed the council. "You're asking me to use my prized jutsu, the same one that's touched the lives of the people around me, as a weapon of interrogation. Forgive me, if I'm not jumping for joy as I adhere to your torture."

There was a light murmuring. "Of course, we can't force you. If you wish to decline your help, we will see you on your way, back to the Sound."

Rin sighed. "That won't do me any good."

Without bothering with formality, she snatched the scroll from Temari and tossed it on the table for them to inspect. "As you can see, the leader of my village, is in complete agreement with your needs. I'll start immediately."

The council regarded the message and nodded approvingly. "Well, that's set then. Guards, please escort Ms. Ito to..."

"Enough!"

All eyes turned to the Kazekage, who stood in front of Rin, like a brick wall. 

"Lord Gaara?"

"I've heard enough of this. All of it, is ridiculous. Rin isn't your dog and you won't order to do anything, not while I'm here."

"But, Lord Orochimaru..."

"Is a sick and crazed individual. You were so concerned with his image when Rin first arrived and now you are apt to follow his lead, simply because it's beneficial to your desires. This isn't what the council is founded on. You don't give the orders around here."

Kaba bristled. "Lord Gaara, our role in these seats..."

"Is to advise me. That's it. Advise. I am the one who decides whether or not to take that advice and I'm refusing it now. No one will force Rin to do something she doesn't agree with. Not you, not the leader of the Sound."

He turned and met her eyes, his voice softening. "And certainly not me."

The shocked silence filled the room like a heavy cloud. All of the council members twitched in their seats, none certain of how to counteract what he said.

As always, it was Kaba who found her voice first. "Captain Temari! As head of security, surely you don't agree with this?"

The cold woman leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms. "I believe the Kazekage has spoken."

"But, he..."

Her eyes held the council. "He, what?"

Kaba fell silent under her gaze and Gaara nodded his thanks to her.

He turned his body so he was blocking Rin from the prying eyes of the council. "Rin, please, listen to me."

She looked away and his hand found her chin, gently tilting it. "I don't know why what Orochimaru said upset you so. If it's about you being his creation, or whatnot, so, what?"

Rin stared at him. "So what? Did you honestly just say, 'so, what,' to that?"

There it was. The spark inside her. It was small, but it was enough and Gaara pressed on. "Yes. So, what? What's the big deal?" 

Rin scoffed. "I'm not a person to him. I'm a thing. I'm one of his creations and I have a job to do. Don't you understand? I wasn't placed on this earth for anything other than what he intended. I'm not even really human."

Gaara's hands came to hers. "Neither am I."

Her eyes shot up to his face, searching it. Gaara's thumb traced her right knuckle. "Remember what you told me, the last time you went into my mind? It didn't matter if I held onto my past or if I still felt darkness or shame from it. It made me human. Why can't that be the same for you?"

Her own words thrown against her. Rin looked down, processing what he said. "But, there's still a danger to your village."

"Potentially and if you want to help me fight it, I'll welcome your support. But no one is going to make you do anything against your will. Honestly, I'm surprised you'd even allow it to go this far."

That small spark started to fan into a flame. "What do you mean?"

Gaara smirked. "My Rin, wouldn't stand for a bunch of old people telling her what to do. What do you say? Are you still my girl?"

Raging inferno. 

Rin felt her color return to her cheeks, the sharpness to her tongue and she took a step around Gaara. "Ladies and gentlemen of the council. I've heard your request and the permission of my village head. For you to ask me to betray everything I am and invade another's mind, is out of the question and I won't stand for it."

Kaba sputtered. "But... but you..."

Rin bowed in a mock display of grace. "Thank you, councilwoman, for your cooperation."


	23. Rules and Regulations

Gaara rarely felt anything. 

In his adolescence, he'd experienced anger, hatred, betrayal, but up until recently, most of his feelings were confined to a box.

Anything that could distract him from leading his village or furthering his reach, was smashed down into his constant battle for control. 

It felt safer that way.

Now, with the person who came into his world like a bolt of lightning, he felt things completely anew- emotions denied to him from childhood. Because of her, he knew happiness, desire and kind of serenity, he thought impossible. 

Seeing Rin bow in front of the elders, her face haughty and fierce, he felt something entirely new:

Pride.

She turned on her heel, giving her hair a flip for good measure and strode out of his council room, as if she hadn't a care in the world. 

He believed Rin was a warm light, something soft and comforting against his darkness. 

He was mistaken. 

She wasn't just a tender force or someone who held him at night, making him feel brave. 

She was a raging fire. 

Watching her leave, the elders gaping after her, he knew it would be pointless to contain that flame; she'd burn anyone who tried. 

Kaba's face looked as if it might explode, her outrage fuming. "Ms. Ito? Ms. Ito! You haven't been dismissed! This is a very poor display of the Sound!"

Rin came to the door and stopped. "I believe you need to stop and figure out which side of my village you want to focus on. Either we are vicious assassins or the peak of cooperation, you let me know which you decide. I have better things to do."

And with that, she left. 

All the members of the council turned to Gaara, their faces helpless against her dismissal.

He offered a polite bow. "Well, I think we have our answer to whether or not she'll lend assistance. I'll see to the prisoner myself and continue investigations."

The older councilwoman sputtered. "Lord Fifth! What do you intend to do about this vulgar display of insolence against your council?"

"I'm not sure."

"She can't speak to us like that. She needs some kind of punishment!"

Gaara felt the edges of his mouth stitch into a smirk. "I'll see to that as well. I assure you, there will be strict discipline given for this display. Thank you, council-members, goodnight."

Temari's jaw dropped.

"Of all the meetings for Kankuro to miss," She thought to herself. 

She didn't even try to keep eye contact with him as he passed, but she didn't miss how he moved with an ease, previously unseen.

Whatever Rin Ito did to her brother, she had a distinct feeling it would change how their village was run in the future; she couldn't predict whether that was a good thing or not. 

~

Rin practically sashayed out of the council-room, feeling the weight of their expectations falling off of her with each step. 

"Screw them, screw Orochimaru, screw all of this. Gaara's right, I'm not just a thing to be used for their purpose. I'm my own person."

She stood in the middle of the hallway, stretching her arms above her head. "I'm never going to let anyone else speak for me again. They can all shove it!"

"Ms. Ito."

Rin turned, taking in the stern face of the Kazekage. 

He stood, arms crossed, eyes unreadable in the dim light.

Rin lowered her arms, lacing them behind her back. "Yes?"

"Will you join me in private quarters? I feel we need to have a discussion about etiquette and respect."

Her heart quickened half a beat. "Are you angry with me?"

His eyebrow rose. "The Kazekage doesn't feel petty things like anger. Come, let's further this lesson in private."

She wanted to protest, but caught his gaze, as it flicked to the side. 

The door to the council room was propped open, shadows of listening ears trailing onto the floor.

She tried to keep her smile off her face. "I see. Yes, I'll join you. Perhaps I've not been properly taught on the Sand's customs? Who knows what my upbringing in the Sound has done to my propriety?"

Gaara's mouth twitched. "Indeed. Shall we?"

Two of the guards leapt to escort them, but were waved off by their head. "No need, I'll handle this matter myself."

Rin waited for him to pass, her head lowered and remorseful. 

The fact that either of them were able to contain their laughter through the quiet hallways, was astounding.

They hadn't even made it to the room, before any resemblance of control left and both parties shook with the raw joy that bubbled within. 

Gaara held open the door for her and locked it behind them. "Well, that was a sight."

"I'm sorry! I got a little carried away."

"A little?"

Making his face just visible, she peered at him between her finger and thumb "This much?"

Gaara shook his head, spreading her fingers out that she could see the whole room now. "Try again."

"Okay, maybe more than a little."

He laughed, taking her hand in his and holding it to his chest. "So, in less than a week, you've successfully told off distinguished members of my council, not once, but twice, and have received no punishment for it."

"Well, if they wouldn't say such outlandish things, I wouldn't have to tell them off, now would I?"

"Rin."

She rolled her eyes. "I know. I know. Protocol is very important to the Sand."

He slipped an arm around her waist. "And?"

"And I should respect the members you placed in charge of advising you."

His firm chest pressed against her, locking her in his embrace. "What else?"

"I'm a guest here. I should..."

His lips trailed along her forehead. "Yes?"

"Mmm."

"I'm listening."

"I can't think when you do that."

His voice was a low chuckle. "Oh? How about when I do this?"

He tilted her chin up and met her desire with his own.

Hot, electric bolts tingled through her body, curling her toes. A throbbing took her lower stomach, pulsating in time with his heart, whose beat she could feel in her own chest. 

He pulled back for a second and she gasped. "Nope. Still can't think."

"Good. Regardless, I hope you've learned something from this talk?"

Rin shook her head, biting her lower lip against her smile. "I don't think so. I may need another lesson."

"Bad girl."

She giggled, raising up on her toes to kiss him again. 

These were the moments when Gaara felt the strongest.

His desire for control, outmatched by his desire for her hands on him, her lips against his. Rin Ito was a dangerous sensation and if he weren't careful, he was halfway sure, she'd be the ruin of him. 

She broke their kiss and rested her head on his shoulder. "On a realistic note, what do you intend to do about the spy from my village?"

He sighed. "I'm not sure."

Rin pulled away from him, so she could read his expression. "If it's all right, may I speak with them?"

"The prisoner?"

She nodded. "If it's indeed someone from my village, I can at least let you know who and what kind of person they are."

"He has his tongue cut out, Rin. I don't know how much you're going to get out of him. Are you sure the sight won't upset you?"

"Since when am I a greenhouse orchid?"

He looked towards the setting sun. "I don't think of you that way at all. I'm just worried it will do more harm than good."

She placed a hand to his face and turned his eyes back to her. "I'll be fine. I may not be willing to invade another's mind, but I will help the Sand in any way I can. Take me to him."

Gaara held her hand tighter to his face, kissing her palm. "Very well."

~

The walk to the prison wasn't far. Rin was surprised they'd built it so close to the home where the Kazekage stayed. It seemed like a wild security risk to her. 

"It's designed that way on purpose."

She looked up to him. "Why is that?"

"The Kazekage is the strongest member of the Sand Village. If someone dangerous were to escape, I'd rather put my life at risk, than any of my people."

Rin smiled. 

She felt such a staunch difference walking through the village now, then she did this morning. No one stopped to question them or sling verbal barbs at her, there wasn't even more than a whispered threat her way. 

Everyone kept to themselves, offering little more than an inquisitive stare. 

Her heart quieted at the sense of safety she felt beside him. If she could, by some miracle, stay in the Sand, being with Gaara would make it livable. 

The rusty door of the prison opened with a squeak, but the sound barely registered with Rin, over the screaming that echoed up the dark staircase.

She knew nightmares; faced off against monsters great and small, but the sounds coming out of the prisoner's cell, were enough to give her chills.

Whomever they had locked away down there, wasn't human anymore. Nothing human could hold that kind of malevolence in its voice alone. 

Gaara helped her down the last stair and took a torch from one of the posted guards, whose faces looked like they would break from all the screaming they heard that day. 

He put a hand on Rin's shoulder. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Okay, approach slowly."

She nodded, taking the torch from him. Her voice came out stronger than she felt and she steeled herself to face whatever madness waited in the cell. "Hello, I'm Rin Ito from the Sound. Let's see who you are."

The face that greeted her made her stop short, dropping the torch to the ground and slamming her hands over her mouth. 

Gaara bent to retrieve it. "Rin? What's wrong? Who is it?"

Tears spilled down her face, her voice a small, shaking whisper. "H... Haru?"


	24. Demons

Rin thought she knew nightmares. 

Cold hands wrapping around an innocent neck, malevolent eyes glowing red in pitch black hallways, beasts that slithered or crawled or crept, she'd faced them all.

Each one held a purpose, a reason for tormenting their host and it was her job to fight them off.

She brought light to darkness, peace to chaos. 

Ever since she walked into her first mind, she'd seen horror as a profession. Night after night, she gazed into the face of evil and held her ground when it looked back. 

But nothing prepared her for the creature waiting in that cell.

It wore her friend's face, but with a mockery of his charm.

The light from the torches did little to illuminate him, casting cruel shadows across his gangly form, making him seem like a hunched skeleton, with his trail of poking vertebrae.

"Haru?" Her voice reverberated.

He twitched at the sound of it.

The scuffling sounds of hands and knees sliding against the ground, echoed in the tense quiet.

He crawled closer to inspect her, breathing the raspy wheeze of a corpse.

Stuffy, cold air sputtered beyond the wet nub of his severed tongue, which still flicked about in his mouth.

His grubby fingers curled around the bars of the cell, each fingernail split down the middle, the surrounding skin gnawed and scabbed over.

Rin's stomach twisted at the pungent stink of sour milk, letting her know whatever wounds he sustained, were infected. Beads of sweat dripped down his face, pooling in the hollow collarbones. 

Fever. 

She took a step closer, hands plastered over her mouth. "Haru. How...why are you...?"

His eyes, which once held the sparks of mischief, were dull voids in the torchlight. The skin of his face was sallow, sunken in at the cheeks, with dark shadows that seemed too deep to be real. 

He looked like he hadn't eaten a proper meal in weeks, if not months. 

"You know this man?" Gaara's question sounded miles away. 

"I did."

"Who is he?"

Tears trailed down her cheeks in two hot lines. "His name is Haru, he's an experiment of Orochimaru's. Just like me."

"Why are you so upset?" The guard to her right asked, raising a hand to rest on her shoulder, but lowering it when he saw the Kazekage's face.

"Because he was my best friend and..." Her voice choked off in her throat. 

"And?"

Rin sobbed at the jagged scar showing through the prisoner's ripped up shirt. "He was dead."

As if the word were a signal, the prisoner pulled back and forth at the bars, rattling them in a frenzy.

The once soft and comforting voice, that carried her through so many sleepless nights, pitched in a crazed laughter.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Over and over he slammed his head against the steel door, the bars working their way into his skull.

A stream of blood poured from the new crack in his forehead, splattering red against the walls of his cell.

"Haru! Stop!" Rin screamed, stretching her hands out to keep him from doing any more damage to himself.

"Rin, don't!" Gaara tried to grab her, but she grasped the bars before he could. 

In one final smash, that sent a chipped tooth skimming over her cheek, he stilled into an unnatural quiet, panting deep, exhausted breaths.

Rin reached out to touch him. "Haru?" 

Quicker than she could blink, foul hands shot through the bars and latched onto Rin's arm, pulling her against the door and seizing her there.

With a smile, that stretched too far up his face, he brought the pale skin of her arm to his mouth and bit down with full force. 

White hot pain raced up and down her body in waves.

She screamed, trying and failing to pry herself away from the crazed man, who started ripping away at her flesh like a wild animal.

His dirtied, rotting teeth sunk down deep, squishing sounds of blood and tendon and the sickly crunch of bone, filling his mouth.

Suddenly, a great wall of sand shot through the bars, slamming into the prisoner and flinging him against the wall of his cell. 

The force knocked him out cold. 

He slid down the stone wall and fell in a heap on the floor, his body bent like a ragdoll in the darkness.

Rin clutched her bleeding arm to her chest, eyes never leaving the demon who wore her friend's face. "Haru."

Gaara swooped his arms under her legs, lifting her up into his grasp and running her up the stairs. "We need to get you to the hospital."

Though she was jostled from his frantic steps and his broad shoulders kept her from seeing much, Rin's treacherous eyes refused to leave the man, who was not a man, but still held the form of one. 

He wasn't moving. 

"Gaara."

"Shh, it's okay. I've got you."

"No. Make sure he's all right. Make sure Haru is okay!"

He scoffed at her request and nearly pulled the prison door off its hinges. "I don't know who that person was to you in the past, Rin, but I assure you, there's nothing left in him. Forget about his wellbeing and focus on your own."

"But..."

"No."

Gaara's voice held the authority of a general. Between that and the stabbing pain of her arm, she didn't find the strength to argue with him any further. 

~

There was a frenzy of movement in the medical building.

Nurses and doctors, in white coats with pale faces, pulled her every which way. 

The scent of disinfectant, the sounds of machines beeping and people barking orders, made her feel more at home than it should have.

This was the life she knew. This was where she began... where Haru began. 

An older doctor took Rin's arm and held it straight out, dousing it in antiseptic. 

Fire burned her nerves wherever it touched and she tried not to scream. It never helped the situation to scream. 

"Keep control at all times. If you lose control of yourself, you'll never get it back again. Be brave. Be brave." She thought to herself, as they started scrubbing away at the dirt and human saliva already festering in her wound.

"Lord Kazekage, you need to step away."

"No! I'm staying."

"Gaara..."

He tried to come to her bedside, but was shoved back, as another nurse rushed to bring the attending physician his tools. 

"Rin."

Though it felt like her arm was dipped in acid, she managed to keep her voice steady. "You need to get out of the way."

"What?"

She swallowed down the yelp that threatened to claw its way out of her throat. "Let. Them. Work."

Her tone made him pause.

Gaara looked around at the fusing medics, each with their own job to do and him, standing there in the middle of it, useless.

"Right."

He stepped outside of the operating room and tried not to startle when the door slammed behind him.

There may have been no other corner in the world where he would be seen as just another person and not the esteemed leader of his village. 

Inside that room, with those medics, he wasn't powerful or even worth a second glance. That was their kingdom and he was an intruder.

Gaara found his way to one of the chairs and sat down, in a daze. 

The image of Rin's blood, the sounds of her screaming, all of it played in his mind, on some sort of sick repeat cycle. 

He placed his head in his hands. "I never should have brought her down there."

~

Needles, sutures, gauze; these were her companions and soon, they would be her enemy.

Though the doctor knew his craft and the nurses tried their best to be soothing, she knew what was coming and she would be damned if it got the best of her. 

This wasn't the first time she was strapped to a table. 

"We don't have time for anesthesia. The wound is too deep. It's cut through her arteries."

"But, sir!" One of the nurses protested.

"Young lady, brace yourself."

Rin nodded, her good hand squeezing down on the white sheets, which were now stained with her blood. "I'm ready."

"Okay. Here we go."

A rush of his chakra flooded her veins, stitching her tendons back together, piece by painful piece.

Like shards of glass, each nerve ending stung when it found its brother, reminding her how to feel and making her wish she could suddenly stop. 

She focused on the white ceiling above her, trying to distract herself with the holes in the tiles. 

"It's a game I figured out. When they're working on you, breathe in super deep, hold it and count as many holes as you can, before you have to let it out. It almost makes it fun!" Haru's voice filled her memory.

Rin tried to count the holes, but the blurring in her eyes, made even that impossible.

"Haru." She whispered, but her voice fell flat against the shouting around her. 

Once again, she was in a cold, sterile room, crying for her friend, but this time, she wished he'd stayed dead.


	25. Stitches

"Hey 18, what are you doing?" His voice made her jump, spilling her pencils everywhere.

"Nothing!" She squeaked.

She bent down to retrieve her scattered supplies and tried to stealthily hide her drawing behind her back.

"It doesn't look like nothing."

Her lips came to a pout. "Well, it is."

15's face curved into the impish grin she could never stand up against.

He circled around her, his hand to his chin. "Ooo it's something big. Now, what could you be hiding from me?"

She collected her pencils and stood up, trying her best to stay facing him. Whenever he moved, so did she, circling his steps.

Unfortunately, he'd been modified for a different purpose than she and was always faster.

With a weave and a dodge, he managed to get behind her and snatch the paper out from her grasp. "Got it!"

"No!" She cried, standing on her tip-toes, clawing for her prize. 

15 laughed and held it above her head. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"It's not finished!"

She threw herself at him like a squirrel up a tree, fingers grasping.

Though he had to dance around to avoid her hands, he managed to hold her back with one arm and look at the drawing with the other. "Now, let's see what you've done..."

18 stopped fighting and stilled, red shooting across her cheeks. It was too late to escape now.

She held her face in her hands and mumbled. "It's not very good."

He didn't say anything. 

15 moved the drawing away from him and squinted. He lifted it above his head and back down to his eye level, holding his chin, his brow furling. "Is this... me?"

She felt like she could die right then and there. "That was the idea, but clearly you can't tell."

"Wow."

"I know, I know, it sucks. I'm still learning, okay?"

She braced herself for the criticism she'd undoubtedly receive, but when her eyes raised to meet his, his face held an expression she didn't recognize. 

He looked... touched. 

15 sat down on one of the benches provided in their habitats and stared at the drawing, turning it this way and that. "I don't know what to say."

This wasn't the reaction she'd expected, even when it was finished. She never intended to show him, but now that it was out in the open, she wondered why she hesitated?

If she knew she'd get this face, she would have let him model for her, instead of watching him from the sidelines.

There were no mirrors in the laboratory, the most they'd seen of themselves, was in glass tubes or reflections in each other's eyes. 15 had no idea that he had a dimple on his right side or that his eyes creased when he laughed.

In fact, 18 knew what her friend looked like, far more than herself. She could identify him anywhere, but she'd have to think twice about what her eye color was or if she had freckles across her nose. 

A part of her wanted to stay where she was, studying him as she did so often.

There were at least twenty different experiments in the Sound's lab, ranging from children, to ninja in their thirties.

Orochimaru was only interested in young, beautiful bodies for his purposes. When you reached a certain age, it wasn't likely you'd return from one of your sessions, but that was a knowledge none of them liked to dwell on.

Though she did make friends with others around her age and had an affinity for the children, no one called to her the way 15 did.

She gave up her view and sat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm still practicing. When I improve, I'll draw you for real. Okay?"

He leaned over to meet her and smiled. "I think you're doing pretty well, right now. Look at me. I'd venture to say I'm damn handsome."

A bubbling giggle escaped her lips. She shoved him. "I wouldn't go that far."

15 scoffed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm calling it. I'm the most handsome man in the Sound. It's out there in the universe now."

"Phht, what do you know of the universe? We haven't even been outside."

The warmth of his arm around her, the clean scent of his soap, the way her heart raced whenever his deep eyes caught her, all of these things made her think of 15 and the brief moments of happiness he brought her. 

She didn't know anything about the universe or the galaxy, but, to her, 15 was so much more than a handsome man. 

He was her world. 

~

Rin's eyes fluttered opened, scanning the pocked ceiling above her. 

She couldn't remember when she fell asleep or how long she'd been out. Somewhere along in the procedure, they must have sedated her and she wished they hadn't.

If she slept, she'd dream about Haru and she didn't want to think of him a moment longer. 

Haru was dead. The thing in the cell wasn't her friend; it couldn't have been. 

It was a demon, a monster, some cruel trick brought forth by the gods to torment her. But, no matter how she tried, she couldn't think of what sin she committed to earn that kind of wrath. 

Even in the darkness, his stark white hair, his deep blue eyes, the curious gaze when he looked at her, all of those stayed the same, despite the rest of him looking grim. 

Whatever jutsu this was, they found a way to make him look semi-right and that was a level of cruelty, she couldn't comprehend. 

Who would go through the trouble to make him look like that?

It wasn't a coincidence he arrived outside the Sand, a few days after she did. Rin didn't believe in such things. He was connected to her by some outside force. She couldn't think of who, though.

She didn't have any enemies offhand and the Sand was, more or less, happy to receive her.

"Who would do this to punish me?" She questioned out loud. 

"Rin?"

The voice made her startle, unaware there was anyone else in the room. "Kankuro."

The painted face, she'd come to know, leaned closer to her. "You're awake? For real this time?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Good, you've been mumbling for hours. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to answer or not. Sleep isn't my deal like it is yours. You need anything? Hungry?"

She shook her head. 

"Thirsty?"

"No."

His hands drummed up and down on his knees. "Come on, let me do something for you. I feel weird just sitting here."

Rin wanted to be left alone, but she doubted that was possible.

Most likely, Gaara stationed his brother there to keep her safe from any passing villagers with an axe to grind, in her weakened state. 

"Water, I guess."

"Right! Water! I can do that!" He rushed off to get her what she asked and the silence took her. 

Her right arm felt heavy and numb. She didn't want to look at it.

If she could keep herself from seeing the damage, she could pretend it wasn't as bad as she imagined. 

But Rin was a curious creature. 

Though it felt like lifting a weight, she pulled her arm up to inspect it. 

White bandages wrapped it tight, the faint traces of red on the edges, long dried out. She opened and closed her fingers a few times and found them, more or less, flexible. 

She knew Har... the thing in the cell... severed her tendons, but the medic's jutsu repaired them.

Her pinky closed first, then her ring, middle and index finger, each with relative ease, but a dull pain.

When she tried to bring in her thumb, that dull pain stabbed her and she hissed through her teeth. 

So, she wasn't as healed as she thought. 

Though it would probably get her in trouble with the doctors, Rin's curiosity had to be sated. She undid the silver pins keeping her bandages snug and started unwrapping them. 

"Whatever it is, you're okay. You'll be okay." Her voice was a shaky whisper. 

The edges of her wound showed themselves little by little, the crevice widening with each layer of white removed. 

Rin inhaled once and took off the final bandage. 

What greeted her was a battlefield. 

Kankuro reappeared with a jug of water and two glasses. "Okay, I brought your.... oh."

She stared at the remnants of her arm, her expression blank.

He set them down on the night stand and placed his hand behind his head. "Hey, it's not that bad. Really, it just looks worse right now because it's new. It'll fade."

Her knee came up to brace her injured arm, as the other hand reached out to touch it.

The medics numbed her long ago, so she didn't feel the sting of her fingers brushing over the wound, but she could imagine how it would feel when the drugs wore off. 

Rin traced along the punctures of his teeth, ragged and broken.

Ugly, red skin ripped away to show the pink underneath and the trail of sinewy muscle. She didn't think those delicate connections would be the same, despite their efforts. 

She wanted to cry.

It didn't matter that it was hideous or that the scar would permanently mar her skin. It didn't even matter to her that her mobility in that arm would never be the same. 

What stayed with Rin, like a stone thrown into the depths of her inner sea, was what the scar would forever be a reminder of. 

All her memories of Haru were light, each full of sunshine and warmth. Even the one where he was taken from her, though it stayed in her nightmares for years, was at least made slightly better by the knowledge of the last thing he heard.

He died knowing her.

Knowing in his heart that she loved him. Whatever creature he was now, had no idea of that love. 

Kankuro's hand found her other knee and he squeezed it. "I'm sorry."

She nodded.

"I know it hurts now, but it will heal. Oh, and if it makes you sleep better at night, don't worry about that thing coming after you again. Gaara is on his way over there now to deal with it."

"He's what?"

Her eyes finally left the gaping wound in her arm and focused on his face. 

Kankuro met her gaze, his voice filled with death. "You don't think Gaara would let him live after doing that to you, do you?"


	26. I Know Him

"Oh god." She whispered, flinging her legs out of bed.

The sudden change of momentum, made her fall back a few steps, the floor rushing up to meet her. 

Kankuro's hands came to her arms. "What are you doing? Get back in bed."

Rin shook the dizziness out of her vision. "I have to get to him."

"To who?"

"To Gaara! I have to stop him!" 

His face melted into a mixture of confusion and concern. "Stop him from what? Putting down the dog that mauled you? Why would you do that?"

She broke free of his grasp and started towards the door, stopping short when the IVs launched her back towards the bed. 

Kankuro hissed at the sight of bloody tracks left in her arm. "You need to slow down! Come on, get back in bed. You can't stop this."

Rin took hold of the clear pipes and ripped them out of her body. "The hell, I can't."

"Rin, please."

She pushed him off again, but fell with the movement.

He caught her just before she hit the ground. 

The pain meds made her tired and dizzy. 

She knew she lost a lot of blood, but not enough to feel this way. The Sand had access to medications she didn't expect, but she was no stranger to being sedated against her will.

Her tolerance was the only thing fighting against the desire to surrender to their effects. 

At this rate, she wouldn't make it out of the hospital, let alone stop Gaara. 

Her eyes turned up to Kankuro; panicked, frustrated tears streaming down her face. She noticed his hands holding her tight and the idea came to her mind. 

Gently, her fingers brushed his, the connection between them intensified through her chakra. "Please. Please help me stop him."

Kankuro blinked, feeling lost in her gaze. "You can't stop him. No one can."

Her hands came to his face, holding it, so he stayed trapped within her. "I can."

He knew she was doing something to him, some part of his brain knew that it wasn't just her pleading that captivated him this way, but he didn't care. 

For whatever reason, he felt tied to Rin.

He owed her a debt for his brother's happiness and part of him already accepted her as a friend, but there was a bit more than that. 

Kankuro raised his hands to rest on hers and gently pulled them away from his face. "You don't have to manipulate me for this, Rin. I'll take you, if you really need me to."

"I do!"

"Then I'll do it, but you need to promise me something."

"Yes?"

His expression turned deathly serious. "Don't ever try to take my mind again."

She managed a small nod and felt ashamed at her actions. 

Desperate times called for desperate measures, but he was right. She'd said only yesterday, that violating another person's will was against her values and there she was, trying it on the first person who was kind to her in the Sand. 

Kankuro swept an arm under her legs and walked her out of the hospital, the medics shouting after them. "Captain! What are you doing? Put the patient back!"

Rin yelled over her shoulder. "I'm leaving of my own free will! You can't keep me against my wishes!"

They stood, helpless and she suddenly felt a pang of guilt. "Sorry! Thank you for taking care of me!"

The door slammed behind them and Kankuro headed towards the prison. 

Rin's arms were hooked behind his neck, her eyes searching his face. "I'm sorry to you as well, Kankuro. I just felt desperate to go."

"It's fine. Why are you so against this? Gaara is acting out of your interests."

She shook her head. "No, he's acting out of revenge and that's not something I want for him. I don't think you do either."

He was silent, but his arms held her a bit closer. 

By the time they'd reached the prison door, the screaming from the prisoner had started up again.

Rin winced at the crazed sounds and tried to hold herself from crying, as they descended the stairs, one painfully slow step at a time. 

"Please! We need to hurry!"

He scoffed. "I'm not going to rush and fall down ten flights of stairs. We'll get there."

Rin slammed her head against his chest, letting out a frustrated groan. 

The prisoner's screams echoed off the walls, bouncing back at her like an arsenal of madness.

Each step led them deeper into its pit of insanity, until another voice joined, one that terrified her far more than some monster in a cage. 

"You have been judged and sentenced by the Fifth Kazekage of Suna. For the crimes of espionage and the vicious attack on a guest of the Sand Village, I sentence you to death. May your soul find peace in the afterlife."

Kankuro reached the final step, just as Gaara raised his fist, the sand circulating around it like a deadly twister. 

"Gaara! No!" Rin screamed, throwing herself out of her escort's grasp. 

She raced the final distance and wrapped her arms around him. 

"Rin? What are you doing here? Go back to the hospital."

Her chest heaved up and down. "Don't do this."

His eyes searched her face and shot back to his brother, who waited with his arms crossed. "You were supposed to keep her safe. Why would you bring her here?"

Kankuro put his hands up. "She's very persuasive. You try saying 'no' when she's working her jutsu on you."

Gaara grunted. "I highly doubt it came to that. You just gave in."

The captain shrugged in reply. 

Her voice drew his attention and the pain in it, broke his heart. "Gaara, please. I'm begging you."

Rin's face called to him in a way nothing else could.

She pulled away from him and placed her hands on his chest, forcing him to look at her.

The pleading in her eyes was enough to almost make him forget where he was, until the movement behind her, reminded him. 

The prisoner slammed into the bars. He'd been more or less quiet before, a few frustrated screams, but nothing like how he responded when she arrived.

His hands launched out at her, fingers gripping in the air.

He grunted and bared his teeth, like a wild animal kept mere inches from its prey. 

Rin jumped at the sudden crash and stumbled a bit, the medications Gaara insisted on, making her feel weak and sluggish.

She placed a hand on her head, trying to focus through the wave of dizziness begging her to lay down. 

Gaara looked from her, to the crazed man and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Rin. I can't risk you. If he escapes, he'll kill you and I can't live knowing I could have protected you."

He raised his hand again, his eyes narrowing. "Sand coff..."

Rin gathered her strength and flung herself in front of the cage, her arms out wide. "If you kill him, I'll never forgive you! You won't have to worry about protecting me because you will have lost me entirely."

Gaara lowered his hand, his face a mixture of hurt and confusion. "But why? He's not your friend anymore, Rin. He's a monster, can't you see that?"

She turned to look at the prisoner, who was snapping his jaws at her.

The broken teeth made her arm hurt with the memory. His fierce expression looked so foreign on the face, which always held a smile for her. 

She inhaled and tried to keep from crying. She'd cried too much lately.

Her voice came out soft, so soft he almost missed it, but her words were heavy. "Isn't that what people called you, Gaara?"

His jaw dropped, a wave of cold sweat crashing over him. "What did you just say?"

Rin's eyes looked just as hurt as he felt. 

Her hands came to her heart, as if it were breaking just as much as his.

She knew the gravity of what she was saying and the pain she was inflicting, but it couldn't be helped.

She would save both their lives, even if she had to break him to do it. 

"How many people were sent to kill you because that's exactly what they believed you to be? Ten? Twenty? Hundreds?"

"Rin..." Kankuro's voice was threatening, but Gaara raised up a hand to stop him. 

"Go on."

She licked her lips, the salt tasting bitter on her tongue. "I don't know what was done to him to make him like this, but I want to find out. I haven't seen him in years, so it's no coincidence that he arrived at the Sand, a few days after me. This is all connected. If you kill him now, you'll risk the safety of your village."

Gaara's steely expression hadn't changed. 

Rin's hands turned up, beseeching him. "But, more importantly, if you kill him out of revenge for me, you'll be losing a part of yourself too. I won't let that happen."

She took a step closer, her words meant only for the two of them. "You're too precious to me, to lose like that."

He didn't look at her, didn't trust himself to do anything, besides respond in a raspy voice. "How will you do it?"

"The same way I reached you."

"You'd have to be close to him for that to work. Touching him."

Rin nodded. "I know."

Gaara looked up at the prisoner, who slid down the bars, wild eyes still fixed on the only woman the Kazekage ever felt for. 

He sighed. "You'll have one week."

"What?"

"That should be plenty of time for you to see that this idea of yours, is futile. I appreciate your concern for me and my village, but I think you'll come to see, that some monsters..."

His eyes met with the captive's, his voice low and deadly. "Are not as easy to tame as I was."

Rin's heart dropped to the floor. 

She tried to lace her arms around Gaara, but he turned away from her. "Gaara, please, I didn't..."

"Good luck."

He moved to Kankuro and addressed him loud enough, so she would hear. "I want double the amount of guards here at all times. She's never to be alone with the captive, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Gaara!" She cried.

He stopped at the stair, but didn't turn around.

Rin's hands clasped at her chest, her heart breaking with each step he took away from her. "Thank you."

He offered one curt nod and disappeared up the staircase, with not so much as a look in her direction. 

Kankuro put his hands in his pockets. "Well, you got your wish. A week isn't a long time, you better start soon. I'll go get those guards he wanted. I trust you have enough common sense to stay away from the bars until I get back?"

She nodded. 

He sighed and followed his brother up the stairs. 

Rin turned to look at the man, who was actively clawing at the floor of his cell.

She rested her head against the wall, a sudden wave of exhaustion taking her. "I know you aren't a demon."

He stopped scratching and his eyes flashed up at her voice. 

With a running start, he flung himself at the cage and reached for her, snarling. 

Rin steeled herself. "No matter how badly I want to believe you aren't who I think you are, I'd know that chakra and those eyes anywhere."

She stepped closer, but respected Kankuro's wishes and stayed out of reaching distance. "You're Haru, my Haru. I'm going to find out who did this to you and when I do, I'll make them pay."


	27. Step 1:

"Step 1: Make a plan. 

Step 2: Initiate contact.

Step 3: …."

The tip of Rin's pencil broke on the paper; bits of black lead spraying about like a mini-explosion.

She couldn't think of a more perfect metaphor for her life. 

Leaning back in her chair, she tried to come up with a possible solution for how to get close enough to induce Haru.

The wound on her arm was a stark reminder that he'd kill her if she entered the cage and she couldn't cast from outside it. 

The idea to round up some guards and forcefully pin him down appealed, but that wouldn't get her anywhere, his subconscious would reject her instantly. 

She doubted she'd make it past the first level and that kind of casting could really hurt her, as well as his mental health.

"Who knows if there even is a mind to induce? This is a waste of time." Her inner-voice chided. 

Rin's fingers came to her temples, rubbing them in a circle. "Great, even my own thoughts don't believe in me. This is going to be a piece of cake."

Her gaze lifted out the window, at the setting sun.

It painted the clouds with orange fire, the kind that made her think of the last time she'd watched the sky like this; it's beautiful hues of pink, purple and blue, the warm desert breeze, Gaara wrapped sweetly around her... 

She rested her chin in her hand. "I wonder what he's doing right now? Is he going to be able to sleep without me? Will I lose all the progress I made because I put my friend's life over his revenge?"

When she said it like that, it sounded more and more ridiculous. 

It wasn't likely she'd get Haru back the way she remembered him.

This was about finding the culprits, protecting the Sand and by extension, Gaara, from whatever trouble she'd unknowingly brought. 

"And a small part of your own revenge scheme. Funny how you have any right to criticize him, when you're no better. Hypocrite."

She pushed the chair back from the desk and stood, wedging her broken pencil in her knotted hair. 

Her steps went from one side of the room, to the other, pacing in a circle. "Enough brain! Stop beating me up! Focus our energy on more important things."

Not how Gaara's room was only a hallway down from hers or how badly she wanted to make things right with him. 

"How many people called you a monster?"

The memory of her words stung in her mouth. 

Rin wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a chill that came on from nothing more than her own guilt.

What she said was necessary, she didn't regret that aspect of it, but the look on his face, the way his gaze steeled, that stayed with her.

She settled on her bed and closed her eyes. "I just want to say I'm sorry."

Her hands rested on her lap, the now constant sting of her injured arm bringing her out of her sorrow. 

Rin took a deep breath and gathered her resolve. "I don't have any time to lose. The week's countdown has begun. I have to figure out how to help Haru."

She stood, grabbed her bag off the chair and left her room, so another barrage of guilt wouldn't take her. 

The guards, forever posted outside her door, leapt to her side, walking a few steps behind her.

Rin sighed. "Again? Is this really necessary?"

"Ma'am, we've been ordered by Captain Temari to accompany you any time you aren't escorted by one of the commanding officers or the Kazekage himself."

"For how long?"

"Until you leave the village."

Rin scoffed. "And what if I never leave? What if I suddenly relish the thought of sand between my toes and lizards and heat and all that? Will you escort me until I'm old and shriveled?"

The guards looked at each other and the shorter one answered. "We will escort you until other orders are given, ma'am. That's the gist of it."

She hmphed and waited for them to open the door for her, hitching her bag further up on her shoulder. "Well, if I'm going to be stuck with you for the rest of my life, I ought to at least know your names."

They didn't answer. 

Rin turned and placed her hands on her hips. "Come on, now. We can be friends. I promise I'm not that scary."

"Fear has nothing to do with it, ma'am. It's just not proto..."

"If you say 'protocol' to me, I'm smacking you both."

The taller one smirked at her spunk. "It's just not done in the Sand, ma'am."

Rin extended her hand to them. "Well, I'm not from the Sand, so I don't have to play by all its archaic rules. Let's start this right. My name is Rin, and you are?"

They looked at each other, clearly trying to decide whether or not to follow down whatever crazy road she was taking them. 

Her hand wavered. "Not to be rude, but I am recovering from an arm wound, over here."

The shorter guard made the decision and took her hand in his. "My name is Ikki."

She shook it and looked to the other man, who didn't seem as apt to share. 

She blinked demurely in the rising moonlight. "Don't tell me a big, strong man like you, is afraid of a little kunoichi like me?"

He rolled his eyes at her baiting and put his hand out, shaking once. "Kazue."

"Splendid. All right, now that we know each other, let's continue."

Ikki opened the door to the prison and waited for her to cross.

She nodded her thanks to him, but didn't miss how Kazue grunted. "Might as well lay out rose petals while you're at it."

"Shut it."

"Boys." She chastised, taking a torch from the top of the stairs and making her descent. 

The echoing of her footfalls in the damp facility, filled her stomach with knots. 

It smelt stuffy and moist, colder the further down she went.

She'd hoped this meant it stayed cool during the unforgiving days, but she doubted hospitable conditions were on the Sand's priority when they built it.

There were only three cells in the entire building and Haru's was at the end. 

Rin suspected this was because the Sand wasn't known for taking prisoners, before Gaara's reign.

They were more kill-on-sight kind of people. 

Four guards waited outside the cells, as per Gaara's request and Rin felt all their eyes on her at once. 

She stepped forward, clearing her throat. "Good evening, gentleman."

They nodded in response. 

"I assume rumors have already spread in your platoon about what I'm trying to do here and my timeline to complete it?"

Another nod. 

"Great, we're all very chatty." She mumbled to herself. 

Rin set down her bag and approached the first pair of guards. "I know your orders are to keep me from being alone with the prisoner and I don't intend to violate that. How close will you let me get?" 

"As close as you can, while not being within his reach, ma'am. The Kazekage's express orders are to give you space, but keep an eye on you."

A small part of her warmed at the thought of him saying just that.

Even though he was hurt with her words, he didn't doubt her methods or her resolve. 

"Very well. How is he tonight?"

One of the younger guards glanced backwards. "Quieted down about two hours ago. Pitched a fit when you left. I thought he'd never stop screaming."

That made her chest hurt. "I see. Well, I think we'll be in for a lot of screaming, tonight. Here we go."

Rin approached the cell and noticed the line that had been drawn in the dirt. She assumed this was her limit for how far he could reach. 

She peered into the cell and couldn't see anything at first. 

Raising her torch up a bit, she braced herself for what she knew would come. "Haru."

There was a scuffling from the back of the room and the sound of quick steps, as he flung himself against the cage, reaching for her. 

Rin took a step back, swallowing down the yelp that threatened to escape.

Her eyes turned down to the line, making sure she wasn't crossing it. 

Haru snarled and growled, his grubby fingers begging to get a hold of her. He looked at her as if she were a fine meal and he'd been starving for months.

By the curves of his protruding bones, she didn't doubt he had. 

"Okay, Haru. Shhh. It's okay."

She placed the torch in its holder on the wall, the light casting shadows on them both.

After she was sure there was no way for him to reach her, Rin took a moment to fully study him, not with surprise or fear, as she had in the past, but to really get a good look.

He was a shell of the man she knew. 

If her math was correct, it was around ten years since she believed him dead.

The time aged him, but only slightly. If she had to place him, she'd estimate in his late twenties, only three years above her, hence their original numbers of 15 and 18. 

She crouched, so that she was holding onto her knees and watched him bend down with her; reaching, always reaching. 

What was the expression on his face telling her? 

She knew, for whatever reason, he was sent to kill her.

He didn't react so violently to anyone else and, as far as she could tell, she was the only one he'd physically harmed since his arrival. 

"Why are you trying to kill me?" Her voice wavered. 

Rin sat her back against the wall, waiting for him to tire himself out.

She had no intention of being the one to give up first and an exhausted body was much easier to reach than a riled one.

Her hands folded on her lap; her face expressionless, as she made ready to last the night.

It took a long time for him to settle, the bars wore the skin away under his arms and his body bruised from the amount of times he tried to ram himself at the door. 

He'd tried everything to get out. Slipping through the bars, digging at the floor, ramming himself against the walls, each one making her wince.

It took everything inside her not to try and stop him. She hated watching him hold his arm after it hurt or wondering if he broke something. 

After what felt like hours, he finally stopped thrashing and laid down, exhausted from his efforts. 

She let out a breath, her voice taking on the familiar soothing tone, she was famous for. "Haru. I know you can hear me. I know you're tired. Even if you can't understand me, I'm going to keep talking. My hope is to remove whatever trigger is associated with hearing my voice."

He didn't say anything, but moaned and placed his hands over his ears. 

She was right. 

Whoever did this to Haru, was specifically training him to be repelled by her.

The sound of her speaking softly, seemed agony to him. He tried everything to block out her voice, going so far, as to work his ear into the dirt, but it didn't help any. 

"All right. I see where I have to start now. We're going to practice sensory exposure until whatever you've been brought to believe about my presence has passed."

Rin rose from her perch, dusting off her legs. "Thank you Haru. I'll come back tomorrow."

She grabbed the torch and turned to leave, but then felt the whoosh of air, as he lunged at the bars once more, screaming at her. "Aneeeen! Aneeeen!"

Rin closed her eyes, trying not to let him see how much he'd frightened her. 

She turned slowly and addressed him. "I'll be back tomorrow."

He rattled the cell door, banging his head against it and tearing at his already ripped clothes. 

Rin returned the torch to one of the guards and nodded her goodbye. 

Ikki and Kazue were waiting on the stair and by the late hour, she could see they were ready to head home as well. "You know, I'm going to be here until late every night. You don't have to stay with me, if you have families to go home to."

They stood and stretched. "No can do, ma'am. You're stuck with us."

"Goodie."

The walk back through the deserted streets of the Sand was lonely. Rin curled her arms around herself and sighed.

She didn't know if she was any closer to helping Haru, but at least, she'd figured out one small piece to his madness puzzle. 

Tomorrow, she'd try a different tactic to reach him and write down her results. 

She'd almost made it back to the mansion, when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. "Somebody's watching me."

Rin twisted around, glancing up and down the empty alleys. 

Ikki was the first to speak. "Something wrong?"

She scanned the darkness, trying to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from.

After a moment, she shook her head. "No, I think I'm just tired. Let's go."

"Roger that."

But, as all good ninja learn, it's wise to trust your instincts.

The figure in the darkness watched her go inside and turned towards the prison, the image of her face locked in his mind.

"So, that's the famous Sleepwalker Ninja? We'll see what she's capable of."


	28. Sky and Sand

The Way of the Shinobi

"No."

Battle vs War: A Free Study

"Nope."

Guide to Sand Ethics and Codes of Conduct

"Interesting, but no."

Rin shuffled through volume after volume; every book, text, manuscript, anything she could get her hands on. 

The Sand's library left much to be desired. 

She found a wealth of knowledge on martial arts, trading and desert climates, but nothing close to what she was looking for. 

Another trip up the rickety ladder, to the top shelf, and she'd start considering having her books shipped over from the Sound. 

"How can they not have it?" She muttered to herself, fingers skimming over another round of titles, that had nothing to do with her subject. 

"Is there something you're looking for, young lady?" A voice made her jump, nearly sprawling off the ladder. 

Rin righted herself and looked down at the librarian. "Yes, actually. Where is your children's section?"

The older woman put a hand to her chin. "Hm, now there's a question I don't hear too often."

"Do the children in this village not read?"

The librarian placed her hands on her hips. "Of course, they do! Sand children are just as educated as other villages. They just have different priorities."

Rin slid down the ladder and crossed her hand over her heart. "Forgive me, if my question seemed rude. I'm looking for one book in particular. It's called 'the Little Ninja and the Great Tree.' Have you heard of it?"

"Hm... nope. Doesn't sound familiar."

Her face fell. "Oh, that's too bad."

The rows of militant books glared at her, each one another dead-end.

Rin let out a sigh and turned back to her search, when the librarian coughed. "If you want a children's section, the closest we have are fairy-tales. But I promise the selection won't be as grand as you seem to be used to."

Rin stretched her arms above her head, wincing at the ache in the right. "I'll be grateful for whatever you have. Would you point me in the right direction?"

"This way." The older woman meandered along.

Her hunched back and squinty eyes reminded Rin of a turtle and her near rage-inducing shuffle speed, wasn't helping the visual at all.

"It's fine if you want to just tell me where it is. I can probably find it on my own."

"Nope."

Rin's hands balled into fists at her sides, fighting to keep her voice pleasant. "Really, I don't want you trouble yourself. I'm sure you're very busy."

"Not busy."

"Clearly..." She muttered under her breath.

After what seemed like an eternity, they FINALLY crossed to the other side of the library and the tortoise-woman lifted her curved finger. "Back here, third row on the right."

"Great! Thank you."

"Mm hm."

She ambled off to her desk, but not before quipping. "Make sure you don't take too long. I don't have all day, you know?"

Rin took a deep, cleansing breath. "You can't kill old ladies. You can't kill old ladies. You can't kill old ladies."

Shaking off her thoughts of senicide, Rin set to work on the children's section, which could hardly be called that. 

Her tongue clicked against her teeth. "Are they serious? There's only four books here!"

She picked up one of the books and the edges of the pages crumbled beneath her fingertips. "Oh, come on!"

The sun peeked through the back window, illuminating the cloud of dust circling her, as she blew off one of the fairy-tale books. 

"The Sand Queen." She weighted that one in her hand and then set it aside for later.

Images of a warrior queen came to her mind, much different than the stories she collected for her younger clients. 

Rin's home was a treasure trove of relaxation items; nearly everything she owned, pertained to her job in some way. 

Sitting in the lonely library, with the scent of dusty books, warm sunlight and the quiet, she suddenly felt a pang of home-sickness.

If she were there, she'd have access to everything in her arsenal; all her herbs, lotions, garden, books, music, everything she'd ever need to induce, right at her fingertips. 

Her head leaned back against the shelves. "I'd be able to help him so much easier in the right environment. What peace can I bring in a dark cell, with armed guards surrounding it?"

She sighed, turning her gaze upwards. "If anyone is listening, could you give me a sign please? Is this even worth trying?"

Silence. 

"Worth a shot."

Rin put away the books she'd displaced, trying to arrange them as she found them. The last one wouldn't go settle properly. "Come on, I know you're desperate for attention, but you aren't what I'm looking for."

She tried again to push the novel back in, to no avail. 

Sliding her fingers behind it, she gasped when they felt something hidden in the back. "No... it can't be."

She took hold of the book and pulled it out, the smile on her face lighting up the dark room.

Rin held it to her chest and glanced back up. "That'll do."

~

Ikki and Kazue were waiting to greet her outside the library. They'd switched shifts with another pair, who weren't as apt to be friendly with her.

If she were honest with herself, she preferred her first two anyway, they were growing on her as much as she was on them. 

"How can the Sand give me armed escorts round the clock AND guard Haru at the same time? Seems like a waste of resources."

Ikki walked with his hands behind his head, clearly more relaxed in her presence than Kazue, who was as stiff as always. "Times have been peaceful since the Great War. We're all itching for something to do and it's either this or wall duty."

Her eyes flicked up to him. "Which would you prefer?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but Kazue cut him off. "All missions are important to the Guard. They're equal."

Rin glanced back and then turned her attention to Ikki, her voice a thinly veiled whisper. "You prefer me, right?"

"Yep."

"So does Kazue?"

Ikki smirked. "Kazue is proper soldier. He'd never place emotional attachment to an assignment."

She could feel Kazue's pride flare at that comment, but he stayed quiet. 

Ikki winked at her and gave a quick nod, which made her smile.

On days like this, it almost felt like her life wasn't in the turmoil she'd found for herself.

She walked through the Sand easily, listening to the bustling market and the buzz of chatter. If it were any other time, she would have stopped to explore a bit. 

A stand of jewelry caught her eye. The desert had many things she didn't favor, but their collection of unique gems and stones was unparalleled.

For being such combative people, they'd mastered an exotic sense of beauty, as well.

One necklace in particular caught her attention.

She stepped closer and marveled at the craftsmanship. "Oh my, this is lovely."

"You like that?" The shop-keep inquired. 

"Yes, what is it? The color is so unique and yet I feel like I've seen it before."

He took the necklace off the rack and held it up to the light. "That would be turquoise. Hard to find in the desert, so it fetches a bigger price. We have a legend, if you'd like to hear it?"

Her eyes turned to the prison door and what waited down there for her. 

She took a breath. "Yes, please. It sounds like I'll be needing some good stories to tell."

The man weighted the blue stone in his hand. "It's the story of the Sky Prince and the Sand Maiden."

Rin settled into the lone chair in the shop and listened, her heart smiling at the name. 

"Long ago, before there were trees or rivers or streams, there was only the kingdom of the sky and the land of sand. The Sky King's youngest son, Sora, went hunting, riding through the clouds on his mighty steed.

It was a special night that would change the Prince's life forever, for he wasn't hunting game or goods. He was hunting a comet, said to grace the sky once every five hundred years."

Rin felt her imagination start to weave the pictures and almost missed when a young body came to stand next to her.

She glanced to the side and saw a crowd of around five children, who drifted in from the heat, to hear the story.

One small hand rose. "Mr. Hiro, why would he try to catch a comet? You can't eat a comet."

There were nods of agreement. 

The shop-keeper, Mr. Hiro, became more animated with his new audience. "He wasn't hunting it for a meal, he was hunting it for a ride."

"Ooh."

"If Prince Sora could catch the comet and ride it, he'd be able to tell his father that he was worthy of ruling the Sky Kingdom."

Rin listened intently, but was surprised when one of those small bodies climbed his way onto her lap, still transfixed on the story.

She froze, uncertain of the protocol for the Sand's youth, but by the way that little face filled with wonder at the words and how he wrapped his arms behind her neck, absently playing with her pony tail, while he listened to the story, Rin just smiled and pulled him closer. 

"So, the Prince set off to catch the comet. He searched and tracked and planned for it, but when the comet arrived and he pounced off his steed, he found the force to be far greater than he expected. The comet wasn't going to be tamed and it sent him on the ride of his life. 

He shot across the sky, the cold trail of fire plummeting him to the ground, a place no one from his kingdom dared to venture."

There was a small gasp from the crowd of children. "Was he okay?"

Mr. Hiro smiled. "Yes, because waiting at the bottom, walking through the waves of earth, was the lovely Sayo, the Sand Maiden. Thinking the fallen prince was a shooting star, she went to investigate and have her wishes granted. 

Legend says, when she set eyes on the Sky Prince and he on her, their love shook the earth, forcing the ground to move and shape the caverns you see around the village."

There was a chorus of "ooo" and "ahh" from the crowd and Rin felt herself swept up in the story, just like the rest of them.

Mr. Hiro missed his calling.

"Did they get married, Mr. Hiro?"

The shop-keeper shook his head sadly. "No. The Sky and the Sand cannot live as one and when his wounds were healed, Sora was called back to his kingdom."

"Awww. Poor Sayo."

"Yes, it's said that her tears flowed so fast and so strong, that she filled up the caverns their love created and from her sorrow, the ocean was born. 

Before Sora left, he broke off a piece of his armor and placed it in her hand. That way, she'd always have a part of him, even after he returned. And to show that he wouldn't forget her, he'd continue to drop small pieces of sky into her sand, so she could find them and she'd know his love was still true. 

That's why we collect the turquoise; to honor the love of the Sky and the Sand."

There was a deep sigh from all the little girls and a few rolled eyes from the boys, but Rin didn't notice, over the one who had fallen asleep in her arms.

She brushed his hair out of his face, smiling at how he sucked his thumb. 

She stood up, cradling the boy in her arms and searched for his mother.

What she found instead, was exactly why she'd seen the blue color before and his eyes were directly in front of her. 

"Gaara!"

"Rin."

The children scattered, each running back to tell their parents the story and Rin stood still, holding a child who wasn't hers, and trying not to show how incredibly awkward she felt. 

"What brings you out to the market?" She asked, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. 

"My usual walk through the village. I like to keep an eye on things. Let my people approach me, if they wish."

"Oh, that's wise."

Rin hitched the boy up slightly and blushed when Gaara's attention turned to him.

She cleared her throat. "I know this looks odd."

To her surprise, he didn't agree with her or ask any further questions.

He just reached out a hand and patted the boy's head, his voice soft. "He looks so peaceful. I'm jealous. Your arms are a wonderful place to rest."

"Gaara, I... I want to apologize."

He shook his head. "There's no need."

"I shouldn't have said what I did, I was just worried about Haru."

"I know."

Gaara motioned for a woman, Rin could only assume was the toddler's mother. She bowed before the Kazekage and took her boy from Rin, with a sheepish smile. 

Not knowing what to do with her hands, Rin laced them behind her back. "So..."

"You should get to your friend. The sun is about to set."

She looked up at the sky and knew for a fact, it would be at least another few hours until then.

The message was loud and clear.

"Yes, I suppose I should."

"Well, good day, then."

He started to walk away and Rin felt her heart begging to follow. "Gaara?"

The Kazekage turned and waited. 

She smiled awkwardly and held up the turquoise necklace. "It's the same color as your eyes."

"I suppose, it is." He bowed his head to her and continued on his path, but Rin didn't miss the way his face reddened at her observation. 

Ikki and Kazue came to either side of her. "Shall we proceed, then?"

"Yes." She said absently. 

Rin paid the shop-keep the price listed and a little more for the story. 

When they opened the prison door and she started climbing down the long staircase, her fingers came to the piece of sky around her neck and squeezed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legends are so much fun to create! What are your favorites?


	29. Aneen

Rin didn't think she'd ever get used to the scent of the underground prison.

The cold, mildew smell reminded her of death and ever since she started to live as her own person, Death wasn't allowed to make his presence known to her. 

Experiments were eliminated on a daily basis.

Anyone who wasn't seen fit for the mission or stunted in their progress, were tossed aside for a new model; their DNA replicated and manipulated for the best results. 

It was foolish to feel attachment to any one person. 

But, when she approached the familiar cage, her feet staying safely behind the line, it was clear she'd never honor the detachment she'd preached to herself. 

Haru's worn face was enough to make her forget. 

He sat, facing the east wall, his hands hanging limply in his lap. 

The men in charge of guarding him, gave her presence a brief acknowledgement, but stayed quiet. 

Rin took the opportunity to try and get herself settled, before he noticed she'd arrived. 

Shuffling inch by inch, she bent her legs and sat against the cold wall, undoing the clasps on her bag. 

Haru hadn't moved; his deep eyes focused on one upper corner of the cell 

"What's he looking at?" She wondered. 

There wasn't anything hanging there, that should warrant that kind of fixation. 

Her fingers found the edge of her notebook and slid it onto her lap, pencil at the ready. 

Years had passed since she drew Haru, but it seemed like her hands remembered his shapes even better than her mind did. 

As if time and death hadn't separated them, the pencil slid down the paper in graceful strokes, capturing his image piece by piece; though now he was haggard and lacked the light she craved. 

Her eyes glanced back up to her model and the curve of his shoulders, which slumped into the lazy position he took.

The cuts and bruises peppering him were new, probably from his own hand, but there were marks that never existed before. 

A crisscross of intricate scars, laced down his arms and torso, some shallow and small, others so deep, she wondered how he still functioned properly?

It hurt her to draw his protruding vertebrae and hollow cheekbones, the shading nearly using up all her pencil. 

She reached into her bag and pulled out a piece of charcoal for the space surrounding him and the shadows under his eyes.

Up until recently, they would have been the deepest she'd ever seen. 

Gaara's face came to her mind on that first day. How his gaze trapped her in its exhaustion. 

Despite herself, a small smile came to her face. He'd taught her so much in so little time. 

Rin set the notepad down, her heart sad when she thought. "I've gotten better since the last time I drew him."

The attention to detail made his transformation all the more real, as she slid her knees up to her chest, holding her arms around them. 

It was tempting to stay in this comfortable silence; to keep watching him and pretend like the howling animal he'd become, wasn't real.

But progress never comes from staying in what's comfortable. 

She took a breath, steeling herself for the next part, her voice quiet and controlled. "Haru."

He twitched at the sound, his eyes finally drifting away from the spot they were captured by and finding her in the warm afternoon sunlight. 

For a moment, it almost seemed like he'd stay in the calm state, she found him in. 

His expression was curious. 

Rin's heart picked up speed in her chest. "Haru?"

His joints popped and cracked when he moved, making her wonder how long he'd been staring at the east corner before she'd arrived? 

He crawled closer, eyes never changing from their inquisitive stance.

She froze in her spot. 

Haru came to the cell door, pulling his legs underneath him and staring at her.

Rin's trembling hand raised, wondering if this were her opportunity to get closer?

His eyes drifted from her face to her hand and his broken, dirtied fingers found their way up to reach hers.

Then the screaming started.

The wild animal woke from its stupor, coming to the bars and grabbing at her. 

She sighed, dropping her hand to her knees, certain she'd imagined that he was trying to match her expression, before.

"Okay, let's pick up where we left off, then."

He dipped and bobbed and tried to find a way to her, but Rin turned her attention to the guards closest to the cell. "How has he been eating? He looks even thinner since yesterday."

"He hasn't."

Her brow drew together. "He won't eat what you bring him?"

The guard didn't meet her gaze. "We weren't sure if the Kazekage was going to kill him or not, so we haven't been bothering."

Rin's jaw dropped, her feet shooting up beneath her. "You've been starving him?! What kind of torturing asshole are you? Get him some damn food, this instant!"

The guard gestured to the bowl of moldy bread. "It's right there. Go ahead if you want to be the one to get close enough to give it to him. He smells half-dead anyway."

Her face turned a crimson red, fury pounding in her chest, radiating down to her toes. "You can't be serious! He can't be expected to eat this. He needs real food and medical treatment. That smell you're complaining about, is infection. He has a fever! This is cruelty."

"Take it up with the Kazekage, then."

"I refuse to believe he knows about this. Gaara wouldn't allow this kind of treatment."

"That's Lord Gaara, to you, bitch. If you ask me, you've gotten too comfortable here. I think we should be rid of both you and that animal in the cage. Clear the Sand of the Sound's influence."

"Animal?"

The sergeant spit at the cell door, hitting Haru square in the eye. "You heard me. He's more dog than man, even yelps like one when my boot meets him. Waste of resources."

Rin's jaw clenched. 

She'd seen this kind of man before; knew what language he spoke. 

Haru's fresh bruises made sense.

Her steps brought her mere inches from his face. 

The voice that escaped her lips was low, dripping in venom. "You listen to me, you son of a bitch. If you don't get out of my sight and find a doctor who will treat him, I'm going to reach my fingers into your mind and scramble it like an egg."

"You don't frighten me, kunoichi."

Rin's lips curved into a wicked smile, as she grabbed hold of his arm, her chakra fusing with his.

A flash of memories came to her vision, just as dark and wicked as she assumed. 

She pulled him close, her lips at his ear. "I may not, but your father certainly did, didn't he? When he locked you in that shed, the sound of his belt unbuckling..."

The guard's breath caught in his throat. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Get me my doctor and you won't have to worry about what I know, Puppy."

"Pu...Puppy?"

Rin broke her chakra contact with him; her eyes deathly serious. "Isn't that what he used to call you, in private? Every time he visited you and breathed in your ear? Before you stuck those sheers in his neck?"

His voice was a shaking whisper. "You can't know that. How do you know that?"

"I know you, Sergeant. You like to hurt people. It's why you've felt misplaced since the war ended. You've lost the outlet you needed for dealing with the pain you're carrying, and I'll tell you one more thing I know."

Her fingers trailed up to his face, holding his chin, so he was looking at her. "If I find out that you've hurt my friend again, I'll do things to you, you can't imagine. I make a business out of nightmares, Puppy, you don't want to make me yours." 

By the way his eyes welled up and the explosion of goosebumps raising on his arms, she knew she reached him.

The guard swallowed his fear and turned away from her, going up the staircase. 

"Sergeant? Where are you going? Relief hasn't been assigned yet."

He froze on the stair and barked at his troops. "I'm going to get a damn doctor! Maintain position until I arrive!"

"Yes, sir!"

Rin watched him leave, body trembling in anger.

Her attention turned to the moldy bread they'd been offering. 

Haru stopped struggling to reach her and was rubbing his eye, trying to get the sting of the guard's spit out of it. 

She sighed and grabbed the loaf. 

Her steps brought her behind the line and she sat cross-legged, facing him. "I'm sorry, Haru. I had no idea."

He didn't acknowledge her.

She looked at the bread and picked away at the moldy bits, finding some untouched parts in the middle. "Hey, remember the first time we ate cake?"

Haru started pacing, his hands flexing open and closed, her voice wearing on him. 

Rin smiled sadly. "It was that nice scientist. Mai, I think her name was. She was always gentler than the others. Remember when she snuck us in cake, that one time? I'd never tasted anything like it. You said you could eat it every meal, for the rest of your life and not get tired of it."

His hands raised to his head, holding it, the pain of something unknown to her, radiating in his face. 

She held the safe parts of the bread in her hand. "It's not cake, by any means, but I know you're hungry. Come eat, Haru."

Rin knew there was no way to get close enough to hand it to him and they weren't giving her any plates to help.

Her eyes looked around for some way to feed him, without just throwing the bread in the dirt. 

Haru stopped pacing, when he saw her scooching closer to the cage, a painful-sounding groan lifting from his throat. "Aneeeen!"

She jumped at his voice, when he reached for her through the door, but not in the way he'd done in the past.

This wasn't the frantic stretching of trying to reach prey, it looked like he wanted her attention.

"Aneen? What is that?"

His broken fingers grasped at the air around her, the frustration clear in his eyes. 

Rin looked down at her bag and saw her notebook. "Let's try this."

She placed the bread on her stiff paper and slid it underneath the small slit of the door. 

Haru shifted from grabbing at her, to pouncing on the bread, devouring it in hungry gulps. 

The sound of his growling stomach and chomping jaws, made her heart hurt. "I'm going to get you help, Haru. I promise."

His eyes turned up to her, slamming the notebook to the ground and beating his hands against his head. "Aneeen! Aneeen!"

"I don't know what that is, Haru."

"Aneeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!" He howled. 

Her hands came to her face, frustrated tears streaming down her face. "What are you saying?"

Haru slid down to his knees, throwing his fists in the dirt, smacking the ground over and over until she looked up at him. 

To her surprise, there were tears in his eyes too. The expression on his face wasn't predatory or crazed, it was helpless. "Aneen!"

She stared at him, trying to comprehend this word. "Aneen?"

Haru nodded. 

Rin gasped at the acknowledgment.

She rose up on her knees, trying to keep this moment of clarity in her friend. "What is that? What are you trying to say?"

He opened his mouth, the nub of his tongue flicking away in the darkness. 

She focused on the way it moved, her own mouth mimicking the pattern. "Aneen... aneen....anee... eighteen! You're saying 18!"

He nodded again, the edges of his mouth curling into a fraction of a smile. 

Rin gave a gasping laugh. "You're saying my name. The name you remember me being called for most of our lives. 18! 18!"

The calm on his face dissolved into pain, as he shot his hands up to his head, gripping it. 

Haru fell to the ground, squirming under whatever triggered his agony. 

Rin rose to her feet, over-stepping the line and grabbing the bars. "Haru!" 

"Ma'am! Get away from the cell!" The guards shouted, seizing her arms and pulling her away. 

Rin's legs kicked in the air, trying to get back to Haru. "No! Don't you see what's happening, you idiots?! Someone is hurting him! Someone doesn't want him to remember me! Let me go!"

All at once, Haru's eyes met her and he pounced from his crouch, slamming at the bars and reaching for her again. 

Whatever came over his mind, it told him to kill her now, or else more pain would continue.

She'd reached him before, there was a small part of Haru still in there.

This meant someone was watching, listening, and they punished him for communicating with her. 

This changed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know there hasn't been a lot of Gaara in these recent chapters, but hang tight. He's coming back! I hope you're all enjoying. I adore comments so much! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your continued support. You mean the world to me!


	30. The Stand of the Kazekage

"Lord Kazekage, please, your attention is needed here."

Gaara came out of his thoughts when a folder, brimming with budget reports, slapped down on his desk.

"Another one? This is the eighth folder I've been through today."

His secretary pulled up a pile of papers and struggled to fit them all on his desk.

She wiped her brow and sighed. "The price of peace, Lord Gaara. We had to borrow from other villages for our resources during the war; rations, medical supplies, basic needs to keep our people thriving. Unfortunately, that means we now have to filter through all our receipts and start managing how to best pay them all back."

He felt a headache coming on. 

Gaara poked at one from the Village Hidden in the Clouds. "What did we borrow from them?"

The mousey girl flicked up her glasses. "Weaponry, my Lord."

"Couldn't we just give them said weapons back?" Gaara grumbled.

The long list of numbers made his eyes cross, the headache growing with each minute he stayed focusing on them. 

He leaned back in his chair, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Lord Gaara?"

"Yes, Kai?"

She hugged the folders closer to her chest. "You seem to be in pain, sir. Would you like me to help?"

He peeked one eye open. "How would you help?"

Kai looked away from him, a slight blush rising in her cheeks. "I could go over these budget reports and sign for you? It's all the same process after a while, just addressing it to the various needs of each village. If you'd like to go do something else, I could take this off your plate."

Gaara took in the piles of paperwork that never seemed to shrink, he'd be lying if the offer wasn't tempting. "No, this is my responsibility as Kazekage. I should see it through."

"But..."

Suddenly, the doors to his private study were thrown open with a crash and a woman with fire in her eyes, stood before him. 

"Gaara! We need to talk, right now!"

He blinked a few times, trying to process the words she was yelling at him.

He looked behind her at the guards, who were panting and rushing into the room. "Our deepest apologies, Lord Kazekage! We tried to stop her!"

Gaara closed the folder and laced his hands in front of his face. "It's fine. Back to your posts."

They bowed to him and the doors closed, leaving a furious Rin, standing side-by-side, a much meeker Kai.

The comparison was astounding. 

"How can I help you, Rin?"

Her face was flushed, hair tussled, as if she'd broken free from a scuffle. By the way his guards were heaving, it wouldn't surprise him, if she had. 

She came closer to the desk. "Did you have any idea that the men you placed in charge of Haru..."

"The prisoner."

Her mouth slid to an angry line. "Fine. Did you have any idea that the man you placed in charge of the PRISONER, hasn't been feeding him for the past three days?"

"What?"

"Oh, you didn't? Then are you aware that he's also been beaten, deprived of medical attention and treated like a caged animal?"

"No, I was not aware."

Rin shook her head. "How in the world, could you have placed that terrible sergeant in charge of the prison? He's cruel and perverse. He should be strung up by his boots and left out for the vultures! His guts should be on display for all to see!"

The tiny gasp beside her, didn't even register with Rin, until Gaara rose from his seat. 

She waited for him to approach her, but instead, he passed by and placed a hesitant hand on a young woman's shoulder. "My apologies, Kai. Why don't you take the rest of the day off? I can handle these reports on my own."

The woman looked like she was going to cry, but nodded and bowed her head. "Yes, sir."

Gaara waited until the door closed, before turning around to face Rin. "Well, that was pleasant."

"I'm sorry if my description was too vivid, but I stand by it. That man is a monster, he's vile, he's..."

"My secretary's husband."

Rin's jaw dropped, mid-sentence. "Oh."

"Yes, oh, indeed."

She felt caught, an embarrassed feeling sinking in her stomach. "I apologize for upsetting her, but I'm more disturbed at the knowledge that he's married at all. Let alone to that shy girl."

"They have a son, too."

The images she'd seen of his father in the shed, belt buckle in hand, made her cringe. 

Rin hoped, for both their sakes, that history wouldn't repeat itself in the next generation.

By the cruelty of his mind, she didn't doubt it already had. 

"Regardless, how can you place a man like that in charge of the prisoners?"

"He's the best interrogator in the village. Seemed like the perfect place for him."

"I pity the Sand's enemies, if he's allowed to handle them. They'll be nothing left when he's through."

Gaara's eyes caught her. "That's the point."

Rin stopped the pacing she'd started and stared at him, that sinking feeling turning into a full, downward plummet. "Do you support that kind of cruelty, Gaara?"

He brushed past her and looked out the window, hands laced behind his back. 

It felt like he wouldn't answer at first, and when he did, she wished he hadn't. "I support keeping my people safe. Their health and happiness, are my main concerns."

"At what risk? Isn't this terrible reputation what the Sand is trying to escape? Are you going to continue to deprive him of basic human rights for your own gain?"

"Rin." His tone was sharp, the anger building.

She took a breath and stepped closer, trying to calm herself. "Please, I can't stand to see him in there anymore."

"What are you asking me to do?"

Rin knew it was a bad idea, but she couldn't help it.

The sight of his fresh bruises, the starkness of his bones, the faint smile he gave, that let her know he was trapped in his own mind, all of it drove her forward. "I want you to release him into my care."

"What?"

"I can't induce in that prison. It's far too cold and unpleasant. I need to relax him and then I can try to make progress."

"You want me to release a physically dangerous and mentally unstable man into my village?"

Rin stepped closer to him, disturbed he hadn't turn to look at her. "I know you don't like the idea, but I need this from you. Please, he's going to die in there."

"I can't do that."

"You must! Please, please, for me, release him into my care and I'll help him."

"No."

Her anger flared again, the fierce temper that so often took her reason, dripping in her words. "You can't be serious. Tell me, Gaara, is THIS how the Sand treats people from the outside? When are you going to shake off the traditions of the past and be better? When are you going to realize that cruelty isn't going to make this village any...?"

"And when are you going to realize that I'm not a normal man?!"

Rin stopped short. 

Gaara turned around from the window, the blaring sun shadowing his frame. "I'm not some run-of-the-mill shinobi. I can't bend to your every whim because you demand it of me. I can't have you bursting into my office whenever something is upsetting to you and in turn, have you upset my staff."

"But I..."

"I am the Kazekage, Rin. Why can't you understand that?"

"I do."

"You don't. Clearly, you don't, or you wouldn't be in here, putting your friend's needs above what my security deems necessary. Placing my people at risk and then having the nerve to ask me to do it for you. I can't do that for you."

Her head dropped, the corners of her eyes brimming with frustrated tears. 

She knew he was right.

It was ludicrous to ask him for this, but she still had to try. Haru wasn't going to make it much longer. 

Gaara sighed, his anger subsiding. 

The sounds of his steps as he approached her, echoed numbly in her ears. His hand came under her chin and gently tipped it up. "Rin."

She didn't say anything. 

"Rin, please, look at me."

Though she wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, her eyes drifted up.

Gaara's expression seemed so much older than it should.

She knew that gaze had seen far more than hers. He walked in worlds of death and torture first hand and felt a loneliness she couldn't hope to understand; the vast, aching loneliness that came with leadership and couldn't be shared with her.

His voice was soft. "I'm sorry."

She sniffled. 

He pulled her close and he rested his forehead against hers. "I want to give you the world, Rin. My first instinct is to do what makes you happy, but I can't this time. I can't put my people's lives at risk for your friend or your village, not even for you."

Her hand came to rest against his, cupping it to her face, her voice small and broken. "He'll die in there, Gaara. He's getting worse."

"I didn't think that was possible."

"It's worse because today I saw him for the first time. I saw the real Haru in there. Someone is controlling him."

Gaara froze and pulled away from her, so he could see her eyes. "Why do you think that?"

"I reached him. He said my number from the laboratory. He knew me and then, it was like someone reached in his head and crushed his mind as punishment. Whomever is controlling him, can see me, can hear our interactions. I don't know how, but it's true."

The Kazekage thought this over. "That means the threat is in our walls."

"I think so."

His arms dropped from Rin and he raced to the door, calling out to the guards. "Bring me Captains Temari and Kankuro, this instant! Tell them to go to the Hole, they'll know what it means."

"Yes sir!" They quickly left to do as he asked. 

Gaara seized Rin's hand and took her to a section of the wall, that moved under his hand.

She startled at the sudden opening and stared into the hidden passageway. "What are you doing?"

"Getting you to a safe place. If what you say is true, we're in more danger, than I thought."

He pushed her in and she turned to face him. "But, what about Haru?"

Gaara joined her inside and even in the darkness, she could feel his intense gaze. "You're going to get your wish after all. We're moving him from his cell, to the underground facility."

"The prison already is underground. How much further down can we go?"

His hand took hers, helping her descend the dark staircase, holding her body close to his. "You have no idea."


	31. The Hole

Down, down, down, why did it always seem like she was going down in this village?

Everything in the Sound was up; lots of stairs, observatories, anything to show physical prowess. Even her house, was at the top of one of many hills surrounding the central village. 

But in the Sand, Rin found more than one passage beneath its borders. She wondered if this were military strategy or simply because not all things could be done in the heat of the desert sun?

Either way, it also made her question if whole cities could be found underground or if anything in the Sand was as it seemed?

Gaara's hand on her lower back steadied her steps and she tried not to focus on how it felt to have his warm body pressed behind hers.

Whatever emergency they'd found themselves in, was far more important than any passing romantic thoughts she had and yet... 

"We're almost there." His voice was a quiet whisper in the darkness.

"And there is?"

They came to a door, so large and imposing, Rin wondered if it were used to keep people out or, even more disturbing, keep something in?

It seemed more like a fortified gate than a single entrance.

Gaara's hand waved across the metal frame, his fingers flexing and pulling backwards. "Sand Extraction."

Rin's retreated a few steps, skipping over her own feet, when out from the tiny holes in the door, a wave of sand emerged, circling around his fist. 

Gaara twisted and bent the cloud, before slamming it back against the door and nudging it open enough for them to squeeze through. 

"After you." He said, releasing the sand to the ground. 

"That's amazing! Are you the only one who can open this door, then?"

"Originally my father could, with his gold dust, but I've adjusted."

"Fascinating."

Rin tried to slide her body through the crack in the door, only to find herself stuck at her hips.

She tried again and turned her head to look at her guide. "Um, Gaara?"

"Yes?"

"While I'm flattered you think I'm that thin..."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

He came behind her, his hands finding their way to her hips. She felt his fingers press against the side of the door, opening it a mere fraction further and gently nudging her into the dark room. 

Rin cleared her throat, brushing her hair behind her ear and trying to ignore the slight quickening of her heart. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

The way her feet echoed, made her feel as if she'd been in this place before. It reminded her of the last time she walked through Gaara's mind. Compared the last few days, that felt like a lifetime ago.

He took her hand and stepped to the middle of the room, clapping his hands together. 

All at once, the familiar buzz of electricity, she hadn't heard since coming to the Sand, filled her ears.

Rin twisted around when light after light ignited, filling the once dark space with near daylight. 

It amazed her how such a sound could send shivers down her spine. 

Electricity was a wonderful thing, but here, in this room she'd know no matter if it were in the Sound or the Sand, she felt trapped in the static waves.

The scent of antiseptic and controlled oxygen, the sound of machines and humming electricity, she knew them like the back of her hand. 

Her hands came to her arms, feeling a chill she thought long gone; the shivering cold of the laboratory.

"What is this, Gaara?"

He looked around at the modern facility. "It's affectionately called, the 'Hole' by my siblings and I. The Sand hasn't found the need to advance as much as some of the other villages. We're stubbornly fixed in our ways."

Rin felt as if the air had come out from her lungs.

She swallowed the rising anxiety. "Then why is this here? Do the others know about it?"

"No, only very select members of the council and the Kazekage, are granted access. My father desired to bring us to the edge of technology and didn't want to fall behind the other nations. He had this lab built before I was even born."

"And what is it used for?"

"Experiments."

The word made her freeze. "What kind of experiments?"

"Weaponry, mostly and methods of battle."

"Human?"

"Not that I know of."

Rin nodded. "How did the builders know what to do? This isn't your run-of-the-mill facility."

"They didn't, we had to outsource to other villages."

"Which villages?"

She knew the answer before he said it, but she didn't want to believe it was true. 

Gaara slid his arms around her, holding her close. "You know which village. We were allies in the past, remember?"

Rin hid her face in his shoulder. 

That explained why it all looked so familiar. It wasn't a perfect replica, but there were sounds and scents, which couldn't be from anywhere else. 

His lips came to the top of her head, kissing a soft trail, trying to calm the rising panic. "I know this is upsetting for you, but we just don't have time for me to work you in slowly. If there is someone watching your friend, you're in danger. I had to get you to the safest place I could think of."

She pulled back from him. "What about Haru? You said he was joining me here?"

"That's the plan."

Rin glanced around the cold room. "I don't know if this will make him feel more at home or remind him of our hell. Could go either way."

Gaara turned her face towards him. "We'll find out soon. However, time really isn't on our side. I know I gave you a week and you weren't happy with that, but now I have to cut it even shorter. We must find out what's going on and if my people need to be evacuated. I'm sorry Rin, but I need to ask you to..."

"I know." 

"It's not fair."

Rin sighed. "Very little in life is. That's just how it goes."

He took hold of her hands and brought them to his lips, noticing a chill he never did before. "I'll give you whatever you require. The Sand will be in your debt."

She shook her head and stepped back into his embrace. "I just need this to be over. I can't stay in this place anymore."

"I understand."

His arms were a safe cage around her, his warmth calling to the cold which longed to take her again.

Rin thought about her life before coming to this village. Everything was simple. She'd made a good name for herself, her business was thriving, she'd assembled at least a shadow of a normal family unit. All of it was easy. 

Since arriving in the Sand, she'd been thrust into politics, faced off with nightmares and brought face-to-face with the two loves of her life; one a rumored monster and the other beaten down into one.

If there was one thing Rin Ito was sure of, it was that her life was never simple. 

The sound of approaching steps made her turn her attention to the massive door and the image of the two captains squeezing through, with one slumped man in between them. 

Gaara instantly slammed the entrance shut after they entered. "You both made good time. We haven't got a lot of it."

"What's going on?" Temari's voice was urgent and clipped. 

"Rin suspects an outside force is controlling the captive and punishing him for trying to break through his triggers. This means someone has breached our security and is in the walls, as we speak."

Kankuro straightened up. "How would they be able to control him with armed guards everywhere?"

Gaara placed a hand to his chin. "I wondered that too. After you set the captive..."

"Haru."

They looked to Rin and she stood with her hands balled into fists. "His name is Haru."

Gaara rubbed the side of her arm and addressed his siblings. "All right. You will set Haru up in the containment sector and then go investigate his cell. Look for any and all clues that would allow someone to manipulate him. Then report back for further instruction."

"Yes sir." Kankuro took the unconscious Haru from his sister and carried him to the north side of the laboratory. 

"He's so frail. Feels more like a child, than a grown man." He thought to himself, as he gently laid him down on the floor and secured the chains around his wrists. 

Rin's hands came to her chest, feeling like she wanted to cry at the sight.

Temari sighed and brushed past them. "I know you don't like the look of it, but that bite on your arm should wise you up. He needs to be secured."

"I understand."

"Not only with chains, but..."

Her jaw dropped, when Temari pulled out the muzzle that was hidden in her belt and secured it around his head. 

Rin made a beeline towards them, but Gaara's hand steadied her. "Calm down. It must be this way."

She wanted to rip the vile thing off of him, if only to give him his dignity back, but the dull ache in her right arm, was a hard truth to their words. She didn't have the safety of bars and a line in the sand now.

Kankuro left for his mission, but Temari remained, faithfully guarding her Kazekage and trying not to look at Rin's eyes, which shot daggers at her. "It's no use glaring at me, you know? It's for your own good."

"Eternally grateful, I'm sure." She quipped. 

The hand on her shoulder, found its way to her lower back and guided her forward. "What do you need? Your bag? Your supplies?"

"No, those were for relaxation and an enjoyable induction. Nothing about what I'm going to do, will be enjoyable."

Gaara winced. "No, I suppose not."

Rin walked the last few steps on her own, when the thought crossed her mind. "Oh, actually, there is something. In my bag, the one that should still be at the prison, there was a book I checked out. If you could bring it to me, I think that may help. Also, yellow cake, if you have it?"

"Of course. Temari, go retrieve those things."

"You can't ask me to leave you alone down here with a mad man and an emotional wreck, Gaara."

"I'm not asking." His voice didn't sound as threatening as it could have, but there was a serious tone, that wasn't to be challenged. 

The expression on her face was enough to make Rin feel like a fly on a slide.

Temari gave a curt bow and vanished out of the room, leaving the two of them in silence.

Rin let out her held breath. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Where do we go from here?"

She looked at the heap of bones and muscle that was her friend and sat down, cross-legged in front of him. "Now, I wait to see who will be waking up and if he still wants to kill me."


	32. Lock Down

He felt their eyes on him; curious, suspicious, knowing eyes. 

Kankuro slipped his hands into his pockets, trying to walk with the same casual gait he was known for.

There was no way they didn't see he and Temari moving the Sound prisoner out of his cell and into the mansion.

Rumors were already spreading and that was dangerous. 

Though no one, but a select few knew the whereabouts of the lab, whomever was watching from inside the walls, would know they were onto them. 

He had to make this quick, but not rouse any more suspicion and unnecessary panic. 

"Captain?"

A voice drew his attention just before he was about to enter the prison. 

Kankuro turned and acknowledged an older woman, he didn't recognize. "Yes, ma'am? How can I help you?"

She grasped her shawl closer. "Is it possible you could tell me about these rumors I've heard today? I'm sure you're quite busy, but perhaps you'll pity an old woman's curiosity?"

He looked at the door and back at her. "It's no problem. What would you like to know?"

"I heard the young man from the Sound was removed this morning. Where did they take him? Are we in danger?"

Kankuro felt a sweat rising on the back of his neck and he brushed a hand over it, smiling. "Oh yes, we did have to move him, but don't worry, the village is perfectly safe. We didn't feel like our prison was secure enough, so he's been moved to a place with a stronger watch."

The woman nodded. "I see. Where would that be?"

Kankuro dropped his hand. "That, unfortunately, is on a need-to-know basis. But, rest assured, your Kazekage is aware of the situation and is handling it, personally."

"Oh, well, thank goodness for that. You be careful now, young man."

"Yes, ma'am. Good day to you."

She waited until he passed, before the small smile curved on her wrinkled mouth. "And to you."

~

Kankuro breathed in the cool, misty air, finding only one set of guards instead of two, at the bottom.

They straightened when they saw him. "Captain! We've been manning the post, like you ordered."

"No one has come in or out?"

"No, sir."

"Excellent."

He moved past them and into the cell, which stunk like infection and piss.

Whether that was from the prisoner or an overly-zealous guard, wasn't something he wanted to think about. 

His eyes took in the faint traces of red smears on the ground and the splattering of blood on the walls. 

Perhaps there was truth to Rin's upset? They needed to be better than this.

Kankuro squatted down, running his fingers across the dried blood and examining it. "Hm."

One of the younger guards turned from his post and watched the Captain. "Sir, what are you doing, exactly?"

"Investigating."

"Investigating what?"

Kankuro sat on the ground, trying to assume the position he'd seen Haru in, most of the time.

It was difficult to contort his body the way the prisoner did, but he managed to make his shoulders limp and his head lowered. 

"Soldier."

"Yes, sir?"

"You got the keys to the cell?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, close the door."

"Sir?"

"Close it!"

The soldier jumped at his command and slammed the door shut, waiting for further instructions. 

Kankuro closed his eyes, trying to remember the night Rin first saw her friend and the events that followed.

Haru was scuffling around just before attacking her, in the back, if he recalled. 

He tried to move the same way the crazed man did, but found it near impossible. 

"Let's see, what was he doing just before she arrived?"

His hands came to the floor, feeling along the cracks and dirt, trying to see if the prisoner dropped anything. 

Nothing. 

He rushed up to the entrance, imagining Rin's tearful form standing there and mimed biting her arm, through the cell door. 

"Okay, if he was standing here and she was there, where could the person be, who would see this all go down?"

Kankuro's mind raced, trying to remember all the little details of that fateful night.

She was there, he was in the back of the large cell and suddenly, in front of the cell door, in hardly any time. 

He turned and judged the distance; ten, maybe twelve feet. 

How in the world did he shoot over ten feet in his malnourished state? 

His feet returned to the back wall of the cell, his knees crouched down into the hunched position Haru often sat in and he timed himself lunging at the cell door. 

Again and again and again. 

The younger soldier watched; his brow furled. "Captain?"

Kankuro hit the cell door with his fist, sending a rattling through the prison. "It doesn't make any sense! Even in peak condition, he shouldn't have the abilities he does. The man is starved, sick and gangly, but he can cross ten feet in two seconds? What am I missing?"

Silence answered him. 

With a big sigh, Kankuro slid down the wall, trying to find the glaring puzzle piece. 

He looked up at the ceiling, noticing the drops of water that came from the upstairs unit.

This place was cold, dark and hopeless; no one should be kept down here, especially not someone in that state.

He should have been at the hospital. 

Guilt gnawed at his stomach like an angry dog. 

"Do you want me to unlock the door, sir?"

"No, just give me a few minutes."

Kankuro leaned his head against the wall and waited for inspiration to come. 

As it turns out, it did, in the form of his sister.

She walked up to the cell with her hands on her hips, the angry snarl he'd come to love about her, smearing her face. "Enjoying your little break in there?"

"What are you doing here? Who is watching over Gaara?"

She snarled. "He sent me on a pointless errand and I don't want to talk about it!"

"Okay."

Temari glanced around the prison, searching for something.

She turned to the guard. "Where is the bag, the Sound girl brought in here?"

"Ma'am?"

"Am I speaking gibberish? Sound girl, Rin Ito, this tall, carried a brown bag with her. Where is it?"

"This bag, Temari?"

She turned and saw her brother sitting on the floor, pointing at the bag that was waiting in plain sight. 

"Yes, that one. That's my ridiculous errand. I'm a bag and cake collector. Cake!"

"Cake?"

Temari snatched the bag up, her face fuming. "Let's see what's in this precious bag."

She threw it open, finding a few vials of oils and herbs, a book and some pencils. "She has pencils and no paper? What a silly girl."

Kankuro noticed the notepad that laid discarded outside the cell. "It's probably that one."

"Ah."

Temari bent to pick it up and examined it. Her eyes flitted over the various drawings and notes. "Well, she's talented at least, I'll give her that. Oh, here are some notes about Gaara."

"Don't read those!"

She made a face at her brother, which showed a bit of the young girl he grew up with. "You aren't even a little curious?"

"Of course, I am, but that's between them. Not our business. You're just angry at Gaara right now, doesn't give us the right to betray his trust."

"I would never betray him!"

Kankuro smiled. "I know, so give me the notepad and we won't have to be tempted."

She rolled her eyes and tossed it at him. "Yeah right, you're probably going to read them when I leave."

"Nope, just looking through her drawings out of artistic curiosity."

"Uh huh. Well, that's one part of my mission done. Now onto to get some damn cake."

"Again, cake?"

She slid the book in her pocket and walked away. "Trust me, you aren't the only one confused."

Kankuro chuckled and waited until she left, to flit through the drawings. Temari wasn't lying, Rin was very talented. 

He admired the drawing of an Ember Rose, the petals open and light. She must have been inspired by the blossoms at the Oasis. 

His fingers glided over the beginning of what he knew to be his little brother's eyes. She'd drawn them several times, clearly not satisfied with her earlier works. 

It was a challenge to capture everything inside them, so he didn't envy her task, but he was pleased that she was trying.

Despite everything that happened in the past few days, the image of his brother, draped across her, his face easy with sleep, was something he'd hold onto forever.

He doubted Gaara had the words to tell her how he felt yet, but he knew, as soon as she walked through the doors of the council room, Rin Ito was going to be the change they needed.

She was the missing piece in Gaara's puzzle.

The page flicked in his grasp and settled on the most impressive drawing in the batch; a near perfect replica of a slumped Haru. 

He gave a low whistle. "Wow."

Kankuro studied the curve of his spine, each vertebra sharp and protruding. The special attention she paid to the fibers of shallow muscle, the careful shading of his shoulder blades, all of it showed how much she cared for this person. 

He wondered if Gaara would stand a chance, if this man regained himself?

Suddenly, he noticed something new.

For her to achieve this level of art, Haru would have had to be sitting in one position for hours.

In the time he'd been in that cell, the only memory of him resting, was when he tired himself out and laid down and that certainly didn't happen whenever Rin was near.

"He had to be distracted by something."

Kankuro raised the drawing to the center of the room, positioning himself so that he'd be where Rin was.

His eyes flicked from the drawing, to the cell, and back. 

The pencil-Haru was staring at the upper east corner of the cell, the expression on his face captivated, his jaw slack. 

He rose from his sitting position and went to that same corner, examining the wall, pressing his fingers in and out of the grooves. "Come on, come on, what is it?"

Suddenly, his fingers traveled from stone, to air, the feeling of the desert heat sliding through the walls. "What the?"

He touched the wall again and again, moving his hand from hot to cold, hot to cold.

"Son of a bitch."

"Captain? What is it?"

Kankuro turned on his heel, barking out an order so loud, it rattled the cages. "Put the entire village on lock down! No one is allowed to leave their homes without express permission! I want the guard doubled, tripled! Every Sand shinobi will be armed and will surround the walls and wait for further instruction."

"Yes sir! May I ask why, in case the others want to know?"

Kankuro looked back at the small holes in the wall, where nothing, but hot air came through and wedged his fingers into them.

"Because I know a puppet when I see one."


	33. Child

What's that sound?

Beep... beep... beep...

I know that sound. I've heard it before.

His thoughts were muddled, stuck somewhere between awake and asleep. 

"What are you going to do, now?"

"Now I wait to see who will wake up and if he still wants to kill me."

He knew that voice. Knew it better than he recognized his own. 18...Rin. 

"Do you really think he'll try in here? Out of the prison cell?"

Who is that talking with her?

"I don't know. Honestly, I'm kind of making it up, as I go."

He wanted to tell her he could hear her; wanted to open his eyes, but they felt so heavy.

His body felt weak, like there were weights tied to each limb. 

What did they do to me?

"How did Kankuro and Temari bring him here? He was wild the last time I saw him."

"I assume they found the doctor you wanted. It's normal for our physicians to put someone under a temporary paralysis jutsu, if they're uncooperative."

"I see."

I hate that! 

"He'll hate the feeling of that."

If he could have smiled, he would have.

Even after all this time, she still knew what he liked and, more importantly, what he feared.

"How long will their jutsu last?" Rin asked. 

The man, he remembered as the Kazekage, answered. "Until the doctor breaks it. But that's going to be difficult, considering how no one knows where we are, except for my siblings. Can you work when he's like that?"

"Not ideally. Haru needs to be relaxed, sure, but if he doesn't give me consent to enter his mind, it's going to be dangerous for both of us."

What is she trying to do? Come into my mind?! No! She can't! Don't come in here! 

"What kind of danger? Like what happened with me?"

"Similar, yes. If his mind rejects me, or even worse, acknowledges me as an invader or a threat, he can trap me there, hurting both of us. I can damage his psyche and since he's connected to me through my chakra, he can harm my waking body, draining me of my energy."

"Trap you? How could you be trapped in the mind of someone else?"

Haru waited to listen to the answer, he didn't know himself.

18 walked around his mind for years, but even he didn't know the extent of her capabilities.

She sighed. "It's complicated. I only had it happen a few times, but never with Haru."

"Why not with him?"

Rin hesitated. "Haru and I shared connections outside of the mental plane, our chakras know each other. He was my.... original partner."

Gaara didn't understand at first, but by the way she was choosing her words and the discomfort on her face, it didn't take him long to figure it out.

"Oh. I see."

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a moment and even in his drifting state, Haru could feel the tension in the room.

He wished he could roll his eyes.

Oh, come on, man, it was years ago. We were teenagers locked in the same living space together. What did you expect to happen?

Rin found her voice first. "It was obvious how he and I felt about each other from the beginning, but that wasn't why the scientists brought us together. Out of all the other experiments, Haru and I were the most compatible. My ability to access memories and the psyche of other people, just by touch and chakra transference, made me the natural choice for Orochimaru's next body. If he wasn't so obsessed with the Uchiha line, he probably would've claimed me years ago."

"That's what he designed you for? To take your body?"

"And my jutsu, yes. However, Orochimaru used me for other things as well. I don't know if he would've parted with those feelings right away."

Haru still wasn't able to open his eyes, so he couldn't see the expression on the Kazekage's face, but he imagined it.

"I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say, it wasn't a surprise to us. Every single creation in that lab knew what they were made for. Most considered it a great honor."

"But not you?"

"No, not me. Never me. I wanted... other things."

Haru felt a small light in his heart.

"Anyway, because of my talents, I was constantly undergoing training with other experiments. They'd have me induce over and over and over, but after a while, before I learned control, my partners would..."

She grimaced. 

"Would what?"

Haru knew what, he'd seen it before. 

Though he couldn't move his hand, he wanted to take hers in his and give it a squeeze.

This in-between state was a blessing and curse.

It was the first time he'd had real clarity in weeks, but to have it and not be able to tell 18 he was there, listening to her every word, was torture. 

"The strain on their mind, when I didn't use my jutsu for relaxation, would leave them in a vegetative state. I broke them." She stopped talking.

Haru strained to listen, but only heard the faint shuffling of movement and the deep sigh of painful memories.

When Gaara's voice sounded, he assumed 18 was in his arms and he was glad. 

If he couldn't scare away her past, at least someone was there to hold her.

"I'm sorry, Rin. That sounds awful."

"Yes."

"How did Haru fit into this?"

Rin's voice came out muffled, leading him to believe her face was pressed into another man's shoulder.

"Subject 15, Haru, was brought to me. His abilities made him the perfect match for someone with a destructive power like mine. We both shared incredible stores of chakra, but Haru was made with the blessing of restorative jutsu. He could undergo vast amounts of damage and repair himself, almost instantly. No matter how many times I was forced to enter his mind, whatever damage I unknowingly did, he always healed up with enough time to go another round. They used to make bets on us, you know?"

"What kind of bets?"

"Which one would collapse first. From what I hear, the game was a favorite amongst the higher-ups."

Bastards.

"Bastards."

Haru heard Gaara speak the word at the same time he thought it. 

Huh, perhaps there's hope for this guy after all?

"So, because of Haru's restorative jutsu, I was never trapped in him. In the beginning, his mind would reject me, just like everyone else, but over time, it opened freely. He told me once that it almost felt weird to NOT have my voice in his head. He'd show me incredible things."

"What kinds of things?"

Rin's voice smiled. "Green fields, tall trees, streams that poured lavender flowers at my feet. I was too valuable to allow outside, they couldn't risk losing me, but Haru caught a peek through the doors a few times. He always held such an amazing world for me."

It's because I knew you'd like it so much. I didn't give a damn about pretty flowers, but you did.

Haru felt a slight pain rising in the back of his mind. 

Oh no, not again, please let me stay here! Please don't make me hurt her! 

The rolling pain turned sharp and racked him from within, splintering shards of glass stabbing into his brain.

It burned throughout his body, each fiber of muscle and nerve engulfed in rippling agony, but his lips stayed silent, his body still as the grave. 

Rin nuzzled her head under Gaara's chin, before pulling back to look at his face. "Are you sure I don't have any more time to try it my way?"

"I'm sorry. The fate of my people is in your hands. I don't want you injured or trapped, though. What can we do?"

She turned to look at the mass that was Haru, his breathing quickened, but still holding strong. There wasn't a way around it, she'd have to induce without invitation, something she hadn't done in over a decade. 

Rin was about to go to him, until a fierce knock sounded on the gigantic door. 

Gaara waited, listening for the special code between he and his siblings. 

Four sharp knocks and two softs, followed. 

"Temari." He said, holding his hand towards the entrance and pushing the door open, with a sharp creak. 

The Captain strode out of the darkness and into the blindingly white lab, both of her hands full with the objects Rin requested.

She stalked up to the smaller kunoichi and forcefully placed them in her grasp. "There you go! One book and one damned piece of yellow cake. Anything else I can get you? A drink? A fluffed pillow?"

"It's uncalled for you to act like this. Rin has a reason for what she does."

She looked like she would scream. "Gaara! Who am I?"

He was taken aback by the question. "Temari."

"Yes, Temari of the Sand. Keeper of the Wind and the Storm. Head of security and your private counsel. Nowhere in that description does it say I am a professional snack-getter! I am above this kind of thing! I am..."

"Forever in my gratitude." Rin said softly. 

Temari heard the words, but didn't know how to reply at first. She lowered her arms to her side and sighed. "Well... that's something, I guess."

"Where is Kankuro? Has he been able to gather any new information from the prison?" Gaara asked, stepping between the two fiercest women in his life. 

"The last time I saw him, he was sitting on his butt in the cell. Who knows what information he'll glean that way?"

"We'll just have to wait and see."

Temari took her fan out from behind her back and leaned against it. "You both are such troublesome brothers. What did you need that stuff for, anyway?"

Rin sat in front of Haru, placing the cake to one side and running her fingers along the cover of the book. It's happy, green cover smiled up at her. "To reach him."

"Cake and books, huh? Sounds more like reaching a five-year-old."

"You'd be surprised how often adults need to be treated like children, Captain. At the end of the day, it's what we all are, if we're honest with ourselves." 

Gaara watched the interaction between them. "What's the next step?"

She looked at the chains, which held Haru captive to the wall. "I know time is of the essence, but if you can give me one more try? Just once, to do this my way?"

Temari groaned. "We really don't..."

Gaara put up a hand to stop her. "You may proceed, Rin. Just this one time."

She nodded her thanks to him and moved to sit with her back against the wall.

Haru's chains gave just enough slack for her to work her way right beside him. 

Gently, she raised his head and slid her knees underneath it, resting him in her lap.

At first, she thought to rest her hand on his shoulder, but between the black and blue bruises, and the sharp lines of his bones, her grasp hesitated in the air.

He moaned when she adjusted her legs, sending a sad smile to Rin's face.

Her fingers trailed through his hair, combing out the knots that developed over time. His forehead was furled, as if he were trapped in a nightmare.

To the both of them, that's exactly what this all felt like.

She circled his eyes, like she had with Gaara, massaging the tension out of his face.

Sliding her finger down the bridge of his nose, Rin's other hand went to the book and she propped it open on her knee, shadowing his face from prying eyes. 

Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "Hey, 15. Remember the 'Little Ninja and the Great Tree'? You'd listen to me read it to the younger experiments and then insist I read it again in your room. We used to lay like this, almost every night. Just like we are now. I'm here, Haru, I'm here and I'm watching over you."

He didn't say anything, not a single muscle twitch to prove he'd heard her, but he did. 

The engulfing flame of pain, settled to a quiet burn, barely taking the edges of his mind. 

18... Rin.

"Once upon a time, there was a little ninja and a great big tree."

The feeling of her fingers running through his hair, the soothing cadence of her voice, it made him ache with an entirely different pain. 

"At the top of the tree, hung golden apples that shone in the warm sunlight. Legends said, that if someone could prove to the tree, that they were brave enough to reach the apples, it would bless them with the secret of true strength.

For this wasn't any normal tree. 

Its trunk held wicked thorns, that sprung up from every unkind word spoken in the world. 

Its branches grew twisted and gnarled. Its leaves were dipped with tears, so no one could hold on long enough to climb it. Lest they be overcome with the tree's sadness."

Gaara sat down where he was, his hands resting in his lap, listening to the story.

He tried not to let the spring of jealousy well up inside of him.

It made him feel like a petulant child, but there was a part of him that wanted to be the one curled up on Rin's lap, her fingers trailing through his hair. 

He'd always wondered what it felt like to have a mother read a bedtime story to him. This may be the closest he'd ever get.

It was such a little thing, but the sight of the soft smile on her face, the peaceful expression on his and the clear affection she had for him, made Gaara feel lonelier than he had in years. 

He wasn't sure when she'd become this important to him, but it was clear from the aching in his heart, that if by some miracle, she was able to bring Haru back and he were to lose her, Gaara knew he wouldn't come back from it. 

He knew what the feeling was, deep in his heart, and his fingers found their way up to the symbol he kept hidden under his hair. 

Love.


	34. Dark Dealings

The moon hid her face from the night sky, as if she knew the danger that lied in the village and chose to save herself. 

Darkness fell across the land, a blanket that protected the man, who ducked in and out of alleys, like a shadow.

His hands plastered against the wall, listening for the patrols of Sand shinobi, who were set out in the streets by their captain's order. 

Time was running out. 

"She'd better show." He thought to himself, the sting of his words dripping in his mind like venom from a hateful syringe. 

It was getting harder and harder to slip away and their normal meeting site outside the village, was impossible now. 

Guards were posted all along the walls, their eyes and sensory jutsus set for any suspicious activity. 

No one was getting in or out. 

"You're late."

Her voice startled him and he raised a finger to his lips. "Shh!"

"Who are you shushing?"

"Not so loud!"

"Fool, you're the only one who can hear me."

The man twisted around, glancing up and down the alley, finding himself alone. "Right, it's still strange to me to have someone else in my mind, you know?"

"If you're an idiot, yes."

"Watch yourself."

"Or what? You'll attack me? Hard to fight someone you don't know the location of and could you look any more suspicious?! You're just standing in the middle of an alley, like a crazy person."

He leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets. "Fine. You're the one who wanted to meet tonight."

"Yes."

"So? Make it quick."

The voice sounded as annoyed as he felt. "I'm sure you've noticed the heightened security surrounding us."

"Yes, your boy has caused a stir."

"The boy has been moved from the prison. Our hold on him is weakening."

He scoffed. "So much for your plan then."

"What do you mean?"

His eyebrows drew together. "You wanted him to kill the Sound girl, didn't you? My chakra strings can't reach wherever they've taken him. Hard to control someone when he's out of range. Your plan failed."

"That's why you're short-sided. Your jutsu may be used up, but mine is still going strong."

Two guards passed by his alley, the light from their torches spreading like daylight into his hiding place. He ducked down, hiding behind a few happily-placed crates.

When they moved on, the voice in his head sneered. "You're sloppy. It's plain to see that working with you was a foolish idea from the start. The Puppet Captain found your string holes, in hardly any time at all."

"Screw off, witch. Without me, you'd have never found your way into the village, in the first place."

She hesitated. "Yes, I suppose that's true. You proved more or less... adequate in your assault on the Southern wall."

"Adequate?! Do you have any idea how hard it was to set off an explosion, plant a Sound headband and make it back inside, without any of the guards seeing me? I deserve a damn medal for my troubles."

Her voice changed, soothing him, a part of his mind warmed like fresh butter. "Yes, you're right. You did very well, Yashida."

The councilman smiled at the peaceful feeling she gave him, her jutsu quickly becoming a missed drug dose for him. "What are we going to do now? She didn't do what you said she would."

"And what was it, I said, exactly?"

"Rin Ito is a fool with her loved ones. She'd cross the gate, our pawn would kill her, with my help, and that would enrage the Kazekage to end him, sending a message to the other nations that he killed a man from another village, out of nothing more than spite."

"Mm hm."

"She's one of Orochimaru's favorites, isn't she? The death of her and one of his men, by the Sand, would prompt response. Who would blame the Kazekage after the Sound already breeched the Southern wall? The other nations would surely get involved and this foolish peace time would end."

"Indeed. She is his favorite. That should have been the plan." The woman's voice sounded bitter.

"Well it failed. Rin managed to sway Gaara's hand and now our spy is safe in their custody and we have no way to control him. He's going to tell them everything. I'll be ruined, if not killed!"

The calm feeling, she was pouring into him faded away with his rising panic.

"Yes, it seems she holds more power over him than we thought. The little slut works fast."

"What are we going to do? What do we do now?!"

"Hush, calm yourself. Like I said, your jutsu may have passed, but mine is going strong. Don't worry, I planned for this very thing."

"How?"

Though he couldn't see it, the voice smiled and it sent shivers down his spine. "I know Rin Ito. She'll try her signature justu and enter his mind. Subject 15 meant more to her than anyone, she'll try to save him and when she does, a nasty surprise will be waiting. Trust me, she'll find her end. We're just taking the long way."

Yashida shook his head. "This seems like a lot of extra work. Why couldn't we have just killed her in her quarters when she first arrived? Made it seem like prejudice against the Sound. That would have prompted the same response from your village head. Probably more effectively without using the boy at all."

Her words froze him, the cold venom turning into ice in his veins. "Never go straight for the kill, not when pain is so much more inviting. I'm going to get my vengeance on Orochimaru's pet and I'll do it my way. Honestly, I'm so very pleased it turned out this way. It's what I'd hoped from the beginning."

"Why do you want to hurt this girl, so much? What did she do to you?"

"None of your concern. Quick, get back to your room, tuck yourself in bed and carry on with the council, like you know nothing. I'll need their support to carry out our plans."

Yashida strolled out of the alley, trying his best to look casual. 

Her voice trailed off his mind, but not before he heard her final words. "Peace is done. It's time for shinobi to do what we're designed to do. Eliminate each other, until the superior model stands."


	35. Story Time

The muzzle hurts. It's digging into my cheek. 

Rin's fingers felt like heaven, massaging away the strain between his eyes.

The warmth of her lap, when his head rested on it, the scent of home, the rise and fall of her words, when she read his favorite story to him, all of it was like a lost dream. 

He didn't want to wake up. 

"The axe didn't chop the mighty trunk. The ropes lost their grip on the sorrowful branches. The ladder fell to the ground. Nothing seemed to stand up against the tree. The people of the village told the ninja he was a fool to keep trying. His small arms could never reach the golden apples. It was best that he gave up. He'd never amount to anything more than what they thought."

Gaara listened to the story, closing his eyes to picture it fully.

Despite himself, the image of a knucklehead with blond hair and blue eyes came to mind. This seemed like just the kind of story he'd love. 

"The sun began to set; the world grew dark and cold. Everyone returned to their homes and left the tree alone, where it had always been."

Gaara's eyes opened. 

Rin shifted her weight, never disturbing the resting man on her lap. "The little ninja turned away, but then he heard a sound that made him stop in his tracks. It was the saddest sound he'd heard in his young life and it was coming from the tree. The giant, gnarled, mean-looking tree was crying."

"Why was it crying?"

Rin looked up from the worn pages and saw Gaara's rapt attention.

It took everything within her not to break down and squeal at his expression.

Her face settled into its soft smile and she continued. "The little ninja asked, 'Why are you crying, great tree? Is it because my ropes and axe hurt you?'

The leaves on the tree wilted with its sadness. "No, I'm used to people trying to harm me. I'm familiar with their blades and ropes. I'm crying because, even after they try to take my apples and their harsh words litter me with thorns, they all leave me alone. They go home to their families and their friends and I stay here. I'd rather have their pain, than this loneliness. I don't want to be alone anymore."

The Kazekage worried his bottom lip, entranced in the story. 

Haru hadn't moved, though his favorite part was coming up. 

"The ninja threw away the axe and undid the ropes. He fell to his knees and even though the thorns pierced his skin, he wrapped his arms around the tree. 'I'm sorry, great tree. I'm sorry for the loneliness you've felt and the pain we've caused you. I'm only a little ninja and I'm not good at many things, but I'll be your friend, if you'll let me?"

The sound of the page turning sent tingles down Haru's spine. 

"Then what happened?" Gaara asked, heart in his throat. 

Rin came to the final page and brushed her fingers through Haru's hair. "The thorns on the tree started to fall off one by one. The more love the ninja gave, the better the tree felt."

Her eyes flicked up to Gaara and back to the page. "It didn't all happen at once. In fact, it took a very long time for the tree to remove all the hurtful things that had been done to it, but in the end, all it took was one little ninja, with a great big heart, to make the tree beautiful again. Then that tree restored other trees who were hurt and lost, just like it had been helped."

Haru wanted to laugh.

She completely went off script at the end.

He knew very well that the story ended with the words, "the tree smiled," and nothing else. 

How she thought they'd be able to live in harmony after this, was beyond him, but she always was the optimist in the group.

He was glad to see that she still held onto that part of herself, despite all the evil that happened to her. 

Rin closed the book and set it to the side with a deep, calming breath. 

Gaara's eyes turned down, thinking about the story and what it meant for him.

He wished his childhood had been spent in the pages of fairytales and not in volumes of war. What lessons had he missed out on that other children knew?

Temari fiddled with the edge of her fan, pretending the entire time that she wasn't just as invested in the story, as the rest.

Her voice broke the silence. "What now?"

Rin glanced down to the face that looked so serene, she felt like she could almost ignore the terrible condition the rest of him was in.

She knew the second the paralysis jutsu was removed, he would lunge and rip at her. It was selfish, but she there was a part of her that wanted to stay in this moment longer.

"Gaara, I need something from you, before I cast."

"Your oils?"

Rin smiled at him. "No, they aren't necessary here. I need you to sit behind me, against the wall."

"Oh... why, exactly?"

Her eyes trailed along Haru's sunken cheeks. "I don't know what's waiting for me inside. It's very likely, despite what we've done here, that Haru's mind will attack me. Remember how I used the ribbon to anchor myself with you? You are going to be one big ribbon holding me to this plane. Can you do that for me?"

Gaara felt a wave of responsibility crash over him. "I'll try."

"Is this going to be dangerous for Gaara?" Temari asked, her muscles tightening, as if she were bracing for some unknown threat.

Rin scooched forward a bit, Haru's chains rattling with her movement. "No. The only people at risk are myself and Haru. The most I'll steal from Gaara, is his chakra to bring myself back. That's all."

"Okay then."

He stood from his place on the floor and stepped uneasily towards them.

His gaze went to the dangerous man, the one he'd intended to kill only a few days ago. Did he deserve this help she was giving? He knew it was important to gain whatever information he had, but there were other ways. They could force it out of him.

"Gaara?"

His eyes snapped up to Rin, who was looking at him expectantly. 

No, of course he couldn't do it any other way. Not when Rin was staring at him like that. He'd promised her they could try this way at least once and he wouldn't go back on a promise to her. 

Gaara settled himself behind her, back against the cold wall. "What now?"

She leaned back against his strong chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "Put your arms around me, please. I'm going to need to feel you holding me the entire time."

Gaara blinked at her request.

It certainly wasn't the first time they'd been close like that, but this time felt different. She wasn't leading him into a level of his psyche, nor was she guiding him through his darkness. This time, he was the one anchoring her. She was relying on him to keep her safe. 

"Of course."

His arms slid around her waist, pulling her gently into him. His legs came to either side of hers, trying not to disturb the resting Haru on her lap. 

Rin shifted so that she was completely engulfed by him.

Her eyes turned up to the pale green she could easily get lost in. "Do you have my back?"

Gaara brushed a soft kiss against her temple. "Always."

The flutter in her heart almost made her lose focus, but she gathered herself and turned her attention back to Haru. 

Despite the hideous muzzle, the sunken cheeks and spilt lip, she still saw her friend in him. It had been so long since she induced in his mind, but it almost felt like coming home, in a way.

Her lips came to his ear. "Hey 15? I'm coming to help you. Hang in there for me."

Haru's mind was drifting, but her words echoed in his thoughts. He tried to move his mouth, tried to call out to her and tell her to stay away, but he was frozen. 

No. Don't... please.

One hand found his forehead and the other rested on his chest. "Somnam Jutsu."


	36. A Step Into Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING: The next few chapters are going to have themes of horror and torture.*

*WARNING: The next few chapters are going to have themes of horror and torture.*

Rin knew darkness.

She walked through worlds of nightmare and shadow; each mind delving her deeper into their personal agony. 

Her feet knew the blind shuffle of uncertainty. Her ears, the sound of quickened heartbeats and frantic breathing. 

She'd made fear her business and oblivion, her workplace. 

But the world waiting inside Haru's mind wasn't a nightmare... it was Hell.

She opened her eyes and stood, frozen in place, at the horrific presence around her.

The scent of rotting flesh and fluids filled her senses; piss, vomit, feces, blood. 

She fought not to gag, but quickly lost the battle. 

"I didn't know I could vomit in another mind." Her voice seemed far away, even to her own ears. 

Rin's gaze twisted around the vast dark cavern, taking note of the image he chose to show her.

There were walls, just like every other mind, but these were different.

Something hung from them. 

Though her hand shook and her inner voice begged not to reach out, her stubborn fingers rested against the heavy metal chains, that ran along the fleshy walls. They felt cold to her touch. 

When she pulled her fingers away, her stomach lurched at the sight of blood. The circling locks held vicious spikes, meant to dive deep into whomever they ensnared and the traces of tendons lingering on their tips, let her know they already had.

She knew these chains were meant for one person alone. 

"Haru."

A high, pitching wail echoed through the room she was in, vibrating the walls with its anguish. 

"No more! No more! Please!" The voice sobbed.

Rin took off in the direction of the screaming, her feet clumsy against the malleable floor. 

"Haru! Haru, I'm here! Where are you?!"

She rushed forward blindly, but stopped short when something twisted along her ankles, sending her spiraling down, too fast for her hands to catch her. 

Rin fell hard, her chin slamming into the ground, splitting open. 

She hissed with the pain and pulled her feet towards her, trying to make out what it was that tripped her in the first place and was holding her fixed to her position.

"Calm down. Just calm down, Ito. You can't help him, if you're the one panicking. You're in control of your jutsu. You've got this." Her voice didn't sound convincing. 

The painful cries continued to throttle her with their agony, each more insistent than the last.

Rattling chains, the vicious crack of a whip, the manic scream of someone who discovered a new level of torment, resonated in the space around her. 

She knew what they were, they couldn't be disguised as anything else, these were the sounds of torture and they were too fresh to be a memory. 

It was happening now. 

Her breath came out hard and heavy. "Get out of your own brain and remember where you are. It's a mind, just like anyone else you've entered. You've walked through this one before. Wait for the guide. Just calm down and wait for the guide."

She raised her hand and created the imaginary torch to set against the ropes around her ankles. 

The new light revealed no binding ropes, but pink, fleshy intestines that curled around her, dripping in ichor, staining her fingers red. 

"Oh god!"

She willed the torch into a knife, thanking the fates for the new darkness and set to work cutting through them. 

The feeling of flesh tearing beneath her blade, sent a wave of cold sweat down her back, but with each slice, another scream sounded. 

"Wait..." She stopped cutting and listened; silence. 

When she went to free herself again, the pitching wails followed and she realized what it meant. Whatever she was doing to the area around her, was being echoed into Haru's mental form.

She was the one torturing him.

"What do I do? What is this?" The panic was rising in the back of her throat. "Where's the damn guide?!"

"Rrrrrin?" A raspy, guttural voice reverberated against the back of her neck, panting with the effort of making itself known. 

It may have been a voice and it may have said her name, but it didn't sound human.

Her eyes slammed shut against whatever came to collect her.

It crackled in the shadows, as if its bones clamored together, the vital cushion of joint and fluid abandoned. 

The scent of decay and wet, freshly-turned earth, settled into her nose.

"Rrrrin."

She didn't want to look.

If she didn't look, she wouldn't have to hold this memory.

Rin had seen her share of monsters. The human imagination could deliver wicked things, but a feeling inside of her, deep down, said this would be something altogether new and horrific.

Her eyes begged to stay closed, but she knew some burdens must be carried and some demons refused not to be faced. 

With a swell of courage, pulled from the depths of her soul, Rin reimagined the torch and brought it to her face, to witness her guide.

She was right. She shouldn't have looked. 

Before her stood something terrible; the kind of terrible that made her wonder what cruel mind thought up that level torture on another human being? 

It was Haru, or, at least, the inside of him. 

His arms were exposed, wet muscle and protruding bone; the skin ripped off in pieces that were too precise to be an accident. His naked torso was littered with burns, whip marks and gashes, where maggots and spiders crawled in and out of the peek-a-boo holes. 

His eyes were gone. 

Vast, empty portals of pitch-darkness regarded her; the long-dried blood stained his pale face in ribbons. 

"Haru." Her voice was empty, almost as hollow as the open hole on his right cheek. 

His detached jaw worked its way around the words he tried to speak, but the voice sounded dry and painful in his throat. "Rrrrin. Commme."

"I can't. I can't break free or I'll hurt you again."

He stumbled closer to her, his left knee buckling with the movement.

Skeletal hands latched onto the rope of intestines holding her and he ripped them away in one quick motion. 

"Haru no!" Rin screamed, but it was too late. 

The guide gripped onto his stomach and wailed, falling to his knees. 

Rin leapt up from the floor, rushing over to him, but he held up a hand to keep her at bay.

When he stood from his hunched form, fresh intestinal wounds showed where he'd freed her, cascading down his legs like red, dangling vines. 

She couldn't understand why this was happening. Never in all her years of practice, had she found a guide who punished himself through her. 

This was more than psychological torture; this was a very specific jutsu and it was brought about to hurt her in the worst way. 

"Haru...I..."

His eye sockets regarded her. 

Rin swallowed her bile and breathed. "Okay. I'm here. Show me who did this to you and why you were sent to kill me. Show me who needs to pay for this."

The mockery of the human condition, rose to his feet, and shuffled down the black hallway. "Folloooow." 

~

Gaara held Rin close to himself. 

By the way her body relaxed and her head lolled against his shoulder, he knew she reached into Haru's mind and the jutsu was a success. 

Now, all he could do was wait. 

Temari set to pacing back and forth, her fists opening and closing with her anxious steps. 

Tense mumblings escaped her lips, but Gaara couldn't make sense of them. "Temari, what's on your mind?"

She looked at the limp body in her brother's arms. "I don't like this. I don't like it one bit."

"Why?"

"Because she's in that crazed man's mind all alone! Who knows what's waiting in there and here we are, sitting on our hands, waiting for her to come out of it. We don't even know if she will get any information. This all feels like a big gamble and I don't think we should be playing."

Gaara's eyes trailed down to Rin's sleeping face. "She knows what she's doing. I trust Rin and you should as well."

"It's not that I don't trust her intentions, I'm just..."

"You're just worried about her."

Temari stopped pacing and crossed her arms, her eyebrows drawn in. 

Gaara gave her a soft smile.

She sat down in front of him, glancing between Haru and Rin, the feeling of helplessness an awful, unfamiliar sensation. "From what I've seen of this Ms. Ito, she's disorganized, doesn't show proper respect to authority, hasn't the slightest regard for protocol and feels as if she can do whatever she damn well pleases."

"And?"

Temari sighed, reaching out an uneasy hand and resting it on Rin's. "And, she's the first woman I've ever seen my brother show affection. She needs to be safe. You need her to be safe. I want to protect what the two of you are building and I just don't know how."

Gaara patted her shoulder. "Thank you, sister."

She gave him a shy smile, but it quickly disappeared. "Gaara! Look!"

His eyes shot down to Rin's face and the fresh gash that appeared on her chin. 

"It's split."

~

Rin's hands came to her arms, holding herself tight against the desire to run.

She wanted to pull out of his mind, save herself from the horrors that waited around each corner, but she couldn't. 

She owed it to Haru to find out what happened. 

How he was able to work through all of this pain and trauma and find moments of clarity, was beyond her. This was a nightmare and he lived it every moment. 

Haru was even stronger than she thought. 

She studied the back of her guide, knowing that it was only a fraction of his consciousness and trying to figure out why this being was sent to her?

Gaara came to her as a child and later on as his own monster, but this even that made sense. 

The level of his psyche she'd reached was what he'd feared he'd become and cause her pain. 

Whatever form of Haru this was, it was alive within him and was actively being hurt by her.

The ground beneath her feet shifted from flesh, to an open field of over-turned dirt, sinking her steps down into its hold.

She stopped, gathering information on what he'd shown her. "Haru, what is this place?"

He didn't respond. 

Rin skipped a few steps to catch up to him, trying her best to stay within sight, while still piecing together the pieces of this wicked puzzle. 

What did this field mean? It was cold, dark and smelt like musk and earth. 

The air felt stifled in her lungs, suffocating. 

Suddenly, her guide came to a halt in front of her and she had to stop herself from bumping into him. 

"Why did we stop?"

The disjointed way his body moved, made her stomach sick, when he raised an arm and pointed to the side. 

Rin took a step out, lifting her torch above her head. 

Its light saved her at the last second, when her feet started to give out from under her.

The turned-ground crumpled into a vast hole, so large and consuming, she couldn't find the end of it. 

Her breath caught in her throat, when she swallowed her fear and peeked inside the abyss.

"Oh my..."

Piled up in haphazard rows, were the endless bodies of past experiments. Strewn about like dead fish from the Reaper's net, disgraced and discarded, as if they were yesterday's catch.

Their pale, white forms were a stark contrast against the orange firelight of her torch, casting wicked shadows, that made them seem like they were still moving in the pit.

"What is this?" Rin whispered.

Her guide rattled. "Graaaaaveyaaard."

"Is this where they found you?"

He didn't respond with words.

Instead, his skeletal hand found the back of her shirt and pushed her forward, head first, arms flailing for a hold that didn't exist.

She spiraled down into the pit of bodies and discovered, to her horror, that the shadows of movement, were not shadows at all.


	37. The Pit

They were pulling at her. 

Grubby, cold hands reaching, grasping, tugging at her arms, her legs. Working their fingers into her hair and twisting in their frantic hold. 

Their lifeless, all-seeing eyes never blinked, as if they'd lose track of her, if they did. 

Rin felt the carpet of bodies beneath her squirm like maggots in the pit, each drawn to her warmth, driven by her lifeforce. 

She screamed. 

Gaping faces surrounded her and she knew them all. 

Failed, discarded experiments; the lesser of her kind, cast into the shadows like day-old bread. 

Her eyes shot up to her guide, who was watching from his frozen stance, like a sentinel in the night. "Haru! Help me! Please!"

He didn't move an inch. 

Arms found their way to her chest, tearing away at her clothes, gumming mouths coming to her exposed skin. 

She winced when various broken teeth nibbled at her arms, sinking deep into her shoulders. 

Why wasn't her guide coming for her? Something was wrong about all of this, beyond the obvious hellscape. 

"Wait... they aren't actually biting me."

One young girl, she recognized as the former version of "Subject 8," slid up to her side. 

Rin wiggled her fingers in her wide mouth and found them going through. 

"This isn't happening to me. This is a memory. Oh god, this is a memory of Haru's."

Her gaze whipped around at the squirming experiments she thought meant to tear her apart and realized what they were actually doing. 

"They're dying. Every one of them is dying in this pit."

The sinking realization they weren't fully dead when they were left, harrowed Rin to her core.

How long did they last in this pit? How much time went by surrounded by pain and covered in the stench of piss and blood and fear?

Their last moments were spent in agony and so were Haru's. 

She remembered the sight of the kunai sliding into his chest, the spray of blood on her face, how he toppled forward onto her lap, before he was carted away to the incinerator. 

They told her he was dead. 

They lied.

They didn't even have the decency to burn him. 

Rin pulled her hands to her chest, holding herself away from the writhing bodies. 

His restorative jutsu kept him alive. 

Her eyes turned to top of the pit, where a golden light passed over; the sun. 

It passed by again and again, four...five...six...seven times. 

Seven days he laid in this pit of filth, infection from the bacteria working its way through his body, killing him over and over. 

Until, mercifully, it stopped. 

Rin closed her eyes, exhaling a long breath and letting his memory take her. 

She heard the world hush, the dying moans of their comrades thinning into silence, one-by-one.

Her senses dulled, the pain in her chest faded from sharp tremors, into a soft buzzing, but that could have been the flies crawling in and out of her open wound. 

This is when Haru died. 

Suddenly, she felt hands come to her arms and her guide lifted her from the pit. Her head lolled against the quick movement and he steadied her shoulders with his skeletal hands. 

The world shifted around them. 

No longer was she in the turned-over fields or standing over a gaping pit. She jumped from the darkness and into piercing light, that worked its way into her brain like an ice pick to her skull. 

"Where am I?" Her mouth moved to ask and the guide placed a finger to his broken lips, shushing her.

Rin shook her head, clearing the dizziness of mind-melding and focused on what was before her. 

A grey, metal gurney, much like the one she spent her early life strapped to, waited in the cold lab room. However, this wasn't anywhere like she'd seen before. 

It certainly wasn't in their living quarters, she would have heard him, where was this?

Her gaze traveled along the stone walls, the rickety yellow lights sputtering single-file on the ceiling. It felt cold and smelt like dirt. 

The broken creature beside her, left his post and settled on the gurney. 

Rin covered her gasp when his skin grew back in sheets over his arms, his recently inflicted gut wound closed up and finally, his deep blue eyes, that held light and mischief in them, rolled back into his head and searched the room in a panic. 

"Haru." She whispered. 

"Welcome back, Subject 15. You stayed under for so long this time. We worried we'd lost you for good."

Rin's eyes shot to the shadows where a man stepped out, clipboard in hand, glasses sliding down his nose. 

"Kabuto." She growled. 

He sauntered closer to the gurney, scribbling down notes. "Tell me, how do you feel?"

"Where am I?" Haru's voice was rough in his throat. 

Rin's heart ached in her chest; this was the first time she'd heard it as it was in the past. Not missing his tongue or as a broken mockery of who he was, but Haru, just as she remembered him. 

"You're underneath the main laboratory."

"What?"

Kabuto hoisted his pen in the air. "The main laboratory is above us. You've been transported to the lower level."

Haru tried to sit up and found himself bound to the chair. "Why? What's going on?"

The scientist sighed and set his clipboard on the counter. "Must we go through this every time? You, Subject 15, have a very unique gift, one that is being studied under extreme conditions, for maximum results."

"Maximum...what?"

Kabuto spoke slower. "Maximum results. You've stagnated upstairs. It's clear you won't progress under such comfortable conditions. Yours is the kind of jutsu that thrives in adversity. We had no idea you'd be able to completely regenerate after so much and yet, you have! Congratulations. Most impressive, 15."

"I don't understand." Haru groaned, the pain in his head throbbing. 

"Ah yes, there seems to be some cranial damage even you can't repair from. Interesting in its own right. I've been wondering why your brain is the slowest thing to regenerate. We lose a bit of your memory every time. I'm curious how long it will be until you don't remember anything at all?"

"Bastard." Rin snarled. 

Kabuto stepped closer and studying his subject's expression. "Let's see what you remember. What are you called?"

"Haru."

"Haru? Who is Haru? We certainly don't call you that."

He hesitated, not wanting to place Rin in danger. It wasn't clear how much they knew already. Why couldn't he remember what he'd told them in the past? 

The scientist smiled. "Ah yes, that's the name Subject 18 gave you, isn't it? How quaint. Do you remember what you named her? It doesn't matter really, I'm just curious."

"No."

Kabuto's smile wavered. "Assistant, please apply corrective action level 3."

"Level what?"

An older man stood behind Haru and shocked him with a cattle-prod, holding it against his chest for three seconds. 

Kabuto's head tilted to the side and he raised a hand to stop the action. "I don't enjoy being lied to, 15. It muddies the results. Tell me what you remember or I'll have to increase the discipline. Now, how old are you? Organically speaking."

"Seventeen."

"Good. What is your most attractive trait to the Sound and Lord Orochimaru? What were you made for?"

Haru panted from the lingering effects of the shock. "I possess restorative jutsu. My body can heal itself from damage. Lord Orchimaru desires that to further his cause." 

"Yes."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture. "Who's this girl?"

Haru's eyes took in the image of Rin, staring back at him with a neutral face. He recognized the stance; the scientists took progression photos every few months... her hair was longer. 

His tongue ran across his dry lips. "Subject 18."

"Good. You're doing even better than last time."

"Last time? What happened last time?"

Kabuto flicked up his glasses, the faint traces of a smile at the edge of his mouth. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. One level at a time."

He placed the photo back in his pocket and withdrew a scalpel from the metal tray by the bedside. 

It shone in the yellow light, looking wicked in contrast.

"So, we've recorded that you can heal from various elemental jutsu; water, fire, earth. I'm curious how you'll fare against non-organic methods."

"What are you going to do with that?"

The walls of his mind wavered around them, as Kabuto came to the top of the gurney and poised the scalpel by his eye. "I'm going to start with the right and see if it grows back quicker than the left."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys hanging in there?? I know these chapters have been horrific, but they're important. Gaara will be making an appearance in the next part. Stay with me and let me know your thoughts!!


	38. Boom!

"Man the east gate! You there, head to the north, tell them to lock down! No one gets in or out, is that understood? Bring me Ani Chou."

"Yes, Captain!" The various shinobi disappeared to their stations. 

Kankuro glanced up to the moonless night, its inky blackness enhancing his night vision. It made sense this all would be done in the shadows; seemed like every wicked thing was these days. 

"Captain, the guard are posted and waiting for further instructions." A female shinobi reported from her kneeling position. 

"Good."

"You asked for me, sir?"

Kankuro tapped her shoulder, so she stood beside him. "Ani, we're going on a hunt."

"Yes sir, hunting for what?"

The puppet master flexed his hand, strings of chakra buzzing through his fingers. "There are only so many people in this world who have mastered my style of jutsu, let alone this village. I've pulled the thread. You and I are going to see where it leads."

~

She'd been in there a long time. 

Gaara shifted his weight in minuscule movements, terrified of doing something to disturb her process. 

He knew time worked differently on the subconscious plane, but he didn't account for being the one waiting on the outside. 

Pulling a handkerchief out from his pocket, Gaara dabbed at Rin's split chin, wincing when she did.

"Sorry."

She didn't respond. He wasn't sure why he expected her to.

Temari paced like a jungle cat, her muscles taut, scowl hard on her mouth. "How much longer?"

"I don't know."

"Well, how long did she take with you?"

Gaara's eyes flicked up to her. "I wasn't keeping track."

She grunted and leaned against the wall, examining the pair. "What do you think is happening in there?"

The Kazekage curled his arm up, so that she was cradled against his chest, resting his chin on her forehead. The amount of perspiration worried him. "I'm not sure. I can't imagine it's good."

Temari held her own arms, her voice softening. "Do you think we should pull her out of his mind? Is she strong enough to take whatever he's showing her?"

Gaara's mouth stitched into a soft smile and he brushed her hair back. "If there's anything I'm sure of, sister, is Rin Ito's strength. She'll come back to us."

"How can you be so sure?"

His gaze found hers. "She survived me, didn't she?"

Temari didn't know what to say to that, so she said nothing. 

Not until the explosion from above them rocked the laboratory, sprinkling dirt from the ceiling onto their heads. 

Gaara's sand rushed to protect them, hardening against the falling pebbles and exposed roots.

Temari was on her feet instantly. "What the hell is going on up there?!"

"I'm not sure. Find Kankuro. Assemble your team and address the cause of the explosion."

She nodded. "Right. What about you?"

Gaara looked down at Rin, who's breathing quickened a few ticks. "I'll stay here as long as I can. I trust you to handle the threat, but don't hesitate to call on me, if you can't. I'm still the Kazekage of this village and I'll put my people first."

"Yes sir."

"Dismissed."

His extended hand moved the protective sand from overhead to the large door, moving it just enough for his captain to slide through, before slamming it shut behind her. 

Gaara held his precious one close, his lips to her ear. "Hurry, Rin."

~

The stone houses stood quiet in the night, so quiet they seemed to hold secrets of their own. Each one felt as if they were conspiring against him. 

Kankuro turned to his partner. "Stay close, we're almost there."

Ani quickened her steps, her kunai out and at the ready. "Sir, why have you selected me for your escort?"

"Are you questioning my judgment, lieutenant?"

She bit the inside of her cheek. "Certainly not, sir. It's just, I haven't been on any solo missions with you yet. If there's a pressing threat inside the village that calls YOUR attention, shouldn't you choose a more experienced shinobi?"

Kankuro smirked. "Trust me, you're plenty experienced for what I have in mind."

The tone of his voice made her face flush. 

They approached the building she knew as the prison, the same place rumored to hold the mad Sound captive. 

Kankuro came to the back side and turned to face her. "We're here."

Ani glanced from him, to the wall and back, confused. "Sir?"

"Lieutenant Ani Chou. What's the meaning of your clan's name?"

"Loosely translated to 'butterfly,' sir."

"And what does your jutsu specialize in?"

She swallowed. "Insects, sir."

Kankuro smiled. "Exactly. Believe it or not, there was a time when your captain was bested in a one-on-one fight."

Ani tried not to show she didn't doubt that fact. 

When she offered no surprise, Kankuro cleared his throat. "There is a shinobi in the Leaf, whose insects completely tore through my chakra strings, and even more importantly, tracked down my position from their residue alone."

He took hold of her hand, sending the blood racing to her cheeks. "Captain!"

Kankuro placed her open palm on the stone wall. "Let's see if the Sand's insect keeper can match the Leaf's."

Ani looked from his eyes to the wall and exhaled. "But I... yes, sir."

Her eyes closed, chakra focusing to the core of her body. 

Kankuro stared, not caring that it was rude or making her uncomfortable, he wasn't going to miss this up close for anything. 

He'd watched this particular kunochi very carefully at her Chunin exam. The Chou clan had but one daughter, out of seemingly endless sons, and though she was proving to outshine her brothers at every turn, not a scrap of credit had gone to her skills. 

This was her time to show her worth to one of the head captains of the Sand. 

The swell of her chakra lit up her pretty, dark skin in a blue light, as she removed her jacket, exposing the tattoos that waited underneath. 

The insignia of her clan, two lines of green and black butterflies, lifted from her arms and flittered around her head, sprinkling them in their iridescent dust. 

She lit up the moonless night. 

Kankuro watched, mouth slightly open at the sight, when she wedged her fingers into the holes he indicated. 

The butterflies nestled around her hands, licking up the scent, holding it in their memory.

"The keeper of these strings is still in the village."

"Can you track them?"

"Yes, sir."

"Excellent."

He stood to the side, letting her lead the way. 

Ani walked in an almost trance-like state, her movements slow and fluid, extending her hand for one of the butterflies to land on. "They say we're close."

Kankuro looked around. "That can't be right, we're in the council's quarters."

Her glowing blue eyes sized him up. "We're close."

He licked the salt from his lips, tightening his puppet's strings around his fingers. "Well, this changes things."

The butterflies traveled from one house to the next, lingering for a moment, sniffing out their prey with an almost hungry dedication. 

Kankuro never considered such beautiful creatures to be so terrifying, but then, most dangerous things had some level of beauty to them. 

Ani stepped forward a bit before freezing in her tracks. 

The Captain steadied himself, sliding Crow out from behind his back. "Lieutenant?"

She sniffed the air, the shimmering butterflies wafting around her head. 

Suddenly, her arm shot out to the side, extended finger pointing to one door. "In there."

"Are you sure?"

Her face was deadly serious.

Kankuro's lips curved into a smile. "Well, all right then. Let's see if he's home."

BOOM!


	39. After Boom

Rinnnng.

The piercing noise rang in Kankuro's ears like a bell shoved straight into his brain. 

The person they tracked down was waiting. He's barely made it to the door, before the whole thing blew out. 

Crow took the brunt of the explosion, splattering the puppet into pieces. His sacrifice spared both mater and lieutenant from the spiraling shrapnel.

Kankuro flew back at least ten feet, his body shielding Ani, who had the wind knocked out of her, but was more or less intact. 

Hordes of people retreated their homes, frightened by the sound and the bright light, chaos surrounding the pair of shinobi like circling flies.

"

"We're under attack!"

"Run!"

"Kankuro! Are you all right?" Temari appeared beside him, her voice echoing in his ears as if he was underwater. 

He felt himself lifted to his feet, head spinning, stomach threatening to unload his dinner on her shoes. "Temari?"

"What happened? What was the explosion?"

His senses came rushing back and he pushed past her, dizzy eyes trying to focus on the masses of fleeing people. "We have to find him. He's somewhere in the crowd. Used the explosion to hide."

"Who? Who are we looking for?"

The vomit refused to be tamed. 

Temari's hand came to his back, turning up red through his shirt. "You're hurt. You need to go to the medics."

"No time! It's Yashida. That little bastard. I'll kill him with my bear hands!"

"How do you know it's him? What has Yashida done? Kankuro! Stop for one second and explain this to me!"

Ani used the wall to climb to her feet, spitting out blood from where she bit her tongue. "Captain Temari."

"Report."

"Yes, ma'am. Residue from the councilman's chakra was found at the prison. My butterflies followed his scent here."

"He set a trap for you?"

"It appears so, ma'am."

Temari's mind raced with the possibilities, her hand coming to her chin. "That means he knew you were coming. The councilman's house isn't that far from the prison. There's no way he would have had time to set up a bomb and escape. What's going on here?"

Her eyes scanned the tops of the buildings, a distinct feeling like she was being watched, crashed over her in waves. 

She noticed the screaming villagers and the mass of shinobi who rushed to the scene, everyone bumping into each other like frightened cattle. 

"Stay put, Kankuro, I've got this."

Temari opened her fan, one of three moons exposed, and blew a gust of wind towards the panicking crowd, sending people to their knees.

All eyes turned back at the unexpected force.

Her voice rang with command. "Villagers of the Sand! You are to evacuate to the lower shelter! There is a terrorist amongst us and your security is sniffing him out. If you see anything or anyone suspicious, you are to instantly report it to a Sand shinobi. Do not panic. Take your loved ones and head to the shelter. Clear the street!"

Like ants to the hill, all of the villagers quickly assembled into lines and evacuated. It wasn't the first nor the last time they'd go through these kinds of things. The memory of war lingered in the back of their minds like a deadly shadow. 

Peace never seemed to last. 

She folded up her fan and caught her brother trying to stand up again. "Sit."

"But I..."

"Sit!"

Her hand forced him to the ground. 

Kankuro pushed it away. "You need my help to fight him. Yashida's more dangerous than he's led us to believe."

"I'm aware. All our council members have some form of blood on their hands. Just like we do."

The puppet master pulled his strings, bringing the bits of Crow to him. "I knew he dealt with traps and explosives. I didn't know he added puppetry to his skillset."

"How very unobservant of you."

He scoffed at her tone. "You're in charge of security. Why didn't you notice?"

Temari rolled her eyes. "Yes, I spend all my vast amounts of free time watching council members playing with dolls."

"Puppets!"

"Regardless. Neither of us were prepared; a problem we will rectify quickly."

She snapped her fingers for Ani to come closer. "Take the captain to the hospital. Make sure he stays there."

"Yes ma'am."

Kankuro groaned when the lieutenant slid his arm around her shoulders. "What are you going to do?"

"Report this to Gaara and then take over your hunt."

"I think he already knows."

She studied his face, when it nodded for her to look up. Temari's gaze went to the single eye that rested above their heads; Gaara's second sight. 

The eye disappeared and she took that as her answer. 

"Troublesome brothers." Temari mumbled to herself. 

Ani started to lead Kankuro away, until his voice stopped her. "Be careful, sis. You know Yashida isn't acting alone. This stinks of something bigger."

"I know."

"How's it going with Rin?"

Temari looked away. "I don't know, but Gaara is going to have to abandon her soon. We need him."

"Never going to happen."

"What do you mean?"

Kankuro smiled, despite the rising nausea. "Our little brother is in love, Temari. No one is coming between those two." 

~~~

Gaara opened his eyes, adjusting to the bright light of the lab, from the darkness outside. 

Yashida.

He wouldn't have suspected him, but then, who would have?

Gaara's money was on Kaba long before Yashida, at least she was up front about her distrust of his authority. The small, unassuming man, never spoke much about anything in particular. In fact, the only time he ever made his voice heard, was when the others already expressed an opinion he agreed with.

What reason could he have to get involved with this kind of attack against his own village? 

The Kazekage looked down at Rin's face, which drew together in an expression of pain. Sweat poured down her face, dripping into his sleeve. 

"Rin..."

Gaara looked closer and saw bruises blooming on her fair skin, like poisonous black and blue roses. "What's happening to you?" 

As if in response to his voice, her eyes suddenly shot open, but didn't focus on him. 

Instead, they rolled to the back of her head, the stark white shinning sick against her tormented expression. 

He shook her. "Rin! Rin! Wake up!"

Her right hand never left Haru's forehead, but her left shot to Gaara's, fingers latching in his hair, stinging his scalp, even before his sand could react.

Her voice took on a haunting, second tone. "Somnam Jutsu."


	40. Confessions

Temari climbed to the top of an abandoned building, the chakra in her feet sticking her to side of the wall, like a hawk at its perch.

Everyone was already making their way into the shelter in neat, hurried lines. She scanned the crowd, looking for one face in particular. 

Surely, he'd know they'd figured out who he was by the trap he left? There's no way he'd hide in the shelter with the rest. It would make him a fish in the barrel. 

No, he was hiding somewhere in the empty village and she was going to sniff him out like the rat he was. 

She'd thought about tracking him by foot, but then remembered who it was she hunted; Yashida, fourth son of the Sato clan, master of traps. 

Temari approved of his application to the council herself, though it was more nepotism than anything else. The Sato clan long held a seat beside the Kazekage for their tactful minds. It made sense to earn favor with the head trappers in the village. 

She looked down at the road beside her and noticed the faintest disturbance in the dirt. "Gotcha."

Temari threw a kunai down to the spot and an explosion set off where she would have stepped. "You little bastard."

The hastily-laid trap was unlike the careful man, but she knew he was pressed for time. He'd anticipated the Sand guard's pursuit, but he underestimated one thing; a powerful and pissed off woman.

She waited for the right moment, testing the breeze with her open hand and extended her fan, letting the wind carry her over the top of the alleys. 

Along the way, she threw down various weaponry, triggering his traps. 

It slowed down her hunt, but the thought of a child stepping on them made her blood boil. The Captain fully intended to live up to the Sand's reputation for dealing with traitors... personally. 

The wind roared over the village, nearly forcing her off her perch. Temari had to maintain balance, while still searching and was coming up empty. 

"Where are you?" She snarled.

The final trap ignited at the Southern wall, where this whole thing began. 

Temari pointed her body into a nose dive, slamming her fan closed and opening it again just before she landed. 

The standing guards saluted her. "Captain!"

"Has anyone passed through the hole? Speak!"

"No ma'am!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, ma'am! We've been watching the entire time. Ever since the councilman told us you were coming and told us to close the space off behind him."

"What?"

One of the guards looked from the wall, to Temari. "Councilman Sato, ma'am. He told us you were on your way to assist with the terrorist, who may be escaping and to be ready to fight."

She closed the distance between them, grabbing the man's collar, her voice deadly in the night. "When have I ever relied on a weakling councilman to give my orders, soldier?"

"Um..I.."

"The next answer you give me, will determine if I shed only one man's blood tonight. Where did Yashida Sato go after he spoke with you?"

He swallowed, cold sweat pouring down his back. "He went through the wall, ma'am. Said he was setting traps on the outside, in case the terrorist from the Sound escaped your grasp."

"How long ago?"

"Just now, ma'am. Five minutes at most."

She threw him away from herself and climbed the steps to the top of wall. Her keen eyes scanned the desert sand, trying to find a figure amongst the shadows. 

Of course, he'd come through the South wall. He'd planned that from the beginning, in case things went badly. 

Clever little rat. 

That's when she saw him, a mere speck against the darkness. 

She scoffed. "Bet you think you've escaped me. Think again."

Extending her fan to its full form, Temari bit her thumb and trailed the blood across it. "Summoning Jutsu: Kamatari!"

The white, one-eyed weasel sprang forth from her fan, it's scythe at the ready. 

She pointed to the fading image of her prey. "Cut him down, Kamatari, but leave some for me."

The demon shot through the sky like an arrow from a bow, straight and true. It drew its scythe back and sliced the escaping man out from under his knees, sending him spiraling down a dune. 

Temari smiled. "Perfection."

Using the fierce desert winds, she glided towards her captive, who'd rolled down about twenty feet and was still trying to crawl to his freedom. 

Kamatari curled around her, satisfied at its attack.

Temari ran her fingers down its soft, white coat as it faded away back to the world of yokai. 

She could hear Yashida's sobbing grunts echoing off the dunes, each one more pathetic than the last, as she made her way towards him. 

"That was quite a stunt you pulled, councilman. You'd very nearly escaped us. If I wasn't so insulted by your final ploy with my guards, I'd almost be impressed."

He twisted on his back, throwing a shuriken at her. "Get away from me!"

Temari dodged it easily, his movements were getting sloppy. "Are you really still fighting? Even with your legs gone and your blood pouring out?"

Yashida panted, the loss of blood gaining on him. 

The Captain wasn't more than five feet away now. "You wasted your talents on the council. Clearly, you have more fight than you let on."

He stopped crawling and laid on the ground, watching her close the distance between us. "Please! Please don't kill me."

"Mm hm."

He started to cry. She hated when they cried. "Come now, councilman. Let's take this like a warrior, shall we?" 

"It's not fair."

That caught her attention. "What isn't? You've turned against your village, your Kazekage. You endangered the lives of everyone around you. What isn't fair about that?"

Yashida sobbed, covering his face with his hands. "I never wanted to do any of that. I don't even know why I did it."

"I'd like to know that as well. The Sato family has always been loyal to the Sand."

"I am!"

Temari closed her fan and crossed her arms, but her fingers stayed on the kunai hidden in her belt. "Well, you certainly have an interesting way of showing your devotion. Why did you do it, Yashida? Why did you want to hurt your village."

"She made me!"

"She?"

His cries were feral, pitching and falling in his misery.

The broken cry of a wounded animal.

"I... I never wanted to hurt anyone. I don't even know why I did these things. They just sounded so right at the time. She said it would be all right. She promised I was doing the right thing, but now, I don't understand it. I don't understand anything!"

Temari felt a string of pity pull in her heart.

This wasn't her first kill; she'd lost count of the men she'd slaughtered in the past. The light leaving their eyes, the cries for mercy, all of it, she knew, but this felt different.

He felt different. 

She knelt down beside him, taking his hand into her own, her voice a whisper against his sobs. "Your life is ending, Yashida. The scythe slit your femoral arteries. I don't expect you to survive another ten minutes at this rate."

His breath hitched. 

She squeezed his hand. "But, you have a chance now, to die a traitor or, one last time, serve your Kazekage. Tell me what happened and I'll see to it, that your family doesn't know the extent of your involvement."

Yashida inhaled, the rattle in the back of his throat, confirming her suspicions. "It started out in the darkness."

~

Gaara was falling. 

The world rushed past him, darkness shrouding his descent. Up and down, left or right, nothing made sense in this place. 

His hands flailed around him, trying to catch onto any foothold to steady himself and found none. 

He brushed an arm past his head. "Sand Wall!"

For the first time in his life, the ever-present force didn't come to his aid. He tried again, pulling both arms up and the result remained the same. 

Wherever he was, his sand wasn't welcomed. 

Panic flittered on the edges of his mind. Where was he? Why was he falling and worse, what would be waiting at the bottom? 

"Wait a second..." He focused his mind, his memories piecing together the image of Rin slamming her hand against his forehead, the haunting tone of her voice when she induced over him.

There was a flash of light to his side, pulling his attention to the right and the image of white walls and hands gripping onto the arms of a metal chair, assaulted him. 

Gaara covered his face with his arms, when a wicked looking scalpel came near the host's eyes, piercing them. The world around him turned red, the blood of the past, dripping down the walls of this mind in raging currents. 

"This isn't my memory. This isn't my mind. How does Rin do this?"

"Take a breath, always start the journey with a deep, cleansing breath." Her voice came to his mind and he followed her instructions. 

Breathe in... 1...2...3... and out...3...2...1.

He tried, though it was difficult with the sensation of lost gravity and a mind that was showing him horrific images at every turn. 

Finally, though it took more times than he'd liked, Gaara calmed himself and the world around him complied. 

His feet settled on fleshy ground, soft and malleable beneath him. The sensation reminded him of trudging through mud, sinking his footsteps down with each step. The experience of walking through a mind, that wasn't his own, made him feel like an intruder.

It felt wrong, he wasn't supposed to be here.

Gaara noticed the chains hanging from the walls. "This isn't my kind of darkness."

He weighted the chain in his hand and narrowed his gaze when it came back red. "This is a different form of cruelty."

A scream made him jump, dropping the bloodied shackles. 

It reverberated the walls surrounding him and rippled the floor in angry waves, causing him to nearly lose his footing. 

How Rin managed to walk through the mind so easily was impressive. 

His legs felt wobbly, as he tried to rush down the hallways. It reminded him of the first time he paid a visit to the Land of Waves and stepped off the boat. 

Back then he had his sand to steady him, now, he was on his own. 

Another flash of light appeared to his left, this time holding the image of a much younger Rin. She was sitting on a white bench, braiding her hair.

Gaara stopped to watch, smiling at the look of concentration on her face, as she mumbled to herself. "Right and then left and then middle. Right...left... middle?"

The braid knotted up in the middle and she let out a frustrated grunt, tossing it behind her. 

Gaara's mouth opened to laugh, when a different voice did it for him. 

"All that chakra control and you can't even tame your own hair, 18?"

Eighteen? What's eighteen?

"Shut up! It's harder than it looks."

"What's so hard about it? It's literally three steps."

Rin stuck her tongue out. "Then you try, oh great 15. Since you're so good at everything."

Gaara watched when the memory shifted and two hands, that didn't belong to him, came to her frazzled hair. "Okay, so it's left...middle...right."

"Nope."

"Um, middle... left and then right?"

Rin made a noise like a buzzer and Gaara smiled at her attitude. Her fire was prevalent even in her youth. 

The hair in his hands fumbled together, knotting in the middle and he felt the same frustration his host did.

This shouldn't be that hard. Why was is it hard?

Rin turned her head and grinned at him. "Not so tough now, are you?"

Gaara memorized the playful smile on her face and felt his heart race. He wanted to kiss that mischievous smile, elicit the stream of giggles that made his head spin and he realized that he was, but it wasn't him doing it. 

Gaara's smile faded, as the memory did. 

He shouldn't feel jealous, of course Rin had a life before him, but watching another man spark that light in her eyes...

His feet quickly turned away from the image and he continued on towards the wailing, trying his best to ignore anything else that popped up to block him. 

The screaming pitched and faded away, sounds of torture and agony drifting through the channels of his mind. 

Gaara felt like he was going in circles, how was he supposed to navigate a brain that wasn't his own? Why did Rin bring him here in the first place? How was all of this possible? 

Suddenly, a female scream joined the male's and it made him stop in his tracks. 

He knew that voice. 

Abandoning all sense of direction, the Kazekage shot forward through the darkness, tripping over chains and skeletal hands and all manner of things put up to stop him. Nothing would stop him from coming to her side, when she screamed like that. 

Gaara turned one of the many corners and nearly stumbled over the sprawled form of Haru and the curled-up girl, right beside him. 

"Rin!" He yelled, kneeling beside her.

"Stop it! Stop hurting him! Please!" She sobbed, holding her hands to her head. 

Gaara slid his arms around her. "Rin. Open your eyes. It's me."

She threw her hands against his chest, shooting away from his grasp and throwing herself over Haru's body. "No more! Leave him alone!"

"Rin..." Gaara stood helpless. 

"You're not going to save her." A voice made him startle. 

He turned around, trying to peer through the near pitch black. "Who's there? Show yourself!"

"Funny little thing, isn't she? Always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong."

A shadow moved in the darkness.

Gaara's hand raised to summon his sand, before he remembered it wouldn't follow him here. "What's going on?"

The voice laughed. "I'd think it's quite obvious, though it may not be to someone who isn't a mind-melder. How did the Kazekage find his way here, I wonder?"

Gaara's eyes turned towards Rin, who was still covering Haru and watched as she lunged forward, fighting at something that wasn't there. 

"Rin."

"Wait a second. You'll see where her efforts have been getting her." The voice sounded horrifically pleased with itself. 

Rin conjured a knife out of thin air, her talents for imagination creating whatever arsenal she needed and she slashed it against the wall, cutting deep. 

Both Haru and Rin screamed when the same wound appeared on their bodies. 

The voice laughed. "Over and over she's done this and still hasn't figured it out. It's a little embarrassing, really."

"This is sick." Gaara snarled, trying to gain on whomever it was in the shadows. 

"This is justice, Lord Kazekage. But, I'll ask again, how did you find yourself inside this mind? I know you haven't the ability to perform the Sleep-Walker Jutsu."

He stopped in his tracks. "How do you know about Rin's jutsu?" 

A malicious chuckle rippled the walls around them. "Because I'm the one who invented it."


	41. Dangerous Creatures

"It started out in the darkness." Yashida's voice rattled in the back of his throat. 

Temari squeezed his hand, keeping him grounded. "What did?"

Yashida panted. "You know I'm the fourth son of my clan, yes? That means I'll never lay claim to the head, not before my brothers. They're all talented shinobi. Warriors. I was never a warrior."

That was true. Temari, herself, fought beside the Sato boys. 

Each were capable and built for the battleground, near replicas of their father. Only Yashida, took after their mother, his body slight, his mind sharp, but gentler than the rest of his kin. 

Even with his knowledge of explosives and traps, he could only do so much in a hand-to-hand fight.

"Father never expected anything out of me. My council seat was the greatest success, I'd ever own. He was proud of me for that. But that was it, I met my purpose at the age of twenty. Nothing else was expected of me. I'd marry a nice girl, not too pretty, so she wouldn't outshine my brother's wives, but good enough for our bloodline. I'd have children, sons, preferably."

That comment irked Temari, but she maintained her stone expression.

"I'd reached my peak and I was bored with it. My life was so painstakingly boring. I hated the women they'd paired me with. All stupid, vapid, noblewomen, who couldn't hold a conversation with me, outside of tea and floral arrangements. I wanted something exciting. So, I went to the Mirage."

She wanted to roll her eyes. Temari heard of the Mirage before, but certainly never visited.

It was a place, on the edge of the desert, where you discarded your senses, for impulse, and hedonism ruled with a seductive fist. 

Of course, someone like Yashida would occupy a place like that. He must have traveled back and forth all night to cover that distance. 

"You're judging me. It's okay. I don't blame you."

"What happened when you went to the Mirage?"

Despite the gaping wounds that were once his legs and the steady chill that was overtaking his body, the dying man smiled. "Everything."

He inhaled; the memories of lewd activities fresh in his mind. "I tried everything my salary as a councilman could buy; drugs, liquor, women, all of it. But, the boredom set in again. I was masking the real problem, until I met her."

Temari's ears perked up. "Who?"

"The girl from the Sound."

Images of Rin flashed through her mind. "Rin Ito? The one who was brought for the Kazekage?"

He shook his head. "No, though they do wear the same face."

"I don't understand."

"It surprised me too, when I saw her in the courtroom that day. The resemblance was so uncanny, I thought perhaps she was a twin. Little did I know, the Kazekage's new pet was related to my desert rose, but not a twin, at all."

"Sister?"

"Daughter." 

Temari's jaw dropped, her mind spinning with the information. "What did she want?"

Yashida moaned, the loss of blood clear on his face. 

She shook his arm. "Stay with me, Yashida. Tell me what happened next."

"She offered me something new. A drug, without the side effects. Sex without the consequences. She went into my mind and oh... the things she did."

"I don't need to know."

The councilman sighed. "I went back to see her, every night. I spent all the money I had requesting her. She was a drug to me. The sweetest I'd ever tasted. She'd ask me about my job, about my life, made me feel important. She respected me, like I'd always wanted to be respected."

Temari knew where this was going. "She asked you about the Rin Ito, didn't she?"

"She did. I asked how she knew about the Kazekage's request and she said she knew her personally. Then, she asked me other things. Secrets about the village. About security."

"And that didn't tip you off?"

He groaned. "It's hard to think about anything else when she's riding your..."

"Stupid man."

"I was. She made me stupid and then she made me weak. I needed the feeling she gave me. I needed her jutsu, but she withheld it from me. I was on my knees, begging her, sobbing at her feet, but she still denied me, until I told her everything. It didn't seem like that big of secret. The Kazekage hired a girl to help him sleep. How was that ground breaking?"

Temari sighed. It never ceased to amaze her how easily men could be manipulated with sweet words and experienced hands. 

Yashida started to shake. "Getting cold."

"I know."

"After begging and going without her, she finally casted on me and then...then everything was strange. She convinced me to bomb the south wall and gave me her headband to plant there, so the Sound would be suspected. She brought the boy Ms. Ito loved back from the dead and set him against her. Used my puppetry jutsu to make him attack her. She did terrible things and I... I helped her do them. God... I helped her."

Tears streamed down his face, his hand clutched Temari's. "I'm so sorry. I'm a stupid, prideful, fool. I don't deserve the Kazekage's kindness. I had everything and I threw it away for a good feeling. I'm sorry."

Temari's other hand came to his eyes and she held it there. "Shh, it's all right, Yashida. Rest now. Everything is all right."

He sobbed under her hand. His face pinched together in sorrow, until his cries quieted and his grasp on hers went slack. 

The Captain stood from her perch and looked from the trail of blood on the white sand, to the moonless night above her.

A woman brought him into this world and another took him out of it.

Women were dangerous creatures. 

~

Gaara maintained his stance. He relied heavily on his sand, but that wasn't the only experience he had.

"Who are you? Show yourself, coward."

"Coward, am I? I prefer to think of myself as a tactical master."

He didn't say anything back. 

The voice sighed. "Oh, very well, if you insist."

Suddenly, a light appeared before them, like a torch, but so much brighter. It filled the room with a dull, orange light, illuminating an unconscious Haru, a confused Gaara, a sobbing Rin and a woman who wore her face.

She smiled. "Surprised? I'm sure this is a shock to you."

"I don't understand."

Her smiled transformed into a cruel laugh. "Twists the mind, doesn't it? Seeing the face of the one you love on someone else. You would have known me, Lord Kazekage. If things kept going at the rate, they are, I'm sure you would have called me, 'Mother-in-law' before too long."

Gaara's eyes widened. "You're Rin's mother?"

She shrugged. "More or less. She said it was nicer to think of me that way, instead of the cast-off model. Even gave me a name, if you can believe that? Yua."

"Which means 'affection.' Obviously, you don't feel the same way."

"I don't?"

He looked down to the fresh gash, he knew would be bleeding in Rin's waking body. "Clearly."

Yua sighed and approached the pair, both still trapped in their nightmares.

She patted Rin's head, sending waves of anger through the Kazekage. "Of course, I love my little protégée. Everybody loves her. Didn't you know that? You, of all people, should."

Gaara's feet slid a few inches towards her.

"I wouldn't come any closer, if I were you."

He froze. 

Yua brushed back Rin's hair. "Her chakra is almost depleted. I always told her to work on her focus, but, as usual, she's let her emotions get in the way. I knew they would. Subject 15 always brought out the woman in her."

"Subject 15?"

Her eyes took in Gaara. "Oh, she hasn't shared all of her past with you, has she? What a sneaky little thing for her to do."

"I know about hers and Haru's relationship, if that's what you're getting at. Rin has always been honest with me."

Yua stood from her perch, crossing her arms, with a smile that chilled him from within. "Has she, Lord Kazekage? What secrets have the two of you whispered in the night?"

"There haven't been any secrets."

"That's laughable. It's written all over your face. My Rin wormed her way into your heart and, the best thing out of this, is how easily you let her and how, even now, you don't realize why she was sent to do it."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

He knew he shouldn't entertain her statements, but he'd hoped the bided time would allow Rin to figure out how to escape from wherever she was. 

The more Yua focused on him, the less she was on Rin and that's all he could do, at the moment. 

"You sent a request for a kunoichi from the Sound, yes? One who could give you the peace, you sought?"

"Yes."

"Did you know there were two of us? In fact, I have more experience than Rin. She may be the model made after my DNA, but I have the skills which would have benefited you, far more than she. Her talent lies in healing, mine is control. Everyone in this wide world, knows of the monster that dwelt within you. I find it hard to believe it was completely removed, just like that. There is still darkness inside you, Lord Gaara. I can smell it."

He felt caught in her gaze. She may have worn Rin's face, but her tone of voice, her mannerisms, everything else was different. 

She was a cat and he was the mouse she wanted to play with, before she devoured him. 

"So, why weren't you sent, if that were the case?"

Yua shrugged, her canary-smile stretching. "Why indeed? What reason could Lord Orochimaru have, to send his favorite pet to the Sand? Why extend the soft hand, when I could solve your problem in one night and be done with it?"

Gaara didn't answer her question, a part of him was asking it as well. 

She sauntered up to the man before her, her hips swaying with a sexuality that was engraved in her steps. "She was sent to gain your trust, Lord Kazekage. Once she had that, it would be all too easy to manipulate you to the Sound's wishes. That's all you ever were to her; nothing more than an arranged meeting that would blossom into a fortuitous match for us."

"That's not true." 

Yua stopped her taunting, pulling away to look at his face. "You don't actually think she's loves you, do you?"

"Yes."

Her hands came to her mouth, barely hiding the expression that was a mixture of joy and pity. "Oh... oh you poor thing. You poor, stupid man! Think back, has Rin Ito ever said that she loved you? Have the words actually left her lips?"

Gaara tried to think. He knew they'd felt something real and he'd loved her, but if it was actually put forth like that...

"No."

Yua nodded. "No, she won't say that to you, because she doesn't love you, not really. She pities you. That's the cruel thing about my little Rin."

Her hands came to Gaara's face, stroking down his high cheek-bones, his chiseled jaw. "She comes to you with sweetness. Her soft, lulling voice, the tender brush of her hands. The way she looks at you, like you're the most important person in the world. I may be controlling and aggressive, but Rin Ito is a savage and you were her latest prey."

Gaara froze, her words sinking into his soul.

Yua brought her lips to his ear. "You were so desperate for someone, anyone to love you. Oh sweet boy, you never stood a chance."

"That's enough... Mother."


	42. Showdown

Yua froze in her steps, hand hanging mid-air, just off Gaara's cheek.

She expected a lot of things to happen that night, but the sound of Rin's voice, confronting her, wasn't one of them. 

"Step away from him."

Her eyes raced through her options. Too late to go back now. 

Instead, she took a breath and exhaled. "Well, good morning, sunshine."

Yua's movements were slow and purposeful, as she turned to greet her younger self. "Don't you look... haggard?"

Rin stood with one arm gripping the other, a barrage of slash marks and bruises up and down her body. 

She spit out the blood pooling in her mouth. "I've had a rough night."

"Clearly."

The silence hung thick in the air, neither party knowing what to say. Their eyes spoke volumes; Rin's devastated and angry, Yua's surprisingly calm. 

"Mother, what's going on?" The question was quiet and innocent.

"Would you believe me if I said, this was all a test? Trying to see how much you'd progressed in your jutsu?"

Rin's eyes narrowed. 

Yua sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "No, I suppose not. Too bad you woke up so soon. I was hoping for a lot more fun than this."

"Fun?" Rin pointed a broken finger at Haru's body and winced at the pain shooting up her arm. "You call this, fun?!"

The older model smiled. "At the moment, no. But I'll tell you one thing that was."

She was suddenly in front of Rin, her words dripping with venom. "Bringing back your boyfriend from the dead. Sliding my fingers in his brain. Twisting around his memories of you. That was fun."

Rin shoved herself away, stumbling over her own feet. 

Her chakra was almost gone, the feeling of dizzy weakness nearly overtaking her vision.

She had to shake her head to fully gain her focus again. "You did this? You brought Haru back? Why? I don't understand. I don't understand any of this!"

Yua rolled her eyes. "Of course, you don't. You never see anything outside of your little world, do you? Have you even noticed that your current affair is here and hasn't moved a muscle since I spoke to him? You didn't even deny my words. How sad."

Her attention turned to Gaara, who was indeed standing so still, she barely registered he was breathing. 

She glared. "I know that's not really him. He can't be here. That's one of your tricks."

"You think I would muster up such a fine specimen for you? Look around, child. I've created a world of horror, not pleasure."

Rin hesitated. "He's really here?"

"Apparently. If you didn't bring him here and I didn't, maybe there's something more interesting about the Kazekage than either of us realized?"

Rin ignored her query and stumbled over to the stunned man. "Gaara... what are you doing here?"

His pale eyes regarded her. "You pulled me in."

"What? I didn't. I couldn't. I've been casting on Haru, there's no way I could do that on two separate minds at once."

"You did and I'm here."

Rin's hands came to his arms, feeling the chakra sliding off him in waves. Of course, that's what happened. 

She turned her attention to the woman she considered family. "My chakra was depleting, thanks to you. I must have latched on to the strongest being nearby and pulled him in with me. Did you know we could do that?"

Yua crossed her arms. "No. It seems you have a trick up your sleeve. Not that I should be surprised."

Rin assessed her options. "I need to send you back, Gaara. You can't stay on this plane for much longer."

"You need my chakra, correct? I'm staying until you're done."

"You can't help me with this. You have to go. Now."

"I'm staying."

Yua clapped her hands. "Well, not that this isn't a touching scene, but you may want to snap out of it and pay attention to the other man in your life, Rin. I don't think he's much left for this world."

Haru groaned and it sounded painful. 

Rin left Gaara's arms and rushed to her friend, who was trying to stand. "Haru, stay down."

Her hands pushed his shoulders down and came back red and sizzling. 

His eyes found hers. "Rin? What's going on?"

Pieces of his arms came off in her hands, skin worn away, as if she were burning him.

He grunted under her touch, pushing her away from him. 

Tears welled in her eyes. "I... I don't know. I don't understand any of this."

"Crying already? That didn't take long." Yua's voice was cold. 

Rin looked from her hands, to her mother. "What's going on? Why are you here? Why did you bring Haru back like this? How did you even do such a thing?"

"Let me answer all your questions in one gesture."

She walked over to the wall of Haru's mind and extended her hand.

Out of nowhere, a whip conjured in her grasp, hooked at the end with a metal claw. She raised it above her head and slashed it down the wall, tearing an angry looking gash. 

Both Rin and Haru screamed, the fresh wound on their backs spurting blood. 

Gaara winced at the motion, but stayed where he was, trying his best to find a way to conjure up his sand in this place. 

Rin panted, electric bolts of pain shooting down her spine in waves. "Bitch."

Yua smiled and addressed her. "Is that any way to speak to your mother?"

"You stopped being my mother when you reanimated my past boyfriend and trapped my current one in his brain."

"Hm, technicalities."

Rin raised up on her knees, holding the wound that ripped her skin down to her waist. "So, you found a way to link Haru and I in his mind. What damages him, hurts me as well."

"Obviously."

"How?"

Yua balanced the whip in her hand. "Do I really need to teach you how your own jutsu works? It's no secret that our host can harm our waking bodies. That was your first lesson."

"Drain our chakra, yes. Damage us mentality, but not physically. More importantly, why am I the one hurting him?"

She grinned. "Why indeed?"

Rin rose to her feet. "I'm not here for your riddles. Tell me what you've done."

"You don't make the rules here. You're going to sit back and listen to me. Unless you want to lose both of them?"

"What?"

Yua tapped her wrist. "Time is running out, little sparrow. Gaara is feeding you his chakra by the minute. What? Thought I wouldn't notice? The stronger you grow, the weaker he becomes."

Rin's eyes turned to the Kazekage, who shook his head, trying to convey he was fine, but she noticed the sheen of sweat on his brow.

The sight made her stomach turn. 

She refused to be responsible for bringing Gaara more pain in his life. 

"And we both know your precious Haru's body is deteriorating, as we speak. How long would you give him, Rin? Medically speaking?"

She looked down at Haru, who was curled in on himself, the pain of whatever she'd done, amplified. 

He'd grown weaker and weaker since the first time she saw him. Though she didn't want to admit it, she knew he wasn't meant to last beyond his mission and time wasn't on their side. 

Rin held her arms around herself, standing beside Gaara, her voice much calmer than she felt. "All right. You have something to say to me? Now is your chance. Tell me why you've done this."

Yua paced back and forth at her leisure, trailing the vicious whip along the floor, as if she didn't notice it leaving small cuts along her victim's bodies. "Hmm where do I begin?"

"Why not how you were able to harm Haru through me? What forbidden jutsus have you been practicing?"

"In good time. I don't feel like explaining myself that far yet."

Rin felt a heat rise on the back of her neck. 

Yua was purposefully wasting time, making both Haru and Gaara weaker, but there wasn't anything she could do to stop her, at this level. She needed to keep her talking until she could figure out their next move. 

"Fine, how about when you decided to kill me?"

"Ooo fun topic."

Rin's mouth hardened. "When was it, Mother? When I didn't stock the shop's pantry to your liking? When I picked herbs under the full moon instead of the crescent? What was my great sin to warrant this kind of betrayal?"

"It's nothing you did, child. It's what you didn't do."

Rin's gaze narrowed. 

Gaara felt his limbs growing heavier. His chakra was fading faster than he'd thought possible.

Rin could sense it too; she was feeling more alive with each passing moment and that spelt danger for him.

Her eyes flicked from Haru, to Yua and back to Gaara. She had to do something and do it quickly. 

She knew just the thing. 

Crossing her arms, her voice took on a tone that almost sounded bored, if not vindictive. "What didn't I do that upset you so, Mother? Was it when I refused to fall into your madness or when I didn't push Orochimaru out of my bed?"

Yua froze.

Nailed it.

Her mother's jaw tightened with clenched teeth. The whip in her hand lashed out, striking the floor and slicing an open gash across the pair's chests.

Haru whimpered. "Rin... don't."

She winced at the now searing pain, raising a hand to her chest. "Seems that struck a nerve. I knew you were jealous of us, but I didn't know it went that deep."

Yua stalked from her position and grabbed Rin by the jaw, holding her in place. "You selfish little bitch! You didn't even want his attention and you had it anyway! You were his pet and I was cast off as nothing!"

"That's not my fault."

"Nothing ever is, is it? Sweet, gentle Rin, with your oils and ribbons. It should have been me! I'm superior to you in every way! You were made as an accident! A freak experiment!" Yua screeched.

She tossed Rin away from her and raised her whip to strike the wall again. 

When she did, Rin's hand came into Gaara's, her words quick and frantic. "Get out of here."

"What?"

"Now!" She raised up on her toes and planted her lips on his. 

Gaara froze at the sensation, but when he opened his eyes, he was back in the waking world. 

His breath came out in heavy gasps, sweat pouring down his face. 

The Kazekage searched around the massive lab and found it just as empty as before, except for the girl in his arms and the man in hers. 

"No! Rin!" He roared, shaking her. 

Both she and Haru were covered in fresh wounds, their bleeding forms staining the white floor, but she didn't wake under his touch. 

Gaara held Rin's face to his. "Take my chakra, Rin. Take it and beat her back. Please."

His voice echoed in Haru's mind and Rin tried not to acknowledge it.

She'd already hurt him enough. 

Yua stopped her enraged whipping and noticed the light, that was Gaara's chakra, was missing.

She stared at the whip in her hand and back at her daughter, laughing to herself. "Oh, that was very clever. You got under my skin and bought time for your lover to escape. I'm almost proud."

Rin began to circle, her steps careful. "That's one less problem, now it's you and me."

Yua raised her arms, so that the whip was tight behind her back. "You know that if you try and harm me, you'll never save Haru."

Rin's eyes turned down to her friend, who was fading away as they spoke. "I was never going to save him. You know that."

"Maybe." Yua matched her circling, the wicked smile never leaving her face. 

"So that's what all this was about? That sick bastard, Orochimaru? You knew it wasn't my choice. He claimed me, not the other way around. I didn't ask to be made. I didn't want to be his plaything."

Yua snarled. "That makes it so much worse. I was cast out for a younger model that wasn't willing. You had untold power at your fingertips. The favor of the creator. The opportunity to be his vessel and you didn't even want it. You're a spoiled thing, Rin. Spoiled and stupid."

"What can I say? I guess Orochimaru doesn't like his women crazier than him."

With that, Rin extended her hand and conjured up a katana, the only weapon she'd had any interest in pursuing during her training. 

Yua regarded her blade with a manic smile. "Well, well, look who found her teeth."

"I don't want to do this."

"I don't care what you want. For once, I'm going to make sure you won't get your way. You think I'd let you come here, seduce the Kazekage, and gain power over the Sand AND the Sound's leaders? No. You won't have that chance."

Rin braced herself for her mother's whip, shuffling her feet to the side. "Then come at me and I'll show you which of us is the superior model."

Yua cracked her shoulder, assuming her snake-strike position. "All right then, little sparrow... give Mommy a kiss."


	43. Casualties

"Captain, you need to lay still." Ani pressed his shoulder back against the hospital bed for the fifth time. 

Kankuro growled. "We don't have time for me to waste around here! That little bastard is still at large!"

Three medics fussed around him, trying to remove his clothing and chart his injuries. 

The puppet master swiped at them. "Enough! I'm warning you all. Let me be on my way."

"Captain!" Ani's sharp voice echoed through the hospital room. 

Her dark eyes caught him in their wake, a fire blazing behind them. "Sir. You will sit still and you will let the medics help you and that's final!"

Kankuro sat stunned at her outburst. 

Ani always held such quiet resolve, her expressions dimmed down over years of reinforcement and criticism. He didn't think he'd so much as heard her complain, let alone bark an order.

She looked to the medical professionals expectantly. "Well? What are you waiting for? Do your jobs."

They jumped out of their temporary stillness and set back to their work, pulling the patient's shirt over his head and trying not to react when he winced in pain. 

Kankuro felt as if his head were five times bigger than its normal size, but he managed to breathe through the nausea. "Ani, I know Temari told you to bring me here and you had to check me in yourself, but I'm fine now. You don't have to babysit me."

"Don't I?" She snapped.

"You're seeming to forget that I'm your commanding officer, lieutenant. If I say I'm going, I'm going. You can't stop me."

Ani took a step closer and poked her finger in the fresh puncture wound on his side. 

Kankuro let out a yelp and a few choice curse words. 

The nurses scolded her. "That behavior isn't helping, lieutenant."

"My apologies, but I think it's necessary."

She moved aside, so that she wasn't blocking their work and sat herself in a waiting chair, in the far corner of the room. 

Kankuro hissed in pain, when they poured antiseptic in his wound and started stitching him up. His eyes drifted to where the lieutenant was waiting, arms crossed, unfamiliar scowl plastered on her face.

For a moment, it was like seeing a younger form of his sister and the thought made him shiver. 

It took a while, but the medics finally bandaged him up, tying off one arm into a splint and bandaging where he hit his head. 

"All right, Captain. We've stopped the bleeding and set your arm. It's a very good possibility you've suffered a concussion as well. You're lucky to have been that close to an explosion and still moving. Now, it's up to you to rest and recover. I trust you won't give us any more trouble with that, tonight?"

Kankuro glanced over to where Ani was sitting, staring at him with narrowed eyes. 

"No." He lied.

"Good." 

The older doctor came over to where the kunoichi sat herself and placed a hand on her shoulder. "He's all yours, lieutenant. Guard him well."

"Mm hm." 

Kankuro waited until the doctor left, before reaching for his shirt. 

Ani was on her feet within seconds. "Just what do you think you're doing? You were told to rest here!"

"I heard."

"Then why are you getting out of bed?"

He struggled to throw his jacket over his bandaged arm. "Because I don't owe you an explanation. Look, I'm grateful for your help, but I don't have time to lay about in here. The village needs me. Gaara and Temari need me. I'm no good to them in here."

"And what good are you if you collapse again?"

Kankuro's mouth formed a hard line. "We're not going to tell Temari about that."

"What? That you fainted and I had to carry you here?"

"Men don't faint. We pass out. World of difference."

"Uh huh."

Ani closed the distance to the bed and took his coat out of his hands. 

Kankuro stared at her, his expression incredulous. "Lieutenant. Give me my jacket."

"No sir."

He bared his teeth. "This is a direct order, from your commanding officer. Give me my jacket and get out of my way."

"I can't do that, sir."

Kankuro rose up from the bed, brushing her away, as he did. 

A rush of dizziness overtook him and he stumbled, falling on her waiting shoulder. "Shit."

Ani lowered him back to the bed, her voice softening. "Captain, please."

He shook his head, trying to clear out the feeling of being light-headed that wanted to take him to his knees. "Why are you insisting on this, Ani? Just let me go."

She bit her lip. "Because you saved my life and I'm going to make sure you don't get hurt again."

Kankuro looked at her and saw an expression on her face, he hadn't before. "What are you going on about?"

Her eyes turned down to her lap. "You took the brunt of the explosion. Your favorite puppet is shattered into pieces and you still threw yourself over me, just in time. I should have sensed the trap. I wasn't careful and now, you're injured. Your arm is broken, you're concussed and it's all my fault."

He didn't know what to say, he'd never experienced this kind of consideration from someone outside his family before. "It wasn't your fault. I was too eager to catch him. Don't blame yourself."

The lieutenant bit back her emotions, but refused to look him in the eye. "So, please, follow Captain Temari's orders. Follow the medic's orders. Lay back and let me take care of you. It's the least I can do."

They didn't say anything for a long time, neither certain of how to break the silence. 

Kankuro studied Ani, memorizing the way she looked in that moment; her lovely dark skin, the braids which she always kept in pristine lines, her big, doe-brown eyes turned downward and worried for his wellbeing. 

He took a deep breath and laid back against the pillow. "All right, lieutenant. All right."

Her gaze finally left her clenched fists and settled on him. "Can I get you anything, sir?"

"No. Just stay close, okay?"

He closed his eyes, the exhaustion of fighting against his body, finally taking him. 

Despite herself, Ani felt her mouth, that was tight with holding back her guilt, soften into a gentle smile. 

She scooched the chair closer to the white bed and gingerly took his hand in hers. "Yes, sir."

~

Temari made her way back to the village. 

She didn't bring Yashida back with her. It was best for his family not to see him in that state. She'd make up some story about how he died fighting off the Sound terrorist and was lost in the chaos. No matter what, she'd keep her promise to a dying man and lie for him.

It wouldn't be the first time. 

Memories of grieving families flooded her mind. No matter how capable her army or how many times she drilled them, causalities were unavoidable.

Her father told her that once, before he passed. 

"Temari. You're going to have to oversee operations one day. You may have your mother's face, but your spirit takes after me and we both know that. You'll lose people. Men, women, young soldiers who have no business in the field. Be the kind of leader who makes decisions with your mind, not your emotions. The mind will never mislead you. It's the heart, daughter, the heart will kill you."

She remembered how he'd looked at the sole picture left of their mother, when he said that. A rare moment of vulnerability, from the stoic man, she respected and feared. 

If she'd known that was the last conversation they'd have, she would have said something in return. 

Instead, she simply bowed and left for the Chunin exams at the Leaf, never knowing that her father would soon be killed and an imposter would wear his skin.

Temari tried to live her life by his advice, always putting her heart on the back-burner and lead with her mind above all things.

However, there were two boys, that always made that difficult for her. 

Three... if she counted a lazy, cloud-envious fool in the Leaf.

But she wasn't counting him. 

"Certainly, no time for that kind of thing in my life." She said to herself as she passed through the gate into her village, rubbing away at blood that dried on her hands.

The streets were quiet, the citizens secured in the underground shelter. 

Temari was sure she'd snapped all the traps Yashida left, but took a quick scan, just in case. 

Evidence of explosions scarred the ground. Shadows of a panicked man and hastily laid plans, littered the streets with disturbed Earth and damaged houses.

It was going to be a challenge explaining this kind of chaos, but she'd find a way. 

She always did. 

Her steps followed the path up to the site of the only properly set explosion, that started her hunt, in the first place. 

Yashida's house was brought to rubble, a pile of rocks serving as a makeshift tombstone. 

"Foolish man." She murmured to herself. 

The Captain was about to turn away, when she suddenly heard something; a pain-filled groan coming from the wreckage. 

She whistled to some passing guards. "Help me! Someone's trapped inside the remains of the house!"

They set to work, digging through stone and wood.

Yashida's house held a second, lower area, a cellar, by the looks of it. Temari didn't know why she was surprised. Of course, the master of traps would have secret rooms. 

The cellar's integrity remained, despite the mess around it, but the wooden floors had buckled beneath the weight of the fallen ceiling.

The voice groaned again. It sounded feminine, older. 

"Don't worry, ma'am! We'll get you out of there."

When the shinobi threw away the last of the floorboards, they found something unexpected. 

An older woman sat in a ring of candles, all burnt away, save one, that kept her grounded. Her lips moved in rapid succession, sweat pouring from her face with an unforeseen effort. 

Temari climbed down through the hole in the floor and landed in front of the casting woman. Her hand reached out to touch her, until she heard the words that froze her in place.

"You're going to die here, Rin. It's over."


	44. Lavender Field

She wasn't sure how long they'd been at it; an hour? Two? Five?

Rin slid her blade up in time to protect her face, but only just. Her movements were slowing and it didn't seem like Yua was giving up any time soon. 

"You've gotten weak, little Sparrow."

"I haven't fought anyone in years. Nice perk of getting along with the people around you." Rin panted as she side-stepped another crack of her mother's whip. 

Haru managed to bring himself to a sitting position, his hand cupping his face, trying to see through the pain of having two mind-melders battling in his brain. He felt each slash, punch and tussle, as if he himself were at the brunt end of it.

Rin ducked out of the way, rolling to the side and landing beside her friend. "Haru. Stay down."

"This can't go on, 18."

"I know."

Yua cracked the whip and won her prize of slashing Rin across the face. "I wouldn't take your eyes off of me."

Shattered glass pain splintered down her cheek, dripping blood onto her hand, that was now plastered against her face. 

Rin hissed and so did Haru, both of them brandishing a new scar. 

She didn't know how to stop it. No matter what tricks she tried, they were growing weaker and Yua stronger. It didn't make sense. 

"I'm not going to beat her with brute strength. Her jutsu has always been stronger than mine." Rin thought to herself, narrowly avoiding another punishing blow. 

If she could take a moment to think, some way to strategize her next move, she could find a way out of this, but Yua was relentless. Her moves were quick, her body agile in its execution, more so than it should have been. 

Regardless if she was stronger, Rin should have been able to keep up better than this. 

"What am I missing?"

She glanced over to Haru, who was nursing the slash down his face. 

"Haru isn't going to last much longer," Rin tried to quell her rising panic. "His body wasn't meant to put up with this kind of beating. There's no way he'd recover from this. He's going to die in front of me again. I'm going to lose him again and there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can..."

Her eyes widened when she followed the trail of blood dripping from Haru's wound and saw that it didn't pool on his clothes, the way hers did.

"Wait a second..." 

Yua raised the whip and cracked it down, but Rin brought up her sword, smiling as it wrapped around her blade.

"Got ya." She teased and pulled with all her might, sending Yua flying towards her. 

The pair collided, tumbling over each other in a heap of punching, kicking, pulling hair.

Haru's hands came to his head, his voice ringing with agony, as Rin tussled with her mother, neither willing to let up. 

"Haru!" She cried, as she took an elbow to the face. 

He hissed in pain. 

"Haru! Listen to me! It's not real. None of it is real!"

His eyes opened. 

Yua slammed Rin's face into the ground. "Shut it."

Rin's foot came to her mother's chest and kicked her off of her mount.

As quickly as she could manage, she crawled over to Haru and took his hands. "Look at your hands and look at mine. I have blood from my wounds, but you don't. It's all in your mind. Whatever she's done, it's not real. You're punishing yourself for no reason."

"But I..."

Yua coughed, the wind knocked from her by Rin's kick. "You little bitch."

Rin held Haru's gaze. "Don't look at her. Look at me. Right here. Stay in my eyes, 15, stay with me. Don't go back into whatever trance she put you in. This is your mind. You control it.

"18."

Her hands came to his face. "If you think I can win. I can. You need to imagine me winning against her. I know you're tired, but you can do it. Believe in me and help me take her down."

Yua rushed over and grabbed Rin by her hair, pulling her away from the broken man. "That's enough chatting for you."

Rin yelped and frantically clawed at the hand clutching her hair. "Haru! Help me!"

"He can't." Yua threw her against a wall and conjured the vicious chains that decorated his mind.

Slamming them on Rin's wrists, the sharp inward spikes rammed through her skin, pouring blood down her arms. 

Yua put her hands in the air, as if she were surrendering. "Let's take a break from these vulgar fisticuffs, shall we? It's beneath us."

"Nothing is beneath you." Rin snapped, trying to focus enough of her chakra to release herself.

"Not when I want something, no. That shouldn't surprise you. But, I'll solve this your way, Sparrow, as a sign of goodwill. You and I have had quite the journey together in this life. It seems only fair I give you a fighting chance and I'm tired of this little tussle between us."

Rin's hanging body dripped with her life's blood, fresh slash marks, bruises and new black eye, glared her mother down. "You couldn't have summoned up that generosity sooner?"

Yua shrugged. "You needed to be taught a lesson. It was about time I put you over my knee, so to speak. But enough of that talk. You want our little Haru to choose your strength over mine, correct? Time to prove that I'm not only superior to you physically, little one, my jutsu is far stronger than yours." 

She turned to the subject of their quarrel and smiled. "Isn't that right, 15?" 

Haru's mouth opened, but no sound came out. 

His hands came to his head. "Please."

Yua smiled and sauntered over to her plaything, a cat stalking a bird with a broken wing. 

She stood beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder, her voice dangerously low. "You know what I'm capable of, don't you, 15? The things I can do to her. It would be more merciful to kill her now, wouldn't it? Unless you want me to do to her what I did to you? In the dark, on that cold, metal table."

"Stop it."

"I pulled you out of the ground, didn't I? Kabuto had his way with you, in more ways than I one, if I do recall."

"Stop."

"I'm the one who breathed life into you again and then we had all kinds of playtime, didn't we? Can you still feel my fingers in your mind, 15? Can you feel me inside of you?"

"Please."

Yua chuckled to herself and crouched down in front of him. "It's time to show her how close we've become."

Haru shivered. "Don't do this. Not to her."

She slid her fingers to either side of his head, resting on his temples. "See me with your heart, love."

Haru fought it, with everything he had, he fought to stay in control. 

Rin knew what was coming, she'd seen it before. "Haru! No!" 

Yua threw a hand back and conjured a gag that slammed over her mouth. "Shhh, we're having a private discussion over here."

"I won't do it. I won't."

Yua inhaled and breathed out two words. "Lavender field."

His eyes rolled back, his body shaking beneath her grasp. Yua held him steady, humming a gentle melody she'd heard several times. "15."

He stopped shaking, his head lolling down to his chest.

Yua released her hold and tilted his chin up. "15, look at me."

He did and his face blossomed into a smile that made Rin's heart hurt. 

His eyes searched Yua's face, his voice broken with its happiness. "18?"

"Hey 15."

"Where are we?"

"It doesn't matter. We're together again. Just like before."

His chest rose and fell in relief. "How did you escape Yua?"

"You saved me, remember? You saved me at the last moment."

Haru shook his head. "I'm sure you saved yourself, you never needed me to do that."

Yua laughed and it sounded disturbingly similar to Rin's. "Can you stand up?"

"Yeah, I think so."

She helped him to his feet, brushing her hand down his cheek and caressing it, as if she'd done it before. 

Rin shook her head, her fingers curling into fists from her chains. This was beyond cruelty, beyond anything she knew her mother would stoop to; this was sick.

Haru pressed his face to her hand. "18, I don't think I'm going to be around much longer."

"Shh, you're here now. Let's enjoy ourselves. I miss your touch, 15."

She curved her body so that Rin had a perfect view, flashing a wicked smile to her daughter. "Kiss me."

"But, how did you..." He shook his head, trying to clear it.

"How did I?"

"I don't understand how you fought back Yua. It was too quick. I thought she was going to kill you."

Yua giggled, her Rin-impression far too alike. "She didn't. I'm warm and alive. I'm in your arms, aren't I? Kiss me."

"But..."

She rose up on her toes and took his mouth, her arms locking around the back of his neck. 

Rin looked away. 

Though her heart found warmth in Gaara, there was a time when Haru was her world. It wasn't easy, seeing him with someone else, even if he believed that person to be her. 

She pulled at her restraints and found them loosened slightly. 

Yua was putting so much of her chakra into maintaining this illusion to hurt her, she wasn't focusing on Rin. 

"This is going to hurt." She thought to herself. 

Yua pulled away from kissing Haru and took his face in her hands. "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"Yua isn't gone. I have her restrained, but I can't bring myself to kill her. I need you to do it."

Rin froze, the realization of her plan sending shivers down her spine. 

Haru looked down, a slight glazing over his eyes. "How?"

Yua conjured up a dagger and placed it in his hands. "Quick and easy. Please? For me?"

She pointed Haru at Rin's hanging body. "Just over there."

Rin fought against her restraints, the spikes working their way into her wrists, searing pain shooting up and down her arms. 

Haru focused on whatever illusion Yua showed him, his stance sure, despite the weakness he felt. 

If he killed her in his mind, she wouldn't come back to her body. She wouldn't come back to Gaara. 

Her voice came out in a muffled scream when Yua smiled. "You're going to die here, Rin. It's over."


	45. Broken Chains

Death was a shapeshifter. 

Sometimes, it was a swift, violent end. A harsh, guttural cry on the battlefield, soaked in blood and regret.

Death was cursed, as the injustice of a life cut short, or welcomed as the peace to an endless struggle. 

Sometimes it was a child, other times a crone.

And sometimes, it took the face of an old friend.

Rin's eyes trailed from the brandished dagger, to her broken man who wielded it. There was no use in appealing to him, her mouth was gagged, her heart breaking and his eyes didn't even see that it was her. 

"You want me to kill your mother?" His voice wavered.

Yua's fingers danced along his shoulder. "Please. I simply can't bring myself to do it. I need your help."

"I don't feel right about this."

"You said you would do anything for me, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Prove it."

She slid her hands down to cover his and brought the dagger up to Rin's torso. "Run her through. Think of all the things she did to you. The pain she put you through."

Her lips came to his ear hot and tempting. "Think of the peace you'll find. Those voices in your head will finally stop. The screaming and the torment will stop. Just do it."

Haru's hands shook. 

Rin felt the restraints weaken even more. Yua's concentration was fluctuating. Her waking body must finally be running out of chakra. 

She edged her wrists back and forth, trying not to cry from the searing pain dripping down her arms. The sharpened spikes tore away at her fair skin, working themselves deeper with every movement. 

She wasn't sure she'd survive her escape, but one thing she knew for certain, she wasn't going to have her death on his conscious.

"What are you waiting for, 15? Do it."

"I..."

"Do it."

"I can't."

Rin stopped fidgeting and stared the pair down, her gaze wide. 

Yua's mouth curled into a snarl, her Rin-impression faltering. "Why not?"

He lowered the dagger and turned to face her. "Because I'm not a killer. This isn't right."

"Even after everything she did to you? The experiments? The resurrection? The trigger words? Manipulating your mind to punish itself whenever it heard Rin's voice?!"

"What?"

"You know what I'm speaking of. The days you spent being trained to hate her. The drugs and the injections, everything it took to connect your mind to destroy her. All of it!"

Haru's eyes narrowed. "Now, how would you know that, 18?"

Rin inhaled sharply and, for the first time since she revealed herself, Yua stumbled over her words. "You... you told me everything, remember? You told me what she did to you. How she hurt you. You told me everything, like you always do."

"Here's the thing though; I would never tell 18 that. I wouldn't subject her to that kind of knowledge. Even after the experiments they did, the torture they set me on every day, I never told her the extent of it. I've never let my pain be hers. Never."

He stood up from his crouch, his face melting into the impish grin Rin loved, so long ago. "So, something begs to be answered here. Who the hell are you?"

"I'm..."

Suddenly, he twirled the dagger in his hand and slammed it through her chest.

Yua gasped, her eyes wide and shocked. 

Haru pulled her closer to himself, shoving the blade further and further into her, until the tip showed through her back. "Because I know for a fact, you aren't my Rin."

Yua coughed, wet, frothy blood bubbling on the edge of her mouth. "Damn it."

Retracting the blade, Haru let her fall to floor in a heap, whatever illusion she had over him broken into pieces at his feet. 

He crouched down over her body, sliding her hair away from her face with the bloody tip of his dagger. 

Yua curled in on herself, holding the fresh hole in her body. "I thought... you weren't...a killer."

Haru thought for a moment. "I thought you were the love of my life. Guess we're both liars."

"Stupid dog." She coughed, as her body faded from his mind and back to her waking form.

Haru stood up from his perch and turned to Rin, who was still hanging from the wall. He walked towards her and broke away the restraints.

Though her wrists were bleeding and her body was covered in more bruises than flesh, she'd never felt happier than in that moment. 

Haru smiled. "Hey, 18."

"Hey, 15."

He gave a small laugh, until the dizziness took him and he collapsed in her arms. Rin fell down with his weight, holding him to herself. "Haru! Are you all right?"

He patted her arm, panting heavily. "Yeah. I'm good. It's all good now."

~~~

"She's wounded! Get the medics!" Temari's voice rang out with authority and the surrounding shinobi headed her call. 

She held the elderly woman's hand, making a show out of patting it. "Everything is going to be okay, ma'am. Just stay with us."

The woman's breath sounded wet and empty. 

The death rattle. 

Temari glanced behind her, checking her surroundings, before placing her lips to the woman's ear. "Now you listen to me. I don't know who you are. I don't know what's going on tonight, but I do know this. If I find out you've harmed my brother's woman in any way, you won't make it to sunrise."

Two shinobi appeared with a stretcher and placed her on it. 

The Captain watched them pull her out of the rubble and towards the hospital, her face a hard line. "Count on it."

~~~

After the patient was lifted to the medics and the traps were all successfully dismantled, Temari set her sights back to report to Gaara. 

How she was going to explain all of this in one night, was beyond her. 

Her fist came to the large door and struck out the knock that was saved only for her. 

She waited. 

No answer.

"That's odd."

Temari tried her knock again, louder this time. Still nothing. 

"Gaara?" Her voice echoed in the dark chamber. 

When he didn't reply, the small hairs on the back of her neck stood up. "Gaara! Open this door! Right now!"

She took out her fan and slashed away at the metal with her wind blades. 

They hardly made a scratch. 

"Gaara!" Her voice became frantic, slinging blade after blade at the door. 

"Temari..." His voice sounded weak on the other side. 

She pressed her ear to the door. "Gaara, open the door."

He groaned, the sand barely rising at his command, filling the entrance and nudging it open. 

She didn't wait for it, wedging her body in the smallest crack and forcing her way in. 

The sight waiting for her, was one that would haunt her memories, for the rest of her life.

"Gaara!"


	46. Goodnight

Blood. 

There was blood everywhere and her brother was sitting in the middle of it. 

Temari's mind flashed back to the first time she'd seen the power that lied within the One-Tail. The men sent to kill him, her father's best soldiers, flayed and plastered against the walls of the village, their intestines out for the birds to claim. 

One small boy, clutching his teddy bear and walking away like the sound of wheezing breaths and broken bones didn't phase him. 

Temari was nine.... he was six. 

She'd known firsthand the darkness that laid within her brother. Acts of cruelty expressed in mere boredom, a mind that placed no value on human life beyond his need to end it.

What she hadn't seen before, was the look on his face, when he held the body of the woman he cared for and the blood that dripped from her wrists, onto his arms. 

"Temari." His raspy voice acknowledged her. 

"Gaara!" She rushed to his side, her hands moving all over him, checking for any mortal wounds. 

"What happened?!"

"I'm tired." He said. 

Her eyes went to his face. "You're what?"

Gaara swallowed, his arms shaking. "Tired."

She looked to Rin, who seemed too still in his grasp, her chest barely moving. "She's draining your chakra. You have to let her go, Gaara. Release her, this instant."

"No." He groaned. 

Temari's brow furled. "You don't have a choice. Drop her, right now."

"I won't."

"She's going to kill you, Gaara!"

"Then I'll die."

"The hell you will." Her hands came to Rin's shoulders and found them cold under her grasp. She began to pull her away, narrowly tripping over the captive in the process.

"Sand wall!" Gaara roared, summoning up what strength he had and propelling Temari away from him. 

She slammed against the neighboring wall, but not enough to harm her. Despite his anger, Gaara set up a barrier of soft sand to lessen her impact. 

His hand returned to Rin, holding her close. "She's still fighting. So, I'll keep on fighting."

Temari shook the dizzy out of her head and focused on her brother. "You can't. Look at her Gaara, her wrists are cut down to the bone, her body looks like she's fallen down a canyon. You have to let her go. Please."

His pale gaze stayed firm, his hold on Rin tightening. "She's still fighting."

Temari's expression shifted from fury to sorrow. "You can't let one person take you from your village, Gaara."

He watched as she crawled towards him, her hands up where he could see them.

Temari kneeled before her younger brother. "It's my job to protect you, remember? You gave it to me yourself. I was supposed to guide and strengthen you. How can I do that, if you're going to throw everything away for a woman?"

Gaara's hand shook when it rested on her shoulder. "Because she's the woman I love."

Her eyes shot to his face. "You... love her?"

He nodded.

She didn't know how to respond to that. 

Kankuro said it before, they'd certainly discussed it, but hearing the words from his mouth directly, was an entirely different matter.

As much progress as her brother made in his rise to Kazekage, she didn't know he was capable of feeling that depth of emotion, let alone saying it out loud. 

This was going to make everything so much harder. 

Temari's hand came to his and she pulled herself closer, so that her forehead was resting on his, over the pair of bleeding shinobi. She'd never been this close to him before, but it felt right. Necessary.

Her voice was quiet and solemn. "If it truly is love, she will understand. I don't know Rin very well, but I don't think she'd forgive herself, if you gave your life to save hers. You need to let her go. Think of your people, of the families that depend on you, about your brother in the hospital and me, begging you to live. Please Gaara. Let her go."

His tired gaze turned to Rin, who hadn't stirred in what seemed like hours. 

With every new slash, each blossoming bruise, the fresh mark across her face, he knew she was in the fight of her life and, more painfully, she'd sent him back, so he wouldn't have to fight it with her. 

What else could he do for her?

The well of his chakra was nearly empty. 

His limbs felt heavy, his body chilled.

Even though he'd died once before, this felt different. He was giving someone else his lifeforce and praying it was enough to save her. 

But Temari was right. He didn't want her to be, but as usual, she was. 

He was Kazekage, before he was anyone's lover, no matter how his heart broke with the thought. He'd made a vow to his people, his family. He couldn't compromise that. 

Gaara shifted his weight, cupping Rin's face in his hand, pressing his lips to her forehead. His voice was broken, wavering in its cadence, as he whispered. "Rin. Come back to me. Don't stay trapped in that place. I need you to live. Please, please live for me."

~

Rin froze at the sound of another voice inside Haru's mind. "Gaara?"

"Come back to me."

Haru shifted on her lap. "Sounds like someone's calling you."

"Seems like it."

Gaara's voice sounded again, raw and pleading. "Don't stay trapped in that place. I need you to live. Please, please live for me."

Her friend sighed, using all of his strength to sit up. "You need to go."

"I know."

"So? Why haven't you gone, yet?"

She glanced around at the darkness in his mind. The vicious chains, the screams that still sounded in the distance. "I can't leave you here."

"I don't think we have much choice in that. It's my mind, after all."

"Look at this place. You don't belong here."

Haru shrugged. "Maybe not, but neither do you. You've got someone waiting for you."

She looked down, her heart sinking into her stomach. 

He laughed. "Hey, don't make that face. I'm gonna be fine."

"No, you're not."

"Yeah... I guess not."

The walls of his mind shifted, the fabric deteriorating around them. Rin knew what was happening, the last traces of his body were falling apart. He was falling apart. 

She felt tears well up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"I wasn't able to save you in the end. I tried. Oh god, Haru, please know, I tried."

He took her in his arms, shushing her. "You did save me, dummy. You saved me from the hold she had, didn't you?"

"You did that."

"Yeah, but I'll give you a little credit. You need that sometimes."

She laughed, despite herself. She didn't want to laugh right now. 

Haru sighed, resting his chin on the top of her head. "You know that guy, the one that's calling you?"

"Gaara."

"Right, Gaara. He's a good guy. I like him."

"You don't even know him."

Haru flicked her forehead, causing her to wince. "I know enough. He's seen your weirdness and is still around, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"Well, that should tell you something, shouldn't it?"

One of the four walls crumbled, the flashes of memory in Haru's young life moving like a jumbled bee's nest. Images of the habitat they grew up in, joking around the dinner table, a few passing trials, all laid out in a chaotic spread.

He watched them in amazement. "Wow, if I wasn't dying, this would be pretty cool."

Rin's breath hitched, her arms holding him tighter, as if she could keep him from fading away, if she tried hard enough. 

Even now, she didn't want to stop trying. She couldn't.

He smiled, but it was pained. "Sorry."

"I know we're running out of time."

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me what happened to you? What parts you remember? I want to know why this all happened. How you came back from the dead and why I'm losing you again."

Haru sighed and shifted so he was sitting on the ground, holding Rin to himself. "In the lab, the last time you saw me, I didn't fully die. I think you know that part, though. They took me underground and experimented on my resurrection capabilities."

"For how long?"

"Hard to say. Years... I think. Lost track of time."

"I had no idea. I would have come to save you, had I known."

He smiled. "I never doubted that. I'd dream about you sometimes. Come up with scenarios where you'd sense my presence and come storming in. Never happened though."

Another wall collapsed, the memories spilling out like oil over water; images of their first night together, their first kiss, her laughing face at one of his pranks.

Haru mused. "I think I died for real. Kabuto... well, he upped his methods for experimenting with me. I don't feel like going into that part."

Rin wasn't a stranger to the cold man's eyes on her. She didn't have to imagine what he meant. 

Haru swallowed, his breathing hitching. 

She looked up at his face and saw the cold sweat forming, the paling of his skin. "Haru..."

He smiled at her. "I'm okay."

Rin held tighter to him, feeling him fade away, even as he spoke. "I remember darkness, then sharp, stabbing light and your mother there. She'd harnessed the justu Orochimaru used to bring back the dead, but lacked his control over it. Cost her, her youth, you know?"

"What?"

"Mm hmm, how long has it been since you've seen your mother? Before you came here?"

Rin thought back. 

Yua said she was going to the Village hidden in the Snow, to further combine their technology with the shop's herbs and processes. She claimed she wanted to bring their practice to the new age.

That journey would have taken weeks.

"She knew I was going to the Sand. She knew everything."

He nodded. "Told me all about it. How much she hated you, her jealousies, everything. Half the time, I felt like a sounding board for her grievances, but the other half, well, you saw what happened. She'd cast on me day and night, working her way into my mind."

"She was the one who broke you?"

Haru sighed. "I think I was pretty broken before, but she didn't help. Sometimes she wore your face, sometimes not. That was the worst. She'd summon up images of you hurting me or me hurting you. I never wanted to hurt you."

Rin felt her arm being raised and he kissed the inside of it, bloodied and all. "I'm sorry I bit you, by the way. I could see myself moving, but couldn't stop it."

"It's okay. It wasn't the first time you've bitten me." She gave a small laugh and he joined her, holding her tight. 

The third wall fell. 

"Time's running out. You gotta go."

"I'm so sorry, Haru. I'm sorry for everything."

"Shh."

"But I..."

"No."

His hands brushed through her hair, twirling it around one finger, his lips coming to her ear. "I want you to know something, before I go."

"Hm?"

"I'm proud of you, Rin. I'm proud of the person you've become, especially after everything we went through. Everything you went through. The ways we've both been touched against our will and the things taken from us. But, don't let your heart stay broken, okay? Let him heal you, if that's what you choose."

"Haru."

His lips came to her cheeks, kissing away the tears. "I'm glad you walked around in my mind, one more time. Can I ask you for something? Just one more thing?"

"What?"

He pulled back from her and caught her eyes. "Can you smile for me? That's the one thing she never got right. No matter what else she copied from you, no one can smile, like my Rin."

She didn't want to smile. She wanted to curl in on herself and cry her heart out, but as always, when Haru asked, she couldn't say no.

Rin gave him the most convincing smile she could, though his face blurred in her eyes. 

Haru exhaled, one soft breath. "Yeah, just like that."

His arms came around her one last time, as the final wall came crashing down around them.

"Gettin' dark."

She sniffed. "Yeah."

"Goodnight, 18."

"Goodnight.... 15."

~

Rin opened her eyes. Haru did not.


	47. Unstoppable

"It's dark. It feels too early to be so dark." Rin's thoughts drifted.

Her muscles told her she'd been in one place for too long. She tried to stretch out her legs, but they felt heavy and useless. 

"Okay... let's try my arms then."

Her mind's eye saw them rising above her head, but the result was the same.

Wherever she was, her body checked out. 

"When is she going to wake up?"

A voice. Kankuro?

"Whenever she needs to wake up. Don't be impatient." 

Temari. 

"It's been four days. Shouldn't we be worried?"

"The medics say she'll be fine. They replenished her fluids and managed to save her arms."

My what?? Why did they need to save anything?! 

Rin thought about moving her arms again, but found the same result. 

The feeling of cotton sheets against her skin and an IV stuck in her hand, let her know exactly where she was, but something else caught her attention, a feeling she was used to having when she woke up from trials or experimentation... another hand in hers. 

The skin was cool and smooth. 

She'd know that hand anywhere. 

"Gaara?" Her eyes cracked open and piercing light came rushing through. 

"She's waking up!" Kankuro yelled and was instantly shushed by his sister. 

"The whole hospital doesn't need to know, dummy!" 

There was a sound of a smack against a head. 

Rin squinted and adjusted to the light. Her eyes drifted to Gaara, who was waiting at her bedside, her hand enclosed in his. 

"Gaara." She breathed. 

He gave her a soft smile. "Welcome back."

"Where did I go?" Rin's thoughts were jumbled. She couldn't remember how she got there or why it felt like a boulder rolled over her. 

"What's the last thing you remember?"

She considered the question.

Flashes of memory went through her mind, pieces of this and that, but nothing settled the way it should. 

"Um... I remember..."

Haru's face flashed in her inner eye. First, he was smiling and then screaming. 

Rin felt her bottom lip tremble. "I remember everything."

Temari looked down. "I'll go tell the doctor you're awake."

She started to turn away, before her hand grasped Kankuro's sleeve and pulled him with her, leaving only Gaara and Rin in the room. 

His thumb stroked the soft skin of her knuckles. "I'm sorry."

She wouldn't let herself cry.

If she started, she wouldn't be able to stop. It would come pouring out like a broken dam and there wasn't time for that. 

Rin took a deep, cleansing breath and focused on the man holding her hand. "How long have I been out?"

"A few days. You were in really bad shape."

She pulled up the arm that was hosting the IV and saw the various bruises and cuts peppering her skin. "So, I see."

Gaara exhaled one long breath. "I thought you said if you were hurt inside another's mind, it would only damage you mentally."

"Only?"

"You know what I mean."

Rin sighed, lowering her arm back to the bed. "That's the case normally and if it were only me inside his mind, that's what would've happened."

Her mother's face came to her memory and it made her teeth grind. "But Yua's induction isn't the same as mine. She feeds off fear and control. She was stronger than me."

Gaara's hold on her hand tightened. "You won, didn't you?"

Rin's eyes drifted to his pale gaze, the tears she was fighting to keep back, threatening to come to the surface. "Haru won."

He scanned her face, taking in all the micro-expressions flittering across it. Even though she was bruised and bloodied on the outside, despite the medics doing their best to clean her up, there was something broken on the inside.

Something that wouldn't be cured with a salve or a splint. 

Gaara leaned over the bed, carefully slipping his hand in her hair and resting his forehead against hers. "You both won."

They stayed like that for a long time, Gaara quiet, Rin fighting for control. 

Finally, she found her voice. "Where is she?"

"Who?"

Rin pulled away so she could look in his eyes. "Where is Yua?"

His eyes flicked away for a split second, but it was enough and she looked at the wall to her right.

"She's in the next room, isn't she?"

"Rin..."

The fire that kindled within took away her reason and she strained to stand up. 

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Rin, you need to stay down."

"Not going to happen." She worked her fingers into the fabric of the sheets, trying to move the blanket off of her. 

Gaara grabbed her hands and held them. "Rin."

"Let me go."

His voice came out with a bit more force. "Rin."

"Gaara please!"

"Stubborn woman, listen to me!"

Suddenly, his lips were on hers.

Though it stung from where her bottom lip was split, the feeling of his mouth on hers, quieted her a bit. 

Gaara's kiss was soft, but certain, drawing her out of her actions. 

She inhaled his musky scent, feeling the tingle in her brain, that was almost enough to disguise the sensation of her whole body hurting from the movement. 

He pulled away, his voice soft, but commanding. "Don't get up from this bed."

Her eyes caught his. "I need to face her."

"Not right now."

"You don't know how dangerous she is."

He gave her a face and gestured down the length of her body. "I think I have a fairly good idea."

Rin's attention stayed on the wall that separated the two casters. 

Gaara's fingers brushed her cheek, drawing her attention back to him. "You're in no condition to fight anyone. Look at you, you can barely sit up, let alone stand. The medics say you went through a different form of trauma than any of them had seen."

"Really? Then how are they going about treating me?"

She knew she sounded petulant, but being trapped by her own body's betrayal was enough to set her on edge. 

The Kazekage sat back in his chair, only satisfied when she laid down again. "They're treating you as if you've suffered a genjutsu injury."

Rin sighed, feeling her maturity return. "It's not that far off. I believe that's what she used on Haru to torment him into madness. Multiple inductions, combined will cerebral torture and a mastery of chakra transfer makes her a deadly weapon to an outside force. It's only because she was more intent on hurting me, than killing me, that I'm still alive now."

"What do you mean?"

She studied the holes in the ceiling, trying to ignore Haru's voice about the game they played to make experimentation bearable. "Yua had every intention of killing me, but she wanted to hurt me first. If she'd stayed focus on the end result, I wouldn't be here."

Gaara's brow furled. "I think you're selling yourself short."

"I'm not. Yua's always been stronger than me. It's only due to a freak accident, that I was created in the first place. Orochimaru's sick curiosity." 

He trailed his fingers along the stitched marks on her skin. "Fear and control don't equal strength."

Rin gave him a face. 

He smirked at it and continued. "Fine, it may equal a bit of strength. Anyone who's been on the battlefield knows that. You need endurance and control to win a war."

"See?"

Gaara's trailing fingers settled over her damaged wrist.

Gently, he raised it up so that it was resting on his heart. "But there are different kinds of strength and in my experience, love and compassion, will always win over fear."

His mind flashed back to Naruto's smiling face and then to Rin holding him at night. 

He stood up from his chair and kissed her forehead. "You're not just strong, Rin. You're unstoppable."


	48. Let's Have a Talk

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

Rin tapped her finger along with the rhythm of the machine beside her. It was completely unnecessary, seeing as she could breathe fine on her own, but it made everyone feel better.

She'd come so close to death; the over-protectiveness was understandable. 

Night descended on the hospital like a lonely cloud. Visiting hours ended long ago and even a Kazekage wasn't exempt from their policies. 

Rin shifted her head to stare at the square of glass that served as the lone window in her room. The moon was half-full, strange how it was gone the night of the attack. She'd lost a few days of her life in the process.

Her fingers curled into fists. 

No, she'd lost much more than just that. 

The image of Haru's protruding bones and hollowed eyes assaulted her whenever she drifted off to sleep. It would take years, if ever, for her dreams to return to the pleasant abyss she'd trained herself to embrace each night. 

And the person responsible was resting in the room right beside her. 

Rin knew she was there, could feel her presence with each passing hour. 

She'd promised Gaara she wouldn't try anything in his absence, but the thought still called to her. 

Her head turned, so that she was staring down the empty wall separating them. 

"I know you're there." Her voice sounded vacant in the darkness. 

Yua didn't answer. 

Rin wasn't sure what state they found her, everyone was being annoying careful about her feelings and what they should bring up. 

They wouldn't tell her much, except that Yua was alive and confined to her quarters until further actions could be decided. 

Her desire for revenge wasn't the priority.

Yua was an enemy of the Sand and would be put to trial for charges of terrorism, espionage, attempted murder and a list of other things, that numbed in Rin's ears, when they told her.

Though her muscles ached with the motion, Rin managed to throw her legs over the side of her bed. Her feet met the cold ground and it sent a shiver up her spine. 

She'd convinced the nurses to let her walk to the bathroom on her own, stating atrophy was setting in, but she was pretty sure they just didn't want to deal with her arguing anymore. 

Rin was anything, if not persistent. 

However, Gaara was just as annoying perceptive as she, when he posted a guard outside her door at all times. 

"It's to keep you safe, in case Yua finds a way out of her restraints." He'd offered as an explanation, but Rin knew better. 

He was keeping her from doing just the thing she was set on tonight. 

Enough time had passed. She didn't deserve to breathe the crisp air or to rest against a soft, cotton bed. Not when Haru would never do either again. 

"Stand up." Rin told her body. 

It didn't obey her. 

Her lip curled into a snarl and she slammed a fist against her thigh. "Stupid body. I'm telling you to stand up!"

Still nothing. 

Rin let out a long, frustrated breath.

Each time she went through this, it waned at her patience. She could have all of the kindness and compassion for her client's progress, but when it came to her own health, she was as bad as a toddler. 

After the fifth time of her standing and falling back to the bed, her legs finally found their strength and she stood, shakily, but still standing, nonetheless. 

"That's more like it." Rin said to herself and she used the wall to slide herself to the door. 

Peeking out the entrance, she saw her posted guard and breathed a sigh of relief at the face. "Ikki! You came all this way to protect, little old me?"

Her original guard turned and smiled at her. "Yes, ma'am."

She leaned against the doorframe. "I'm not used to seeing you without Kazue. Where is Mr. Strong and Silent?"

He laughed. "Oh, he's around. Said something about going to get a coffee. Apparently, my conversation isn't stimulating enough for him."

Rin batted her eyes, trying to give off an easy, flirtatious presence. "Now I can't imagine that for one minute."

It didn't work, but then, if she could see her bruised face, she doubted she'd be easily influenced either. 

Her legs trembled beneath her. "So, how long are you standing post?"

"All night."

"That sounds boring. Are you sure you wouldn't like a little break? I won't tell anyone."

Ikki's eyebrow rose. "And leave you defenseless? I think not."

Rin tried her best to stand strong, despite the wobble in her knees. "Defenseless? Who said I was defenseless?"

"Lord Kazekage, ma'am."

She scoffed. "Well, he's exaggerating. I'm perfectly fine. Look, even standing up all on my own."

Ikki glanced from the doorframe to her with a dubious look. "Uh huh, try to walk away from the door, then."

Rin bit the inside of her cheek, trying to distract herself from the pain, as she left the wall and stood up straight. It didn't matter that she suffered broken ribs on her right side or a fracture in her left tibia, she was getting to that room and no one was going to stop her. 

Even if it felt like she would throw up from the pain. 

"See? All by myself."

The guard looked her up and down. "I'm still not convinced."

"Oh, for the love of..." Rin bit off her swear. 

"That's quite enough of that." The harsh voice sent a shiver through both their spines. 

Rin winced and looked to Temari, who was standing in the hallway, arms crossed, glare cold. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"Stretching."

Ikki stood at attention. "She was trying to convince me to leave her unattended, ma'am."

Rin glared at him. "Blabbermouth."

He didn't look back, but continued to stare ahead, waiting for Temari's wrath. 

"Is that so?" She said, approaching Rin, who felt the edges of her vision darkening.

Temari looked her up and down and poked a single finger on her chest, sending her spiraling backwards. 

Just before she hit the ground, the capable woman dipped low and caught her. "That's what I thought. Back to bed for you."

Rin squirmed in her grasp. "I'm not a child, Temari!"

"And I have no patience for this."

"Put me down!"

"Gladly." Temari said and she dropped Rin unceremoniously onto the bed. 

A wave of fresh, grinding pain spread through her muscles and it took everything she had not to scream. She wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction. 

The scrap of the chair's legs against the floor seemed too loud in the quiet hospital and Temari sat herself beside the bed, the look of annoyance never leaving her face. "Let's have a talk, you and I."

Rin breathed through the throbbing in her legs. "What about?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about the weather? The migration of the northern birds? How you managed to nearly get my brother killed? Any of those would work."

The wave of nausea passed, leaving a cold sweat on Rin's forehead. "Is that why you've waited until everyone else was gone? You wanted to corner me."

Temari tilted her head. "I didn't want to be interrupted."

Rin's sigh was deep in her chest. "Say what you need to say, Temari. Games don't fit you."

The blonde captain crossed her arms, her voice low and dangerous. "Funny you mention games. I want to know exactly what kind of game you're playing at."

"I'm not following."

Her gaze narrowed. "I did some research on you, Rin Ito. Dug into your past a little. You've quite the interesting background. Laboratory experiment... concubine."

Rin's blood ran cold. "I was never a concubine."

"Oh? It's reported differently. Tell me, what exactly was your purpose for being made in the first place? It seems your original set of DNA is waiting in the room beside us and she nearly eliminated you, without so much as breaking a sweat. I've had my run-ins with Orochimaru. I know he's only interested in the superior models, so why were you created, when Yua was superior in the first place?"

"Why is this relevant to you?"

Temari's hawk-like gaze studied Rin's face. "Because my brother is in love with you."

Rin froze at the words. 

The Captain nodded. "Yeah, you don't like that term, do you? Funny how he's managed to admit it, but you haven't, yet. What's the hold up, Rin? Do you actually feel for Gaara or are you one talented little escort?"

Her hands curled into fists, squeezing the blanket so hard, it felt like it would tear. Her voice matched Temari's intensity. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Enlighten me."


	49. Knights in Shining Armor

Two kunoichi sat in a cold, dimly lit hospital room; one furious, the other calculating and neither willing to back down.

Rin's breathing was sharp in her lungs. "I don't owe you enlightenment. I'm not one of your troops. You don't have the right to demand anything of me."

"Maybe not. You certainly don't owe me, but you do owe him something. Even if it's just an explanation. Gaara has been through too much to have you play with him."

"I'm not playing with him. I'd never do that."

Temari crossed her legs. "No?"

"No."

The sound of the chair's legs as they scraped against the floor, seemed too loud in the still facility. Temari sat so that she was mere inches away. "How do I know I can trust you?"

"Why do you need to trust me? Why are you pressing this?" 

Rin's eyes turned to Temari and she did a little studying of her own.

She noticed the slight lines between her brows, evidence of a scowl that rarely left. There were a barrage of white marks, barely obvious to the naked eye, but proof of Temari's battle prowess. 

She wasn't some delicate desert flower. 

She was a warrior.

Her eyes were similar to Gaara's, but held such ferocity, it felt like they could cut without warning.

Rin could understand why men fell in line under that hawk-like gaze. 

There was a part of her that wanted to rebel against Temari, tell her off, the way she had the council, but Rin noticed something, that made her voice still in her throat. 

Those eyes were watching her so intently, but behind the suspicion and the hostility, there were two emotions battling for control; fear, and more importantly, hope. 

The fire that threatened to erupt within Rin calmed at that expression. "Temari.... you're amazing."

"Excuse me?"

"You're amazing."

Her eyes narrowed. "Flattery isn't going to get anything from me."

Rin smirked. "No, I don't think it will. Please believe me, I'm not trying to flatter you. I wouldn't insult you that way, but I think I've finally understood why we've clashed so much. Why you've been so fixated on me since I've gotten closer to Gaara."

"Because you had the possibility of being a great threat. That's not difficult to figure out."

Rin made a face. "I'm one person, Temari. Hardly a threat to you or your village. We both know you could destroy me in a physical fight, even if I wasn't laying in a hospital bed."

"Yes."

"But that's not why I scare you, is it?"

Her mouth formed a hard line. "Scare me? You think you scare me?"

Rin nodded, her face open and honest. "I know I do. When all is stripped away; the posturing, the security risks, when it comes down to the bare bones in your soul, we both know, I don't just upset you. I terrify you."

The stern woman didn't move a muscle. "Why?"

Her stillness was dangerous. 

Rin shifted so that her legs were over the bed and she was sitting up, facing Temari. "Because you're afraid I'm going to hurt Gaara. You can protect him from everything in this wide world. Whether it be enemy ninja, political mishaps or even his own inexperience at leading an entire village, you stand at his side. His valiant knight, always at the ready."

Her hand slid forward, resting gingerly on Temari's weathered grasp. To her surprise, she didn't pull away.

"But, you know in your heart that you can't protect him from me; a woman from the Sound, with a terrible past and a hold on his heart."

Rin thought back to the first time she spent the night with Gaara and how aggressive Temari had been the next day, warning that her job was to protect the Kazekage from all threats inside and outside the walls. 

"That morning, after I slept beside Gaara, you were warning me, weren't you? I thought you meant protect him physically, but you knew, before anyone else, that he was falling in love with me. Before the council, before Kankuro, maybe even before Gaara himself."

Temari didn't move from her spot. 

Rin's hand squeezed softly. "Of course, you knew first. Out of everyone in his life, you're the one who's the most concerned with his wellbeing and we both know why that is, don't we?"

The Captain swallowed the lump in her throat, when Rin said the words that made her want to break down. 

"Because you love him so much."

There was a crack inside the stone face she wore, the smallest splintering in her otherwise perfectly composed expression.

Rin's other hand came to hold Temari's, grasping them both and her voice was warm. "That's why you're amazing. The amount of love you have for him... it's truly incredible."

To her surprise, the Captain didn't break under her words, like she'd seen others do when she got to them.

Temari would continue to be composed up until the very end, even though she hadn't pulled her hands out of Rin's grasp. "I didn't always love him."

Rin blinked, remaining quiet, while Temari spoke her truth. 

"There was a time, and I'm sad to say, it wasn't that long ago, that I didn't love him at all. I was afraid of him, just like everyone else. He wasn't even a little brother to me, not the way Kankuro was. He was a weapon crafted by my father and, even worse, he was the monster who killed my mother."

Rin's thumb gently stroked along Temari's hand. "That must have been hard, losing your mother at such a young age."

"I know now it wasn't his fault. None of it was his fault. When Mother died, I took on the role for Kankuro and, even though I feared him, a part of me wanted to be there for Gaara too. I knew in my heart, it wasn't his choice to have Shukaku placed in him, but Father made it clear, he wasn't welcome in the family. The Chunin exams were the most time I'd ever spent with my youngest brother."

Her eyes turned up to meet Rin's and there was a deep sadness within them. "We ostracized him, just like the village, just like our father. Even when Gaara reached out to be loved by us... be loved by me, I pushed him away out of fear. I can't imagine how alone he must have felt."

"You feel guilty?"

"Yes. I do. I should've been there for him. Even if I was afraid, even if Father would have punished me, Gaara shouldn't have been alone."

She looked so determined.

Rin knew that face well, it belonged to someone who was used to dealing with hard things.

"I've been trying to make it up to him, ever since he rose to Kazekage. I've worked myself to the bone, trying to make his life easier; build a functional schedule, so he's seen in a positive light, squash rumors in the village, make sure he eats breakfast. God, he's terrible about eating breakfast."

There was a small laugh in her voice.

Rin thought about how lovely she was when she smiled. It wouldn't surprise her if there were many secret admires, who were too afraid to get close to the dangerous woman. 

Temari took a breath, her words coming to an end. "You're right, Rin. I am afraid of you, but not for the reasons you think. I don't think you're a bad person because of your past or your village. That would hypocritical of me."

Rin wanted to agree, but felt it wasn't appropriate. Not when Temari was being so open with her. "What are you afraid of, then?"

She inhaled. "I'm afraid that you don't understand the gravity of the situation you've fallen into. That you don't realize how strong the man you're courting is and..."

Her eyes captured Rin's, her voice broken. "How fragile his heart is. You're holding something precious in your grasp and if you break it, no one will be able to heal him. I can't bear that. I can't bear to see him alone again, not while I can do something to protect him from that."

Rin's mouth opened slightly.

This raw form of emotion wasn't what she expected to see from Temari tonight and she knew enough to understand how rare it was. She doubted it would happen again. 

It took her a moment to find her words. "Thank you for telling me that, Temari. I understand."

"Do you?"

Rin nodded. "Yes. Love isn't easy for me. You've looked into my past. You understand why that is. The closest thing I've known to it, was ripped away from me, only to be brought back, tortured and taken again because of my love for him."

She released Temari's hands, but didn't break her stare, so the sincerity of her words shown through. "I can tell you this, I've never been dishonest with Gaara, not for one second. I don't know how I feel right now, everything is too chaotic, but I do know I care for him."

"Do you love him?"

Rin looked down. "I'm not sure I even understand what love is. I know I respect him. I value his feelings over mine. I want to protect him, just like you. That's really all I can offer, right now."

Temari stood up from the chair and walked to the door. "If that's the truth..."

Rin stared at her in the hallway light. 

Temari's face was shadowed, but her voice was clear. "Then maybe I can bring myself to trust you. Just know, Rin Ito, I have my eyes on you. Stay in that bed until morning and I'll give you a treat for your honesty with me."

"What kind of treat?"

Temari looked to the right, where Yua's room was and back at Rin, her smile cold. "The kind that's fitting for dangerous women... like us."


	50. Final Words

The morning came in like a lion; hungry and consuming. 

Rin kept to her word of staying in bed, but she hadn't slept.

Her eyes stayed focused on the wall, separating her from the person who threw her world into a tailspin.

Even if they weren't together, Rin could sense Yua's presence, just as she was sure, Yua could sense hers.

The years they spent at each other's side, working, laughing, making the shop viable, all of it faded away. 

"I know you're there." The voice stuck in her mind like an ice pick. 

"I've been here." Rin replied silently. 

There was a pulsating of chakra shared between them, as both mind-melders healed from their wounds, their connection growing stronger. 

"Why haven't you come to see me?" 

Rin's eyes narrowed. "Trust me, I've been working on it."

"Well, aren't you sweet?" The voice sneered. 

She'd sensed Yua trying to connect all night. Any time she'd drift off, the nagging draw to open her mind caught her again, but she wasn't ready to let her in. 

With the rising sun in her window, the world seemed less terrifying, but with light, came visitors, chiefly Gaara.

If what Temari promised was true, Yua's ending was close and Rin wouldn't get another chance to speak with her alone. 

She took a breath and allowed the connection to complete. 

In her mind's eye, she saw Yua standing before her, looking so much alike, it wasn't surprising they shared the same DNA. 

Rin's image crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

"Who says I want anything? Maybe I'm just bored."

"You've been pressing at my mind all night, clearly you want to talk to me about something."

Her eyes scanned the image and found it fading in and out. Whatever they did to Yua in the next room, weakened her.

She raised her arms above her head and stretched. "It feels good to move again, even if it's only on this plane."

"You're confined, I take it?"

Yua lowered her arms. "Unfortunately. For some reason, they find me dangerous. Can you imagine that?"

Rin gave her a face. "What a wild assumption."

Her mother sighed. "I don't have much time left, Rin. Can we pretend to be nice to each other for a moment?"

"What do you want?"

"Are they feeding you well? I'm hardly getting anything."

"What. Do. You. Want?" Rin's voice was clipped. 

Yua jaw tightened. "Okay, I see you're not in a playful mood. I assume you know everything about why I did what I did, from Haru. I can't imagine he'd leave you in the dark."

"He didn't."

"He's passed on then, has he?"

Rin's chest hurt. "He has."

"That's too bad."

"Don't pretend like you're sad about it."

Yua held her own arms, cradling herself against Rin's anger. "I am, though. I know that's difficult for you to believe, but I'm sorry he's gone."

"Bullshit."

"Language, young lady."

Rin's image approached Yua's, her voice frigid and dangerous. "I'm disgusted looking at you. Say what you must, but don't lie to me anymore. You didn't care about Haru. You tortured him and sent him out to kill me. I've had enough of your deceit. Spit out what you must and be done with it."

Yua regarded her, scanning her eyes up and down Rin's angry frame. "My, my, look at you. My little Sparrow has grown up to be quite fierce, indeed. I'm almost proud. You really are my daughter."

"I'm nothing like you."

She smiled. "Aren't you, though? We share more than a physical resemblance. All your power came from me. It bled out of my body and into yours. You wouldn't be anything without me."

Rin turned away, walking towards the edge of her mind. "I'm not listening to this. You've wasted your last chance to speak with me. Goodbye."

"Wait! I do have something to say. Something important, I promise!"

Rin stopped and listened. 

Yua's breath came out hard. "I'm dying, Rin. You know that. I'm not sure I'll make it to whatever punishment they've lined up for me."

"And I care?"

Yua smiled. "I thought we didn't want any more lies between us. You're putting on Mommy's clothes and acting like you have my callous nature... you don't. It's what makes you different than me. Better than me, in some regards."

Rin turned and looked at the woman she considered family. "I never wanted to be better than you. It wasn't a competition for me. Why was it that way for you? Why couldn't you just love me like I'd always loved you?"

Yua shrugged. "It's just my nature."

Mother approached daughter, her hands up so Rin could see them, no sudden movements made. "You were made softer than me; gentle, instead of fierce. I couldn't understand why. Why would he bother with you, when he had me? I was the prime weapon for his purpose."

Rin sighed, looking down. "Because not everything is about power. Everyone has a weakness, even him."

"Lies."

She looked into Yua's eyes, even now, she couldn't conceive that their creator had any flaws.

How she could believe such a thing, after everything they knew, astounded Rin. 

"Yes. You think Orochimaru wanted me as a plaything and partly, that's true, but do you know the real reason, I was made for him?"

Yua waited, her face a veil of disbelief. 

Rin bit her lower lip, memories of her time with the frightening man, flittering around them. 

Yua looked up to see Rin sitting on the bed, Orochimaru sitting on the floor, his head resting in her lap.

Rin combed her fingers through his long hair, humming softly to herself. 

Yua took a step closer to the image, marveling at the tender smile on his face. "What's that expression?"

Rin looked at the picture and down again. "There were times he'd use me for the things you've imagined, but mostly, it was like this. Secret, vulnerable times, when he'd drop his guard and rest. You should know, Yua, he did love you... in his way."

Her face shot to Rin's and studied it for any trace of deceit. 

When she found none, she raised a hand up to touch the image. "Then why? Why wasn't I the one he made that face for? Why bother with you?"

Rin gave her an incredulous look. "Because you live in a world of fear and control. You were designed for battle. I was made for healing. It just so happened, he liked our face and our justu. That's it. That's the big mystery. That's the thing that's driven you to bring so much cruelty in my life."

Yua turned away from the image and regarded Rin, her face a mixture of emotions. "I won't apologize for my actions. I don't regret them."

"I know, you don't."

Both women stared each other down, their faces blank. 

Yua swallowed, her image fluttering. "I can't hold onto to this anymore."

"Then go."

"Do you have anything to say to me, Rin? Last chance."

She stepped closer, taking Yua's hand into hers, though it felt like air in her grasp. "Only this. I owe you nothing. After you pass, I won't think of you. I won't give you another second of my time."

Yua's eyes widened. 

Rin nodded. "It shouldn't have been that way. If you'd remained who I thought you were and I lost you, I would have grieved. I would have cried away your memory, but now, all I feel for you is contempt."

She pulled the woman close, so that her words were quiet and deadly. "You could've hurt me in any way and I still would have loved you. That's how a child feels for their mother. But you crossed the line, when you hurt the men I love. First Haru and then Gaara. You could've had everything and you chose to abandon who you were for jealousy and madness."

Rin's words were cold even to her own ears. "So, die Yua. Die the way you chose to live... alone."

Her mother faded from view, but not before she gave one last, cruel laugh. "Well, what do you know? You're more like me, than I thought... little Sparrow."

Rin's eyes opened and fixed on the wall again, twin trails of tears sliding down her cheeks.

Her heart thundered in her chest, the realization of their final words, crashing over her in cold waves. 

"Oh, you're awake. You didn't respond to my knock, so I wasn't sure. Ready for your treat?"

She looked to Temari, who was standing over her bedside. 

Rin cleared her throat, wiping away the tears. "What treat, is that?"

Temari brought in the wheelchair from the hallway and settled Rin into it. "The captive is to be tried and executed today. Gaara wanted you to be as far away from it as possible, but I think you deserve to speak your piece. I'm going to take you into her room, so you can give her a piece of your mind."

Rin almost laughed, but it stuck in her throat. 

The Captain dismissed one of the guards and wheeled Rin into the neighboring room. 

The sight made her jaw drop.

Haru's voice came to her memory. "She used Orochimaru's jutsu to bring me back but lacked his control. Cost her, her youth, if you can believe that?"

Laying in the bed, wasn't the woman Rin knew.

This wasn't the fair, dangerous beauty, who made men's eyes dance when she passed in the market or the savvy business-woman, who carved their lives out from nothing. 

This was an old, shriveled woman, with missing teeth and weathered hands, that were tied to her chest. 

A shell of the person she was.

Temari helped Rin to her feet. "Okay, now's your time. Tell her off. Go ahead."

The young shinobi stared at the broken woman, she'd loved so much. 

She wanted to hold onto the hatred she'd felt and stand true to the promise of forgetting her, but she couldn't. 

Even after all the torment and lies, Rin's heart broke at the condition Yua was in. 

Temari looked from the prisoner to Rin. "Well? Anything you want to do?"

"Just one."

With that, Rin loosened herself from Temari's hold and braced her hands on the bed. She brought her lips down to the wrinkled brow of the woman, she considered to be family, and gave one, quick kiss. 

"Goodbye... Mother."

Temari stared, her face a mask of surprise. "Okay, not what I was expecting. I'm surprised at you, Rin."

"I'm not."

The voice at the door made Rin freeze in her tracks.

The old, dying woman beneath her smiled. "You came for me, my Lord."


	51. Judgement

Rin froze where she stood, heart thundering in her chest. 

"What's he doing here? How did he get here? What's going on?" Her thoughts were a rapid fire in her mind. 

Temari sized the man up, her gaze narrow. "What are you doing here, Orochimaru?"

"I was invited."

"I know that, but you were invited to the main hall, not the hospital. What are you doing here?"

He brushed off her question with a dismissive hand. "I came to see my favorite creation, first. I'd heard she took quite the tumble."

Yua inhaled sharply, the same way she always did whenever her leader was pleased.

Rin didn't have the heart to tell say, he wasn't talking about her.

Orochimaru took a step closer to the bed, hand sliding on Rin's shoulder. "Nothing to say to your creator, Rin? How unlike you. Have the Sand's bad habits rubbed off already, my dear?"

Temari made a sudden movement to push him away, but Rin grabbed her arm, holding her in place. 

The look passed between them spoke volumes. 

Rin's eyes beseeched her mind. "Don't let him goad you. I know how to handle this."

With a sharp breath, she turned and finally addressed him, sliding one foot behind the other and bowing low, despite her body's protest "Forgive me, my Lord. I was so surprised to see you, I forgot myself. Welcome to the Village Hidden in the Sand."

He smiled. "That's more like it."

"Might I ask, to what do we owe the honor? You said you were invited here?"

Orochimaru nodded. "Indeed. I received word that some of my people caused a bit of trouble. Since the main perpetrator is part of my inner circle, permission was sought to give her trial on their terms and for me to sign off on whatever punishment they saw fit."

Rin bit the back of her tongue. "You needed to present for the trial, sir? Surely, you have far more important things to do. The Sound requires so much looking after. You could've sent an emissary."

He smiled, patting her cheek with his icy hand. "Perhaps, but since you were both here and I heard word that my own regeneration jutsu had been used without my permission, I thought it best I see the results myself. Scientific curiosity, you see?"

"Of course. Always the scientist. Even now." Rin thought to herself, trying her best to stand on her own. 

The last thing she needed him to see was her weakened state. 

"Lord... Orochimaru..." Yua gasped, her face straining to stay conscious. 

He glanced away from Rin, to the old woman lying in the hospital bed, as if seeing her for the first time. "Is that Yua?"

She smiled. "Yes, sir."

Orochimaru knelt down to get a better look at her. "I see. So, performing my jutsu, without knowing how to properly control it, resulted in a stripping of your vitality? Interesting. It should have killed you instantly, but I suppose your chakra control kept you holding on this long."

Her fingers reached out to touch his face. "You came for me. You came to see me out of here."

The leader of the Sound assessed her once more, allowing her broken fingers to find his skin. 

He sighed. "Pity. You had such a lovely face. Oh well."

All at once, he opened his mouth, producing a sword that shot from his throat and stabbed through Yua's skull, fixing her to the pillow. 

Blood splattered red against the white bed and Yua's hand spasmed on his face, before falling to the side. 

Orochimaru retracted the sword and swallowed it again, licking the traces of blood away from his lips. 

Temari spat out a swear, while Rin just closed her eyes, trying not to show the pain she felt at seeing her mother dispatched in such a way. 

Yua betrayed and destroyed her happiness, but even then, to see her taken out like that, with no feeling or gravitas to it, left a bitter taste in her mouth and bile in her throat.

He stood back up to full height and squeezed her shoulder. "Well, now that that's taken care of, I'll pay a visit to the Kazekage. He and I have much to discuss."

There were images that would stay with Rin forever; the sound of his footsteps echoing down the hall, the casual tune he whistled, the sight of her mother's blood painting the hospital bed, and, the worst part of all, the soft smile that still remained on her face. 

It caught up to her like a tidal wave and she fell against Temari, her stomach heaving what little dinner she had the night before.

"Whoa! Oh... okay." Temari's words faded away in the quiet room, as she held a vomiting Rin in her arms. 

The Captain settled her to the ground, holding her hair with one hand and rubbing her back with the other. "It's okay, Rin. It's going to be okay."

Those words sounded so empty and fake, but they were all that came to mind. The fleeting promise that the pain would pass and nothing more.

Rin's fingers worked their way into the tiled floor, trying to avoid the stream of blood that puddled beside her. "After all that she did for him."

"What?"

The kuniochi panted, her voice sounding ragged in her throat. "After everything she did."

Temari tilted her head. "Rin?"

She suddenly started laughing; broken and hysterical. "It was all for him! Everything! For years, she's lived beside me, resenting me for his infatuation. Waiting for the perfect moment to destroy me. Bringing Haru back from the dead! Destroying his mind and releasing him on this village! All for a love that ended like this!"

"Rin."

The laughter took her in waves, her hands coming to her stomach. "We mean so little to him! Just pawns in his game. Pets! She traded everything for him and that's how it ended. Just like that! We're all so expendable. Yua, Haru, me, all of us! Our lives mean nothing!"

Temari's arms came around her, anchoring her to this world. "That's not true."

"It is. It's all been meaningless from the start. She wasn't even worth a trial. He just ended her, like she was an inconvenience. My mother, who spent her life chasing after his approval. Gone. Just like that. We mean nothing."

"You mean something." 

Temari's grip on her tightened. "You mean something to us. Kankuro, myself and especially, to Gaara. You mean everything to him."

Rin's mind flashed with images of Gaara; his cool gaze, the way his arms took her so easily, the feeling of safety she felt in them. 

"You're my angel." His voice echoed in her mind as he seized her kisses with his own.

After a few calming breaths, Rin wiped off her mouth and turned to face Temari, the person who became her most unexpected friend in this place. "Yes, you're right."

"I am."

She stood up, pulling Rin with her and placing an arm around her shoulders. "Come on, let's get you back to your room. Gaara is going to kill me when he finds out you saw all of this."

"Then don't tell him."

Temari settled Rin back in her bed. "What?"

Rin sighed, turning away from the world. "Gaara has enough to worry about. Best not to burden him with this. As far as he knows, I was asleep this entire time."

"Orochimaru is going to say he saw you."

Her jaw tightened. "Orochimaru is a liar. Gaara knows that."

Temari looked to the door and back to the Rin. "I should be there when they meet up."

"Yes."

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

She opened her mouth to say something else, but decided against it and started to walk away. 

Rin's voice caught her, right as she made it to the door. "Thank you, Temari. For earlier. I enjoyed my treat."

The Captain felt her stomach twist at the numbness in the girl's voice, but left anyway. 

Gaara was definitely going to crush her when he found out. No questions asked.

~~

Kankuro stood beside his brother's desk, watching him scribble away at the daily reports.

The sunlight drifted into the room, warm and happy in its wake. 

Curious how the world could go on so easily when their village had been attacked only a few nights before. 

The villagers left their shelter and returned to their daily lives, if not a bit more heightened than usual. 

It didn't matter what evil came their way; the people of the Sand were a sturdy bunch. 

"He should have arrived by now." Gaara's voice broke the silence. 

"Probably."

He settled back in his chair. "Orochimaru hasn't been here since that time."

"Yes."

The silence between them said what they both were feeling. The man who killed their father, who set a war between the Sand and the Leaf, was going to be waltzing through those doors in no time and everyone was just allowing it. 

"Why he was pardoned after all that, is beyond me." Kankuro grunted, lacing his hands behind his head. 

Gaara sighed. "He's more useful alive than he is dead. It makes sense from a strategical stand point."

"Some strategy. Keep a snake on a leash and hope it doesn't strike you. I don't like it."

There was a knock at the door. 

"I don't either, but it's how the world works. The wheel keeps turning, we just have to make sure not to get crushed beneath it." Gaara said, as he stood up from his desk. 

Kankuro braced himself. "I don't think anyone can crush you, bro."

Despite himself, Gaara smiled. "Let's hope not."

He cleared his throat. "Enter."

Orochimaru looked exactly as he had the last time they saw him, not a single mark of age or time on his face. 

Gaara knew how he achieved this, but wished he didn't. 

How many lives were spent to give him that youth? Could Rin have been one of them?

He shook off the thought and composed himself. "Welcome to the Village Hidden in the Sand, Lord Orochimaru."

"Thank you. What a pleasure it is to be back."

"Your journey was easy?"

"Quite."

Kankuro's hand rested against the dagger at his side, his eyes never leaving the snake-like man. "We were surprised when word reached us that you came yourself, sir."

"I'm sure you were. It seems everyone expects me to stay inside my own walls, like I'm a grounded child instead of one of the legendary Sanin." 

He glanced easily around the room, giving a gentile smile to Gaara. "My, you've certainly grown into a fine young man, Lord Kazekage. I hardly recognize you."

Gaara nodded to him. "It's been a few years. I'm sure you're tired from your trip. Shall we cut the niceties and discuss what's to be done about the terrorist from your village?"

Orochimaru chuckled to himself. "Spoken like a true Kazekage. Your father was the down-to-business-type as well. How nice to see the resemblance between you."

Kankuro scoffed, the hand on his dagger tightening. 

Gaara's sand gently came up to his grasp and wrapped around it, warning him to calm down. "You received all pertinent information in our letter. I don't need to explain the situation further?"

"No, I know everything."

"The captive's health is deteriorating. I think it's best we set her trial for no later than tomorrow. You will, of course, be welcomed to attend and add your council to our decision."

"How have things gone with my Rin, Lord Kazekage?"

Gaara face maintained its stoic expression. "Pardon?"

Orochimaru crossed his arms, the knowing smile never leaving him. "Has she been behaving herself in your presence?"

"Ms. Ito has represented your village extremely well."

He chuckled. "Oh, I have no doubt of that. I'm sure she's made quite the impression on you."

Something about the way he spoke of Rin, made Kankuro's skin crawl. Whatever he was implying, didn't seem proper. 

His eyes turned to Gaara, who hadn't moved a muscle. 

How was he staying so calm through this?

"We'll set the trial for tomorrow afternoon. Please, retire to the guest quarters and we will provide you with dinner tonight, Lord Orochimaru."

The leader of the Sound gave an open laugh. "My, my, so direct! You've fallen deep, haven't you?"

Suddenly he was in front of Gaara and Kankuro moved to protect his brother, but found himself fixed in place by the sand. "Gaara!"

Orochimaru's eyes turned from the puppet master to the young Kazekage and found him standing stable under his scrutiny. "How adorable."

"What is?"

"You've fallen for my pet, head over heels. I can't say I'm surprised. She has that effect on men like us."

"I'm nothing like you." Gaara replied, his voice devoid of emotion.

"I disagree. We're much more alike than you realize."

His voice dipped so low that only the two of them could hear. "We both know what she's capable of, don't we? How easy it is to lose yourself."

Yua's words came to his memory. "She was sent to gain your trust, Lord Kazekage. Once she had that, it would be all too easy to manipulate you to the Sound's wishes. That's all you ever were to her; nothing more than an arranged meeting that would blossom into a fortuitous match for us."

Gaara swallowed the suspicion and kept his voice calm. "Since you seemed fixated on discussing Ms. Ito, I do have a question for you."

Orochimaru's eyebrow raised. "And what is that?"

"Information reached me that two of your shinobi were able to perform the Sleepwalker jutsu."

"Correct."

"And, the older of the two, Yua, was more advanced in the technique than Ms. Ito."

"Also correct."

Gaara steadied himself for whatever answer may come. "So, if that were the case, why send the weaker of the two to my village? Surely, a Kazekage should warrant your best?"

Orochimaru's smile was wicked and pleased. "You've spoken with Yua, I see."

Gaara didn't say anything. 

The leader of the Sound chuckled. "My, my, what a blabbermouth. She spilled all our little secrets."

His heart sank.

Then what she said was true. Rin was sent to purposefully get Gaara to trust her. She was custom-made for his affection. Why wouldn't that be the case? Why would anyone actually love him for who he was? It all made sense now.

Orochimaru made a sympathetic noise. "Oh, don't make that face, Lord Gaara. It doesn't suit a Kazekage."

Gaara hardened his expression. "I see. Thank you for your response. I apologize, but I have a great amount of work to do tonight, so I won't be able to give you my full attention until tomorrow at the trial. The guards will show you to your quarters."

Orochimaru turned away. "No need for all that nonsense. I'll leave tomorrow morning."

"Excuse me?"

He gave a dismissive wave. "Oh, I already dispatched the prisoner. No reason to trouble you any further with my mistake. A lengthy trial would only take up more of your valuable time. The body is laying in her bed. You can do what you like with her remains."

"You killed her?"

Orochimaru smiled. "No need to thank me, it's the least I could do for all the headache she caused. I'll send some of our village rations as an apology."

Gaara remained silent, processing how easily he spoke of murdering his own people. 

The leader of the Sound made it to the door, when he turned and bowed. "Good day to you, Lord Kazekage. I'll leave tomorrow at first light."

"Fine."

He smiled. "And I'll be taking Rin with me."


	52. Lesson Number One

Gaara didn't move.

Kankuro looked from his brother, to the man who just announced he'd be taking his woman away.

"Rin won't be going anywhere."

Orochimaru stopped in his tracks. "Is that so?"

The puppet master sneered, crossing his arms. "It is. You're not taking her from this village."

"Is that really your decision? Seems to be like this is an issue settled between Kage, not lower shinobi."

Kankuro glared and looked to Gaara, who remained uncommonly still. "Gaara, tell him!"

"Kankuro." The tone set a chill through the room, sucking the air out.

Gaara's pale gaze set on his brother, his voice low and dangerous. "You've spoken out of turn. Don't hold up our guest any further."

He stammered, his voice catching. "Of... of course. My apologies, Orochimaru."

"Lord Orochimaru." The Sound leader said, with spiteful grin.

Kankuro bit the inside of his cheek. "Yes. My deepest apologies, Lord Orochimaru, for my offense."

"None taken. I'll see myself out. Good day to you both."

When the door closed, the breath Gaara was holding, came out in a slow exhale.

Kankuro turned on his heel, hands outstretched to his brother. "What in the world are you thinking?!"

"About?"

"You're going to let that monster come in and take your woman from you?"

Gaara closed his eyes and returned to his desk chair. "She isn't my woman."

Kankuro came to the front of the desk. "What? What do you mean? She belongs to you, doesn't she?"

"She doesn't belong to anyone. Rin belongs to herself."

"You know what I mean."

"Kankuro..."

"You can't let him do this. You can't just sit back and let him take her away from you."

"Please..."

Kankuro slammed his fist on the desk. "No! I'm not going to stand by and let you sabotage yourself! You love Rin! I know you do!"

"She doesn't love me."

"That's bullshit!"

Suddenly, Kankuro's hand came shooting across the desk and took hold of Gaara's collar, pulling him up from his chair.

The sand came rushing to protect him, curling up Kankuro's arms, encircling him in its hardening shield.

Gaara's eyes widened at his brother's boldness, but turned away. "Put me down, Kankuro."

"Not until you listen to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There is! You think Rin doesn't love you? Why? What makes you say that?"

Now it was Gaara's turn to get angry. The sand tightened on his brother's arm, forcing him to release his grip.

Kankuro stepped back a few feet, a trail of blood dripping from the torn skin of his stitches.

Gaara stood his ground. "Think about it, Kankuro. No, really, think! The council was right from the start. It was suspicious that she was the one sent. She may not be an assassin, but she was specifically sent to me for a reason."

"Because her mother was a psycho. Even Orochimaru knew that!"

"No, because she'd make me lower my walls and that's what he was counting on. I was comfortable around her, so much more than anyone I've known. It was so easy to fall in love with her, because she's been made for just that purpose. I don't even know if my feelings are real or just what she made me believe."

"Gaara, you haven't seen the way she looks at you. You didn't see what I did at the Oasis."

"What did you see?"

Kankuro held his bleeding arm. "The first night you slept through, when such a thing has never been possible, was because you spent it with her. I saw you there, before you woke up. You were curled around her, resting peacefully and do you know what she was doing?"

Gaara didn't say anything, his stance unwavering.

Kankuro bridged the gap between them, coming around the side of the desk. "She was holding you to herself, loving you. If she were just here to play some kind of game with you, she would have left you there and went about her night. She didn't."

His hands were out open and vulnerable. "Even with everything that's happened here, in this village, with people who don't trust her. When suspicion and fear were high, Rin could have betrayed your trust and spilled your secrets to the villagers, but she didn't."

Gaara's body shook, despite trying to maintain his previous calm.

Kankuro's voice softened. "She loves you Gaara. I know she does. Please, don't give up on her. Fight for her. Let her know you want her to stay. Don't let that woman walk out of your life before you even tell her how you feel."

He didn't say anything.

Instead, Gaara took two steps closer to his brother, sizing him up. They stared each other down, Kankuro steady, Gaara questioning, until he took hold of the bleeding arm. "Get yourself cleaned up."

"What are you going to do?"

The Kazekage walked towards the door. "Rin should know her mother died. I'll tell her."

Kankuro watched him walk out the door, his voice low. "Yeah right. As if she doesn't already know."

~~

Gaara walked the streets of his village.

All around, people were rebuilding their lives. The sounds of hammering echoed off the walls, as homes destroyed by the bombs were cleared out and re-built.

He'd assisted with the heavy lifting in the beginning, until Temari shooed him off to deal with other matters.

It was for the best though, everyone wanted answers from him.

Answers about the captives. Answers about future measures. Answers about the girl he'd been seen with.

He couldn't give anything more to them.

No one made an effort to approach him and that was fine. He wasn't in a talkative mood anyway.

The past few weeks brought chaos in their wake and that all started from one woman, who came into his world and turned it on his head.

His gaze went to the jewelry stand, where he'd seen her listening to the legends of his village and holding a small boy on her lap.

He'd thought back then, how easy it was for her to find her place in the village and, more embarrassingly, what a good mother she would be.

Gaara believed in his heart, that given enough time, his people would come to love her, the way he loved her.

They just needed to give her a chance.

His steps brought him to the prison, where the darkness of her past sprung up and the love of her life was held and tortured.

He thought about the fire in her eyes when she burst into his office and demanded compassionate treatment for Haru.

Would she have that amount of passion for him?

"Lord Gaara!"

A voice drew his attention away from the door and settled on his sister, who was waving as she approached.

"Temari."

"What are you doing here? Orochimaru is in the village and I thought he was on his way to see you?"

"He did."

She lowered her arm. "How did that go?"

"He killed the prisoner. I'm on my way to tell Rin."

Temari felt the gnawing swell of guilt in her stomach.

Rin told her not to say anything, but she couldn't keep it from Gaara. Her loyalty to him was more important than whatever punishment would befall her.

"I know."

"You do? How?"

Temari sighed, bringing her head down. "I was impulsive this morning. Rin shared some information with me last night and I felt it was her right to say some parting words to her mother before the execution. I brought her to the room and Orochimaru came and... well... you know the rest."

Gaara didn't say anything.

Temari bowed forward, hands at her sides. "I know I went against your orders and I'll accept any punishment you see fit. I acted rashly."

"She has that effect, doesn't she?"

"Sir?"

Gaara stared at the door of the prison, his voice absent. "To make others act rash. She has that way about her. You want to give her the world and it blows up in your face."

Temari raised her head, scanning her younger brother. "What's happened?"

"How do you know something's happened?"

"Because I'm always watching you, Gaara. I know your moods by now. What did Orochimaru say to you?"

Gaara turned away and looked at his sister. "He told me he'd killed Yua and that he'd be leaving in the morning."

"Oh, well, that's not so bad. At least we don't have to go through a week-long trial of his presence."

"And he's taking Rin with him."

Temari froze in her tracks, her eyes assessing the Kazekage. "Say what now?"

"Orochimaru is leaving in the morning and he's taking Rin with him."

"And you're okay with that?"

Gaara said nothing.

She stood in front of him. "Gaara."

"What?"

Her gaze narrowed. "What's wrong with you?"

"Many things, apparently."

"Don't be flip with me!"

The villagers stopped what they were doing, drawn to the arguing voices.

Gaara raised a hand to silence his sister. "Kankuro already scolded me, Temari. I don't need it from you too."

"But..."

"Enough. Please."

"Gaara."

She watched, helpless, as he passed her and made his way to the hospital.

Rin wouldn't go with that psycho and Gaara couldn't be okay with it, even if she did.

Something was off here.

A cold wind went up her spine, wrapping around her body and she held herself tight, thinking of the voice Rin used to thank her for her treat.

"She's different when Orochimaru is near. Maybe too different to fight him off? Will she really leave us, just like that?" Temari thought to herself, looking at the sun, which drifted in the middle of the sky.

~~

The scent of the hospital assaulted his senses, as the Kazekage made his way to the third door on the left.

His feet brought him past the room beside it, where evidence of Yua's death had been removed. Not a shadow of her presence remained; replaced instead with the smell of bleach and the sight of new, fresh sheets.

How quickly people could be erased.

Gaara's hand came to knock on the door frame, but stilled, when he saw Rin, curled up on her side, her chest rising and falling steadily.

The thought to come back later occurred to him, but without realizing he was moving, his feet brought him to her bedside.

The machines that reported her life-force were removed. She'd be able to leave soon, if not later today.

"A journey tomorrow wouldn't harm her. There goes one of my excuses." He thought to himself.

Gaara settled in the chair by her bed.

His eyes drifted along her body, dancing on the dip of her waist and the curve of her hip. "Rin?"

She didn't move.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but I have something to say to you."

He sighed, lowering his head. "I'm sorry about your mother's death. I know she did terrible things, but I also know that it doesn't matter the pain they do to us. Children love their parents, even when we shouldn't."

Gaara looked down at his feet, the words he wanted to say, tumbling out of his mouth without his permission. "I heard you saw Orochimaru. I know he spoke with you. He spoke to me too, told me what he did. He said he's leaving tomorrow morning and..."

He raised his head. "That he's taking you with him."

There was silence.

Gaara felt something within him, some emotion he couldn't identify, or several, for that matter. "I know you're going with him. You told me from the beginning, you have a life in the Sound, a business and a family. I also know you face prejudice and fear in my village."

He gripped his hands, fighting to calm himself, but quickly losing the battle. "And I know you don't really love me, either. Yua told me what the plan was with Orochimaru. I know you were sent because you'd be more appealing to me than your mother. You'd find your way into my heart and further an alliance between our villages."

Gaara took a breath, his troublesome emotions coming to the surface. "But I also know this. I love you, Rin. Even if you don't really love me back. Even if it were all a political scam to gain my trust, I've fallen in love with you. I don't have any right to ask you to stay here, but if you would, I'll promise to make it better for you. Make myself better."

Suddenly, a pair of arms reached out, took hold of the Kazekage and pulled him down into the bed with her.

Rin threw the sheet up over their heads, trapping him in their own private world.

Gaara stared surprised at her quick movement, but softened at the tears running down her face.

"You're dumb."

"I'm what?"

"You're dumb, Lord Kazekage."

"Why do you say that?"

There were many things Gaara had been called in his life; monster, demon, murderer, but he was always an intelligent murderer, at least.

Rin rested her head in the crook of his neck, the intimate sensation sending chills down his spine.

"You're dumb if you think that what I feel for you isn't real and that I, for one second, would want to go back to Orochimaru's fake love, when I have something as wonderful as yours."

Gaara's eyes widened. "Then, you're saying you..."

Rin gave a small, tearful laugh. "I don't know what love is either. Despite being designed to be a comforting presence and heal those around me, I don't know what real love is. I felt something for Haru, but we were children and he was damaged because of it. I loved my mother, but she turned and used that against me."

He opened his mouth to say something, but she placed a finger there, shushing him. "I don't know what I feel, but I know that it's real and that I want to stay with you, Gaara. I want to stay with you more than I've wanted anything and I feel selfish for it. I don't deserve the great love you have for me and that's why I haven't said it in the past. I don't know how to love authentically on my own."

Gaara's hands came to her face, cradling it, so she'd look in his eyes. "Well, we're a perfect match then, aren't we? I'll teach you how to love, if you'll teach me?"

Rin smiled and tilted her chin up to meet his lips. "Lesson number one... kiss me."


	53. Break Out

There were several places Gaara fantasized kissing Rin. 

Romantic, awe-inspiring sites he wanted to show her, where he'd imagined a setting sun, a warm breeze, him saying something smooth and practiced, but life didn't work that way. 

Instead, he found himself in a hospital bed, protected from the world by a white sheet, the scent of bleach and antiseptic hanging in the air. 

And he'd never been happier. 

Rin's kiss was warm sunlight, chasing away the feelings of doubt he'd built up in his mind. The thought of her staying by his side, choosing him over the life she had back in the Sound, made him feel stronger than ever before. 

No one was taking this feeling from him; he'd fight the entire world if it meant seeing her smile.

It became his new purpose.

They pulled away from each other, Rin trailing kisses along his jawline, sending divine tingles down his spine. "Gaara?"

"Hm?"

"Since I've agreed to stay here, I need a favor from you."

He stroked a finger down her soft cheek. "Anything."

Rin's face shifted from pleading, to the mischievous grin he both loved and feared. "Break me out of here."

"Excuse me?"

She peeked out from under the sheet, waiting for the passing nurses that always seemed to come at the most inopportune times. "They've been keeping me here against my will for days."

"On my order."

Her eyes cut him. "Traitor."

He laughed and kissed her forehead. "Protector."

Rin scoffed. "As if I need protection against my own health."

Gaara felt the desire to bring up the beating her body took and the danger she seemed to always find herself in, but it didn't feel like the right move. "It made everyone feel safer."

She pulled the sheet down and curled her arm around his shoulders. "Okay, now is our chance. Carry me out of here."

"I don't think that's wise."

"And why not? You were completely fine with the idea of Orochimaru taking me tomorrow. I'd have to get up then."

"Yes, but..."

Rin rose a hand to silence him. "No objections! Take me out of this place, before I lose my mind. I've been confined within these walls for days and I won't be held responsible for any property damage, if I'm forced to stay."

Gaara stared dumbfounded at her. "Property damage? What property do you have to damage?"

She met his gaze and reached over for a tray that housed her food and water supplies.

His eyes widened. "Rin?" 

In one smooth motion, she brushed off the empty cup, which clamored against the tiled floor.

Gaara winced at the noise and looked to the hall, where he was certain a team of doctors would be in to berate them. "Rin!"

She took hold of a spoon and held it up. "Take me out of here or the cutlery is next."

Despite himself, the Kazekage laughed at the feisty look on her face. There wasn't much he could do when she looked at him like that. 

He let out a dramatic sigh, as he stood from the bed and swooped his arms under her legs, holding her tight. "Troublemaker."

She rested her head against his chest, soft smile blossoming on her face. "Amongst other things."

Gaara hitched her up to his chest and walked out of the hospital, as if it were any other day.

He knew the doctors would be cross with him, but he had a feeling the nurses had their share of his love's impatience. 

This theory was further proved, when the woman manning the front desk conveniently turned to water the lone plant in the facility, ignoring the leader of her village kidnapping a patient from under their noses. 

When they made it through the doors and into the waiting streets, Rin felt the familiar anxiety of the prying eyes taking her. 

She wasn't certain of everything that happened since she was admitted, but she did know that if they weren't suspicious of the Sound before, they certainly were now. 

Gaara's strong arms tightened, giving her an immovable cage of security. "It's alright, Rin."

"Don't you feel like you should put me down, now? People are going to talk."

He took account of the curious faces watching from their booths and homes, all trying not to show how blatant they were with their staring. "They've been talking about me for years. I'm used to it."

"But I..."

His lips came to the top of her forehead, silencing her. 

Rin's eyes went wide, noticing the sudden whispering of the villagers at the foreign display of affection from their Kazekage and for a member of the Sound as well. 

Gaara smiled. "There. Lots to talk about now."

He moved on, not bothering to hide his triumphant smirk at the red which overtook Rin's face. He wouldn't lie, if he didn't consider it payback for when she put him in the same position. 

By the time they made it back to the Kazekage's manor, Rin felt as if she may die of embarrassment.

It was one thing to share this new found romance with him behind closed doors, but to show it off for the entire village, who didn't trust her to begin with, was something new. 

Her eyes flashed up to his face and the smirk that hadn't left. 

The mid-day sun shone hot on both of them, but it seemed to ignite Gaara in a way she'd never seen before.

Whereas the light drained her of her energy and made her seem haggard, it made him look radiant. 

He belonged to the desert.

Gaara looked down at her stunned expression. "Something wrong?"

She closed her eyes and rested against his shoulder. "Nothing."

They took the stairs carefully, Gaara's attention to each and every one making her smile. He treated her like she was precious, a feeling Rin wasn't familiar with. 

It occurred to her just how out-of-place she'd been when she first followed Temari up these steps. How anxious and wrecked she must have looked and how, in hardly any time at all, now it felt like she was coming home. 

"Well, well, I didn't think Rin was cleared from the hospital quite yet. How interesting to find her here." 

Kankuro stood in the great hall, arms crossed, one bandaged all the way up past his elbow. 

Rin reached out and touched his wound. "What happened?"

Both brothers stared at each other for a second, before Kankuro gave a convincing smile with a shrug. "Oh, you know me, always putting my foot in my mouth. It was only a matter of time before someone knocked me around for it."

Gaara looked away, ashamed. 

Rin noticed the shift in his energy.

Her eyes went from his face to the Captain's, trying to offer a lighthearted dismissal. "I understand. I hope it feels better soon."

Kankuro brushed her off. "No worries. It looks worse than it is. I'll be fine. I'm glad to see you out of the hospital though. Wasn't sure how much longer we'd have you here."

She felt Gaara's muscles stiffen. 

The unspoken discomfort between them was palpable and though she didn't know why, Rin could feel she was at the center of it. 

The hand that was wrapped around his shoulders, lifted so her fingers were lightly stroking the back of his neck, soothing the tension from it. 

"I'm not sure of the details yet, but I'm hoping you'll be seeing me around for a while yet."

Kankuro's eyes widened. "Is that so?"

Rin smiled. "If that's okay with you?"

He laced his hands behind neck and grinned. "Yeah, I think that's fine. I'm not the one you'll have to contend with though. Let me know when you tell Temari, so I can have a front row seat."

Gaara brushed forward, not wanting to imagine how his sister would respond to him making great romantic gestures without consulting her first.

Not that she had a say in his love life, but he wasn't naïve to how the council, the village and the rest of the nations would respond to his interest in a woman from the Sound at his side. 

These were bridges he'd cross one at time. 

Before they left, Gaara stopped and addressed Kankuro, his voice soft. "I hope your arm feels better, as well."

He smiled. "My big mouth gets me into trouble. I deserved it."

Gaara shook his head. "No, you were right and I'm grateful... brother."

Kankuro dipped his chin and waved them off, as Gaara climbed the many stairs to his private quarters. 

Rin studied his face. "What was that about?"

"A little spat between brothers."

"Do you often fight?"

Gaara smiled to himself. "No, actually, we never really have."

"You seem happy about it."

"Yes... a part of me is."

They passed by her room and Rin wanted to comment about how she was supposed to be resting for the next few days, but with Gaara's door coming in sight, she decided against it. 

He fumbled with the handle, but managed to swing it open and set her on the bed. "There. Can I get you anything? Some water? Are you hungry?"

Rin shook her head and held out her hand. "No. I just need you to come here."

Gaara closed the door and approached, suddenly feeling out of place in his own room. "I have some other matters to focus on today."

"Mm hm."

He sat on the bed, watching as she so easily laid back, gently pulling him with her.

"I don't have a lot of time for... anything.... big."

Rin wanted to laugh, but held back. "What are you imagining is happening, Lord Kazekage?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I never know what to expect from you."

She smiled and scooted closer so that she was resting in his arms. "Don't worry, Gaara. If that's going to happen, it won't be when I stink of hospital smell and haven't had a proper bath in a few days."

He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. 

A part of him called out to be embraced by Rin.

He was a hot-blooded man and she was the woman he loved, of course the thought crossed his mind, but he didn't know if he was ready for that leap yet. 

He'd only just experienced kissing her for the first time a few weeks ago.

Rin's tender hand came to his face, turning him to look at her. "We need to discuss something."

"There are many things, I feel."

She nodded and laid her head in the crook of his neck. "Yes, but the biggest one first."

Gaara pulled her closer. "Which is?"

"What we're going to tell Orochimaru."

He stiffened at the name, the image of the snake-like man filling his vision. 

His arms tightened around Rin. "I'd think it be fairly simple. I inform him that you've decided to stay here. He can't force you to go back."

Rin hid her face in Gaara's chest, her words muffled. "You have no idea the things he can force me to do."


	54. My Lord

"Your goal to attack the Hidden Leaf is going according to plan, Lord Orochimaru."

"Good. The final pieces are coming together as I intended. Won't be long now."

The medical ninja flicked up his glasses, looking over their pain-staking developed charts.

For them to take on a massive point as the Leaf, was going to take precise execution. Not a single pawn could be out of place.

"Kabuto, you've held up your side of things in this, I trust?"

"Yes, sir. I've already worked my way into being a part of the Chunin exams. Your recent body is nearly prepared as well."

Orochimaru smiled. "Ah yes, Subject 15, is it? I've been so looking forward to using his jutsu."

Kabuto hesitated. "Oh... no. Unfortunately, Subject 15 won't be the chosen vessel for this rotation."

"Excuse me?"

He flinched under the tone of his words, bowing low. "My deepest apologies, Lord Orochimaru. Experimentation has been under way on his regenerative capabilities, but I'm not finished with his training. He wouldn't be worthy enough for your use."

There was a heavy silence.

Kabuto kept looking at the ground, the anger he felt from his master, dripping off like a toxic sludge and pooling around him.

Suddenly, a cool hand found his chin, tilting it up.

Amber eyes held him in their wake; the unnatural, vertical slits assessing him. "I specifically wanted him for this mission, Kabuto. Didn't you just say that all things were going according to my plan? It doesn't sound like that's the truth. Are you lying to me?"

"N...no, my Lord. Another vessel has been selected and is eagerly awaiting your presence. I assure you, by the time I finish with Subject 15, he will be the perfect choice. You have my word."

Orochimaru scanned his face, that intense gaze piercing him with each passing moment.

After an agonizing wait, he finally released Kabuto from his grasp, turning away to stare out the large window of his hideout. "Out of my sight. You're dismissed."

"Yes sir. Thank you, sir."

He was about to reach the door, before Orochimaru cleared his throat. "Wait a moment."

Kabuto froze in his steps. "My Lord?"

"Bring me the girl. 18. Inform her trainers that I'll be using her services for the rest of the night."

"Yes, right away, my Lord."

When the door closed, Orochimaru let out a disgusted tsk.

This plan needed to be perfect.

He couldn't return to his old village a disgrace. If he were to conquer its power, he had to be at the top of his game.

Failure wouldn't be a possibility.

But why then, was there a sinking feeling in his chest? The smallest thing that tore away at his resolve?

He'd planned every step, every possible solution and yet...

A quiet knock at the door tore his attention away from the window and he settled on the cot he kept in his office.

It had been years since he slept anywhere else, if at all.

"Enter."

"You summoned me, my Lord?"

"I did. Come in, 18."

The young woman slid the door open and closed it again behind her.

She kneeled on the ground, her fingers coming to an elegant point, as she bowed her head. "How can I serve you this evening, my Lord?"

Orochimaru snapped, signaling for her to approach him.

18 stood, keeping her head lowered and waited at the side of his cot.

His cold fingers gently wrapped around her wrist. "The usual... please."

This request was becoming more and more common these past few weeks.

18 lost track of how many times he summoned her, sometimes keeping her there for days at a time.

That suited her just fine.

The more she was working, the less she thought about losing 15... Haru.

The sting of his missing presence encircled her waking moments and tormented her through the night.

Though a large part of her feared Orochimaru, in some odd way, he gave her solace during this time and she was responsible for doing the same for him.

18...Rin... she chose to think of herself as the name Haru gave her, even if it were secret, complied with her lord's secret requests perfectly.

As if she'd done it a thousand times, Rin let him pull her until she was sitting on the cot.

He lowered himself to the floor and rested his head in her lap.

She reached for the comb tucked under his pillow, kept away from prying eyes, and gently brushed his long, jet black hair. "What's on your mind tonight, my Lord?"

He sighed. "Something is gnawing away at me. Deep inside, something feels off and I don't know what it is."

Rin paid special attention to a small tangle that was forming at the base of his neck, gently undoing it with her fingers. "Are you worried about the upcoming attack on the Leaf?"

She knew everything about it.

In all their sessions together, he went over the plan again and again, obsessing over every detail.

By the end of the night, Rin memorized it almost as well as he had and she'd never even been to the foreign village.

"No. I'm not worried. Even though part of my plan fell through today, it won't matter in the end. I'll be victorious."

"Of course, you will, my Lord. No one can stand against you."

He closed his eyes at her sweet words, enjoying the sensation of the skillful comb in her hands.

It was an accident making 18, but the happiest one of his career.

Her original host showed extreme promise in her chakra control, her ability to enter the mind of an opponent valuable to his needs.

However, the mind was such a tremulous place, so much of it unexplored. His scientific curiosity, begged to know what would happen with two different approaches.

Which would gain information the quickest? Pain or pleasure?

It never occurred to him that he would be the one using her talents for himself or that he would become as dependent on her presence, as he had.

Something about such small comforts, in his world of treachery and paranoia, was an unexpected reprieve.

"My Lord... may I ask a question?"

His eyes remained closed. "Proceed."

She hesitated. "My training has intensified in recent months. There's talk of a great war coming between shinobi. After your victory against the Leaf, the other nations will rise to battle you."

"You're worried for my safety?"

"Of course not."

His eyes cracked open at that, surprised at how the answer irked him. "Why wouldn't you worry for your master?"

Rin smiled, combing out the final strands of his hair. "Because I know you'll always win. There isn't a single shinobi alive who can stand against you."

Orochimaru smiled. Clever girl.

"Then what are you worried about, dear one?"

She set the comb down, her voice soft. "Will I be expected to fight like the others? Is that why they're pushing me so hard? I've been casting nonstop for weeks."

"Does the idea of doing harm to another trouble you?"

Rin's hands rested in her lap, the image of Haru's blood splattering from his chest, taking her memory in a sickly wave. "It does. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

Orochimaru turned so that he was facing her.

His hand came up to take her chin, turning her to look at him. "Then you shan't. Your original model will suffice for that purpose. I have something else in mind for you."

"My Lord?"

He smiled. "You will stay close to me. I'll use your jutsu for clarity of mind and in exchange, you won't have to worry about fighting anymore. Does that sound fair?"

She gave him a small nod.

"Good, I hope that eases your worries, little Sparrow."

"It does, my Lord. Thank you."

He laid his head back in her lap. "Then let's continue with your purpose. Discover why I'm experiencing this unpleasant sensation inside."

"Yes, my Lord."

Her fingers came to frame his face, trailing down the markings that reminded her of tears.

She traced all along his high cheekbones and settled her hand on the top of his head. "Somnam Jutsu."

Orochimaru's mind opened to her, an impressive feat, considering how closed off he was to everyone else.

The first few times he ordered her justu on himself, it felt terrifying.

The locked armory of his mind would slam down on her at every turn, shooting her out of her induction and draining her chakra.

Now, it felt as easy as walking through a waterfall; slight hesitation at first and then freedom.

Her steps brought her to the massive labyrinth that was his subconscious.

Large, twisting walls, constructed from years of training and mental focus, rose up around her, but Rin continued on.

By now, she knew the shortcuts, memorized the layout.

Her fingers tapped along the stone maze, as she made her way forward, waiting for the guide that had a nasty habit of sneaking up on her.

"Rin. Sssso nicccce to sssssee you again."

The hissing voice sent shivers down her spine, as she turned to face the large snake, that slithered through the walls, its scales scratching with its movement.

"Hello, Manda."

It wasn't the actual Manda, of course, but the extreme connection and respect Orochimaru felt for the snake demon, always manifested as the guide into his mind.

Rin hated reptiles.

"Why are you here again? It hasn't been, but two nightsss sssince your lasssst visit." He hissed, curling his tail around her.

"I'm here to find out what's troubling my lord and master."

"Ah yesss, the weak boy isss feeling apprehenssssive, isssn't he?" Manda chuckled to himself.

Rin allowed herself to be lifted onto his scaly back and held on tight, as he slithered through the walls of memory, images popping up left and right.

She tried to ignore the pictures of her fellow experiments falling at his hand; stupid, pleased grins on their faces.

No matter what they promised, whatever pride they tried to instill in her, she wouldn't smile when he took her body.

In fact, she'd been actively working to be irreplaceable to him ever since Haru was killed. She was meant for bigger things than his meat-sack.

A sudden image caught her attention and she patted her guide's back. "Manda, wait."

He slowed. "What isss it?"

"Who is that?"

The guide turned his massive head to take in the moving image displayed on the wall.

An older man, with kind looking eyes, was facing a younger Orochimaru.

"Sssarutobi Ssssensei."

"Sensei?" Rin asked, as she slid off her guide's back and stepped closer to the wall.

"Yesss. Took our boy under his wing that day."

Her eyes trailed along the image of a graveyard and rested on a large tombstone. "Is that the grave of his parents?"

"Yesss."

Rin placed a hand on the man's face, watching how it filled with compassion for the child before him. "He looks kind."

Manda didn't reply.

Her attention turned to the child she'd never seen before.

Orochimaru always kept this side of his mind hidden from her in the past.

He looked so sad.

"You found a white snake's skin. What luck." The man's voice drew her eyes to his face.

"I've never seen anything like it, Lord Hokage."

"That's a good sign. White snakes are the symbol of good luck and renewal. It was your good karma that led you to find it. Who knows, maybe this means your parents have been reincarnated and you'll meet them again?"

Her jaw fell slightly at the shy smile on his face. Whoever this man was, he meant something to that child.

The image went dark and another popped up to the right.

He was older there, more of his current form, than the child she'd seen before. He traveled with two companions; a lovely woman and a man with white hair.

Rin felt the warmth of the campfire they stared at, each discussing their dreams for the future.

What dreams did he have before she knew him? Who were these people and why was he only seeing them now?

"Manda, are these all shinobi from the Leaf Village?"

"Yesss."

"That man, the Hokage, is he still in office?"

"He would be an old fool now, but yesss."

Rin's hand came to rest on the labyrinth wall and she sighed. "I see. I'm ready to return now."

She turned, just in time for the giant snake to lunge at her and snap her out of her jutsu.

Orochimaru twitched under her hands, his hooded eyes rising to meet her. "Well?"

Calming her racing heart from the unnecessary snake strike, Rin brushed his hair back with her hand. "Permission to speak freely, my Lord?"

"Granted."

"Your mind showed me images of people in the Leaf who were important to you, in some fashion. A beautiful woman and a lecherous man by a camp fire."

"Tsunade and Jiraiya. Former teammates of mine."

Rin nodded, her mind returning to the old man's face. "It also lingered on one person. The Hokage."

"Ah. Sarutobi Sensei."

"I saw him several times. Why do you feel your mind is showing me his image? Particularly in front of your parents' grave?"

Orochimaru's eyes sorted through his thoughts, an uncommon amount of introspection in his expression, as he mused. "I'm not sure."

Rin's hand came to his face, lightly stroking her nails down his cheek, the way she knew sent tingles through him. "I think I know why."

He waited, amber gaze turning to meet her deep eyes. "Tell me."

She sighed and slid that hand down to his chest, resting over his heart. "Your resolve to destroy the Leaf and take power, is hindered by the knowledge that to do so, will mean you'll face off against him. You're former teacher."

"I'm not afraid of him."

Rin shook her head. "It's not fear, my Lord, but shame."


	55. My Servant

Orochimaru thought about her words, the gravity of their weight settling into his veins like a river of ice. 

Shame. 

He hadn't felt shame in years. 

"My Lord?" Rin's voice drew him out of his thoughts. 

His eyes drifted to the side, steeling his heart against the pain creeping into it. "I see. What pathetic weakness."

"Is it weakness to value your master, sir?"

"When it comes to taking over a nation, yes. I can't hold to any silly notions like shame or remorse. My purpose is far greater than such things."

Rin stayed quiet, the old man's face coming to her mind again. 

She didn't know him, never said a word or saw him face to face, but even she felt a sadness in her heart at the thought of him perishing. 

If she could know that pain, what must her creator be feeling? Even now?

His frequent requests for her attention made sense.

He wasn't going to give up his attack on the Leaf, but that didn't mean he wouldn't have a shred of doubt in his mind or that it wasn't gnawing away at him, even if he didn't want to admit it.

Orochimaru hardened his heart, the lingering emotions of his humanity dimming into the void.

When the time came, he'd be the one to face his teacher and he wouldn't insult him with a half-hearted battle. 

Sarutobi Sensei deserved more than that. 

All at once, he felt the tender hands of his beloved pet come to his shoulders, rubbing away at the tension built up there. 

He smiled at her attempt to soothe him. "You've done your duty. You're free to return back to your quarters, if you wish."

This surprised Rin. He never gave her a choice on anything in the past. 

Whatever revelation she'd helped him uncover, must have shook him deeper than he was letting on. 

She never liked to linger in this room. Too many bad memories floating in the air, but in that moment, his rare show of vulnerability called to her.

"If it's all the same to you, my Lord. I'll stay for a while longer."

Despite himself, the cold man smiled and it was a true smile.

He'd never admit it to anyone and had a hard time facing it himself, but tonight, before he implemented his great plans, he didn't want to be alone. 

He wanted to take comfort in another person. 

His fingers came to his shoulder and squeezed her forearm. "I'd like that."

Rin's skillful hands rubbed up and down his shoulders, releasing the pain and tension in divine waves of relaxation. 

A thought suddenly occurred to her.

She remembered the gravestone in his memory, his mother's name by his father's, how young he must have been when he lost her. 

It was something new, something she'd never dared to try, but it felt right and it was now or never.

Gently, she took hold of his hands and pulled him up off the floor.

Orochimaru always sat on the floor, if he wasn't using her for other purposes. Some strange sense of separating the two, was important to him. 

His expression was confused. "What are you doing? I'm not in the mood for that."

"I know." Rin said, scooching herself to the far corner of the cot.

"What then?"

She gave a soft smile and brought him down so that he was laying on the cot, his head in her lap.

Her fingers took hold of the blanket and pulled it over him. "Close your eyes."

Though he wasn't sure of this new method, he complied and let out a breath, closing his eyes. 

Much like how she imagined his mother would do, Rin's fingers trailed through his long hair and settled on his head, turning his face towards her. 

"I still don't understand what you're... oh." His words quieted in his throat. 

All at once, memories flooded his mind at the sensation of her holding him on her lap, hiding him from the world.

Making him feel safe. 

She wasn't helping his resolve to destroy his humanity, but at this point, he was powerless to stop her.

It felt too raw to try. 

Rin cradled him as if he were the child of his past, the one who wasn't intent on destroying the world for his gain. 

What would his life have been like if his mother survived the war? Would he really have been that changed?

He didn't want to think about that now.

"Sing for me, little Sparrow." His voice sounded pained. 

Warm, lilting tones drifted through the room, releasing him from his confusing thoughts.

Her voice wrapped around him, lulling him into the deepest sleep he'd known in years. 

Rin stayed where she was, absently humming to herself, as her thoughts circled in her head. 

"What am I to this man? Is he even a man, at all? He's my creator, but the terrible things I've seen him do... the things he's done to me. Why am I like this? What's wrong with me?"

She watched, as his face softened with sleep, his breathing even and steady, hands limp at his sides. 

Rin knew the devastation he could bring with those hands and the innocent blood that would be spilled, come tomorrow. 

He'd be on his way to the Sand Village to murder the present Kazekage; the first of many victims to fall to his power. 

Her eyes trailed along his helpless stature.

She knew she'd never stand a chance against him.

Even if it were in his mind, he was leagues more powerful than she. There was nothing she could do to escape his terror or the strange feelings she had about him. 

The bizarre, dependent love she had for her abuser and the fear that came with his passing moods. 

Orochimaru had a soft spot for her, it was plain to see, but that didn't mean she was above his sick fascinations.

He'd experimented on her, just like the rest of his creations. She wasn't his equal by any means, but her status as "pet" won her some graces now and then. 

It was a good position to be in and certainly came with its perks. 

When the door slid open and a man stepped inside, she was acutely aware of the greatest benefit among them. 

Her gaze narrowed on the ninja with glasses, the one who stabbed her dearest friend through the heart and forever damaged hers. 

Kabuto took in the display of his lord's resting frame with thinly veiled disgust. 

He signaled for Rin to follow him. 

She looked down at his sleeping face and gave it one more gentle pat, before sliding herself out from underneath his head.

Kabuto walked out the room and waited for her to step with him, before closing the door. "That's enough. Return to your quarters."

Rin's mouth came to a hard line. "On who's orders?"

"Mine, of course. Are you questioning your superior?"

She scoffed. "Lord Orochimaru is my superior and he told me I could stay as long as I liked."

This angered him, she could tell by the way his nostrils flared. "You've been getting too full of yourself lately, Subject 18. Perhaps it's time I remind you of your place?"

Rin crossed her arms. "Touch me and he will destroy you. We both know that."

Kabuto looked back to the closed door and fought for the higher ground. "He has far more important things to worry about than you. Trust me, you don't have nearly the amount of power over him, as you think."

The silence between them was thick and unpleasant. 

She took a moment to get a good look at him, really see him for who he was. 

Kabuto was a skilled medical ninja, perhaps the best she'd ever meet, but he was flawed too.

There was some kind of unresolved trauma in him and as her talents grew, she sensed it louder and louder each day. 

A part of her would almost feel bad for him, if she didn't see Haru's dying expression each time she looked at his smug face. 

Rin smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "Perhaps I'm not as close to him as I believed. Perhaps I really am a lowly experiment and nothing more. And yet..."

"What?"

She closed the distance between them. "I'm not the one who was dismissed tonight, am I?" 

"Bitch."

Her lip curled into a snarl. "You'll call me 'Rin' from now on. That's the name I've been given and you'll address me as such."

Kabuto sneered. "You're out of your mind, if you think for one moment, I'm going to..."

"Sparrow? Where did you go?" Orochimaru's voice called, half-asleep.

Her smile was wicked, as she came to the thin door. "Just taking out the garbage, my Lord. I'd hate to have anything unpleasant to your sleep nearby. Why don't we rest together tonight?"

"Yes. Come back in here."

Rin's eyes took in Kabuto's fury. She met his hatred with her own, the silent message loud and clear. "Fight me, if you dare."

She laid down beside her creator, feeling his arms wrap around her waist, treasuring her warmth.

Her fingers absently twirled through his long hair, considering something she hadn't before.

Kabuto couldn't touch her. As long as she stayed in Orochimaru's good graces, she was safe.

For the first time in her life, Rin felt in charge of her own destiny. 

She wasn't sure how things would go after the invasion or what consequences would come, but in that moment, Subject 18 was gone and Rin stood victorious. 

~~

The memories of her past with Orochimaru crashed down, one after another. 

How could she tell Gaara what he meant for her?

How facing him and telling him that she wasn't his pet anymore, when that title was the very thing that saved her from being discarded, felt dangerous?

"Rin? Talk to me. You're far away in your thoughts, again."

His warm, husky voice wrapped around her, anchoring her to his embrace. 

Her hand came up behind his neck, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

With Gaara, she was safe, she was loved and, most importantly of all, she was equal. She wouldn't be his pet and he'd never dream of taming her. 

"Tonight. We have to tell him tonight and then..."

"Then what?"

Her eyes turned up to him, taking in the face that only held respect for her. "Why don't you show me the famous desert hot springs, I've heard so much about? I'm dying for a bath."

His face reddened at the thought of Rin sitting amongst the steam. "Certainly, if that's what you wish."

She smiled. "It is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! How are you guys feeling after that? It was a weird trip to make Orochimaru likable... at all, but I did my best. The next few chapters may have some "steamy" themes, so I hope you're ready!


	56. Laying Claim

The dining hall seemed like such an innocent place. 

A simple room, with a table, where your body finds nourishment. It should be the place you find comfort; a breeding ground of laughter and company. 

Then why was this the place where meetings of life and death occurred?

Rin picked at the skin on her left thumb, working a small tear. The pain helped her focus and tried to drown out the desire to run, that pulsed through her with each passing moment. 

How was she going to tell him? How would he react? It was one thing for her visit to have been on his terms, but Rin deciding to stay on her own accord, was out of his wishes. He'd never go for that. 

The twisting feeling of dread raked her body, dripping cold sweat down her back. 

Pick. Pick. Pick. 

Small drops of blood began to surface on her thumb, oozing from the self-inflicted wound. 

Until, suddenly, a cool hand rested on top of her skin, quieting its worry. 

Gaara raised her injured hand to his lips, kissing it softly. "It hurts me to see you do that."

"Sorry."

The feeling of his lips against her skin calmed the raging storm within, even for a few moments.

Realistically, she knew Gaara was stronger than Orochimaru, but old habits die hard and the man who would walk through those doors, had the power to make her feel like she was back on the examining table; strapped and helpless against whatever he wanted. 

"What is it you're always telling me to do when I'm nervous?" Gaara's words drifted in the air. 

"Breathe."

He leaned over so that his kiss found the side of her neck, his voice an anchoring whisper. "So, breathe. Let me help you through this, like you've helped me." 

A ripple of tingles washed through her at the feeling of his breath against her skin, but more so, the confidence in his words. 

Gaara had her back. She didn't need to be afraid. She didn't need to be afraid. 

The door opened. 

She was afraid. 

Rin tensed up like taut wire, all her senses alert. 

Gaara slid their hands underneath the table, squeezing once more, before addressing their guest. "Lord Orochimaru. Thank you so much for accepting my invitation."

His amber eyes took in the Kazekage and then settled on Rin. "The pleasure is mine. I'd thought you'd be too busy to receive me. Curious as to how your schedule lightened since this morning?"

Gaara gave a light, controlled smile. "You're an honored guest, my Lord, it's only natural I'd move some things around to have a meal with you."

The leader of the Sound matched his expression. "My, what wonderful etiquette you have. The evidence of a long line of Kage. So charming, that you've even managed to tame a little sparrow on your shoulder. Truly impressive, Lord Kazekage."

Rin flinched at the nickname both her mother and Orochimaru used. 

He sat at the opposite end of the table, studying the pair like they were a puzzle that needed solving. "Good evening to you, my dear. How lovely to see you up and out of the hospital. You're looking well. The Sand seems to agree with you."

Rin stayed where she was, her muscles tight.

His smile faded half an inch. "Rin, your master just paid you a compliment."

Gaara's eyes shifted to the woman beside him, who swallowed and lowered her chin. "Thank you, my Lord."

That was bizarre. He'd never seen Rin so docile before. 

His thoughts turned to when she received the scroll a few weeks ago. "Wait, that's not exactly true either. She acted like this when he commanded her to work on Haru. What kind of hold does this man have on her? Why is she so frightened?"

Gaara cleared his throat, signaling for the meal to be laid out before them. "I hope you find everything to your liking. Never visiting the Sound myself, I'm unaware of what your cuisine is."

"Well, we will have to change that, won't we? I'll make sure to arrange a special tour for you."

"Thank you, that would be very educational."

Orochimaru reached for roll and set it on his plate. "For myself as well. It's been forever since we had anyone from the Sand visit and I'll have to make sure to arrange it as soon as possible. I can only assume you'll be anxious to visit Rin. Her shop is adorable."

"I'm sure it is, but I won't be visiting Rin there."

He stopped, amber eyes turning to meet sea green. "Whatever you do mean, Lord Kazekage?"

Gaara's hand squeezed tight around Rin's. "Ms. Ito has made the decision to stay in the Sand."

His gaze shifted to Rin. "Is that so?"

There was silence and she realized, it was because he'd been looking at her, waiting for her response. 

It took a moment to find her voice, but the feeling of Gaara's hand in hers, gave her strength and she let out the breath she'd been holding. "It is."

"For how long?"

"Indefinitely... my Lord."

There it was. She made her claim and it was up to him to decide how he'd receive it. 

Orochimaru lifted a glass of wine to his lips, savoring the rich bitterness that coated his throat. He swirled it around and turned his attention to Gaara. "You know something I've always admired about the Sand, Lord Kazkage?"

Gaara waited. 

Orochimaru smiled, staring at the deep red liquid in his glass. "Your expert knowledge of endurance and sacrifice. Take this village for example; it's situated in the middle of the desert, where nothing comes easy. You have to work for your food, your safety, even your water supply. If there's anything the Sand understands, it's the small graces fate gives you..."

He set the glass down. 

"And how easily they can be taken away again."

"What are you implying, sir?"

His laugh was cold and lacking humor. "I've given you a wonderful gift, Lord Kazekage. A treasure in the Sound. How do you intend on repaying me for that gift?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "Rin isn't something to be given away. She's a person."

"An experiment."

A swirling cloud of anger began to build in his chest, while Gaara struggled to maintain his calm exterior. "A person. One who is invaluable to myself and my village."

Rin looked from one man to the other, feeling as though she wanted to defend herself, but terrified of making the situation worse. 

"Invaluable, you say? Is she really worth that much to you?"

Gaara's hand felt iron-clad around hers. "She is."

Orochimaru's smile sent ice through her veins. "To me, she is worth more."

The trickle of Sand that came around her ankles, woke Rin from her trance and she looked to Gaara, who was quickly losing his composure. 

"You can't take her back against her will."

"I can."

"I'll stop you. Rin is a human being."

"She is a product of the Sound and if you insist on keeping her here, you will be stealing from me, Lord Kazekage. Surely, you don't want to get the other nations involved in this dilemma? Legally, you have no standing to have her remain against my wishes. Everything is according to what I want."

There was a crack in Gaara's stone expression; the heat of his anger, resonating through his chakra in waves. "If it's a war you're after, the Sand will rise to meet you. I can't say that the Sound will survive the outcome."

Orochimaru's smiled pulled up too far his face. "You'd go through so much, for a woman you don't even know really loves you?"

"I know enough."

"Do you? Has it ever occurred to you exactly why you were drawn to her, Lord Kazekage?"

Gaara stood from his chair and lowered himself over the table, his fists digging into the wood. "I've heard this speech, Orochimaru. I know everything and I don't care what you have to say about her past."

The snake-lord rose up to meet him, long hair trailing over his shoulders. "I don't think you know everything. My little Rin is full of secrets. Did you know she's not as pure as you, my Lord? From what I hear, you've barely had time to run your country, let alone experience anything else."

"What are you implying?"

Suddenly, Orochimaru came around the table, taking hold of Rin's wrist and pulling her out of her chair. 

Gaara's hand rose, the sand accumulating in his grasp. "Release her."

She turned her face, her eyes seizing him, their expression clear. "Don't let him get under your skin. I'm fine." 

Orochimaru smiled, his other hand coming around her waist, pressing her against himself. "I don't think you know all the things my little Sparrow was made to do. Shall I inform you?"

The sight of the woman he loved in that monster's arms, was enough to enrage him. He wanted to pull her back, rip her from his grasp and throw himself head first into war over her, but the face she made was enough to still him. 

Rin's eyes spoke volumes, the small shake of her head pleading with him to stay where he was. 

Orochimaru's hand trailed up her waist, resting over her right breast. "That's right. You're dying to know, aren't you? You already met the original work, saw how she operated. That experiment was a favorite of mine. Her ability to take a mind and bend it to her will, was enthralling to watch. But there are other ways to ensnare a man."

His other hand let go of her wrist and pulled her hair-tie out, releasing the wavy tresses down her back. He pulled that mane of hair away and rested his chin in the crook of her neck, the smile never leaving his face. 

"I created Subject 18 to be the exact opposite and do you know the interesting thing I found? Pleasure calls to men so much quicker than fear. If I found an enemy of the Sound, all it took was sending in my beloved pet and he'd be at her mercy in one session. She's custom built to be pleasurable."

Gaara was ready to snap. There was no way she'd expect him to hold back when that man's hands were on her that way. 

Orochimaru's fingers trailed up, brushing over her lips. "Her voice is warm and sensual."

His hands ran down her arms, holding her wrists up. "These hands are soft, but controlled. Do you have any idea the things she can do with these hands? I know."

Rin wanted to cry. He was laying her bare for her lover to see, goading him into making the wrong move, but still, she begged Gaara to remain calm. 

Orochimaru kissed the side of her neck, the feeling of his lips so different than Gaara's. "Even I've taken advantage of her talents. I know firsthand how enthralling she can be. So, what do you think, Lord Kazekage? Are you man enough to handle my pet?"

That was it. Gaara was going to kill him. It didn't matter what repercussions came from the move, he'd snap this snake in two and skin him for the world to see. 

Until Rin's voice froze them both. "Are you, Lord Orochimaru?"


	57. Resolution

"18, something you'd like to say?"

Her face turned so that she was looking into his eyes, the deep well of her gaze holding him. "Why are you doing this?"

The question was so small and innocent, it caught him off-guard. "It's not your place to question why I do things."

Rin's face was sad as she spoke. "You're getting your way, aren't you? Wasn't it the original plan for me to be exactly where I am? Gaara trusts me. A member of the Sound is at his side. So... why are you pushing against this? Why do you want to take me home?"

He didn't know how to answer her. 

Gaara's fury hadn't stilled, the sand circulating around him like a hive of angry bees. "Take your hands off her."

Rin raised her hand, holding him there, her eyes still fixing Orochimaru in their wake. 

She wasn't more powerful than him. 

Though a master of her craft, he held strength she couldn't hope to match, but there was something in him that stayed where he was, listening to her lulling words. 

A small chink in his armor. 

"Rin."

He released her from his hold and she turned to face him, her voice soft and pleading. "What's the real reason, my Lord, that you don't want to let me go?"

His mouth opened to say something, but closed, amber eyes tracing her expression. 

Rin took his hand in hers, her thumb stroking it. "It's all right. You can tell me."

Orochimaru lost himself in the room, a surprising feat, considering the present company. "I don't want to lose. I've already lost enough. The Leaf, the Uchiha line, my standing in the Sannin. I don't want to lose to the Sand too."

Gaara stayed where he was, once again helpless in the danger she took on. He wondered if there would come a time when Rin would actually need him and not take on her fears by herself? 

While such a thought wasn't helpful now, it filled him, as he watched the pair, confused at the relationship between them. 

Rin squeezed his hand. "You aren't losing anything. This isn't about your strength or your claim."

Orochimaru tried to look away from her eyes, a small part of him knowing she was using her abilities on him, but the rest couldn't be accredited to her. 

He was held there by nothing besides himself, his voice uncommonly soft. "I knew he'd fall in love with you. I counted on that. I didn't expect you to fall with him."

There it was, laid plain for both of them to see. 

Rin released one of his hands, so that she could gently take hold of a strand of his long hair, twisting it around her fingers. "I have though. I love him."

Gaara's jaw dropped.

He wanted so badly to hear those words out loud, even if it were said in this awful context.

Orochimaru's expression shifted to several different emotions, as if he wasn't sure which one to land on. 

Rin fought hard not to lose him. 

In a final act of desperation, she lowered him into the waiting chair and herself onto her knees.

Her hands came to his arm, so that she was beneath him, her voice pleading. "Please, my Lord, let me have something in this life. The only thing I've ever truly wanted. Have I not lived to serve you?"

"You won't be serving me anymore. You were made for me."

Rin's fingers came to hold his hand. "The Sound has grown from the lab you made me in. We're a legitimate village now. Under your leadership, we're thriving. You haven't lost anything; you've evolved and isn't that what you value so much? Evolving into something better?"

His lips parted slightly, the idea fascinating to him. 

She brought his hand to her cheek. "Please, let me have this. Set your Sparrow free. If not, there's nothing you'll be able to do to get me to sing for you again. I won't be able to live, now that I've known my own kind of love. Show the world how far you've come and set me free."

The silence was thick and heavy, the evidence of his conflicting thoughts crashing on his face. 

His eyes turned to Gaara, who was still standing at the ready, sand circulating around his body in a dark cloud. 

"Will he make you happy?"

"He already has."

Then, surprising them both, Orochimaru stood, pulling her up with him. 

He walked her over to where Gaara was waiting, sizing the Kazekage up in his snake-like eyes. "It appears my Sparrow has found a new perch."

His cold hands squeezed Rin's and handed her over to Gaara. "Take her."

Rin looked from Gaara's stunned face, to her creator. "My Lord...really?"

The expression he made dropped her stomach; he looked defeated, like he'd lost his favorite toy. 

In some ways, he had. 

"Yes. I'll see myself back to the Sound tonight. I don't anticipate much rest in my future."

His steps led him away from them, but not before Rin broke free from Gaara. 

She ran in front of Orochimaru and wrapped her arms around his frigid body, her face in his chest. "Thank you."

He didn't hold her back. 

Instead, his took himself out of her grasp and gently turned her back to Gaara. "Your new master is waiting. Goodbye... Rin."

And just like that, he was gone, without a word. 

The room felt empty and yet, roaring at the same time. 

Rin turned to look at Gaara, uncertain of what she should say or how to react. Her knees gave out from under her. 

"Rin!"

Gaara rushed over and held her to himself. "Are you alright?"

She clutched onto his overcoat, fingers shaking. "Yes. I think I am."

His chin rested on the top of her head, as his arms encircled her. "I'm so glad."

"Me too."

Her eyes turned towards the door, confused at the sadness she felt for her abuser's departure and wondering if this really were the last, they'd hear from him?

Gaara's hands came to her face, holding it and kissing the top of her head. "You were a sight to behold."

Rin gave a breathy laugh. "I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew I didn't want a war over me."

The Kazekage stood, offering her a hand up. "I didn't want one either, but if that's what it took to save you, I was prepared. You, once again, proved you don't need anyone to fight for you."

She rested her head against his chest, her arms coming around him. "No, I don't need you to fight for me, Gaara."

Her lips came to his with one soft kiss. "But, I love the idea of you fighting with me. Together."

He smiled, brushing her newly released hair behind her shoulders. "I can do that."

His fingers wrapped around the light curls and a sudden impulse rushed through him. "Now, I believe you mentioned hot springs before?"

"I did."

Gaara's voice lowered into a sexy chuckle. "This has been a very stressful day. I think we both need a bath."


	58. Hot Springs

Rin allowed Gaara to take her from the dining room, away from the twisting halls and stuffy council room.

In fact, he took her off the grounds entirely. 

That was fine. She wanted to be as far away from the emotions she'd just experienced, as possible and...

Her attention turned to her hand, that was secured in Gaara's, as he led her past the backyard of the estate. 

She wanted to be with him tonight, in any way possible. 

Seeing her creator's defeated expression, gaining the freedom she wanted, all of it was overwhelming. 

Rin didn't know where she stood anymore, she just wanted to be beside the man she loved, wherever that may be. 

The sun set a few hours ago, the chill of the desert air drifting around her shoulders, raising goosebumps on her arms. 

Gaara slipped off his coat. "Here, we're not going too far, but it's going to get even colder soon."

"Won't you be cold?"

He smiled, draping the red fabric around her shoulders. "Hardly, I have you beside me."

Those words made her heart skip, filling her up with the ease she'd lost today. "So, where exactly are you taking me, Lord Kazekage? Are we going back to the Oasis?"

He shook his head. "Nowhere near that far. Just trust me, you'll like this. I intend to show you all the things about the desert that make it beautiful."

Rin held tighter to him, as they came to a large cliff face. She tilted her head up and couldn't see the top. 

Gaara patted the rock. "Here we are."

"And here is...?"

His arms came around her waist, pulling her close to himself. "Hang on. You'll find out."

A wave of sand came beneath them, causing her to lose her footing and stumble into his grasp. 

Good sand. 

Gaara's arms held her tight, as they climbed the impressive mountainside together, Rin begging herself not to look down. 

She closed her eyes and he laughed. "What's wrong? Don't like flying?"

Rin shook her head. "It's the falling, I don't like!"

He squeezed her shoulders. "Then don't look down. Look up."

Her eyes peeked open, just in time for them to past through the cloud covering and the sight that waited, stole her breath from her lungs. 

Above her, a universe of stars painted the night sky; their shine lighting up the word below. A large, cool moon hung lazily in the middle, surrounded by her children, who flickered in and out, in time with each other. 

Rin held close to Gaara, marveling at the swirling galaxies, that reminded her of jewels in the sky. 

Never before had she seen the heavens so clearly. 

Even in the Sound, where their homes were on raised hills and nature held them, they weren't this bright. 

Something about the vast expanse of the desert, made them shine brighter than before. 

Her eyes turned to Gaara's pleased face and felt a rush in her chest. 

Or, it could be that she'd never seen them with him before. 

The wave of sand beneath them, settled onto the top of the mountain, solid ground feeling wonderful under her feet again. 

Rin stayed looking at the mesmerizing sight above her. "This is amazing, Gaara. Thank you."

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, I had nothing to do with that, but it's a nice perk."

"What do you mean?"

Those hands turned her, so that she was looking behind them. "This is what I wanted you to see."

On top of a mountain, where she had no idea how others could reach, waited the hot springs she'd been promised, but unlike any she'd seen. 

Not the building with one or two small tubs and separate changing rooms, but one, open-aired bath, with a natural rock wall surrounding it. 

"This isn't what I'm used to." Rin murmured to herself, amazed at the sight. 

Gaara smiled. "It's fun to see you surprised. This is the Kazekage's private spa. Only members of the family are allowed up here. Hence why it's so difficult to reach."

He led her to the hot water, which bubbled up from the mountain's core, the steam rising against the cold night air. 

Rin dipped her toe in, gasping when it suddenly illuminated at her touch. "Why is it glowing?!"

Gaara knelt down and splashed his hand in the water, holding it up for her to see. "Bioluminescent. There are algae in this water that gives it that bright blue glow. Temari says it's good for the skin and girls care about that. What do you think?"

"About my skin?"

He chuckled. "No, your skin is lovely. I meant the water."

Rin shook her head, dipping her hands into the hot water, smiling as it shone in her grasp. "I think it's magical. Truly magical."

Gaara was captivated by the expression on her face. 

It brought him joy to show Rin new things, especially when she smiled like that. He'd give anything for that smile. 

"Where do I change?" 

The words snapped him out of his trance and filled him with a new sensation. "Oh... um. Nowhere really. Temari comes up here by herself and I've never bathed with anyone. It really just falls to whomever lays claim that night."

Rin stood up and turned to meet his expression. "I see."

The coat he gave her felt suddenly felt heavy. Her skin was hot beneath it. "So, we just get in, do we?"

Gaara's face reddened. "Oh, I was going to let you relax. I'll stand watch over you. I think you've earned some time to yourself."

"You're not planning on getting in with me?"

His pulse quickened. "If you want me to join you... I will."

Suddenly, Rin felt very much in control again. She knew how this must be for him and the attempt to be a gentleman, made her want to go faster than he was probably ready for. 

Instead, she slid her fingers into his and stood on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek. "I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I'm getting in, take your time coming after me."

The feeling of her lips against his cheek was enough to drive him wild. 

How in the world was he going to last in a hot spring with her?!

He swallowed the panicking thoughts rising in the back of his throat. "Alright. Go ahead."

She took a few steps away from him and waited. "Gaara?"

"Yes?" He nearly squeaked. 

Rin smiled and twisted her finger in the air. "Turn around so I can change."

"Oh, right." He did as she requested, inhaling the cold night air, begging for a moment of clarity in his thoughts. 

They ran rampant in his mind. 

"The steam will hide her. The layer of bioluminescent will cover her. I won't see anything.... I really want to see something... No, no, I don't, not if she doesn't want me to see her! Stop being selfish Gaara, she's been through too much for that to be on her mind. It wouldn't be right. You'll be taking advantage. How does Kankuro do this when he brings girls up here?"

Kankuro told him of his conquests before, but Gaara never wanted to hear about it. It seemed crude. He didn't want to be crude with Rin. He wanted to be the best person in her life.

"I should just leave her to her space. Respect her. Respect what she means to you." He chided himself.

"Gaara?"

"Yes?!"

Rin smiled, already in the water. "Are you coming?"

He steeled himself, breathing deep the scent of the natural spring. 

The inner dialog filled his mind again. "You're a man, Gaara. You're the Kazekage of the Sand. Now turn around, reign in your instincts and give her the proper respect she deserves."

He turned and wished he hadn't; all the resolve melting from his body and into the night air. 

Rin waited in the hot spring; lovely hair draped around her shoulders like a cloak. 

The layer of steam did blur her a bit and he wasn't mistaken about the algae hiding her entire body from his sight, but that didn't stop him from imagining what was below or feel even more tempted that he couldn't see her right away. 

Her smile was calm and pleased at his response. "I'm covered. It's okay to join me, if you want?"

Gaara stayed where he was, fixated on the way the ripples rose and fell whenever she shifted. One wrong move and he'd see everything he'd dreamed of. 

Rin tilted her head. "What's wrong? You brought me up here for this, didn't you?"

He cleared his throat, trying to find his voice. "I wanted you to relax."

"And for you to relax with me, yes?"

"Yes..."

"So?"

He wanted to join her, every part of his body begged to slide into the water beside the woman he loved and yet, he stayed put, uncertain of how to move forward. 

Rin studied the expression on his face, taking in the battle he was fighting. "Oh... I see."

She swam to the side of the pool that was closest to him, the shining water moving around her, showing more skin than he'd ever seen. 

Her arms came to the wall and she waited, looking like a mermaid, with the gentle smile on her face. "We don't have to do anything you don't want, Gaara. If you want to stay up there and keep watch, that's your choice. But, if you wish to join me in here, I'm happy to just be held by you, as well."

Her sweet words made him ache inside and he stepped closer to the water, kneeling down so that he was cupping her face. "I just don't want to take advantage of you right now."

Rin laughed. "My sweet Gaara, who do you think will be the one taking advantage here?"

His eyes widened at her laugh and felt a blush come to his cheeks. "Still..."

With that, Rin rose up out of the water and kissed him, her hands bracing her form against the pool side. 

Gaara froze in place, the overwhelming sensations shooting up and down his body. 

Her lips spoke around his, giving small kisses as she did. "Come here."

She lowered back down in the water and it was all he could do not to fall in with her. He wanted to be close to her. Needed to feel her kiss again, until he couldn't feel anything else. 

Without realizing he was moving, Gaara's fingers came to his shirt and lifted it off. 

Rin swam back to her original spot, enjoying the show of him undressing. 

She'd seen Gaara's chest and back before, the impressive tone of his muscles sending a flutter through her stomach. 

His fingers stopped at his pants and looked back to Rin, blood rushing to his face. "Um... could you?"

He was so adorable, she might die. 

"Okay, I'll close my eyes until you get in."

She did, promising herself she wouldn't peek, even though she wanted to. 

If he was going through so much to respect her, it was only right she'd do the same. 

The sound of him getting in the hot spring made her excited.

Gaara settled himself in, the water warming his cold body, melting his muscles in the best way. 

He waited for his heart to settle and stared at Rin, who rested with her eyes closed, like he asked. 

His inner voice rushed in his mind. "Oh god, what am I even doing? This is unmanly. She's probably expecting me to take her right here and now. Do I even know how? I'm just getting used to kissing her."

He watched the way the steam curled around her face and his body ached. "If she isn't lovely, though..."

Without thinking, Gaara swam closer and rested just to the side, studying her. She didn't seem real. 

Between the glowing of the water and the cool light of the moon, Rin's pale skin shone in the darkness. She looked like a celestial being; a creature that only came alive during the night and he was the keeper of those late hours. 

How could he have been allowed to be near such a divine being, let alone touch her?

Rin's mouth curled into a pleased smile. "Can I open my eyes?"

Gaara stayed where he was, fixated on the beauty before him, the feelings becoming overwhelming. 

"Gaara?" She asked again, her smile fading. 

Rin peeked one eye open, finding him in the pool beside her, the strangest expression on his face. "What is it?"

He shook his head, turning away from her. "I don't know."

Orochimaru's words came to him. "Are you man enough to handle my pet?"

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

Rin slid up behind him, wrapping her arms around his front, her voice sweet in his ear. "Love me. You already know how to do that."

Her lips went to his neck, leaving soft kisses. "And you do it better than anyone."


	59. The Embrace

~~~~~ MATURE CONTENT AHEAD~~~~~~~~~~~

The feeling of her lips leaving gentle kisses down his neck, set his heart racing, but that could have also been from the way her arms were wrapped around him or that her breasts were pressed against his back. He couldn't be sure.

Gaara sat faced away from Rin, hating himself for his lack of courage. 

This was the perfect moment and he was ruining it. 

He knew there was some primal instinct inside that would tell him what to do, but any time he thought of turning around and seeing her divine beauty, he froze. 

Nothing was going how it should. How could he face her like this? What kind of man was he?

Rin's lips ceased her trail of delicious kissing, when she realized it wasn't desire that made her partner shake. 

"Gaara?"

He raised a hand to his face, shielding it from her sight. "Rin... I...."

"What's wrong?"

His mouth opened, but no sound came out, just a stream of sentences that died in his throat. 

She tilted her head. "Did I do something you didn't like?"

"No! That's not it. I just...this is so embarrassing."

"Embarrassing? What's embarrassing?"

"This! Me! All of it!" His voice carried on the desert wind, as his other hand joined its brother, completely hiding his expression from her. 

"Gaara, I don't understand. Can you explain what's going on?"

"I know you don't understand because I don't understand either! I'm feeling all these different emotions and I don't know what to do with them."

Rin's eyes widened, surprised at the intensity of his voice. "Which emotions exactly?"

"I feel ridiculous explaining them. How can you understand when I don't even get it?"

Her hands came to his elbows, gently turning him to face her, though he still covered his face.

The feeling of him shaking beneath her grasp, made her heart hurt. "Try me. Take a breath and tell me one by one. We'll figure it out together."

Gaara inhaled the scent of steam and night air. "I feel... shame."

"What are you ashamed of?"

His breathing was unsteady. "That I'm screwing this up. That I have no idea what I'm doing and this is unbecoming of me."

Her heart clenched in her chest. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone goes through this at some point. Despite the common belief, no one is an expert naturally. We all learn as we go."

"I'm the Kazekage. I should be calm."

She wanted to laugh, but held it in. "So Kages aren't human, too?"

Rin's fingers trailed up and down his arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

He sighed. "I can't get his words out of my head."

"Who's?"

"Orochimaru's."

Her memory flared with the image of her creator and the cruel words he spoke.

The final knife wound before giving up his favorite toy, that did more damage than she realized, but exactly what he intended. 

"That you aren't man enough for me?"

He didn't reply. 

Rin's hands came up to his. "Gaara. Look at me."

"I can't."

"Please? I have something to tell you. Something important."

She helped him lower his guard and when his eyes found hers, she saw the pit of shame and self-loathing that waited beneath his stone expression. 

She held his hands under the warm water, running her thumb along his index finger. "I know that you're already aware what my purpose on this earth was; why I was designed in the first place."

"Yes."

Her expression was honest, though her words were distant and reaching, as if she were pulling them from deep within herself. "Did you know that a man is more likely to slip secrets in the bedroom versus a prison cell? In fact, the difference is so stark, that the method has been used for generations, spreading over various cultures. There is something about the softness of pleasure that drops the male guard."

The ripples of glowing water rose and fell with her words, warming them both. 

"Needless to say, I'm very good at getting information and my... skills have been exploited for several years."

Gaara's breathing was calm and steady, the gravity of her words sinking into his mind. "Exploited?"

"Yes."

"Meaning, you didn't have a choice?"

Her eyes lowered. "I never had a choice."

The steam danced in the night air, twirling around itself like hands stretching towards the dark sky.

His hand came to rest on her face, brushing her wet hair back over her shoulder, his problem suddenly feeling small in comparison. "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."

Rin held that hand tight and kissed his palm. "I'm not saying this for sympathy. I acknowledge my past, there's no use in denying my origins or dwelling on them. I'm saying this because I've never been with someone who loved me; genuinely loved me."

"Haru?"

Her smile was sad. "Yes. Haru loved me in his way, but we were very young and in a terrible situation. When you can be valuable one day and discarded the next, you experience things differently. What he and I had was a comfort in a hopeless place; a mutual desperation to just feel something before we didn't feel anything again."

Gaara focused on the droplets of water that trickled down her skin, reflecting against the shining water. She looked more an angel now than he'd ever seen her, especially with that vulnerable expression on her face. 

Rin slid closer to him, wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her head in the crook of his neck. "You're my first."

"Your first?"

Her eyes closed against the swell of emotion threatening to take her. "You're the first man who didn't want to claim me for his own needs, but treat me as something precious to him. I've never been precious before and in a lot of ways, I'm nervous too."

He couldn't comprehend how someone as fierce and lovely as Rin could be nervous about anything. "What makes you nervous?"

Her grip tightened slightly. "That I'm the one who doesn't deserve you."

The pale green of his eyes widened, the surge of protectiveness and adoration rushing through his body like a desert hurricane. 

Gaara's arms came around her, holding the woman he loved tight, the yearning in his heart painful and wild. 

Rin had been unclothed all this time, but in his heart, he knew this was the first he'd seen her truly naked.

She was breathtaking.

His lips came to her forehead, kissing the wet hair and trailing down the curve of her jaw. "Rin."

"Hm?"

Those wonderful, fiery kisses traveled to her neck, tasting the soft skin. "My beautiful Rin."

She smiled, the vibration of his words sending shivers down her spine. "Yes, Gaara. I'm yours."

He kissed the curve of her shoulder, nibbling here and there, intoxicated by the small gasps she breathed at his touch. 

Rin shifted so that she was sitting on him, her arms resting loosely around the back of his neck. "Look at me."

His eyes found hers and her stomach leapt with the heat behind them.

His gaze burned hot as he took in her face. "Yes?"

She leaned forward, soft breasts pressing against his firm chest. "Let me show you how much I love you."

"You love me?"

"Isn't that obvious?"

His gaze traveled to the hollow of her neck, where the dip of her collarbones called to his lips. "You've never actually said it before."

Her mouth stitched into an aroused smile. "Is that what you want to hear?"

His breathing came in short, rising pants, her wet skin driving him mad. "Yes."

Rin spread her legs so that she was straddling him, the feeling of her body intoxicating. "I love you."

"Again."

Her lips found the corresponding symbol on his forehead, the one he kept so carefully hidden away by his hair. "I love you."

His hands slid up and down her waist, memorizing the curves of her body. "Again."

Rin bucked her hips so that she rose out of the water a bit, making sure he got a good look at her.

The way his hungry eyes focused the shape of her body, made her want to devour him. "I love you."

Gaara wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to him, their bodies pressed together in the hot spring water. "Again."

She brought her lips to his, speaking around the taste of desire in his mouth. "I love you."

He moaned at the swelling need in his body. She wasn't close enough to him, he had to find a way to bring her even closer. 

Rin was his addiction and he was mad for her.

Her tongue pressed against his lips, asking for permission to enter and he obliged. He didn't know how it was possible, but she tasted like strawberries; sweet, sun-ripened strawberries on a hot day. 

Rin's hands came to his arms, her fingers memorizing the curves of his biceps, the strength as he held her. 

All at once, she felt something new to both of them and her smile was pleased at the sensation on her leg.

Her hand came to his chin, tilting it up so he was looking in her eyes. "Do you want this?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure? We can wait. We have all the time in the world."

He growled. "No."

The need in his voice was almost enough to send her over the edge, but the love in his eyes, the sheer adoration for everything she was, did. 

Rin lowered herself down, taking him in, her gaze never breaking from his. 

She wasn't going to miss this new expression for the world. 

His eyes turned from needing to surprised and from surprised to elated. "Rin!"

"Mm hm."

His voice choked with pleasure. "Oh god, Rin."

His fingers dug into the delicate skin of her waist and she winced at the strength in them. 

She took those hands into hers and laced her fingers, using him as support. "This is my love for you, Gaara."

His breath came in sharp, needing gasps, the sensation of her, sending fire through him in a near dizzying inferno.

Nothing could feel like this. Nothing would ever match this rapture. 

Until her hips started moving. 

Gaara's grip tightened. "Rin!"

She laughed, enjoying herself just as much as he. This felt different than before. He was different and so was she. This was just as much her first time as it was his.

Gaara felt the storm within threaten to release and his eyes came to hers, begging for permission. 

The smile on her face gave it. 

His world transformed into a rush of pleasure; a release of everything he'd never known and some things he knew for certain. 

Blinding, heavenly release. 

Rin breathed in time with him, her own tingles shooting up and down her legs, but fading into a gentle buzz of electricity.

She slid a hand behind Gaara's head, holding him to her chest, savoring the embrace between them as he panted. "Rin..."

"Yes."

"Rin... I..."

"I know."

He trembled in her arms, feeling a rush of exhaustion take him. 

Rin moved off his lap and sat beside him, watching his expression to see how to proceed. What she saw made her heart dance within. 

Gaara's eyes were half-slits, his breath still heavy as he combed through all the new sensations he'd just experienced. 

She smiled and took hold of his arm, gently pulling him down so that he was leaning against her. He was weightless in the warm water and she held him close, tenderly scratching her nails through his hair. "Gaara."

"Hm?"

"I love you."

He moaned softly. 

Rin's lips came to his forehead, as her hand delicately closed his eyes. "I love you."

And he was gone. 

She continued to scratch his head and hummed softly to herself, taking in the clear stars above her. 

There was a time when Subject 18 became Rin, redefining her world.

In this moment, with the man she loved, sleeping so deeply beside her, the lingering sensation of his desire for her still sending tingles through her body, Rin became something entirely knew. 

She became his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it was my lovelies! Sorry it took so long, but I'd completely scrapped two copies and settled here. I wanted this to be loving and special between them and if you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	60. The Next Morning

The hours drifted by, each special in their own way. 

Rin was content to let Gaara rest beside her for as long as he'd like, but from the way her fingertips were pruning and the chill of the desert night around them, it was time to bring this wonderful encounter to a close. 

Her eyes turned down to his sleeping face; so gentle and relaxed, it made her heart warm.

It felt like a crime to wake him, especially when he'd just started allowing himself to rest properly. 

She ran her pinky down the bridge of his nose and kissed the space between his eyes. "Gaara?"

He didn't respond.

"He's out cold." Rin thought to herself, giggling. 

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer to herself and kissed his ear. "Gaara?"

He stirred at the sensation of her whisper, but still didn't open his eyes. "Hm?"

"Wake up."

It looked like it took effort, but eventually, those cool eyes opened, blinking against the shine of the hot spring. They traveled up to the dark sky and over to the face that made him feel stronger than he'd ever been. 

"Rin."

"Welcome back."

"Did I go somewhere?"

She giggled. "I'd say so. You've been asleep for three hours."

An adorable blush came to his cheeks and he held up his water-wrinkled hands. "That long? I can't believe I fell asleep! Especially after...well... I'm sorry. That's bad isn't it? Kankuro told me that once. That's..."

Rin silenced his thoughts with a kiss, inhaling his scent and locking it away in her memory. "A huge compliment."

He exhaled his relief and stroked a hand down Rin's face. "Did you use your jutsu when I was asleep?"

"No. Why?"

"You were there."

She smiled. "I was? What did you see?"

He looked into the water, shuffling through the images. "We were in the Leaf, actually. I was visiting and took you with me. Naruto told me about a place he liked. We were having a picnic with he and some of the other shinobi. You held my hand."

If he said another sweet thing, Rin would die. 

Her hand slid into his, pulling it out of the water and kissing his knuckles. "Like this?"

He nodded. "Was that a dream?"

"Yes. You had a dream."

Gaara smiled like warm sunshine. "I had a dream."

Rin stood up in the hot spring, her legs shaking a bit from staying in one position for so long. 

She stretched her arms up towards the night sky, muscles flexing and relaxing all the tension out of her body. This was definitely her favorite place in the Sand so far, and she made plans to visit regularly. 

The combination of heat and natural minerals from the mountains, made her skin soft and the bioluminescent algae stayed, giving her a slight glow. 

When she finished her great stretch, Rin turned around to face Gaara, only to find him staring at her body. 

"Gaara?"

He flinched when she said his name and looked away. "Sorry."

"For what?"

His throat cleared. "For staring."

She placed her hands on her hips, her smile mischievous. "I don't mind if you stare, but after what happened tonight, you're still shy about looking at me?"

The blush on his face reddened even as she said that. "Forgive me, I'm not used to looking at something so beautiful. It will take some getting used to."

Rin's eyes warmed and she bent down to grab hold of his hand, pulling him to his feet in the water. 

Her lips found his flustered cheek and she chuckled. "I hope you never do. Let's head back, okay?"

They climbed carefully out of the hot spring and found their clothes, though Rin would have been happy to stare at his form a little longer. Gaara wasn't a large man, by any means, but his built reminded her of a jungle cat; sinewy instead of broad.

She liked that. 

He held out a hand to her, leading her to the side of the cliff and she took it readily. 

Something in her was different now. A piece that let her know she'd be reaching for his hand for the rest of her life and it was wonderful to be there. 

By the time they made it back to the main house, the sun was just peeking over the horizon. The early shift staff set about cooking breakfast and preparing for the day, paying no heed to the Kazekage sneaking in the back with his lover. 

Or at least, not opening paying heed. 

Gaara took Rin to her room and held the door for her. "You must be exhausted. I'll see you later this evening, for dinner?"

She looked into the empty room and back into his cool gaze. "You're not going to rest up as well?"

He shook his head. "Sadly, no. My duties as Kazekage won't allow it and I'm not tired at all."

"No?"

His eyes shone with memories of the night prior. "Not at all. I've never felt more alive."

It was her turn to feel flattered and she dipped her chin, trying to hide the red rising on her cheeks. "So, shall we discuss what it is I'm supposed to do now?"

"Do?"

Rin fiddled with the edges of her hair. "Since I'm not going back to the Sound and my mission has been completed here, I need something to do. I can't keep living as the guest of the Kazekage, it wouldn't feel right. I need to work to earn my keep."

"You do more than enough to earn it with me." He said with a sexy chuckle. 

Rin playfully smacked his shoulder. "I mean it. I can't sit around doing nothing. It's not in my personality."

"I understand. Why don't you rest and we'll discuss it further at dinner tonight? I'll find a place in the Sand for your talents, you have my word."

"Thank you. Well... goodnight then." She said turning into her room. 

Suddenly, Gaara's hand took her waist and pulled her into himself, seizing a kiss that made her toes curl and her heart thunder in her chest.

When they parted, he smiled. "Goodnight, my desert rose. I'll be thinking of you all day."

He left and Rin closed the door, sliding down it to sit on the cool floor, her hands pressed to her face. "If he keeps kissing me like that, I'm not going to be able to catch my breath again."

She slid one of her hands down to rest on her heart and smiled at the racing within. 

So, this is what it felt like to be in love.

~

Gaara changed clothes and made his way to his office, where his secretary and piles of paperwork waited.

"Good morning, Lord Kazekage."

"Good morning, Kai. Which meetings has Temari scheduled for me today?"

"According to the Captain, you have a meeting with..." She trailed on, her voice dimming in the background. 

Gaara tried to focus on her words, nod his head at the appropriate times, but images of last night flittered through his mind. 

Rin's soft skin, the curve of her lips, the sounds she made...

"Lord Fifth? Sir?"

His eyes shot up to the mousy woman and he cleared his throat. "Yes, that all sounds perfect. I'll set to work now, thank you."

"Would you like your breakfast delivered here, sir? Your siblings say you didn't eat with them this morning."

The rumbling in his stomach surprised him. Had he really not even noticed he hadn't eaten yet? 

"Yes please, oh and ensure that a tray of food is delivered to Ms. Ito's room in a few hours. Something light as she will be joining me for dinner tonight."

"Yes sir."

Kai leapt to his requests and Gaara leaned back in his chair, running a hand over his face. 

"Get it together. You have a job to do. Time to focus."

He reached for one of many papers on his desk, when the door opened and his concentration was disturbed again. 

"There you are. We've been looking for you all morning." Temari scolded. 

Kankuro came in behind her. "I had to eat your share of breakfast this morning. Hope you didn't mind?"

"You didn't need to do that. You wanted to do that." His sister glared. 

Kankuro shrugged. "Waste not."

Gaara acknowledged them. "My apologies for making you worry. I was away from the home last night."

Temari leaned against the wall, scanning through the schedule she passed on to his secretary. "Doing what?"

His heart quickened, but his voice didn't waver. "I felt like visiting the hot spring. Had some tension to work out."

She nodded. "Ah, I'm glad you're taking advantage of that. Lord Orochimaru departed early this morning, with his escorts."

"Good."

Kankuro studied his brother's face. "I'm assuming Ms. Ito didn't join him, then?"

Gaara picked up a document and scanned it. "She did not."

"So, she's staying here?"

"Yes." 

"For how long?"

He glanced up from the paper and back down. "Indefinitely."

Kankuro crossed his arms with a smile. "Well, how about that? Looks like she's made quite the impression on you, Gaara."

"You could say that."

Temari looked between her two brothers and the realization dawned on her. "Wait a second. I didn't see Ms. Ito at the breakfast table either. Did she eat today?"

"I'm having a tray of food delivered to her later. She'll be asleep for the next few hours."

"Did she have a late night?"

Gaara tried to keep his face calm. "Yes."

"Helping you sleep, was she?"

It felt like his entire body was on fire. "Well... I did sleep afterwards."

There was silence; utter, consuming silence as the realization of his words settled into the room. 

Temari's face looked so uncomfortable, but was over-shadowed by Kankuro rushing to the desk and pulling the document straight out of his brother's hand. "Are you saying you did what I think you did?!"

Gaara avoided his gaze. 

"Well?! Spit it out!"

He gave the smallest nod and it was enough to set the Puppet Master into a frenzy. "Hot damn! It happened! We need to celebrate! We need food and music and alcohol. Oh, so much alcohol! I'm so proud of you!"

His hand found its way to Gaara's shoulder with a sharp smack. "Tell me everything!"

"No, he will not!" Temari barked and she rushed to retrieve her brother. 

"Come on Temari! This is amazing! Don't you want to know?"

"I don't and you shouldn't. This is Gaara's private business and if you have enough time to waste prying into it, then you're not busy enough. Get out of this room, right now!"

"But..."

"Now!"

She pushed him outside, slamming the door behind them and Gaara slid down in his chair, trying to hide his red face away from the world. 

Temari's hand found her brother's ear, much like when they were children, and led him down the hallway. 

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Let go, will ya?" He whined. 

She released him and crossed her arms. "Leave him alone about this. I mean it, Kankuro."

He rubbed his throbbing ear. "I don't get it. This is great! Why shouldn't we show him our support?"

"Is it great?"

Kankuro lowered his hand. "Why not? Our brother is in love. Gaara found someone he loves and she loves him back. Ask yourself, Temari, in your heart of hearts, did you ever think that would happen for him?"

Her eyes came to the floor, ashamed at the thought she had. "No."

"So, why can't we be happy for him? Don't you like Rin? I thought she was getting on your good side, lately?"

"It's not that I don't like her."

"You still don't trust her? I think she's proven herself loyal to Gaara enough. We don't need to suspect her anymore."

"It's not that either."

Kankuro scratched his head. "Then what's the problem?"

Temari's breath was a long sigh, the sadness uncommon on her cold face. "I'm so happy Gaara's in love. From the bottom of my heart, I am, and someone like Rin is perfect for him. She's feisty, but kind and incredibly patient. I think she's a wonderful fit emotionally, but... Kankuro... you know they can't be together."

"Why not?"

She looked at him like he was incredibly stupid. "Think with your mind for a moment. Whether we like it or not, Rin Ito is from the Sound. The village is already buzzing with rumors of their courtship and they aren't pleased. Every Kazekage in the past, has married a woman of the Sand and those women all had stature of some kind. Noble families have already been sending requests for him to meet their daughters and arrange a marriage."

Kankuro made a face. "I haven't seen any of these letters and Gaara never mentioned them."

She nodded. "I've been intercepting them. So far, none of the women brought up would have been a beneficial match, regardless. Also, I didn't feel Gaara was at a place in his life to consider marriage, so I didn't want to bother him with it. Now, it seems, I was wrong."

The two started to walk down the hall together, their voices hushed with the discussion.

Kankuro looked around to make sure they weren't followed. "So, what does this mean for them? Are you saying there's no way they can be together?"

Temari shook her head. "I'm afraid not. The council would never allow it. There is no benefit from the match."

"But he loves her."

The silence between them was heavy and Temari felt like she was sinking into the floor. "I know and that makes everything far more complicated."


	61. Priceless

Rin slept a dreamless sleep, which was a strange phenomenon for her. 

Sometimes she'd have her own memories displayed, but she never liked to dwell on them. Most nights, she dreamt other people's memories; things shown to her in their distress.

Those images were so clear to them and held onto the dream walker, long after the host dismissed them. 

She wondered if Mr. Akiko still dreamt of giant gophers in his kitchen... because she did. 

But this time, this wonderful day, she just closed her eyes, disappeared for a while and opened them again, nothing more. 

She stretched out long in the bed, burring her face in the pillows. 

It felt good. 

The sun dipping on the far wall, let her know she'd only been out for a few hours and that was fine, she didn't need to sleep the day away. 

Rin pulled her knees up to her chest, thinking about the prior night. 

Gaara's expressions, the pleasant sensations rippling up and down her body, how even now, she could still smell him on her skin and it made her heart warm. 

She inhaled the scent of afternoon heat and musk. 

Gaara. 

Her arms longed for him long after he left her side.

Her feet found the cool floor, leading to the window, where white curtains drifted in the warm breeze. 

Rin pulled back the cloth to reveal the bustling village below. 

She rested her chin in her hand, watching them go about their lives, like a heavenly spectator. 

"Bread! Fresh baked bread! Grab some for your table!"

"Finest cloth in Suna! Silk worm tapestries!"

The cry of merchant living was a melody she could get used to. 

Of course, there were shops in the Sound, but not like these. They were only just discovering what it meant to be a village and what would be in demand to be self-sustaining. 

No one sang out their product; instead, the buyer was expected to walk into backrooms, where deals were made and products were exchanged under the table.

It's why she preferred to keep her business outside the village barriers. It seemed far more peaceful that way. 

Between the sound of dancing river, the rustle of tree branches and the scent of her crackling fireplace, Rin was convinced there would never be a better place for her craft; especially here. 

She watched a mother peruse a stand that sold dates, while her young son tried to coax a puppy out from one of the alleys. 

Her heart dipped. 

She missed her cute little shop. 

Now that her mother was dead and she made her decision to stay in the Sand, no one would be around to man it. 

She wondered how long it would take before her things were carted away and her building was either demolished or transformed into something else?

Hopefully nothing too nefarious. 

Rin rose up from her melancholy stance, fixing her hands to her hips "Enough. You aren't going to stay up here and sulk, Ito. There's a job you can do in this village and damn it, you will find it!"

A whisper of doubt came to the back of her mind. "If they'll have you."

She let a determined breath out her nose and turned to walk out the door, nearly tripping over the tray of food left there. 

"Oh."

Rin bent down to retrieve it, twisting her body back inside and setting it on the table. 

When she removed the covering, she found a light assemblage of fruits and meats, but what drew her attention most, was the small flower resting to the side of the place and a note written in elegant script. 

"For my desert rose."

Her smile was pleased, the fluttering feeling in her chest making it seem like the room was spinning. 

How he could do that when he wasn't even in the room, was a wonderful mystery. 

She lifted the tiny rose bud to her lips and kissed it. 

"He'll have me. That's all that matters."

After finishing her late lunch, Rin tip-toed her way through the mansion, uncertain what the rules were, now that she'd decided to stay in the Sand. 

A part of her actually missed the constant presence of her faithful guards, at least they knew the crazy layout of this place. 

She wondered if they missed escorting her as well or if wall duty really did call them?

By the expression on their face when it was mentioned, she sincerely doubted it. 

It would take her years to figure out all the twists and turns of the Kazekage's home and by the time she found her way to the main doors, half the afternoon was already lost. 

If she were going to maintain her dinner plans with Gaara, she'd have to explore quickly. Though, knowing her tendency to find trouble, that may have been for the best.

The two guards standing at the entrance, assessed her when she stepped forward. 

"Hello?"

They nodded. 

"Um, I was planning on going out for a bit."

Another nod.

"So... I'll just do that."

Her eyes drifted from one face to the other and, tentatively, stepped through them and into the waiting village. 

She let out a relieved breath. "Well, first hurdle crossed. Now, let's see what I can do in this village."

Rin's steps were light and careful, as she traveled down the stairway, choosing a direction at random. 

The Sand wasn't a gigantic village and the circular pattern always led back to the Kazekage at the middle, so she shouldn't have been too concerned with getting lost. 

However, she decided to keep the top of the home in her line of sight... just in case. 

Rin stood in the middle of the street, the world going on around her. "Where do I even start?"

The cold, dark prison waited to her right. 

Left it was. 

If she could go the rest of her life without being reminded of the horrors that happened there, she'd consider it a blessing. 

She assumed Orochimaru took Haru's body back with him to the Sound. He was a product of theirs after all, it would be poor manners to leave him there.

The thought was foul in the back of her throat. 

No, she wasn't going to dwell on that right now. 

She had a new mission to accomplish and the sun was setting soon. 

"Hello, lovely lady."

Rin stopped in her tracks at the calling voice and looked around to find the source. "Me?"

It led to an older woman, who rested in the shade of her booth, fanning herself against the afternoon sun. "Yes. Please, come closer, my dear."

She complied, grateful to escape the heat herself. "What can I do for you?"

"No, no, my sweet, it's what can I do for you? Surely, a pretty thing like you takes care of her skin well?"

Rin glanced down to the wares she was selling and found a variety of lotions. 

"I try to keep up basic conditioning. What are you selling?"

The woman smiled, showing a few missing teeth in the back, but the thin veil she wore, blocked most of them. 

"The widest arrangement you've seen! I've traveled all over this world and found the best mixes for any kind of need you may have. For instance, here is a rare one. This lotion is infused with Shinzadra berry, collected from the Land of Fire. For menstrual cramps and pains of childbirth. Rub it onto your face before you go to bed at night and you'll fall asleep instantly."

Wrong. 

Rin's eyes went over the display. "Interesting. And, what about this one?"

"Ah, you have a good eye! That's our lavender collection. Simply sprinkle that into your tea in the morning and you'll be renewed, ready to take on the day. I call it 'pep your step purple'."

The peddler laughed at her own joke, while Rin tried to keep her eyes from rolling. 

Wrong again. 

She cleared her throat. "I see. I've always read lavender is used for relaxation and calming. Can't say I've ever heard it prescribed as an energizer."

Faded grey eyes scanned her up and down. "I'm well practiced in my craft, dear. It's fine if you don't know these things. That's why I'm a professional."

Don't cause trouble on your first day. Don't cause trouble on your first day. Don't cause trouble on your first day. 

Rin turned the bottle around in her hand and the price made her audibly gasp. "1,500 ryo?! You can't be serious!"

"That's a rare flower, dear." The peddler smiled, her voice sharpening at the end.

"In what world is lavender rare? This is a very common flower! It grows everywhere and can survive even in this heat, if someone found a place for a garden. You're ripping these people off!"

Passing villagers stopped what they were doing, drawn to the commotion coming from the normally peaceful shop. 

The woman stood up from her stool, trinkets clinking on her veil. "You come into my place of business and insult my product?!"

Rin's nostrils flared, tossing the lotion back at her. "I do indeed! Look at this nonsense! Lemongrass for raising blood pressure. Only if you wish to put someone in a coma!"

"You... you can't just..."

"And over here! How dare you charge such an exuberant amount for something as common as mint! Since when is mint used for vision? Would YOU rub a mint leaf in your eyes? In fact, I think you should."

A crowd gathered now, whispered voices rising into a buzz behind the angry Sound girl. 

Rin lifted up the leaves to the peddler. "Here. You're on in years and wearing glasses, surely your eyes would benefit from the herbs you claim work this way. Show these people you stand by your product. Go on, show them!"

"Rin?"

The voice made her freeze mid-toss, fragrant leaves falling from her hand.

"Lord Kazekage." The peddler sighed her relief. 

Rin winced at the confirmation. 

He stepped through the crowd of observing villagers and dipped beneath the covering of the booth. "What seems to be the trouble, here?"

"Um..."

The peddler sat back in her stool with a dramatic flair, fanning herself wildly. "Thank goodness, you're here. This rude young woman stepped into my shop and started besmirching my products. All with no provocation!"

"No provocation, my ass." Rin mumbled under her breath.

Gaara gave her a look that silenced any further comments she wanted to make. 

He glanced over the display of lotions and oils. "I see. My apologies for the disruption of your business. I assure you, no such thing will occur in the future, by Ms. Ito."

The woman's smile was wicked and satisfied. "Thank you, Lord Fifth. It's clear your Sound guest hasn't learned how to conduct herself with civilized people yet."

Rin's hands curled into fists, but Gaara subtly stood in front of her, hiding her fuming cheeks away. 

"It may appear that way, but I promise you, Ms. Ito is quite skilled in her craft, as well."

"Her craft?"

Rin's eyes focused on the back of Gaara's head and her voice rang in her mind. "That's right! No knows why I'm here, still. My purpose was hidden from the Sand. This woman has no idea who I am or what my practice is."

The Kazekage's smile was gentile. "Why yes, Ms. Ito is the leading expert in relaxation and sleep methodology. I can verify her skill personally. Perhaps the two of you can come together in the future and exchange your bountiful knowledge?"

She looked from Gaara, to the fuming woman standing behind him, her voice softening. "Lord Kazekage, you could have always called upon me to assist you. I can guarantee one of your own people would have sufficed far more than a member of the Sound."

He reached out to take hold of the lavender bottle, which set Rin off in the first place, weighing it in his hand. "Perhaps, however, I don't think even a Kage could easily afford these prices. You must be very certain of your talents, indeed."

Her eyes went to the outrageous price. "An expensive sum for a rare flower, my Lord."

Gaara turned back to Rin, who wanted to crawl in a hole and die. "I couldn't agree more. Ms. Ito?"

"Yes?" She nearly jumped out of her skin. 

His smile softened at the edges when he looked at her, his voice raising so the rest of the villagers heard him plain. "How much would you charge for such a flower, in conjunction with your services?"

Rin shook her head. "I would do that for free, my Lord. You shouldn't put such a price on compassion, especially not for something that grows so freely."

Gaara nodded and set the bottle back down, his eyes taking in the peddler, who's face had turned red even through her silly veil. "There you have it. Ms. Ito and her services are a special cost, indeed."

He gently pressed his hand to the small of her back and led her out of the booth, speaking behind himself, so everyone would hear. "Priceless."


	62. Acceptance

The buzz from the villagers was enough to make Rin's hair stand on end.

Between the burning in her cheeks and the feel of their eyes on her, it took everything she had not to run from their whispers.

However, Gaara's hand on the small of her back, was the main reason she stayed planted to her spot.

His embrace hadn't lifted, as he escorted her away from the fuming lotion peddler, who was actively shutting up her booth, mumbling profanities to herself.

The Kazekage maintained his gentile smile, though it looked alarming out of place.

It occurred to Rin how many expressions she'd seen on Gaara's face and yet, the impassive look that reminded her of stone, was the one she favored the most.

An image of his face at the hot spring came to her mind.

Well... the second one she favored.

Gaara led her away from the bustling crowd and dipped into a side alley, where they could speak without the entire village listening.

Only then, did he drop his hand and turn to address her. "So..."

Rin's eyes slammed shut, her face twisting into a wince. "Yes?"

"How is your day going?"

She let out a groan and brought her hands up to shield her face from his sight. "I tried!"

"I'm sure."

"I did! I really did!"

He turned his attention back to the crowd of people, who were actively trying to get a peek at the outrageous products that caused the upset of the day.

It wasn't often the Kazekage spoke to any of the merchants, so to have him take such keen notice of one booth in particular, was cause for investigation.

"May I ask, what was it you were trying to accomplish today? Other than upsetting the entire marketplace?"

Rin's voice was muffled behind her hands. "I wha trhn to fffnd a dob."

"Pardon?"

She groaned. "Dob."

"I'm still not hearing you."

Her fingers split, so that her voice rang clear. "I was trying to find a job!"

"Oh... oh I see."

Rin's cheeks flushed with a shame that radiated down to her toes.

Suddenly, it felt impossible to maintain eye contact with him and she fixed her gaze to the dirt alley. "I said this morning, that I wanted to be useful to you and the Sand, but now, I feel like I've only made things worse. Whenever the villagers look at me, all they see is a strange girl from the Sound. Even if I were on my best behavior, I doubt anyone is going to want to give me the time of day."

"Probably not."

She grimaced. "You don't have to agree so readily."

Gaara's brow furled. "I don't understand. Why is this so important to you? You're more than welcome to continue your services with me. That's work you know you can do and excel at. Why go through the trouble of trying to find a place outside?"

"Because they are never going to accept me as your partner if I don't prove that I can be one of them!"

His eyes widened slightly. "That's what this is about?"

Rin pulled her hands up, rubbing her arms against the rising anxiety that always threatened to talk her at the worst times.

What she said was true. She didn't want to admit to herself how different she was, but there was no avoiding it. Even if she weren't from the Sound, the only work Rin ever knew was in her own craft, that was designed in a lab.

She had no idea how to do anything else. Especially not the jobs required in a land as harsh as the Sand.

Gaara's arms came around her, his hand resting on the back of her head, shielding her from the world. "Rin."

She started to pull away from him. "You shouldn't do this out here. People will see."

"Let them."

"I'm not ready for that yet."

He thought about it for a moment and closed his eyes, summoning up his sand and creating a barrier around them.

"Better?"

Rin peeked out at the walls that completely hid them. "Yes."

She pressed her head to his chest, letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For shaming you today."

Gaara's arms were tight around her. "You've never shamed me, Rin. In fact, seeing that display today, made me realize something."

"What?"

He smiled, kissing the top of her head. "How proud I am of you."

"Why? My temper got the better of me and I embarrassed myself in front of everyone." She squeaked.

He held her closer. "I was taking my usual afternoon walk through the village and heard the commotion. When I parted the villagers, I found a woman with her hands on her hips, her jaw set, eyes of pure fire, as she defended her position against injustice. I stood there, watching her cause a ruckus and listened to the shocked whispers of her behavior, when a thought came to mind, that was much louder than the noise surrounding me."

She braced herself, picturing the scene he was describing.

He smiled. "That woman is mine, fiery temper included."

Gaara's hand came up to her chin, tilting it so she was looking at him. "And I could never feel shamed by her."

The soft touch of fingers and warmth of his words made Rin swoon. "Thank you."

She rose up on her toes, showing her gratitude in a gentle kiss.

Gaara felt a spark in his brain whenever her lips met his and he inhaled her jasmine scent, made even stronger with the afternoon heat.

Rin pulled back, brushing a hand over her eyes. "I'll try again tomorrow. I think I've done all the damage I can today."

He smiled. "Let's not tempt fate, shall we?"

"I suppose not."

Gaara let the sand drop around them and Rin made her way out of the alley, trying to ignore the eyes that followed her movements.

Her voice rang in her mind. "It's fine. They'll just take some time to get used to you. Don't stare back. Keep your eyes forward. That's it."

Suddenly, Gaara was beside her and placed a hand to stop her in her tracks.

"Gaara?"

He looked up at the sky, where the sun was beginning its descent behind the mountain range.

"It's not safe to walk these streets at night."

"What?"

His arm raised slightly. "Would you mind if I escorted you home?"

Rin looked around at the villagers, all of whom were staring. She noticed two younger women in particular, who seemed upset at the attention their Kazekage was giving a stranger.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, before sliding her arm through his, pulling her body closer. "Yes, please."

He smiled and continued on, ignoring the appalled gasps that followed.

Rin couldn't help but look around them, noticing every sneer, every whispered conversation and felt her stomach twist. "They're staring, Gaara."

"Let them."

"Shouldn't you be concerned with what they think of you? You are the Kazekage, after all."

He smirked. "I used to house a terrifying demon that ran rampages on their homes if I fell asleep for more than five minutes. I think they can handle me escorting a beautiful woman."

Despite herself, Rin smiled. "I guess so."

They walked at a leisurely pace, neither wanting to return to the mansion quite yet.

If Rin closed her eyes, it almost felt like she was on a date and not the center of speculation from an entire village.

With Gaara beside her, she felt like she could really belong here.

It would just take time and patience...if only she could say she were a patient woman.

Her eyes turned up to the gentile smile he'd adopted and she chuckled. "Is that the face you were advised to wear in the village?"

"Is it that obvious?"

She drew closer to him. "Only to me. I know what your real smile looks like."

"Yes, I suppose you would."

"I think it's nice that you take walks through the village. Does anyone approach you?"

Gaara shrugged. "Well, actually, we're almost to..."

"Lord Fifth!"

Rin stopped at a young voice and watched as Gaara's smile went from controlled to authentic.

"Right on time."

He turned around, still holding his lady's arm and addressed the small girl. "Good evening, Hana. How are you?"

Hana's broken smile made Rin want to squeeze the life out of her. "I'm good! Who is this?"

"This is Miss Rin Ito. Ms. Ito, this is Hana. My usual companion on these daily walks."

"A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Hana."

The young girl scanned Rin up and down, questions clear in her eyes. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, not originally."

Her face curved into an inquisitive stare. "Are you the lady everyone is talking about?"

Rin held back her groan. "Probably. I seem to be drawing a lot of attention lately."

Hana waved a hand for her to come closer.

Gaara opened his mouth to say something, but Rin shook her head at him and lowered herself to the girl's level. "Yes?"

The setting sun made the child's brown eyes glow, the curiosity in them fixing Rin where she was.

Hana was going to be a beauty when she grew up and by the sure look on her face, a force not to be trifled with.

"Do you like, Lord Fifth?"

The question was so direct, it caught her off guard and Rin gave a breathy. "I do."

Hana's gaze hardened. "Are you nice to him?"

Rin looked up at the face of the man she loved and back to the girl. "Yes. I certainly try to be."

Tiny hands came up to her face, holding her steady. "Do you love him?"

That was it, she was going to steal this child. Didn't matter if she had a family or a life, Rin was going to adopt her and feed her chocolates every day.

"Yes, very much so."

Hana smiled. "Good. If Lord Gaara likes you, then I like you too. Just don't be mean to him, okay?"

Rin nodded; her face gravely serious. "Yes, ma'am."

The small girl hugged Gaara's leg and skipped off, eager to tell her parents about the woman she met and the information she'd learned.

He held out a hand to let Rin up and squeezed her in his grasp. "There now. The day wasn't a total loss after all, was it?"

From deep within, a smile came to her face, as she watched the girl skip to her home. "No, I suppose it wasn't."

That was how it needed to go for them.

If one person, even someone as young as Hana, could approve of her, maybe the rest of the village would learn as well?

She just needed to keep trying.

As they climbed the stairs to the mansion, the warm sun dipping out of view, Rin held onto that hope, almost as tightly as the arm of the man beside her.


	63. A Fool for Love

The days went by almost as if a dream. Though Gaara had very little experience with such things, he could imagine the time spent as one long, wonderful vision.

All through the day, his mind drew back to images of Rin and blissful questions that followed.

What was she doing?

Was she having luck on her job search?

Was she thinking of him too?

That last one was always his favorite.

His mind turned back to their encounter this morning. Waking up in her arms, the feeling of her fingertips brushing his hair away from his face, the gentle, sweeping tones of the lullaby she always hummed to herself, all of it made his heart warm and long for the day to end, so he could be back in that heavenly place with her.

"Lord Fifth?"

"Yes, Tamari?"

"You're humming, sir."

Gaara looked up, surprised at such a statement. "Am I?"

"Yes."

"Oh... that's interesting."

The cool eyes of his captain swept over him with a critical air. "It's been happening on and off, lately."

"What's wrong with that, Temari? He's in a good mood. That's all." Kankuro interjected, quick to defend his bother's new found happiness.

The siblings stared each other down from across the room, their silent conversation harsh and biting.

Gaara held up a paper to block his face, but his voice rang with soft authority. "Something is bothering the two of you."

They didn't say a word; Kankuro looking down, Temari biting the inside of her cheek.

The Kazekage sighed, dropping his new found document and leaning back in his chair. "I can't hope for maximum productivity in the village, if my top captains are at war. What's going on?"

Neither said anything, but both crossed their arms in an almost spooky display of familiarity.

Gaara's eyes swept over one and then the other. "Come on, now. Out with it. What? Did Kankuro flirt with one of your soldiers, Tamari?"

"No." She grumbled, still not wanting to meet his attention.

"Alright, did our sister critique you too harshly, then? Kankuro, you know she's head of security for a reason, you should listen to her."

"You're right, Gaara, he should." Her last word was harsh and biting.

Kankuro scoffed. "I'd be happy to listen to her, if I felt like what she said would benefit everyone in this room."

"It does."

"Bull shit!"

The two captains were glaring at each other now and the intensity between them let Gaara know this wasn't some average spat.

He rose from his chairs, hands up and calming. "Let's keep things civil. What's the issue? Maybe I can help solve it?"

The silence returned and with it, the knowledge that whatever the problem was, involved more than they were saying.

His brow furrowed. "Is it something to do with me?"

Temari flinched and Kankuro looked away from her sharp expression.

Gaara leaned against his desk. "It is. Did I do something to offend you both?"

"No, you haven't done a single thing wrong! In fact, I think you should continue exactly how you're going, Gaara. Keep working well, keep humming, keep going on dates with Rin..."

Temari crossed the distance of the room and smacked her brother upside the head. "Idiot."

"Ouch! You know what, Temari, enough of this. We should just tell him what's upsetting you and save us all a lot of pain."

She wanted to throttle him. This inability to look towards the future and see past his emotions was enough to warrant an attack from her fan, but the voice that spoke, drew her out of her rage. It was so soft, it almost sounded like the voice that called out to her years ago, when he needed her help and she couldn't give it.

"Temari? What's wrong?"

She sighed, bracing herself for the news that would fall upon her brother like knives and that, once again, she would have to be the one to deliver it. Why couldn't she be happy and bright for once? Why couldn't she be the good guy, instead of the one who had to break him?

"There's a problem, Gaara."

"With what?"

"With Rin."

His muscles tightened. "What kind of problem? Is she safe? Have you heard something that I haven't?"

Temari's heart hurt at the look of worry on his face. He cared so much for this woman. "She's quite safe, as far as I know."

"Oh, well, that's good then. So, what's the problem, exactly?"

Her eyes turned to Kankuro, who gave her the face to say what she needed, quick and precise.

"You've grown quite attached to Ms. Ito, have you not? That goes without saying really."

The edges of Gaara's mouth curved up slightly. "You could say that."

"I do. It's become quite clear to everyone around you. The villagers have been buzzing about nothing else for days. Especially after you've been seen escorting her through the marketplace each night."

"And what are the villagers saying?"

Kankuro leaned against the wall, shrugging. "What they always do. They're afraid of change, but a few people are in favor of it."

"What's the percentage of that favor?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding his brother's gaze. "Um... it's rising steadily."

Gaara's expression sunk. "Rising from what and to what, exactly?"

"From zero to ten percent in favor."

He fell back into his chair and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Great. That's a wonderful display of support. Poor Rin."

Temari's head tilted to the side. "Poor Rin? Why is she your concern with this news?"

"She's been out trying to find a job in the village, something that will make her one of us and is already finding a lot of hostility. No one seems to be willing to look past her background. She must be feeling down. I should do something special for her tonight."

Kankuro's hand came to his chest and he looked at Temari with an expression that said. "Look! Isn't that the sweetest thing you've heard him say?!"

She met his face with a disheartened expression, her words turning to Gaara. "The villagers represent a realistic problem. Gaara... do you love this woman?"

"I do."

He said it with no hesitation, not even a scrap of doubt and that made his sister's heart bleed.

"Are you having... relations with her?"

The Kazekage's face flushed, his gaze turning any direction beyond the line of questioning meeting him. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

Temari's expression was calm and dethatched. "Normally, it wouldn't be and if you were any other man, I wouldn't dream of asking, but you're not. So, I repeat my question. Are you having relations with Ms. Ito."

"Yes."

"Then we need to have this conversation because you're clearly not thinking straight."

Kankuro squirmed under the weight of his upset. "This is weird, Temari. Don't you think he's already learned about the birds and the bees? I'm sure experience has been a much better teacher than you."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?!"

"Accidents happen!" She snapped.

Gaara's eyes widened and Kankuro was left, uncommonly speechless.

Temari composed herself and leaned against the wide desk. "Accidents happen... Gaara. Even if you're careful. Even if everything goes the way you want, it can happen. Think of the ramifications with eyes not blinded by love. What will happen if you produce an heir that isn't Sand-born? How will it affect the nations? How will it affect your seat as Kazekage? What is Rin to you? If she was just a passing infatuation, then I would hold my tongue, but she clearly isn't. You love her and I'd wager you've even had intentions of asking for her hand, haven't you?"

The silence fell thick in the room, all three siblings feeling the weight of the conversation.

Gaara broke it first and the vulnerability in his voice was enough to shake the last bit of her composure. "Am I not allowed to love, Temari?"

"Not when you are a fool for it."


	64. The Kazekage Has Spoken

"Not when you are a fool for it."

Temari's words lingered in the air like a poisonous cloud of reality. It suffocated the happiness in the room and in Gaara's heart.

The worst part of it all, was that she was right. As usual.

He leaned back in his chair and turned to look out the window.

The streets were full of happy people, all living their lives, completely unaware of anything beyond their present day. That happy ignorance was what he fought for. What the past generations of Kazekage put their lives on the line to protect.

He wasn't a normal man. No matter how he tried to pretend that he was, no matter what lies he told himself or fantasies he clung to, he wasn't free to do as he liked.

Kankuro glared at his sister. "That's too far, Temari. Apologize."

"No, she doesn't need to do that."

"What?"

Gaara sighed and it made him feel ages older than he was. "She's right. Nothing she said was out of line. I... I'm not a normal man. I'm not free to love however or whomever I want. Not if I want to strengthen the Sand. I've been lying to myself and worse, I've been lying to Rin. I've been giving her the promise of a life I can't keep."

Temari closed her eyes, hating the sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry, Gaara. I wish it were different."

Kankuro looked between his crestfallen siblings. "There isn't a way around this? Kage in other villages can marry how they like, why can't we?"

Gaara felt his father's eyes on him, his presence filling his mind. "Because the Sand holds tight to their own. It's why we're treated like royalty and not a democracy like the other villages. We come from a long line of Kazekage. Really, the seat should have fallen to you Kankuro or Temari. That's what everyone expected as the older two."

"We didn't want that seat and neither of us would have done half as well as you."

He gave a small smile. "Thank you. I've tried to put my people first in all things."

"But, must you do it now?"

Gaara's fingers tapped on the arms of the chair. "The council would never approve of the match."

"But why? Rin is working to become one of us, isn't she? Doesn't that give her sand status, at least?"

Temari crossed her arms. "It's better than nothing and she should be commended for continuing to try, despite the cold welcome she's received. However, even if she were Sand-born, Rin still wouldn't be an appropriate choice. She comes from nothing and holds no political backing to strengthen the village. In fact, the council could say her presence brought danger to our people."

"That wasn't her fault!"

"It doesn't matter. A danger was presented because of her and people were harmed. There really isn't anything in her corner to support her as a potential mate for Gaara."

Kankuro shook his head. "How can you be so calm about this? Are you really as cold as everyone believes? I know you're an ice queen to your troops, but I thought you'd at least be supportive of family! Don't you care about Gaara's happiness?"

Temari turned on her heel and fixed her brother with a face that let him see how much that comment hurt her. "Of course, I care! You think I like being the bad guy all the time? You think I don't want to join you and say that love should win because love wins? I hate the position I'm in right now. I have to be practical. I've been tasked with protecting the Kazekage and that means from himself sometimes. I hate what I'm saying right now. I hate it!"

Gaara stood up from his chair and walked over to his sister, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Temari..."

Her brow furled and despite herself, her bottom lip trembled, though she bit it back. "I'm sorry, Gaara. I wish I could..."

"I know."

Kankuro looked down, shame coloring his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

They stood in silence for a moment before Temari recovered her composure. "What will you do, Gaara?"

"Talk to Rin."

Both siblings looked to him, their faces wide and vulnerable. "What are you going to say? You're not leaving her, are you?"

"Never." Gaara walked back to his desk and picked up his neglected paperwork. "I have no intention of leaving the love of my life."

"Then, what will you do about everything else? What happens when the council starts pressuring you into a marriage of political gain?"

His face was an impassive mask. "Then I will remain single and the Kazekage line will die with me. They'll have to find another family to take our place."

"What? You can't do that.... can you?" Kankuro looked to Temari for confirmation and she shrugged.

Gaara signed off on a shipment of weaponry to the Cloud. "I'm not giving up Rin for anything. Even if it upsets my council or my village. If she chooses to stay beside me, wild horses won't tear us apart."

Temari worried her bottom lip. "What happens when they try to force you into it?"

Though he didn't move a muscle, the sand waiting dormant at his side came shooting out and shattered a potted plant in the far corner.

Kankuro ducked out of the way of a flying piece and smiled. "I think the Kazekage has spoken, Temari."

She looked at the mess of soil spilling onto the floor, a feeling of dread coursing through her veins. "Yes. It seems so."

Gaara picked up another document. "I'd like to be alone with my thoughts for the rest of the day."

They both bowed and left out the room, neither saying a word.

After the door closed, the Kazekage dropped his work and laced his fingers, resting his chin on them. "What am I going to say to her? How can I tell Rin we'll never be married or have a child together?"

His heart clenched in his chest.

She deserved to be a mother, if she saw fit. What right did he have to take that from her?

Gaara closed his eyes. "What will I do if she doesn't choose me?"

~~

Later that night, Gaara came to his room and hesitated outside the door. He'd skipped dinner, so had no sight of Rin all day.

That was for the best. It took him this long to try and come up with some way to tell her this information. Any less time and he wouldn't have found anything, even if what he'd decided on weren't much.

His hand found the door handle when a noise from the other side made him close his eyes, heart aching.

She was singing to herself.

These became his favorite things; coming home to her after a day away and sharing what they'd done apart, hearing her sweet voice, smelling jasmine on his sheets long after she left for the day.

He couldn't lose this happiness. Gaara knew he'd never recover from the wound of losing her.

With a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped inside.

Rin sat at the desk, lifting up various oils and smelling them. Beside her, a mortar and pestle waited. He remembered how cute she was when she asked him to make one for her out of sand.

She'd adapted so well to his life, leaving all her things back in the Sound. He felt guilty for it.

Gaara stepped closer to her, smiling at how focused she was to not have sensed his presence yet.

When his hands came to her shoulders, Rin startled and looked back at him, eyes wide with surprise. "Gaara! You scared me!"

"Apologies, my love."

"How long have you been there?"

"Not terribly long. What are you doing that requires so much attention?"

Rin smiled, holding up a new vial of amber-colored oil. "I've been experimenting."

"With what?"

"Herbs that grow well in the heat. I'd like to find a way to transplant my favorites here and have them survive, but in the meantime, I can start small where I am. Did you know that the water found in cactus makes an excellent skin cream and it helps with relaxation as well? I read about it, but never tried myself. Smell this!"

She rubbed some of the lotion she just mixed onto her wrist and held it up for him.

Gaara tenderly held her hand and inhaled the sweet, tangy scent. "Mm that does smell good."

Rin nodded. "I think so too! A few more combinations and I think I can actually have enough knowledge to set up a shop of my own. I'll call it 'Rin's Relaxation' what do you think?"

Her smile was as bright as the desert sun and it made his heart squeeze.

Gaara kissed the delicate wrist she'd presented him and pressed his face into her hand. "I think that's wonderful."

Rin's smile faded, concern melting into her eyes. "Gaara? Is something wrong?"

His breath was a heavy sigh, his expression darkening. "I just..."

"What?"

"I just love you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"If that's the case, why do you look so sad?"

He shook his head, unable to meet her eyes.

Rin stood up from her chair, taking out the pencil that held her hair clasped. "Come here."

Holding his hand in hers, she led him to the bed and sat down beside him.

Her arms secured one of his and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Tell me what's hurting you, love."


	65. Be My Wife

How could he tell her anything when she held onto him and spoke so sweetly? It was all Gaara could do to not settle her down on the bed and shower her with kisses, let alone discuss something upsetting. 

He'd never get anything done at this rate, not when Rin called to him so. 

"Tell me what's hurting you, love." She said again, nuzzling his shoulder. 

Gaara sighed. "Life isn't being fair."

"When is it ever?" 

He gave a small chuckle. "It does seem to have a knack for targeting us."

Rin released one hand from his arm and started rubbing it up and down his back. "Tell me why life is being unfair and I'll see if I can sort it out. Two heads are better than one."

Her touch filled him with comfort, but not enough to dull the ache in his heart. "I spoke with Temari today."

"Uh oh."

Gaara smirked. "What do you mean by that?"

Rin made a face at him. "Anytime you say you spoke to Temari and make that face; it means something's wrong and it's usually about me. What did I do this time? Spit in her wind?"

"Haha, no nothing like that."

His hands clasped themselves, tensing and relaxing in time with his racing heart. 

Temari's words circulated through his mind and his declaration of war against whomever wanted to part them, seemed like the statement of a different kind of man. 

Gaara changed when he entered this bedroom, Rin's softness calling to his insecurities. "It's no secret that we've been the subject of gossip among the villagers."

Rin's hadn't stopped rubbing Gaara's back, but her other hand went to his fidgeting grasp, quieting it. "That was to be expected though. You said it would be."

"Have you heard what they're saying?"

"No. I don't listen to them."

His gaze slid over her face and she rolled her eyes. "Alright, maybe I listen a little bit, but I don't hold it in, if that's what you're worried about?"

"What are they saying?"

Rin sighed. "What you'd expect. They don't trust me. I'm not one of them. They don't understand why you've taken a liking to me. Things like that."

"I'm sorry. That must be painful to hear all the time."

She shrugged. "There are worse things than petty gossip and it's not all bad. There's a few people who've started to reach out."

"Oh?"

Rin smiled and scooted back on the bed, pulling Gaara down so that he was resting his head on her lap. "Mm hm, I think a certain little flower girl is to be commended for that. The children seem to want to know me more than their parents. I've acquired a little fan club lately."

He closed his eyes, picturing the children surrounding Rin. "That makes me glad to hear. My hope is the next generation will be more tolerant than their relatives. I'd like to open the gates to friendship with the other villages."

"Well, you're certainly setting a fine example. The Kazekage of the Sand falling in love with a nobody from the Sound. My, my, what a scandal." She said with a laugh and a dramatic flick of her wrist. 

Gaara didn't laugh at all. He grabbed Rin's hand and held it firmly. "Don't say that!"

She stopped mid-laugh and focused on the strong grip holding her. "Gaara?"

"Don't say you're a nobody again. Never say that."

The sand was circulating around their grasp in a light trail, but between its emergence and the intensity in her lover's voice, Rin knew she'd crossed a barrier, even if she wasn't sure why. Her voice softened, one hand coming to rest on his forehead, brushing his hair back. "Alright. I won't say it again."

"Good."

"But, why is this so important to you? I was being mostly sarcastic."

His jaw tightened. "Because it doesn't matter to me where you came from or what your past is. It doesn't matter that you don't have political standing, you'll never be a nobody to me. You're so much more important than a title."

Rin smiled, but remained confused. "I'm glad to hear that. Gaara, what's this all about? Just talk to me and call off your sand. I'm getting unnecessary exfoliation."

He focused on the trail of red skin his upset summoned. "Oh, I'm sorry. Here." 

With no effort at all, he retracted the sand and raised her hand to his lips, soothing the agitation from it.

She scratched her nails along his scalp. "It's fine. Just one of the many interesting things about being in love with the Kazekage."

Gaara groaned holding his hand over his eyes. "That's just the problem. I'm the Kazekage."

"Uh huh."

"I wish..."

"What?"

"I... I wish..."

"Gaara. Just spit it out."

His words came out rapid fire, an outpouring of the frustration that had been building since this morning. "I wish I wasn't! If I wasn't the Kazekage, I wouldn't have to play by the stupid rules that come with it! I could go anywhere I wanted. Be anything I wanted."

"You can do that now."

"I can't! I may have the power to rule my village and the responsibility of their livelihoods, but I don't have freedom. I never have. I can't do the things I really want. I hate it. I hate it so much."

Rin shook her head. "That's not true."

"What?"

Her scratching fingers rested on the top of his head; her other hand resting above his heart. "You don't hate being the Kazekage. I've seen you, Gaara. I notice everything about you. When you're walking through the marketplace, when you're protecting your people, even when you're doing paperwork at your desk, there's a peace to your expression. A pride in your stance. You weren't just born into this life; you chose it and it means something to you."

He closed his eyes. "Yes but..."

"You were given so much sadness, my love. Anyone else would have crumbled beneath it, but you didn't. You chose to take hold of your life. You became the leader of the very people who scorned you and it's a responsibility you value above everything else. You don't just enjoy being the Kazekage, you love it, more than you've loved anything else in life."

Gaara took hold of the hand on top of his head and brought it down to his lips. "There's one thing I love more than being Kazekage."

Rin smiled. "So, why the sudden identity crisis?"

He kissed her elegant fingers. "Temari brought up a fact this morning, that I've been pretending to ignore for weeks. I've been so happy with how things are going, that I pushed it to the back of my mind. However, it's becoming clear that I can't maintain that ignorance anymore."

"What is it?"

"A foolish, ridiculous notion I can't escape."

"Sounds serious."

Gaara sighed. "She made it clear that our relationship has gone public and because of that, the villagers and members of my council are rebelling against us. Even though you've been working so hard to become a part of my people, the fact that you hold no political standing or nobility ensures that I can't ask you for your hand in marriage."

Rin's jaw dropped slightly, her hand sliding away from his grasp. 

Gaara continued his venting, mouth curving into a snarl. "Of all the ridiculous, outdated notions the Sand clings to, this is by far the worst! This xenophobic mentality needs to come to an end. They don't get to decide whom I love or marry or anything else."

"Gaara..." Her voice was broken.

He sat up, studying Rin's expression and the tears that came to her eyes, unleashed a panic in his chest. 

His hands came to cradle her face. "Oh... oh no. Rin, don't cry! Please don't cry. Don't worry, I'm not going to listen to them. I'll give up my seat as Kage if that's what it means to be with you. I value you so much more than any stupid law or proclamation. So, please, don't cry because of what the villagers say. They'll come to love you the way I love you, you'll see and I'll talk with the council."

"That's not why I'm crying."

His thumbs brushed away the tears that flowed freely now. "What is it then? Are you worried about me? Don't be. It's alright. I'll find a way. Or... is it because.... you're disappointed in me?"

"What?"

His eyes turned down, the continual voice of doubt that told him he wasn't good enough, taking his voice and darkening it. "If you stay with me, it's very likely we can't have a child together. Our child would never be recognized by the village. Both you and it would be scorned. I'd understand if you don't want that life. If you want to go back to the Sound and fall in love with someone else. Really, it's okay. I'll be sad, but I'd understand. I won't stand in the way of your happiness."

"That's not it either, dummy!"

"Then what is it?! Tell me why you're crying!"

Rin leaned forward and gave him a small, loving kiss, which froze him mid-upset. 

"You want to marry me."

Gaara's eyes opened. "What?"

Her hand came to her heart, the smile tearful, but real. "You said you wanted to marry me."

"I do."

"I was hoping you would."

All at once, the walls he'd built up in frustration and chaos crumbled away. Gaara took Rin in his arms and held her tight, kissing along her face. "I want to marry you, Rin. I want you to stay by my side."

"I want that too. I never thought anyone would marry me."

"Me either."

They laughed at their shared trauma, the only thing they could really do anymore. Gaara rested his head against Rin's. "We're a mess, Rin."

"Yes. I'd say that's true, but we're a mess together, aren't we?"

"Indeed."

She took hold of his arm and pulled him down to lay beside her, snuggling close to him. "So, that stuffy old council doesn't want me to be on their team? I can't imagine why."

Gaara laughed. "You can't? Not even a little?"

Rin smiled a mischievous, Cheshire grin. "Nope. I'm an angel. You said so yourself."

His fingers played with the edges of her hair, twirling a strand around. "To me, yes. To the council, you're a demon straight from Hell."

"That's just rude."

"Says the woman, who hasn't had a single interaction with them, that hasn't ended in a snarky comment and a dramatic exit."

"Well..."

"Who has made it her personal mission to call them out whenever they say something she doesn't agree with."

"Um..."

"And, has also seen fit to not only disagree, but blatantly insult them and their competency to their faces."

Rin stared Gaara down, her lips coming to a pout. "I'm not apologizing."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I wouldn't expect you to. However, if I'm going to approach the idea of changing a rule that's been around for generations, giving up the need to provoke them, may just work in our benefit."

"Maybe."

Rin's hands curled around his shoulder blades, pressing her body against his.

Gaara inhaled the sweet scent of jasmine in her hair. "I'll find a way to make this work, my angel. Don't worry. Someday, I will stand proudly before the village and I'll introduce you not as Rin of the Sound, but as the Lady Kazekage; my wife."


	66. A Shadow of Happiness

The mirror was an enemy; a cold, unfeeling, cruel enemy.

A constant reminder of what was and what she'd become. Traces of youth begging to break free from the wrinkled shell cracked with worry and responsibility.

The face of a woman who'd lived through hardship.

"Still sitting there? The sun has already risen over the village and there you are, preening again. Don't you have more important things to do? Something for the Kazekage, perhaps?"

"Yes."

"Well, get to it, then."

Her husband clipped the cuffs of his sleeves, straightening his jacket, without so much as a look spared her way.

"Jin..."

"What?"

She turned on the vanity seat and beseeched him. "Do you remember the beauty I was? Even now?"

He sighed.

Though she knew such a question was never going to be met with the answer she needed, the foolish part of her heart forced it out anyway.

In her mind's eye, she saw her husband stepping close and taking her face in his hands, telling her how she hadn't changed from the young woman he knew and how lovely he still found her; kindness in his features, warmth in his voice.

Reality blinded her.

Jin gave a quick once over and turned away. "That implies you were a beauty to start with. I can't see you as something you never were. Why are you asking such foolish questions today? It's beneath you."

She nodded focusing her eyes on the ground, so he couldn't see the pain in them.

Never would she let him see the weakness that threatened to leak out from her long-fractured heart.

It shouldn't surprise her after forty years of marriage, that he wasn't a kind man. He didn't know warmth or love and she should stop expecting that of him. It only led to heartbreak.

Her mother said as much on the day of her wedding.

"Don't expect him to love you right away. It takes time."

"But, why can't I marry who I choose, Mother? I'm not royalty or anything and there is Ka..."

A harsh slap greeted her.

Mother's stone face was enough to silence her. "I don't ever want to hear you mention that boy's name again. Kafu almost destroyed everything. Thank the heavens your father caught you before you managed to run off with him. Our family would never recover from the shame."

She nodded, fresh pinpricks of blood rising to her cheek. "Yes, Mother."

Mother sighed and placed her veil on her only daughter's head. "You're the shining hope of the Fuma clan. I couldn't give your father a son and we barely squeaked by with you. Now isn't the time to get cold feet. I know arranged marriages seem unfair, but you'll see that duty outweighs affection. Anything else is selfish."

"Yes, Mother."

"Good, your groom is waiting at the altar. Let's go now."

"Yes, Mother."

She didn't remember much after that.

The music was a distant roar in her ears, the white train she walked on, completely clean of dirt or sand, an impressive feat considering where they lived.

She didn't hear or feel anything, until the man, who would be her husband, took her hand into his. 

It was a cold hand, elegant and free of callouses.

The kind of hand that belonged to someone high up on the social ladder.

Her heart longed for the rough grasp of Kafu, how it felt when he pulled her hair back and fastened a flower into it. The same one she snuck into her hair now.

The preist droned on and on about blessing their coupling, starting their life as one unit, bringing the clans together; a happy, happy day.

She couldn't bring herself to care even if she tried. This wasn't a happy day. It was the end of everything.

"Hello."

The voice made her jump and she subtly turned her eyes to the man beside her. "Hello."

"My name is Jin."

She nodded. She'd heard that much from the various meetings her father took.

"What's yours?"

He waited for her reply, but when she didn't give it, the hand that was holding hers squeezed a bit tighter. "I expect you'll know basic etiquette. I can't have a wife who will embarrass my clan in front of the Sand. You know your protocols, yes?"

"Yes."

Jin nodded and looked back up at the priest, who continued on as if they weren't having a whispered conversation right in front of him.

"Then tell me the name of the woman who will be my wife."

The bride swallowed, feeling the world drop out from under her, even as a petal from her lover's flower fell to floor.

"Kaba."

~~~

The woman in the mirror winced at the memory.

Jin never came to love her the way Mother promised. He did all the things a husband should; provided a lovely home, food on the table, a higher place in court for her and her family.

He gave her the world, but never his heart. That was reserved for the mistress they both knew about, but neither spoke of.

Kaba thought of Kafu at the most inopportune times, like now, when her lips were cold and untouched, her hands lonely.

He tried to contact her for years, but she forced him away.

It was perfectly acceptable for her husband to save his heart the woman he truly loved, but if they ever found out Kaba shared affections with another man, she would be punished.... he would be killed.

She'd have thrown herself off one of the walls if she were the cause of his end.

"When will you be home tonight, wife?"

Kaba sighed. "Late. The Kazekage has called a meeting of the council. He says it's a matter of great importance that will require much discussion."

Jin nodded and put his hands on her shoulders, but not in the loving way she'd always imagined.

It was the act of centering and directing her, not support.

He did the same thing when she gave birth to their sons. Never a scrap of affection, just a partner to guide her through her process. 

"Good, ensure whatever decision he makes, supports the Sand and our clan. Prove yourself worthy of your seat on that council, Kaba. Don't disappoint me."

"Yes, Jin."

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow."

He started to leave and her gaze flickered into the mirror to watch him go. "You're not coming home tonight?"

"No."

Kaba's stubborn heart clenched in her chest. "Ah yes, how silly of me. It's her birthday, isn't it? Make sure you bring her a rose. Women like roses."

Jin glanced to the vase that waited in the windowsill and plucked out a single red rose. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Tomorrow, then."

He left out the door and it took everything she had not to collapse into the tears that begged to be released from years of stolen affection.

Kaba stared at her face once more, the welling eyes, the quivering lip and took a deep, calming breath.

She wouldn't fall to any man, especially not the one who only slept at her side on the nights his heart didn't crave someone else.

She'd made herself useful to the clan, working her way up from secretary to clerk to councilwoman.

Kaba was a force not to be trifled with.

In a world, where all her decisions were made for her, she'd hold dominion over this one.

Her thoughts echoed in each step she took, leading her to the familiar room, where familiar men waited.

Their eyes turned towards her. "Ah, Kaba. Lovely to see you. Do you know why the Kazekage has summoned a council meeting like this?"

"No. I do not."

They all looked at each other and then back at her. "It must be a serious matter, especially if you don't know about it."

"Yes, he's been full of serious matters lately, hasn't he?" She glided over to take her spot at the table and the men followed her example.

Good, she liked when they followed her. Though she wasn't sure of when it happened, somewhere along the line, she'd become the highest-ranking member, other that the Kazekage himself.

Everyone looked to her for guidance and she liked it that way.

This was the place she was respected. This was the place she was valued and no one would take that honor from her.

The door opened and the young Kazekage walked in, his hand enclosed with the impudent woman from the Sound, who stood proudly beside him.

"Fair council, thank you for assembling on such short notice."

They all looked to the joined hands and gave small nods of acknowledgement.

"Lord Fifth, what is the meaning of your inquiry today?" Kaba spoke, trying to keep the panic out of her voice at the sight before her.

The Kazekage looked to the woman at his side and back at his council. "I'd like to discuss a very important matter to Rin Ito and myself."

Her heart sank, a cold sweat coming to the back of her neck. "And what matter would that be?"

Lord Gaara pulled Ms. Ito closer, his face calm and collected. "Our marriage."

The sound of broken glass resonated in her mind. The face of her husband telling her not to fail him, the respect she clung to, the position that ensured her place in this world, all of it stood on the brink of destruction and that girl was to blame.

Rin Ito looked from his face to Kaba and held her eye contact.

The battle of wills was about to begin.


	67. The Tale of Two Women

Rin didn't care for this room, in fact, it wouldn't be too bold to say she didn't like it at all.

Her eyes trailed from one weathered face to the next, each on edge around her and every single one staring at the joined hands that held her fast to Gaara's side.

Their faces looked at her like she was something dirty; a rat that found her way into the palace hall and the cat was the woman who sat in the middle of them, staring her down.

She hated this room.

"Your marriage, Lord Kazekage?"

"OUR marriage." He corrected, sending a small smile to Rin's face.

The councilwoman face hardened.

Rin couldn't remember the names of any other members, but she knew this one.

Kaba, the woman who had been against her from the first day she arrived, who hadn't found a single accomplishment in her stance or her methods.

It was always wise to know the name of your enemy.

"Lord Fifth..."

"Yes?"

"You can't."

"I can't, what, exactly?"

An angry red filled the woman's face, as she gripped the arms of her chair. "You can't be serious! You intend to take a woman of the Sound as your bride? A woman with no political standing, no familial ties to the Sand, no prospect and no value?"

Gaara's hand tightened on his lover. "She has value. More than will ever know."

The councilmembers whispered amongst themselves, one of the men on the right speaking up. "What value is that, Lord Kazekage? Is there a connection we haven't been made aware of? Something that would prove beneficial from this match?"

Rin felt her stomach drop.

If they had any idea what connections she had, it would make her even less desirable than she already was, if such a thing were possible. No one besides Gaara knew about her origins and she wanted to keep it that way.

She was impressed by his calm. The only time he showed a crack in his composure was when they insulted her and she wasn't sure if anyone would notice that besides her.

"While it's true that Ms. Ito possesses no advantages to our village in the traditional fashion, she does provide something no other person in this world can do, something far more valuable."

"What is that?"

He turned to look at her, the proud smile on his face, sending a shiver of pleasure down her spine.

"She loves me for me."

Rin pulled closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, somewhat hiding her embarrassed face.

Kaba watched the interaction, feeling like an animal was burrowing its way into her abdomen.

Every move they made, the small, private exchanges that spoke volumes without a word, the way he'd moved himself to stand ever so slightly in front of her when she was disparaged, filled her with a rage she thought long forgotten.

"As sweet as that sentiment may be, it's unacceptable. We aren't trading in emotions; we're dealing with real world consequences. Have you stopped to consider them, Lord Kazekage? What ramifications will fall if you choose this woman?"

Rin bit the inside of her cheek.

Temari's words were nearly identical to this woman's and the tone to match. The similarity was almost eerie.

The thought suddenly dawned on her and she looked at her lover with new eyes.

He was standing firm, trying to keep a calm face, despite his happiness being questioned. It felt like this wasn't a new occurrence for him and the way he was scanning their faces confirmed her inner questioning.

Who raised them when their parents passed?

She'd heard of the former Kazekage's distain for his son and his mother's untimely passing when he was a newborn. Who stepped in to guide the Sand siblings?

Tutors and servants, possibly, perhaps a trusted nanny or two, but by the rage on the old woman's face, her answer was clear.

Kaba had been as much of a parent to Gaara as his anyone else.

"Of course, I've thought about consequences. I'm not a child."

"Then stop playing house and run your village, Lord Kazekage. You can't afford to entertain such fantasies about marrying for anything less than what will benefit your people. That's the sacrifice you agreed to make when you took on your father's mantle and his father before that."

Gaara's muscles went rigid and he was about to open his mouth to contest her point, when Rin, as usual, did something surprising.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled out from his protection.

Facing the council, as she had twice before, each with a less-than-favorable result, Rin stood before them.

Their gaze stayed fixed on her movements, making her feel as if she were some dangerous snake that slithered into their midst. Funny how she could transform from a rat to something more deadly, depending on where she stood.

They knew the venom in her tongue and their wounds still stung.

Rin took a deep breath and bowed at the waist. "Fair council, I request to speak on my own behalf, apart from the Kazekage."

All eyes turned to Kaba, regarding her decision.

The councilwoman sat rod-straight, the ends of her fingers white and clutched. "I seem to recall you have a habit of speaking regardless of our permission, Ms. Ito. Why the sudden act of civility now? Surely an attempt to make you seem more suitable in our midst, but I can see it's nothing more."

She's got me there, clever old bat. Rin swallowed the thought and spoke calmly. "I acknowledge our past conflicts."

"Do you? Well, then, aren't we lucky? You seem to have a memory to go along with your insolence."

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"I assure you, any disrespect you've met in the past, was due to my own feelings of malcontent from this council. You judged me the moment I set foot in this room, just as I judged you."

There were a few shared glances between members, but no one spoke to deny her claim.

Rin nodded. "Yes, we've judged each other... harshly. You heard the name of my village and assumed I was an assassin. I heard the Sand was nothing, but a collection of harsh, hostile people, who didn't welcome anyone outside their own kind. Glad to see we were both incorrect, weren't we?"

There were a few whispers at her claim, but they let her be.

Kaba didn't take her attention off the intruder into her small kingdom for one second. "What is it you want to say, Ms. Ito? This council's time is precious."

As if mine isn't?

Rin centered herself, biting back the quips that came so easily whenever she was in this kind of situation. She needed to be calm now, mature and composed. Gaara's happiness depended on her reigning her temper in.

She took a step closer and held out her hands, palms up, addressing each of the council members with her claims. "I know what you see when you look at me. You see danger. You see suspicion. You see rubbish."

Her eyes held Kaba's. "And you see fear."

There was a sharp intake of breath and the murmur of whispers.

Gaara gave a small clearing of this throat.

Careful, Rin. Careful.

"What do you think I'm afraid of, Ms. Ito?"

She swallowed the anxiety in the back of her tongue "Me."

The whispers transformed into full blown chaos, all voices speaking their outrage at her claim.

Gaara moved to stand in front of Rin, but she held up a hand to stop him and he complied; an action that didn't go unnoticed by the councilwoman.

"So much for your claims of respect between us."

Rin shook her head, still holding her hands up for them to see. "I say that with the utmost respect, councilwoman. I know you're afraid of me, but not for the reasons the others may think."

She lowered her arms, slow and purposeful. "You're afraid of all the things you've mentioned before; power struggles, unrest in the nations, the people's low opinion of me and those are all valid, however, there is something else, something far more personal."

"And what is that?"

Rin's face softened, her eyes catching Kaba's. "You're afraid I'm not good enough for Gaara."

"The Kazekage."

"No, Gaara, himself."

The room was silent. All eyes fixing on the elder woman, who had gone disturbingly still.

Rin looked back at the love of her life, who was also a statue in the room. She had a talent for surprising the life out of him.

Kaba's voice was low and dangerous. "Explain. Your. Words."

Rin swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke softly, approaching the council members so close that only the table separated them.

Her eyes stayed on the old woman, faded grey matching her gentle expression. "You care about him, don't you? More so than a council or even a villager would for their Kazekage. I know it was unheard of for such a young shinobi to take on the title. Even we in the Sound were shocked when we learned of Gaara's ascension. There had to be talk in the Sand, great bouts of unrest and upheaval at such a notion."

Kaba's mind flashed back to the days spent arguing about it in this very room.

The voices that screamed against his age and his past ringing louder than most.

Rin nodded. "He couldn't have done it without the council's permission and the head of that council is you. It took a strong woman to raise the kind of man Gaara is, the kind of warriors his siblings are. You were that strong woman, weren't you?"

The words crackled through the air like lightning.

They were bold, they were dangerous.... they were true.

Kaba's eyes left Rin's captivating gaze and rested on the young man standing behind her. He'd grown so much.

What she felt for Gaara, wasn't maternal affection, Kaba didn't have it in her, even her own sons had to prove themselves worthy. Their clan demanded such from a young age.

She wasn't a warm woman, but she could have been, in another life.

She was proud of him. That much she knew.

The council was interwoven in the lives of the Kazekage family, each member called to excel for the Sand and to be guided in their roles in doing so.

Kaba remembered the lessons she taught to the three siblings; Temari's rapt attention, Kankuro's day dreaming, Gaara's fury in the back of the room. Even then, she knew he could kill her as easily as if he were swatting a fly, but he didn't.

No matter how she scolded or expected better of him, the young lord never gave her as much as a spared glance and a muttered response.

Rin's voice drew her out of her memory. "What was Gaara's mother like and what 'value' did she hold that you're afraid I'll replace?"


	68. Fire

"What was Gaara's mother like?"

The question was so simple, but carried the weight of the world behind it.

Kaba's mouth felt like cotton, the sting of memories clinging to her words and rendering them useless.

This girl, this impudent, feisty, unmannered girl stood before her with eyes that demanded answers no one else would ask.

She'd seen such eyes before.

~~

"Kaba!" the voice echoed through the halls of the library, releasing a sharp crack of shushing from the occupants.

"Hush, child, think of where you are." Kaba scolded, as the young girl bounded up to her, sliding to a stop on the stone floor.

"Oops! Sorry!"

Shhh!

"Sorry..." She whispered.

Disturbed readers turned back to their work and the councilwoman sighed. "Lady Kurura, what brings you and your unnecessarily loud voice here? Weren't you supposed to be in training today?"

Kurura laced her hands behind her back. "The training is going on now."

"And you're not in it, why?"

She gave an impish smile. "Who says I'm not?"

Kaba closed the history book and gave her charge a hard look. "Sand clones are not meant to be used for such things, Lady Kurura. You're being disrespectful to your tutor."

The young teen rolled her eyes. "She won't even know I'm gone and it's not like I haven't memorized the lesson. How many times do I need to go over tea etiquette before they teach me anything important to my future role?"

"When you realize how even tea is vitally important for negotiations."

"Say what now?"

Kaba slid the book she was previously reading back on the shelf and pulled another out, setting it on the desk with more exasperation than necessary. "Lady Kurura, why can't you understand the position you're in? You have been selected, amongst three other young ladies, to volley for the position of the Kazekage's bride. The single greatest honor a woman of our village can accomplish, but you treat it as if the entire thing is a bore to you."

Kurura shrugged. "I don't think it's the greatest honor a woman can have, though."

"What could be greater?"

Her smile went from impish to sweet. "Councilwoman."

Kaba's breath caught in her chest. "Flattery won't save you from this lecture, my Lady."

"I'm not trying to flatter you. I think what you're doing is far more impressive than being a wife of some stuffy Kazekage. Look at what you're doing now!"

The older woman looked at the book in her hands. "Reading."

"Yes! Reading! You're reading about the history of the Sand's exports, correct?"

"Indeed."

"Shouldn't I know about that, if I'm going to be standing by his side? How is tea more important than the knowledge of how our village survives?"

Kaba settled herself down in the waiting chair, Kurura hovering over her shoulder. "Because there is more than what meets the eye. Stop lingering about like that, it's unladylike."

Kurura sat on the other side of the table, arms crossed and pouting. "If I'm that important, shouldn't you hesitate to scold me all the time?"

Despite herself, Kaba cracked a smile at her tone. "No one escapes my scolding, not even my niece."

Kurura's eyes brightened, it wasn't often she acknowledged their connection outside of family gatherings.

The one time she tried to call her "auntie" in public, was met by a punishment of wall sits for two hours, as a reminder of where she sat in society by blood, whereas her aunt sat by marriage.

She didn't care about positions or powers, Kurura admired the tenacity of her working family and a few moments with Kaba felt more real than the hours spent in her studies at home.

Her chin rested in her hand. "Alright then, educate me on why tea is important over exports?"

Kaba licked her fingers and opened the frayed pages of the book, seeming to read while talking at the same time. "Tell me, Kurura, how have your tutors told you to hold your cup?"

"One hand grasping the body, the other holding the bottom."

"Do you know why?"

Kurura looked at her hands and made a sipping motion. "So, I don't spill?"

"That's right. Why is it important for you not to spill your tea?"

"Because death before dishonor and spilt tea leaves?"

Kaba bit back her laugh. Kurara's tutor must be beside herself. "Because, even in that small gesture, you prove your strength."

"My strength?"

The Councilwoman's eyes met her niece. "When you become the bride of the Kazekage, you will be expected to save face with each and every interaction you meet. No conversation will be passing. Everyone will look to you to gauge how the village is thriving. The clothes you wear, the way you hold your head, your tone of voice, even the way you drink your tea, will be direct correlation with the royal family. The Kazekage may be the rock of this village, but you are the stream."

"The stream?"

"You will cool his anger, soothe his harsh decisions made from emotion over logic, become that refreshing spot in the midst of his thirst. In the history of mankind, it is women who run nations. Don't you ever forget that Kurura."

The young woman's jaw dropped, her eyes sinking down to her hands, which shook beneath the weight of her aunt's words. "Will I be worthy of that responsibility?"

Kaba looked behind her shoulder, before reaching a hand forward to rest on her niece's trembling grasp. "Don't fret, my dear. You will not only surpass your competition at the Cleansing, you will lead this village to an even stronger place with your head held high. Calm yourself, Kurura, you are made of fire and nothing can make fire feel afraid."

~~

"Councilwoman?" The voices to her right pulled Kaba from her memory.

When her eyes focused on the expecting gaze before her, it took every ounce of her strength to hold back the tears that threatened to spill her vision.

"Lady Kurura was exceptional. She carried the weight of this village and its people until her dying moment. Even then...she still showed strength."

Rin nodded, turning to give a small smile to Gaara. "I have no doubt of that. Exceptional people pass along their strength to others."

Kaba remained fixed to her spot. "Quite."

There were a few murmurs when the Sound girl addressed the council once more. "I know you feel as though we're at a crossroads and for all intents and purposes, we are. Your Kazekage is attempting to change what has always been done. That's going to feel uncomfortable. I understand that feeling, but, haven't all great things come from discomfort? Isn't that how progress happens?"

One of the braver men cleared his throat. "If you understand this, what is your solution, then?"

Rin smiled. "I'm not the one who makes decisions here, am I?"

All eyes went to Kaba, who remained fixed to her spot. "No, you're not."

She bowed her head and waited. "Then, what will we do, Councilwoman?"

Gaara watched the deliberation on the old woman's face with keen interest. This wasn't how he expected the conversation to go, but then again, when did Rin ever do anything he expected?

He took the silence to step forward and place his hand on his lover's shoulder. "My council, you have advised me well..."

His eyes turned to Kaba. "All of my life. I'm grateful for your help and just because I make this decision on my own, does not mean I won't find need for further assistance or wisdom."

Gaara's words faded into the background as both Rin and Kaba stared each other down, their eyes saying what the others couldn't hear.

"I don't want to let him go."

"Neither do I."

"I'm afraid you'll hurt him."

"I won't."

"Prove it."

"Try me."

Through the inputs exchanged back and forth between Gaara and the councilmembers, everyone went still when Kaba stood from her seat and addressed them. "Lord Fifth, it's clear you mean to give up everything for this woman. I'd venture to say, you would give up your seat if we pushed you to do it, is that true?"

Gaara's hand squeezed Rin's shoulder. "It is."

There were audible gasps from the men surrounding her, but Kaba remained calm. "This council does not recognize Ms. Ito's eligibility."

He opened his mouth to protest until Rin tapped his side her other hand. "Wait."

The Councilwoman took a breath. "We don't acknowledge it... yet."

No one said a word, everyone remained glued to their seats, waiting to see what the clever old woman came up with.

She straightened her back, her faded grey eyes assessing Rin as she spoke. "As with any noble woman selected to be the bride of the Kazekage, you will undergo tests to prove your worthiness. If Ms. Ito is able to prove to this council that she is qualified to stand beside Lord Fifth in his duties, we will give our permission for the two of them to be married."

"Permission?" Rin asked with an upturned eyebrow.

Kaba bit her inner cheek. "Blessing, then."

Rin smiled and nodded. "What test will I have to perform?"

It was Kaba's turn to smile. "The annual Cleansing is approaching. You will attend."

Gaara stiffened and the councilmembers whispered to each other.

Rin studied their faces, uncertain of what the upset was. "I have to attend an event? Doesn't seem so difficult."

Gaara's hand pulled her closer. "It's not just an event, Rin. It's a meeting of all the noble families from the villages in the Land of Wind. We come together to bring forth rain once a year for the desert. It's tradition to have the families decide which daughters will be chosen for the village heads at the ceremony based upon various tasks they've completed during the day, including knowledge of history, etiquette, debate and grace."

"Well that last part just sounds sexist."

His voice was harsh in her ear. "It is, but that's not the point. You will have to perform all these qualities in front of the village heads and have them acknowledge your proficiency as my mate."

"How long do I have to do this?"

His whisper turned into a growl. "The Cleansing is in three weeks."

Her eyes turned to Kaba, who stood like a cat with a mouse in her sights. "Do you accept this challenge, Ms. Ito? No one would blame you if you were to wait another year, though, the noble families may not hold the Kazekage to such a timeline."

"I accept."

Kaba scoffed. "You do realize, the other contestants have been studying for this day, their entire lives, don't you?"

"I accept."

"You can't possibly expect to learn our entire way of life in three weeks. That's just..."

Rin's mouth set into a hard line, her hands coming to the table so that she was staring the old woman down. "I. Accept."

"Done."

The girl from the Sound turned on her heel, dragging the Kazekage of the Sand out with her and Kaba fell into her seat.

The man to her side let out a big breath. "These meetings are going to take the life from me! Just what are you playing with here, Kaba?"

Despite herself and the shred of calm she clung to; the old woman cracked a smile. "Fire, Councilman. Pure fire."


	69. Plan of Action

"Three weeks... the number after two and before four... Three." Rin muttered to herself, as she made her way down the elaborate halls of the Kazekage's mansion, with said Kazekage bringing up the rear.

"Rin." He started, but she didn't stop her relentless pace, either not hearing him or completely ignoring his interruption of her processing.

"If I make a schedule, I should be able to fit everything in at once. It will be difficult, but not impossible." Her murmuring voice continued.

"Rin, wait, please." Gaara spoke again, dipping his head to a passing maid that Rin completely brushed away in her mad stride.

His steps pulled to the front, blocking her in her tracks before she could cause any more damage to the people around her. "Rin, stop and let's talk about what just happened in there."

Her eyes darted to the side, index finger coming to her chin. "No time to talk. Need to strategize."

Gaara grunted and took hold of her hand. "We are going to talk right now."

Without waiting for her protest, the Kazekage dragged his mumbling lover through the remaining halls and up to their shared bedroom, the place where she'd assured him of their success earlier that day.

Amazing how life could throw them into complete chaos in nothing but a few hours.

The minute the door closed and he released his grip, Rin set about to pacing once again. "I already have a grasp of basic etiquette, it was required for my various interactions in the past, so that shouldn't be too grueling. History will take a good amount of focus though. Perhaps if I take my meals in the library, I can work in shifts?"

Gaara's eyes trailed along her muttering form, unsure of how he should intervene. "Rin, please."

"I study best at night, so if I can move customs to the morning, I'll probably have a better chance of retaining that information."

"Rin!"

Suddenly he was in front of her, his arms and sand enclosing her in an inescapable cage.

As if seeing him for the first time, Rin looked up to his worried expression. "What?"

"Slow down. Talk to me."

"I don't have time to talk. Didn't you hear what she said? I have three weeks to gain an entire knowledge of Sand customs or they'll never approve me to be your wife."

"Of course, I heard, I was standing right next to you, remember?"

She looked down, still assessing her options. "Mm hm."

Gaara's hands tightened on her upper arms, forcing her attention back on him. "I don't think you've fully processed what's happening."

"I don't think you've fully processed me."

"That doesn't even make any sense. You're talking crazy."

Her eyes found him then, bright and angry, leaving Gaara to regret his choice of words.

"I'm what?"

He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I mean you look a little manic right now. What is it you're always telling me to do when the world is crashing around me?"

Rin bit the inside of her cheek. "Take a breath."

"Take a breath, yes. So..."

She made a face at him, before inhaling deep the scent of earth from his sand and the musk of his coat. "I'm breathing."

"Good. Again."

Rin's rising irritation threatened to overtake her. Though she wouldn't stand a chance against the Kazekage, it might make her feel better to give him a good thrashing for taking up her precious planning time.

Her lungs expanded and exhaled the breath that, despite her annoyance, did feel better.

"Calm down."

"I am calm!" She barked and Gaara's brow furled.

Rin sighed, lowering her voice. "I am calm. Thank you, Gaara."

He nodded, resting his forehead against hers.

The sand around them blocked out the light, leaving only the faintest outline of her lover's face.

Even if it were complete darkness, Rin would know the cut of his jaw, the high tilt of his cheek bones, the way his eyes studied her.

She didn't need to look to know they were concerned and she couldn't blame him for that. Once again, her arrogance had risen up to bite them in the back, though to be fair, it was really the old bat on the council who trapped her this time.

Kaba's words flittered on the edges of her mind, twisting her stomach in anxious knots. "You will attend the Cleansing and demonstrate if you are able to support the Kazekage's duties. Only then, will the council approve of your request to be at his side."

"Three weeks." Rin said softly, her words dying in the shell of sand surrounding them.

"Three weeks." He repeated.

She clenched her fists, but kept her voice steady. "Gaara, can you lower your sand, please? I feel claustrophobic."

"Oh, right."

He closed his eyes, letting the sand fall around them and retreat back to its home, while Rin raised her hands to rest on his. "Thank you."

Gaara squeezed her arms slightly. "Let's talk about what happened in there."

"I'm... I'm not sure. It happened so quickly."

He shook his head and started towards the door. "It's ridiculous. There's no way they can expect you to learn all of that in such limited time. I'll go back to the council and tell them you were cornered and didn't understand the severity of what they were asking."

"No!"

Gaara stopped in his tracks. "Rin?"

"You can't do that! If you do, it will destroy any progress I've made and further their case against me."

"I don't understand."

Rin brought her hands to her chest, grasping and releasing them with her words. "Every move I make from now until the Cleansing, will be judged and picked apart. They're trying to find me unsuitable, while still maintaining that they gave me a fair chance."

Gaara's brow furrowed. "But they aren't giving you a fair chance at all."

"I know! That's why it's brilliant! Either way, she wins!"

"Kaba?"

Rin's feet started moving, her arms gesturing wildly. "Yes! That clever old bat forced me into her game and I have to win or everything is for not!"

His eyes followed her animated pacing. "You could have said no. I don't understand why you accepted in the first place."

She gave him a face. "If I didn't, that would've been all the proof she needed! I'm vetting to be the bride of the Kazekage, not some baker or potter's wife. I have to show courage. Backing down from her challenge without so much as trying, would have been game over."

"I don't think that's the case here. I think you're reading too much into it."

Rin gave the chair a good kick, the sturdy wood sending an electric shock up and down her leg. "Because you don't understand how women think! This is exactly what she intended from the beginning!"

She rounded up for another kick, before feeling the familiar circling of sand around her foot.

Rin looked down at the intruder and snarled. "Damn it, Gaara! I'm throwing a fit! Let me do it!"

"Go ahead. At least this way you won't hurt yourself."

Rin looked from the sand, to Gaara's concerned face and felt the fury drain out of her like a cool waterfall.

How could she be angry when he looked at her like that?

She scratched her hands into her hair and smoothed it down, breathing as she did. "Okay....okay."

The sand receded for the second time and she turned to face the love of her life with a new, real sense of calm, despite the panic still flaring in her chest.

He waited to see what she would do next, uncertain of the mood that would strike his desert rose.

It wasn't as if he feared her rage or that he even blamed her for having it, but he worried for the harm she'd undoubtedly put herself through.

Especially since it was on his behalf and he knew, no matter how much he wished it, she wouldn't ask for his help.

Rin approached him, sliding her arms around his waist, hiding her face in his chest. "Gaara."

"Yes?"

"My foot hurts."

"I'm sure."

"Make it better."

Now this, he could do.

Gaara slid his arms under her knees, hitching her up in his arms. She rested her head against his chest, as he led her to the bed, settling her down so that she was sitting just to the side of his lap.

Careful hands took hold of the throbbing foot and lifted it for inspection. "Hm."

"Is it bad?"

"Does it feel bad?"

Her head nodded against his neck and he gently twisted the foot, letting out a hiss of pain from his lover.

"I don't think it's broken, but it's definitely going to bruise. I already see it forming."

"Great. I'm going to be the peak of grace with a jacked-up foot." Rin muttered to herself.

"I know you will."

Her eyes turned up to his face, which was soft and calm, despite her previous outburst. "How can you be so sure?"

He took a deep breath. "Because I know you. While I'd prefer you not to undergo this much stress or put yourself through the strain, I've seen you face worse. Lest we forget, you've walked through mental torture and psychological hell to save those you love. I think learning about the Sand's extended history, might be slightly less extreme."

Despite herself, Rin smiled. "I think I'd take the hell-scape. At least there, I know what I'm doing."

"If you can walk through my mind, you can walk through the Cleansing."

She was about to argue, before Gaara raised her throbbing foot to his lips and gave the top a gentle kiss.

"I think you'll walk just fine."

Rin felt her face flush at the unexpected tenderness. "I... I suppose that I'll have to do just that."

He smiled at her and brushed her hair behind her ear. "I know you will. I just hope you'll let me help along the way."


	70. Knights and Dragons

"Who was the founder of Sunagakure?"

"Lord Reto, first Kazekage of the Sand."

"Correct. At the first Kage summit, what was the percentage of land he demanded from the Land of Fire?"

"Um... 15%."

"No."

"10%?"

"Incorrect."

Rin shuffled in her chair. "5?"

Snap!

The crack of the bamboo pole came to her desk, sending a wave of surprise down her spine and a nauseous feeling to her stomach.

"Ms. Ito, we just went over this. Honestly. Does anyone else know the answer?"

She looked down when a wave of small hands shot up with various "Oh! Oh!'s".

When Gaara suggested she received personal training on the Sand's history, she leapt at the opportunity, until she realized that training would be sitting in the middle of class with a group of nine-year-olds.

How it was possible for such innocent faces to make her feel so stupid, was incredible.

"Pick me, Mr. Soma!" One aggravating girl said to her right.

"Yes, Chiri. What was the percentage of land our first Kazegage negotiated at the Kage summit?"

"30%, sir."

"Correct. What a clever student! Well done."

Mr. Soma moved back to the board, crafting a precise and detailed timeline.

Rin turned in time to catch Chiri's smug face scanning her up and down.

The child smirked at her victory and laced her fingers together, as if she'd just eaten the world's largest canary.

Rin's thoughts stayed in the back of her mind, though they longed to break free from her tight lips and be known to the world. "If I smacked this kid, would anyone care?"

The teacher's voice called her attention with another question to prove she was grasping the material. "What was the name of the group assembled to protect the village at its founding?"

Rin wracked her brain.

She'd just read about this, but the past week of having information grilled into head was taking its toll. If she could go the rest of her life without cracking another book about battle or arid climates, it would be blessed.

"The Puppet Brigade, sir." Chiri's hand shot up.

"Correct again. I see my lesson is being well-learned. I suppose Sand children are a different breed than some other villages. How interesting."

Rin bit the inside of her cheek, her thoughts bitter and biting. "Okay, make that one annoying kid and one dead adult."

Her chin came to rest in her hand, the tips of her fingernails tapping against the skin of her cheek. This was important. It was important for Gaara. She could handle some embarrassment if it meant spending her life with him.

The image of Kaba's cutting eyes flashed in her mind and suddenly her nails went from tapping to digging, the pain snapping her out of her train of thought.

Mr. Soma finished his timeline on the board and addressed his students. "Copy down the image and be ready to recreate it by this time tomorrow. I expect accurate dates and legible handwriting. Though I'm aware our lessons have gone by quickly, I know some of you are more than capable of rising to that challenge."

His eyes drifted to Rin. "Some of you."

Her gaze matched his, biting her tongue to not speak the words she longed to say. "Forget the kid. This guy is going down."

Instead she smiled as sweetly as she could manage, when he said. "Dismissed," though her thoughts of reaching into his mind and wriggling around in it was a temptation she hadn't had in a while.

What delicious secrets would she find in there? A dirty fantasy about being with a Sound woman? A history of bullied children? Or was he himself picked on as a student?

She studied the pride on his face as his students passed by him and the thinly veiled distain when his eyes drifted to her desk.

Probably nothing more than every day xenophobia, then.

Rin was going to have to get used to that if she were going to stay and possibly assist in leading this village one day. It was too much to ask the stubborn Sand to welcome her right away, no matter how much she wished they would.

Her back popped as she stood from her too small seat and stretched her hands above her head.

These days sitting in a classroom of children made her think back to training at the lab. While annoying, none of these babies deserved the torment she and her siblings went through. She was glad they wouldn't know what actual cruelty was beyond the snap of a bamboo stick.

It rested on Mr. Soma's desk and she longed to sneak it behind her back, but then, what tool would he have to make him feel important anymore?

Rin's petulant thoughts were disrupted when a small voice drew her attention. "E..e..excuse me, M..m..miss?"

Her eyes turned to a boy she hadn't seen before. "Oh, hello. Can I help you?"

Rin waited to see what the child needed, but Mr. Soma's grating voice caught her attention instead. "Class is dismissed, Ms. Ito. It's time for you to leave."

The muscles tightened in her jaw, but she maintained a calm tone. "I'm aware of that, thank you. I believe one of your students wanted to ask me something. Is that alright? I'd hate to keep you in this classroom a moment longer than you'd like."

The teacher's beady eyes traveled from her to the small boy who was studying the floor. "Ah, Koji, I should have known you'd be the one to linger like this. Misery loves company, after all."

Koji's hands came together, folding against his chest, as if there was any way to make himself seem smaller. "I... I... j... just..."

Mr. Soma gave an exaggerated sigh. "Come now, spit it out. You've lived here long enough to speak properly, Koji. That stutter of yours is unseemly."

Rin's eyes were cold on the man, but softened when they returned to the boy. "Would you like to tell me something?"

He nodded.

She smiled. "Why don't we let Mr. Soma get home? You can tell me outside. He's a VERY important man, didn't you know? We can't waste even a moment of his time."

Though it was so small, she could have imagined it, the edges of Koji's mouth turned up.

Rin bowed her head to the teacher, who was gripping the edges of his desk. "Thank you for the lesson today, sir. I'll be sure to study that timeline of yours, if you'll be so kind as to give me the tools to do so."

"The tools?"

She gestured to the other children who just left, paper in hand. "Yes, I've learned that materials like paper are difficult to come by in the Sand. I'll take a sheet and be on my way."

He grunted. "Ms. Ito, I'm bound by the Kazekage to include you in our lessons. That doesn't mean I have to equip you with valuable tools that my actual students need. If you're as clever as he believes you are, you should be able to memorize this board just fine."

Rin's eyes turned cutting. "You really are a thorn, aren't you, Soma?"

"A thorn that is your one chance of completing your silly mission."

Her mouth opened to give him a piece of her mind, until a small hand tugged at her shirt and the expression on his face stilled her voice in her throat.

She inhaled. "Fine. Good day to you, Mr. Soma. I look forward to another riveting lesson tomorrow."

The teacher said nothing in response, but had the audacity to brush his hand at her, like she was a dog that needed dismissing.

If there wasn't a child present, Rin would have made him regret ever having a hand in the first place.

Lucky for him, she wasn't a believer in exposing children to cruelty.

Rin held her head up high and spoke to Koji. "Come on, I need fresh air. It's too stifling in this room."

The boy dutifully followed her, not daring to face his teacher, as they passed.

Her steps led her out of the school building, muttering the entire time. "Rude, arrogant, vile man. If he wants to test me, he should sit through one of my nightmares. Then we'll see how brave he is."

"M... miss?"

Her angry rambling quieted and she regarded the boy. "Ah, yes, I'm sorry. You wanted to speak to me, Koji?"

"Y... y... yes, but not h... here."

"Anywhere in particular?"

He nodded and walked ahead of her, gesturing her to follow.  
Rin tried to remember seeing the young boy in class, but for the life of her, couldn't remember where he sat.

She stayed a comfortable distance behind, but set to studying him, curious as to where he was taking her and why.

He was a skinny boy, but most children in the Sand were. The harsh climate didn't leave many comforts that spoiled them, like soft grass or rivers to swim in.

It never occurred to her until this moment what they did for fun. She'd remembered her first walk in Gaara's mind and the game of stick ball that seemed to be a favored past time.

Did Koji play like that?

There was something off about him, she couldn't quite place. Something in the way he walked; a quick, shuffling gait. He lacked the easy, casual steps of his peers.

This was a boy who traveled with a purpose and sniffed the wind for danger.

Just like she did in her youth.  
Koji led her through two back allies and around the curve of a clay apartment building.

Rin was about to ask how much further, but he beat her to the question, when he stopped at something she hadn't seen since coming to the Sand.

"Oh my."

He turned to study her face and was relieved to see it pleased.

"Koji, is this your garden?"

The small boy nodded and went to sit down beside the small rows of pumpkin and melons.

Scents of harvest sent Rin back home, tugging at her heart strings in a way she hadn't expected.

The sight of green, the smell of living, growing things, the care that went into creating perfect, even rows, all of it made her homesick.

She joined him in sitting beside the gourds and smiled. "You've done a wonderful job. This is the best garden I've seen since coming to the Sand. I didn't know many villagers here knew how to garden like this."

"Th... they don...don't."

"You do, though."

"I'm not from h... here."

Rin's eyes trailed over the boy, studying his face. "You're not of the Sand?"

He shook his head.

That explained why he didn't seem like the other children and why Mr. Soma had no use for him.

"I see. What village are you from?"

"N.... n.... no village. My m... mother and I l... lived in the f... f... forest. By the l... l... land of b... b... bears."

"In the Land of Bears? That's a long way from here. What brought you both to the Sand?"

"F... f... father."

"Your father lives here?"

He nodded.

"What does he do?"

Koji shrugged. "D... don't know. N... n... never met him."

Rin's brow furled. "You never met him, but your mother moved you out to this village?"

He nodded again.

Her eyes turned to the bright blue sky, where the sun was beginning its descent. She guessed it was around three in the afternoon by how hot it burned.

What did this mean and what did Koji want to tell her? She guessed he wasn't a fan of speaking more than he had to, so it had to be something important. Asking the right questions was the best route to take.

"Where is your mother now? Is she inside?"

Koji's knees drew up to his chin. "She d... d... d..."

Rin didn't need him to finish. "It's alright, Koji. I understand."

He closed his eyes, quiet for some time.

It hurt Rin's heart to think of this boy living on his own.

The garden took on a completely different meaning. The careful rows and painstaking care came not from a beloved pastime, but for survival. Who was taking care of this boy if his father was absent and his mother passed?

She cleared her throat. "So, you're a transplant just like me, huh? Is that why you wanted to talk to me away from Mr. Soma? You understand what it feels like to not be one of them?"

Koji nodded. "I h... have p... p... paper. Y... y... you can have s... some."

Rin's heart hurt at his kindness. "No, that's okay. You keep it. Thank you for offering though."

They didn't say anything for a while longer.

It shouldn't have made her feel as good as she did, but knowing there was someone else who understood how she felt, was lovely in its way.

Gaara adored her and she'd made relationships with a few others in the village, but it wasn't the same. Even though the love of her life knew what it was to be hated and ostracized, he was still Sand-born. The streets he walked were the same now as they were when he was small.

She scooted closer to Koji, finding a bizarre sense of camaraderie with the quiet boy. "Who takes care of you? Do you live on your own here?"

He nodded.

"Does anybody help you?"

"S... sometimes. I g... g... go to s... school and v... villagers g... g... give me supplies. Mr. S... Soma says I sh... should be g... g... grateful."

"Mr. Soma can suck eggs for all I care." Rin grunted.

Koji laughed at that and it made her heart warm to hear. She felt like this boy didn't laugh very often.

His smile was missing two teeth in the back and the way his eyes creased captivated her. "You have a bright smile, Koji. It's really cute."

His face flushed red and he hid his forehead into his knees.

Rin laughed. "Sorry, sorry. Boys don't like being called, 'cute' right?"

He shook his head.

She placed a finger to her chin. "Hm, okay then. What should I call you instead?"

He waited, loving the attention he rarely got from adults, let alone a pretty lady.

All Koji wanted, was to let Ms. Ito know that she wasn't alone, that he understood what she was going through.

No one wanted to be his friend when he first arrived in this village. Not that they really wanted to now, but it didn't bother him as much as it did in the past. He was used to the looks people gave him, the cruel things they said.

Even before his mother died, people had no end of things to say. They said she was crazy, that his father wasn't of the Sand and they were just begging from place to place. He was a waste of resources, nothing more.

It was a right to go to school and that meant they couldn't keep him from attending, but that didn't mean they had to be kind to him or give him anything more than   
the bare minimum. That was fine for him though, he stopped caring what people thought a long time ago.

But he hated to see them do it to someone else.

His eyes turned to Ms. Ito, who was thinking intently. He'd heard lots of things about her.

When people don't think of you as a person, they don't realize you can hear everything they say and they had much to say about her.

He knew all about the Cleansing and her desire to join the Sand as the Kazekage's bride. He knew what she would have to do and that no one would make it easy for her.

And he also knew that he wanted her to succeed, if nothing else than to prove that you didn't have to be born here to be a person to them.

She snapped her fingers. "Ah! I know what I'll call you."

Koji's eyes turned to her.

"How about, Koji the Valiant?"

"I d... d.. don't know wh... wh... what that means."

She smiled, giving him a side glance. "It means strength and determination. Nothing cute about it all. Nope, not even a little cuteness."

Despite himself, Koji felt a stirring in his chest. "D... does it mean b... b... brave? Like a kn... knight?"

"You know what knights are? I thought most Sand children didn't read fairytales."

"M... m... mother told me s... stories. I like kn... knights."

Rin placed a hand to her heart. "Yes, it's something most knights have. Brave, strong, valiant, all things that are important for slaying dragons and saving princesses. So, how about it, Koji? Do you want to be my knight and help me slay Mr. Soma's test?"

He nodded, big smile on his face. "Y... yes."

She stood up and offered him a hand. "Well, Sir Knight, I don't think we can prepare for battle on a hot day like this. Why not come to my home and we can study there?"

Koji's eyes widened. "The Kaze.... kaze..."

Rin's smile was patient. "The Kazekage's home, yes."

"I c... can't. It's n... n... not allowed."

She let out a "pssh" noise. "Who says? I'm sure he'll be happy to meet you and I can't study without grapes. It's just a rule."

"Grapes?" Koji squeaked.

Rin was going to die right then and there. No one was taking this boy out of her sight. "Yes, grapes. What do you say?"

He thought about it for a moment longer and took her hand.


	71. One Person

People were staring, though at this point, it was more of an odd comfort than a surprise. It seemed like that's all the villagers could do since the day Rin arrived. Hushed whispers behind raised hands, quick, knowing glances shared between gossiping old hens, rumors springing to life like new rain whenever she walked by.

The little hand grasped in hers, wasn't as used to the stares. "M..m…iss Ittt..o?"

"Rin."

"Rin. W..w…hy are they staring at us?"

She gave a quick glance around at the villagers, who quickly ducked their heads when she noticed them, and shrugged. "Didn't you know, Koji? We are very important people, you and I."

"Im…important?" He stammered.

"Why yes. If we weren't, we wouldn't disrupt their day so much, would we? Only important people warrant this kind of attention."

Koji braved a look up at her face, which shone under the harsh desert sun. There was a sheen of sweat on her brow and her hair stuck to the back of her neck, but still, he was convinced now, more than ever, that she was indeed the princess and he was her knight, just as she said earlier.

His hand became a bit stronger in hers.

The villagers never stared at him, in fact, they went out of their way to do the opposite. He was nothing more than a nuisance and they made every effort to never let him forget it. Honestly, he could have done with a bit more staring, at least then he would have mattered.

The gates of the Kazekage's mansion came into view and Koji's new-found bravery wavered. No one was allowed inside unless they had official business. What kind of business could he drum up that would excuse his presence?

Rin wafted up the stairs without a second of hesitation, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She gave him her warmest smile and he returned it, though it turned down when he saw the two formidable men standing on either side of the door.

This was it, the end of her little game of knights and princesses.

Koji wished it would have lasted a bit longer, if just for him to forget who he was and the life he'd return to. The garden he tended for his survival, the empty shack where his mother laid in bed, muttering to herself about his father and their importance, until she didn't say anything else.

He hated the memories that stunk like rotten eggs and stayed in his nose long after he passed out each night, only to be the first thing he knew when he rose in the morning.

The guards gave her a once over. "Ms. Ito."

"Ikki, Kazue."

"What is this about?"

Rin looked around, specifically avoiding the direction of the small boy who was clinging to her side, shaking beneath their cold expressions.

"What exactly? Oh! You must mean my ragged appearance? I know, I'm not up to the standards you're used to. I spent the afternoon in a classroom full of know-it-all, nine-year-olds and took the long way back. Nothing like the devil's heat to make a girl look her best."

Despite himself, Ikki smiled, but Kazue remained as stoic as ever.

The taller of the two pointed his spear at the child. "What is the meaning of this?"

Koji tried to make himself smaller than he ever had in the past, but Rin maintained her calm presence. "Oh! My apologies! This is Koji the Valiant. He will be my guard from now on."

"Your what?"

Rin tapped the spear aside and patted Kazue's shoulder. "Try not to be too disappointed. I know how much you miss escorting me around the village. Stiff upper lip and all that."

Ikki choked back his laugh. "I think you might make him cry, Ms. Ito."

She put a hand to her heart. "Aww Kazzy, I didn't know you cared so much."

Kazue straightened up. "You can't just bring any guest you see fit inside of the Kazekage's dwellings. There are protocols to follow and…"

"You know how I feel about that word." Her voice hardened, though her smile hadn't left.

Koji peeked up past her leg. "It's f..ff…fine. D..d..don't be mad at h..he..her. I'll g…g….go."

Rin bent down and turned him to look at her. "You will do know such thing. Remember? You're a brave knight and you're going to help me slay the wicked Mr. Soma's test. I can't do that without you, Koji. This is just one of many obstacles you'll face and we're not going to be afraid of two stuffy guards, right?"

"Right."

"That's a good boy."

She straightened back up, her face losing all traces of the humor it once had. "If you want to let Lord Fifth know that the love of his life has been detained at the doors of his manor, I'll wait. I'm sure he won't find that interruption a bother at all, especially with the Cleansing fast approaching and all the extra work he's had piled on."

The guards gave each other a meaningful look, before Kazue raised his spear and they parted to allow her entry.

"Smart move." She quipped as the moved forward, but not before her voice whispered in his ear. "If I ever see you point a spear at a child again, the Kazekage's wrath isn't the only thing you'll have to fear. Good day, Kazzy."

Koji shuffled along beside her, sparing a glance over his shoulder. The shorter of the two guards laughed at his partner, who gave him a sharp punch to the side.

His eyes returned to Rin, who walked with such ease, he wondered why she'd ever need a knight like him? It seemed like she was more than capable of bringing a man to his knees.

The Kazekage's manor was vast indeed, the stone floor feeling foreign beneath his feet. He'd never even been close to the outside, let alone peeked inside. It seemed like the smallest noise would echo and shatter this dream he was sure it was.

There was no way he'd been allowed in this easy.

All he'd done was offer paper to a pretty lady in his class and show her his garden. That didn't come with private escorts or the grapes she'd promised. Things like this didn't happen for street urchins like him.

Yet, as the climbed one of the massive staircases and entered a giant kitchen, the dream was becoming a reality.

Rin let go of his hand and spoke to the servants, who were quick at work on dinner. "Aoi, Niko, could I trouble you for a snack?"

The two bustling women brushed past her, wiping the sweat from their brows. "Can't stop now! We're behind schedule as it is."

"Why you asking anyway? Just take what you want and get out!"

Rin ducked under as Aoi reached for the cabinet, narrowly missing her head in the process. "I was looking for some grapes. If you don't mind?"

"Grapes, she says! Grapes! As if we aren't busy enough!" Niko called from the oven.

Koji hid by the door, certain that if he froze, no one would see him and the last thing he wanted was to get in the way of these two women.

"There should be some in the pantry. Get out! Get out! No time to waste!"

Rin sashayed to the side and opened the large pantry, securing her prize and dashing out of the roaring kitchen.

Wiping the sweat from her brow, she puffed. "See? Just one of many obstacles, indeed."

"D…do they n..n..ot l…like you?"

She glanced over her shoulder, placing the bowl of grapes in the curve of her hip and taking hold of the boy's hand again. "Actually, I think I prefer them to most everyone else in this village."

"Wh…why?"

"Because at least they dislike me as much as they dislike everyone else. We're all equal in the chef's distain. It makes me feel a part of things."

Koji considered this, as they made their way to a private study, which was around the size of his entire shack.

Rin easily settled herself at the long table and patted the chair beside her. "Okay, Koji the Valiant, it's time for you to show me what you've got. We're going to pass that ogre's test if it's the last thing I do."

Koji gingerly sat beside her, his fingers feeling especially dirty under the clean table. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Wh…why are y….y… you trying s…so hard?"

Rin popped a grape in her mouth and tilted her head in response, sliding the bowl closer to him.

Koji took one solitary grape and worried it between his fingers. "Th…the v..v..village doesn't l..l..like y..you. So, wh..why t..t..try?"

The question saddened her with the truth behind it, but she just shrugged. "The village can feel whatever they want about me. There is only one opinion I truly care about and because of him, I can put up with any test or challenge they throw at me."

"One p…p…person?"

"Mm hmm. That's a good lesson to think on, Koji. Even if the entire world is against you, if you have one person who believes in you, you can make it. The Kazekage believes in me."

"M...me too."

Rin smiled, sliding an arm around his skinny shoulders. "Thank you, my brave knight. Now, I'm going to need you to eat three more grapes before we get started."

"Ye…yes p…princess."


	72. How She Changed Me

The sun hung in the sky, as heavy and harsh as the expectations that lingered in the air.

Gaara stood at the window, staring out at the village as his council discussed the arrangements for the Cleansing. It was approaching at an unrelenting pace, each rise and fall of the sun bringing them closer to an outcome he couldn't guess and a resolution he wasn't sure he wanted.

A week had already passed. Two more and she would be out of time. They would be out of time.

"Security will be posted here, here and here. A guard consisting of Sand, Cloud and Rock. They'll keep to the cliffs and maintain position from a sky view."

"That sounds wise."

"The other Kage will be arriving at 0900 and of course, the proper presentations will be made. When the introductions are complete, the first test will begin."

This drew Gaara's attention, almost as much as the note of glee in Kaba's voice. "Which test will be the first?"

The council members looked up from their maps and documents, surprised at the Kazekage's sudden interest. He'd been silent since they started the meeting and if it were possible, he'd managed to be even more monosyllabic than usual.

They'd given up asking for his input long ago.

"The first test of the maidens will be their grace and presence. They will be expected to carry themselves in a way befitting of a future Kage's bride. The applicants must demonstrate a calm head under pressure and scrutiny."

"Scrutiny? I don't recall this being part of last year's testing."

The councilmembers gave each other sidelong looks. "Lord Fifth, it's been the same test for generations. Are you feeling all right?"

He glanced down and back out the window.

No, he was not feeling "all right."

Rin already faced too much scrutiny since she arrived, and it was all because of him. She didn't deserve to be paraded around like some prized calf to slaughter and he doubted anyone would spare her the axe, if they had the chance.

The guilt was twisting away at his insides.

He racked his mind trying to remember last year's test. What was on it? What was asked? They always changed the questions if a bride wasn't selected that year, but the subject matter would be the same.

Why couldn't he recall what the testing process was like? How could she be expected to learn all the Sand's history and customs within three weeks? It was doomed from the start. No one could shove a lifetime of knowledge into such a short amount of time.

He should have put a stop to it when he had the chance. Should have stood up to his council and claimed such ideas were ridiculous and she deserved better.

Rin's mischievous grin flashed in his imagination, the curve of her neck, the wild mane of hair that never stayed tamed for too long. The way her hands came to her hips and her face set into a look that spoke volumes in the silence.

Despite himself, he found smiling along with it.

She would find a way to conquer this. If anyone could, it was that fierce, funny girl, who captivated him with her words and melted him with her touch.

He let out a breath and tried to gather all the intel he could from the council. It felt odd to play espionage with his own people, but any advantage he could give Rin, would be worth it. 

What he didn't know was the head councilwoman anticipated that very thing.

~~~

The rest of the day flew by in a flash and by the time he found himself free of the council room, it was well into the late hour. His stomach growled for dinner, an odd sensation and yet another sign of how Rin had changed his life.

He would eat in the past to sustain himself, but it was long between meals. Food never interested him, sitting down with others was torture, the entire thing seemed pointless.

Since Rin came, he not only found himself enjoying the taste of food more but found the company intoxicating. Rin enjoyed things in a way he never knew before. Each evening she'd fill him in on everything she'd learn and request that he quiz her.

Though, admittedly she'd been less enthused and more exhausted the past few nights.

He'd have to find a way to revive her.

Flashes of the night the spent together went through his mind. Yes, there were a great many things he could do.

His steps trailed through the halls, the scent of the kitchen filling his nose. What was on the menu tonight? Meats? Breads? If he were asked to make a list of foods he liked, he was curious which would make the top of the list.

Rin seemed to have a fondness for yellow cake…

Memories of the skeleton Haru and the agony that followed his demise stilled the idea as quickly as it came. He didn't think she'd eat yellow cake for the rest of her life.

Gaara opened the doors of the dinning hall, but found no girl there, frazzled or not. The seat beside his remained empty.

He looked to the sun, which had fully set and the dishes which were arranged in precise order for a favorable experience.

Where could she be?

Gaara tapped the top of the high sitting chair, humming to himself.

Rin never missed dinner. Even when everything else was falling apart, she found herself at his side, telling him all about it.

He'd heard the unfairness of Mr. Soma's teachings, the stuffy material of the Sand's history, of which he tried not to take offense, her knowledge on tea and relaxation, which thankfully already played into her skills. He heard it all and he enjoyed that she chose to share it with him instead of taking it all on by herself.

Tap, tap, tap.

Where could she be?

He lingered a few more moments, racing through all the possibilities, before the waiting proved too much. The food would just have to wait, it wasn't nearly as good without her anyway.

Gaara drifted through the halls, checking each door she might find herself.

She wasn't in the main entrance teasing the guards, she wasn't in the kitchen dodging flying pots and pans, she wasn't in the library, hold up in one of the lofty rafters, dangerously balanced on the top of the ladders.

Perhaps she found her way back to their room?

He smiled; he liked that sound of that.

Maybe she wanted to rest her tired mind from all the knowledge it was forced to suck in all at once? It wouldn't be the first time he'd find her slumped over the table, pencil still fastened in her hand, papers askew.

He knew he should feel bad that she was that exhausted, but it was one of the cutest things he'd seen. Rin was always the expert of sleep in their relationship, so having her be the child-like one, was a refreshing change for him.

His thoughts started to darken when his steps came to the last room.

Was she off the grounds altogether? Where could she be this late at night? Was she safe?

Honestly, the way he was worrying made him sound more like a fussing hen than a mighty Kazekage. My, how she'd changed him.

"Wh..what was th..the.. t..t..technique used f..for imm..imm..imm."

"Immobilizing?"

"Yes."

"Okay, we just went over this. The preferred technique used for immobilizing by the Sand. Let's see."

Gaara listened outside the door. Who was that other voice with her?

"Y..you can d..d..do it."

"Cloth Binding Technique?"

"Yes!"

Rin let out whoop that made Gaara jump and then smile. He loved hearing her victorious.

He raised a hand to knock and hesitated, listening to the small voice and trying to place it amongst the people that resided in his estate.

"Almost d..d…done. Who was th…the daimyo wh..who s…s..stopped trade with the L..Leaf?"

"A damn fool."

Gaara closed his eyes, as laughed peeled from whomever was inside the room with her.

"M..mama s..s..said you sh..shouldn't s..s…swear."

"Your mother was correct. I'm sorry, Koji."

Koji? Who was Koji? The name wasn't familiar to him at all.

Gaara cleared his throat and stopped eavesdropping, with a solid knock.

"Come in." Rin called and the sight he found wasn't what he'd expected.

The great table in the study was littered with papers, scrolls, a discarded bowl of grapes and two pairs of eyes regarding him, one with love, the other with fear.

"Good evening, Gaara." She smiled her captivating smile, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to have a strange child beside her.

"Good evening."

The boy, he assumed was Koji, shrunk beneath his stare, disappearing into Rin's side.

"I see we have a guest. Care to introduce your new friend, my dear?"

Rin smiled down at her charge and slid a comforting arm around his frail shoulders. "This is Koji the Valiant, my new knight and escort. He's taken on the task of helping me study."

"A perilous task indeed."

She stuck her tongue out at him and Koji looked like he would faint.

Gaara didn't blame him. It wasn't as if his reputation would disappear overnight and he had no memorable interactions with this boy.

However, he already knew who he was. He knew the sunken cheeks and tattered clothes, he knew the look of anxiety that shifted through the room at every small noise, the way he gauged the emotions of the people around him to see how to act.

This was a boy who'd known too much pain in his young life.

Rin stood up from her chair, stretching her arms in the air and cracking her back. "If you're searching me out, that must mean it's dinner time."

Koji slid off his seat and clasped his hands together. "Okay, I'll g..g..go then. S…s..see you in class."

She stopped stretching and put her hands on her hips. "And where do you think you're going?"

The boy froze in his steps. "H..home?"

Rin put a hand to her chest. "What kind of brave knight leaves his lady alone for the night? You will eat with us, Koji."

His eyes turned to the Kazekage, who stood straight and confused. "R..really?"

She smiled at Gaara, her eyes warm and expecting. "Certainly. I'm sure Lord Fifth would love to reward you for all your help today, wouldn't he?"

His gaze held hers and he knew there was no argument. "Of course. Please, join us in the dining hall, Koji, was it?"

"Y..yes s..s..sir."

Rin linked her arm around Gaara's and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "We have much to discuss, my love."


	73. Orphans

Koji was a clever boy, despite what his teacher may have said. He knew how to survive on his own, how to wash his clothes, tend to his garden, try to fix the roof of his house when the fierce desert winds beat against it.

He was very clever indeed.

However, no amount of clever or logical reasoning could justify the sight before him.

Koji had never known grandeur. In fact, he'd never known anything beyond the scraps of a table and an empty belly that never seemed satisfied.

So, the long table, full of foods he'd only dreamt of, felt just like that, a bizarre, enticing dream.

His princess settled herself by the Kazekage, speaking a mile a minute about all the things they just went over in their study session. He nodded at the appropriate times, lifting various foods to her plate and settling it in front of her.

Only then did she stop talking.

Rin took her plate, full of meats, cheeses, fresh baked bread and fruit and set it in front of Koji. "My love, we have a guest. I know the Sand raised you better than that."

To Koji's shock and awe, the Kazekage, leader of the entire village, former keeper of the One-Tail and commander of the armies that untied the ninja nations, looked chastised.

The boy glanced from his plate of splendor to the face of the woman who felt bold enough to critique Lord Fifth.

What was so special to allow her to speak to him like that?

Koji knew the tales of Gaara of the Sand. He was legendary for a reason. Even in his tiny village, before he ever made his trek here, there was word of him. Koji was too young to remember the One-Tail vividly, but he listened to what the adults said.

That was always the safest route, after all. Always listen to the gossip and stay one step ahead.

They said he was cursed, violent, evil. It was whispered that if you crossed his path, he would crush you with his sand without giving a second thought.

How could that monster be the man sitting at the head of the table?

How could the demon of the Sand, be the one kissing the hand of the princess beside him and how could he have his eyes on him and not see the garbage that everyone said he was?

"So, Koji. I'd like to personally thank you for assisting Rin in her studies. I can't imagine she is a patient student." He said with a mischievous smirk in her direction.

Koji looked down at his hands. "Sh..sh…she's f..f..fine."

Rin gave a sudden. "Ha!"

He jumped at her volume and fixed his eyes back down.

Rin noticed.

She made up a plate for Gaara and then herself, nibbling on a piece of bread. "Hm, I can't decide if I like this or this one better. What do you think Koji?"

His eyes trailed up to her.

Rin's smile was always warm when it was on him. "Try these two breads and tell me which one you like better. I'm terribly indecisive."

Gaara lifted a goblet of wine to his lips and watched the boy fiddle with the food in front of him. He knew exactly what Rin was doing and he was curious if this Koji did as well?

The small, dirtied hands picked at the pieces of bread, carefully trying one and then the other, savoring them in his mouth, working them around before giving her his answer.

Before the boy knew it, he'd already consumed the two large pieces and was looking to her for approval. "I l…l…like the s…s…spiced one better."

She nodded. "I completely agree. What about the meat? Do you think I should try the chicken or the beef?"

Koji set to his new mission like a mad man, grabbing each piece of meat and trying it, all with the same determined look on his face.

Rin spared a quick glance at Gaara and smiled behind her cup.

Sneaky.

By the end of the dinner, Koji had picked nearly all the food Rin would eat and, in the process, finished a meal that was more food than he got in three days.

He leaned back in his chair, unsure of the full feeling in his stomach; what a foreign sensation.

Rin laced her hand into Gaara's, enjoying the coolness that always followed his touch. Though they tried to at least spend the evening together, it wasn't enough time. She missed taking a walk through the village together and she certainly would snub her nose at another hot spring visit.

The Cleansing would be here soon enough and then it would be done. All this studying and worry, everything that was keeping her up late at night, would vanish into a painful memory and she certainly had her experience dealing with those.

She just had to keep pressing forward, but also, not forget to enjoy the little moments like this. The feeling of his hand in hers, the ability to share a meal together, simple joys that shouldn't go unnoted. This was why she was doing it after all, to continue having a place in his world.

Koji tried his best to listen to the conversation between these adults, but it was different than he was used to. They spoke quieter, but not in the whispering, conspirator way he'd heard in the past.

Their voices followed a cadence that rose and fell like a melody. It was pleasant and lulling.

The Kazekage finished the final pieces of his dinner, dabbing at the corners of his mouth with the hand that wasn't wrapped around Rin's. "So, what do you think about…"

She placed a finger to his lips.

Gaara stopped speaking, confused by her sudden movement. He followed Rin's gaze, when it rested on Koji, who's eyes were closing, his head nodding at the table.

Her smile at the sight was enough to make him melt.

She stood up from her chair, scooped up the boy and balanced him in her arms. He weighed so little; it made her heart hurt. A boy his age should have more to him.

She looked at Gaara, her voice soft. "We have my old room still set up, yes? The sheets are clean?"

"Of course."

"Good."

Without another word, Rin drifted out of the room, the Kazekage following the spectacle never seen within these walls.

As long as he could remember, there was never a child in this place, other than his siblings when he was young, and no one ever lifted them up from the dinner table.

Falling asleep there would have been punishable by rod and hand. His father always demanded a level of awareness in his children, lest anyone get the jump on them. It was unacceptable to be so ill-prepared, so is that why the sight of this boy draped in her arms, fascinated him so?

Rin's lilting voice filled the silent hallways, the same halls he'd traveled for endless nights alone. Never a sound besides the small shuffle of his feet or the occasional sigh. How had she managed to fill his life with song like this?

She turned to the room where she'd stayed before and looked at him expectedly, incorporating her request into the lullaby she was singing. "Open the door, please."

He heard the words, but it took a second to grasp them and he fumbled with the handle, letting out more noise than he'd hoped.

Rin didn't seem bothered though, she drifted into the room, her steps smooth and sure and laid the boy down in the waiting bed.

She pulled the covers up to his chin, brushed her hand through his messy hair and sighed. "Little thing."

Gaara waited at the doorframe. It was silly, but he didn't feel welcomed. Whatever scene she'd painted, it seemed like he didn't fit into it or maybe it was because he wanted to fit so badly, that his body feared what it would imply.

Rin turned to look at him. "I need a bowl of warm water and a clean towel, please."

He jumped at her request, but rushed to do as she asked, trying not to laugh at himself for how quickly he moved.

Rin never yelled at him, nor did she demand he do one thing or another, but, some part of him knew instinctually, that when it came to this boy, she would not be questioned and it was in his interest to do as she asked.

He retrieved the things she wanted and rushed back to the room, sloshing the water more than once.

Her lullaby had come up again, filling the room with its warmth, as she kissed his cheek and took the bowl from him.

Gaara stayed in the doorway, studying her every movement as if she were a work of art.

Rin sat on the bedside, squeezing the towel of its water and gently dabbing at the boy's dirtied face. How could she do that without waking him? Gaara felt like it took so little to rouse him from his uneasy slumber, but then again, he didn't have as much practice.

She cleaned his face, his arms, his hands, rubbing and massaging as she did.

Koji let out a little sigh now and again, but made no other sound, other than the occasional snore.

When she focused on his fingernails, she found them split and cracked and her voice became a sad whisper. "He's fought so hard."

Gaara memorized the look on her face. For some reason, he knew it was a moment in time he wouldn't forget. Pictures of memory that would rush back to him when his life was over.

The times his father tried to kill him, leading the ninja nations, making his first friend and the look of determined sadness in the face of the woman he loved.

She brushed back the boy's hair again and laid a gentle kiss on his clean forehead. "Goodnight, Koji."

To her pleasure and pain, the small boy let out a sigh and smiled.

Rin tucked the bowl and towel in her hip and came to face the Kazekage, who was studying her like a hawk. "You know we can't let him leave now?"

"What?" He asked, almost missing what she said.

"He's staying with us from now on."

"But…"

"He's. Staying."

Gaara felt the fire in her eyes long before he saw it and knew there was no argument at this moment. He wasn't foolish enough to take on the bull when it saw red, but that didn't mean this discussion was finished.

Gaara looked back at the sleeping boy and saw himself in those sheets. How different would his life have been if someone had carried him from the table or brushed his hair back or felt a scrap of the protectiveness that Rin did for this child?

He had the feeling it would have changed the course of history.

He slid the door close with little more than a click and followed Rin into their bedroom.

She was washing her hands in the jasmine soap she'd made herself, the scent filling his nose with her familiarity.

Rin glanced at him from the mirror and read his face. "Something to say, my love?"

Gaara leaned against the wall. "You know there are going to be questions about that boy."

"I'm sure."

"And what do you intend to say? That was just found him on the road and now he's staying with us?"

"More or less how it happened."

The Kazekage sighed and came over to rest his hands on her shoulder. "He can't stay here."

"And why not?"

She squirted some lotion in her hands and worked it into her skin, though Gaara believed it was more of a way to calm her nerves than anything else.

"Because we are not his legal guardians. Where are his parents?"

"His mother is dead, and his father is gone."

"Gone where?"

"He doesn't know. He doesn't even know who the man is, so I certainly doubt anyone will be looking to claim him from us anytime soon."

"So, who has been caring for him, then? Surely he has a guardian of some kind."

Rin put the lotion down with a little bit of force. She turned to face the love of her life and her eyes held the fire he knew came with the certainness that she was about to get her way. "You should spend more time with your people, my darling."

"You know I try. That's not fair."

"I mean all of your people. The noblemen and the lower class."

"It's who feels safe approaching me. I'm open to anyone who will speak to me."

She nodded and held his hands in hers, kissing his knuckle. "Then why have you never seen this boy before? He's been there and the village has been taking care of him, badly, but still."

"They have been?"

"Yes. What typically happens when a child is orphaned at his age?"

Gaara looked to the side, unwilling to see the anger that would surely fill her at his answer. "They're ignored, mostly. It's not just the Sand. I've heard other villages doing the same. When a child loses their family, the village is meant to come together to raise them, but that doesn't mean they are always raised in love. Just have their needs met."

Rin's hands trembled on his. "Well… that's unacceptable. How many orphans are in the Sand?"

"I'm not sure."

She nodded. "I think it's important for us to find out."


	74. Rein Her In

One week. That's all the time she had left. Seven fleeting days that traveled like tumble weeds on the desert breeze.

Her days had been spent in studies with a rigorous schedule that almost rivaled the lab she was raised in. The scent of the dusty library, the sound of turning pages and scribbling notes, the headache that became a constant companion to her, made up Rin's life.

The only breaks that kept her sane, were when she collapsed into the safety of Gaara's arms at night and the occasional laughs little Koji gave her. The boy stuck to her side like glue, carrying piles of manuscripts back and forth, fetching her water and meals she would work right through if someone didn't keep an eye on her.

While she never intended for him to take this role so seriously, it gave him so much joy to see her gratitude and he'd even managed to put on a few pounds. His face was slightly fuller, his shoulders rounded instead of sharp and that was a sight she could get used to.

With his help, she'd conquered Mr. Soma's inane test, though by the snarl on the teacher's face, she could tell a passing grade was the last thing he wanted to give her.

"You know passing one test doesn't make you qualified to be the Kazekage's bride?"

She riled herself up to obliterate him with the comeback about his manhood that would bring him to his knees, but with Koji standing beside her, watching her face, she stilled. "Well, it's a start, isn't it? Thank you for your tutorship, Mr. Soma."

That didn't stop her from knocking over his cup of pencils when she left though.

Small victories.

Koji was adjusting to his new life at the manor and, just as Gaara had predicted, the questions came pouring in. Everyone wanted to know about the strange boy and why it seemed as if the Sound girl could do as she pleased? What would that mean for the strength of the line if he so easily buckled to her whims?

Of course, none of these questions were brave enough to come to him directly. All the intel he received was in the form of Temari's morning rundown.

"What does the village whisper today, sister?"

"The same thing that's been circulating. They have much to say about Rin and your new charge, a charge, I might add, that you didn't approve with us either."

Gaara flicked through his documents, avoiding her gaze. "Trust me, it's not like I had much of a say in it."

"That's the problem, Gaara. Everyone can see it."

He sighed. "See what, exactly?"

Kankuro snickered. "That your balls are securely in Rin's bag, little bro."

Temari balked. "A modicum of respect, Kankuro!"

He shrugged. "Sorry, that's what people are saying. Maybe not that forward, but it's true. They worry she will be the one to actually run this village and you'll let her do it."

Gaara placed a hand to his head, wincing past the headache. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

Both siblings stared at each other and back at him. "What?"

"What is it that she's doing so wrong? She found an orphan and gave him a home. She's trying to actively work amongst the people and learn all our customs and history. What do they really have to complain about?"

Kankuro shrugged and Temari sighed. "There is a certain level of power and respect the village expects from their Kazekage. If she continues to do things of her own volition, regardless of their intent, it could reflect poorly on your standing."

Gaara just scoffed and picked up a document to scan over. "Ridiculous."

"Perhaps if you…"

"If I what? Tell her she can't be kind to less fortunate? Tell her to stop engaging with villagers who haven't given her the same level of decency? If it's not one thing, it will be the next. They want to see some respect and power? Watch me not bend to their demands about her."

"But Gaara…"

"No. I'll hear no more of this foolishness. If they can come with some legitimate reason for me to be displeased or correct her, I'll listen. Until then, I'll not be that brute that is reining in my woman for my own image. I have more important things to do."

Kankuro opened his mouth to say something, but the look on Temari's face stilled him. If he didn't know any better, he could swear his sister was smiling. It was so rare on her stony face; it was hard to tell for sure.

"Well, we will just get on with our duties then."

Gaara nodded to them and Temari caught her brother's eye on her way out, signaling for him to follow her.

When they made it out the massive doors, Kankuro laced his hands behind his head. "What do you get out of that one?"

"Interesting to say the least."

"Come on Temari, you always have something more than that to say. What are you thinking?"

She held her trusty clipboard tighter to her chest. "I think he's entirely too in love with that girl."

Kankuro's brow drew tighter. "Then why are you smiling?"

Temari took a breath and stretched. "How wonderful a problem for him to have. Also, this is the first time I've heard Gaara take such a stance on his own. He's becoming a wonderful Kazekage, indeed."

Her brother smirked. "We need to be careful though. If we turn our backs, Rin will have turned this entire place into an orphanage. Kids running through the halls, grubby fingers knocking down the paintings and vases. Chaos reigning."

Temari chuckled. "I don't doubt that for a second. Let's continue to do damage control, the Cleansing is approaching."

"Do you think she stands a chance of passing?"

The elder sister thought about it. "I think she will give us one hell of a show one way or another."

They exchanged a laugh, rare as it was, but then, it was becoming more common and neither was upset about that fact.

~~~~~~~~~

The night before the Cleansing had come upon them.

Rin stared at the doors to the dining room, where inside, the heads of the noble families were waiting.

She knew all eyes would be on her. Every move she made, every word she spoke, each one held under scrutiny.

Her hands shook on the handle.

What if she made a fool of herself? What if she said the wrong thing, or worse, tripped flat on her face? What would Gaara do? How could she recover?

"It's not like I expect you to pass anyway."

"What?"

Rin shot around to see her beloved's face, but it lacked the warmth she'd come to know from his eyes.

"You don't honestly think you can stand by my side, do you? You aren't worthy of being the Kazekage's bride. You're nothing. You're not even human."

"Wh…. Why are you saying this to me?"

Suddenly a woman appeared at his side. A beautiful, young thing, with large eyes and a perfect smile that lit up the room.

Gaara held her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "Someone like this, is far more worthy than you. You're just an embarrassment to me."

"I'm not an embarrassment."

The woman giggled and whispered something in his ear, which made the Kazekage smirk. "You will fail. I know it. You know it. Best to give up now."

"I won't fail!"

Gaara laughed, a cruel, wicked sound, as he pulled the strange woman closer. "You already have."

Rin shot awake, staring at the empty ceiling above her head. She was dripping in sweat, her hair a tangled mess.

Koji was nestled at her side and hadn't even stirred despite her running nightmare.

She wiped a hand over her face, quieting her racing heartbeat. This same dream had been plaguing her for weeks. The same one each time.

The story they'd been reading laid discarded on her chest, the candles burned down to the bottom of their dishes.

Rin closed the book and settled it on the bedside table, brushing her fingers over Koji's hair when she did it.

The boy usually slept in his own bed and she encouraged that, however, at this moment, she was glad for the company.

The empty bed to her other side made the nightmare too real.

She knew Gaara had duties that kept him working late into the night and with the Cleansing only two days away, he was busier than ever. 

Rin curled Koji closer to her and whispered. "I won't fail. I can't."

All that was left was for her to pretend to be as sure as she sounded.


	75. Time

The bedroom mirror was a friend, trusted and valued above all others.

A woman sat in its reflection, grinning a satisfied smile at the person within.

Her eyes were heavily lined, turning up on the edges to give her the cat image her family was known for. Her black hair, oiled and brushed exactly two hundred times by the servants the night before, was looped in elaborate twists behind her head, the jade clasp silently bragging her standing.

"The Oribe Clan are the blossoms of the desert. Every single daughter has been blessed. There's no one who competes with them!"

"And our Mai is the crowning jewel of them all."

She smiled, holding out her hand for her maid to rub coconut lotion up and down her arm.

Her mother smacked the worrying fingers of another servant, who was trying to make herself useful by adjusting her now perfect makeup.

"Of course, she is. No one stands a better chance at winning the Kazekage's gaze, than our girl. Really, the rest should just give up now. It's our time."

There was a chorus of agreements from the surrounding maids, until one voice rose over them, cold and commanding. "Beauty isn't enough."

All eyes turned to the head of the family, who had stationed himself in her bedroom door.

Mai didn't turn around, but her eyes fixed on the man in the mirror. "Good morning, Father."

His fingers snapped and the bowing heads around them rose, but shuffled off quietly, leaving only the Head, his wife and their prized first born.

She felt his looming presence fill the room like a heavy cloud, her back straightening ever so slightly, shoulders back, head up to the appropriate angle.

"Husband, why do you say that? You know as well as we that none of those girls will compete with Mai. She is obviously the best choice to represent our clan and our village."

"Because I refuse to be made a fool of and you shouldn't either. You've heard the rumors of the Kazekage's recent madness, just as I. That wench from the Sound parading on his arm, like she's in any way suitable and now the welp at their side. It's disgraceful."

Mai bit the inside of her cheek.

Of course, she'd heard the whispering of the villagers, but hadn't seen the girl herself. She wasn't often allowed outside the estate's walls and if she were to venture out, it was always accompanied by a chaperone who would shield her from such a sight.

Her mother waved a manicured hand. "A passing fancy, nothing more. It wouldn't be the first time a member of that family has fiddled around with random women. Lord Kankuro keeps a revolving count of a number of conquests, whose to say his brother wouldn't lean the same way?"

"Even he has been stilled by one woman lately and his lieutenant, nonetheless. Honestly, what is happening to the standards of the royal family?"

Mai's eyes returned to her reflection, now searching for a flaw that didn't exist before. Would people say the same things about her that they did about these other girls? What could there be about her that wouldn't be perfect for him?

Her father's rough voice answered that question for her. "Mai. It's not enough to be beautiful, you must be cunning and, if the time calls for it, vicious. You will not ruin this chance for us. Tell me, daughter, what is the best strategy for attack in our land's borders?"

"Ambush."

"Correct and why is that?"

She lifted her chin slightly, her voice as militant as the tutors who filled every hour of her day. "The desert shifts and changes with each passing day. A tower of sand may block one entrance and open to another within hours. Our enemies rely too much on familiarity. We know how to take advantage of the terrain and the opportunities presented to us."

"Does the desert take prisoners?"

"Never."

The weight of his hands was suddenly on her shoulders, his face, which held the high cheek bones and dark eyes they shared, joining her in the mirror. "So then, daughter, will you?"

"Never."

"That's my girl. Finish your primping, but always remember this, you are the prized daughter of the Oribe clan, and we will not lose to trash from the Sound. Don't disappoint me."

"Yes, Father."

He left as quickly as he'd come, but it took more than a few seconds for his presence to finally drift away as well.

Her mother let out the breath she was holding and grabbed the red, lacy veil from the nightstand, adjusting it over her nose. "I have absolute faith in you, my dearest one. It's our time now."

Mai took one final look in the mirror, the crimson veil making her dark eyes sparkle like stars in the summer sky. "Yes. Our time.'

She wouldn't lose. The seat beside the Kazekage was hers and she would eliminate anyone who stood in her way.

~~~~~~~~~

"Lady Kumi! Lady Kumi! Where is that girl?"

The servants fussed and fretted, scurrying about the courtyard like ants.

Kumi held herself tight to the shade of the estate's south wall, focusing on the camouflage jutsu she'd perfected in the past month. Last time, it took them two hours to find her, she betted she could double that, if she could keep herself from laughing at their panicked faces.

"Lady Kumi, please! We still have so much to do before we leave! Please come out!"

She giggled into her hand, trying to keep herself perched on the thin ledge.

This was going to be the best game yet. They'd already passed her five times and couldn't detect her presence at all. Flawless execution. 

"What is the meaning of this? Why isn't she in her quarters, preparing?"

Kumi froze where she was.

The voice of her elder brother rang out over the panic like a clap of thunder. She was in trouble now.

Her fun game of hide and seek turned into hiding for real and she held her breath when he passed under her ledge.

One of the servants gave an exasperated bow. "Lord Riku, your sister has gone missing… again. We have no idea if she's even on the grounds anymore."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Kumi barely shifted her foot, trying to find the edge so she could propel herself away before he noticed.

Unfortunately, Riku always noticed.

Before she could blink, he removed the scythe behind his back and swung it in her direction. However, it wasn't the blade she worried about, but the gust of wind it summoned.

Suddenly, she was sent spiraling from the high wall. Though she managed to land on her open palm, leaping into a front flip that stopped her from falling on her butt.

Riku crossed his arm, glaring down at his sister, who was ten years his junior. "Really, Kumi."

"It was just a bit of fun. I was training."

"Training when you should be preparing for the Cleansing?"

"What do you think training is? It's preparing."

He smacked her upside the head. "Not the proper training."

Kumi winced at the throbbing in her skull and brushed her hand up and down the sore spot. "Come on, big bro, it absolutely is. Isn't part of it showing your skills? What's more impressive than my athleticism?"

"Do you think Mai is clinging to walls and hiding from her tutors? She is the competition here."

"So what? She's pretty and all, but it's not like she can do much beyond being waited on. I'd be surprised if she can even wipe her own ass without her servants attending to it first."

Riku smacked her again, harder this time. "Language! That's not the proper way for a noble lady to speak. How can you hope to compete for the seat at the Kazekage's side if you can't show proper manners? The Oribe Clan is going to wipe the floor with you and there is no way the Houki will be upstaged by them. Failure isn't an option; do you understand me?"

Kumi grumbled. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's important for me to charm this guy."

"We're doomed if you continue on like this."

"I'm plenty charming! My only real competition is Mai, who will faint if she sees a hair out of place and some Sound girl who doesn't stand a chance, regardless. Don't worry, I'll wipe the floor with both."

Despite himself, Riku smiled. He loved his younger sister's spunk. She was the fire of the Houki Clan and, if she could manage to paint herself as a true lady for five minutes, he had no doubt they would be joined with the Kazekage line by the end of the month. 

"See that you do. It's our time now, right?"

Kumi flipped her trusted daggers out of their sheaths and twirled them around her fingers. "Yep. Our time."

~~~~~~~~

Rin taped up her fingertips, hissing in pain at the papercuts that lined each one in various depths. She'd spent so much time hitting the books in the library, it seemed like they were starting to hit back.

She finished with her pinky and looked up at the window. The sun was rising, the opening night of the Cleansing would begin soon.

Her stomach twisted into knots as she looked at her reflection the water glass seated on her desk.

"It's time."


	76. Calm Before the Storm

~~~~~~Mature content ahead~~~~~~

"The calm before the storm." What an interesting phrase.

There was a time in her life, where everything she knew was a storm. Experiments that twisted her, the strange pseudo-dependent relationship her creator had with her, even her introduction to the Sand, all of it was one passing storm to the next.

The only thing she ever looked forward to, were the harbors of safety she'd find in the chaos.

The way Haru's eyes would light up when he laughed, the scrape of her pencil against a fresh sheet of paper, a job well done when a client finally found the rest that always alluded them and, of course, the fleeting moments with the love of her life.

Even if they were sparse recently.

They always seemed to be missing each other, two lonely ships passing in the night. Whether by her study schedule or his responsibilities in preparing for the Cleansing, the only time they found to be close, were in the moments either or both would pass out in bed and wake up in the other's arms.

But even that proved to be nonexistent lately.

Rin left the library just as the sun was rising.

She'd seen Koji off to bed hours ago, his nodding head disproving his claims of not being tired.

Originally, she'd planned to only spend a few more minutes reviewing her materials, but minutes turned to hours and the sound of birds calling in the dawn, let her know that another night passed. Her final night to prepare.

"Might as well try for some sleep. Don't know how much good it will do." She said to herself, stretching back over the chair.

Three or four cracks echoed through the quiet room and she grimaced.

Her steps were solitary in the lonely halls, no one more than a guard or two to acknowledge her passing.

Rin stared out the window at the sleepy village, the barest hint of stirring, when families rose to greet the day. Soon, the market would be full of noise and a part of her wished for it.

She'd come to enjoy the bustle of the Sand, especially the lilting giggles of children who passed under the windows, their shrieks and laughing voices filling her mind with springtime.

Her thoughts turned to Koji, snuggled away in his bed, sleeping soundly for the first time in his life.

How many children were like him in the Sand? In the Land of Wind or Fire or Stone? She didn't know much about the policies of local governments, other that the painstaking lessons that had been grilled into her mind the past few weeks, but she'd heard stories of how they treated orphans.

None of them impressed her.

Her eyes lost focus for a moment and sharpened on her reflection in the window. She looked tired, haggard, certainly not preferable for presentation that night.

Study be damned, sleep was a necessity.

Rin touched the bags under her eyes and sighed, making her way down the seemingly endless hallway and falling face first into the bed, who's siren's call was too great to ignore.

She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

It was this soundless sleep that made her unaware of the man sliding in beside her.

Gaara had been watching her all night.

The hours she spent crouched over the mountain of books, the meals she skipped, the endless nights of studying, all of it hurt his heart. He hated that she was going through this for him, though he knew she wouldn't complain a word to him.

He couldn't interrupt her, so he settled for watching over her instead.

He'd sent in meals, so she'd wouldn't forget to eat, he'd kept others from entering and breaking her concentration, including himself, though he allowed Koji as the boy seemed to bring her joy amid her chaos.

Recently, he'd been following her from the library to their bedroom, making sure he hung back, so she wouldn't see him.

A few nights ago, she was so tired, she didn't even make it all the way through the door, instead he found her slumped against the wall, snoring softly, a book still clutched in her hands.

Now, he settled beside her in the soft bed, trailing his finger down the curve of her jaw. "My Rin… you've fought so hard."

She sighed and turned over, snuggling into his chest without waking.

His smile was gentle, as he brushed her hair out of her face, admiring her as he did every morning.

The light of dawn filled the room in draping curtains of warmth. He would draw the shades to protect her eyes, but for the moment, he reveled in the glow it cast upon her. 

His angel, his desert rose, who bloomed with the sun and captivated him with her light. His fingers trailed down the smooth skin of her shoulder, the curve of her elbow and settled on her fair hand.

He lifted it up to his lips, kissing each finger that was wrapped in bandages from the numerous papercuts.

Rin inhaled sharply and Gaara stilled. They must still hurt even now.

He settled for kissing the back of her hand and her palm instead, holding it to his cheek, absorbing her addicting warmth.

His tired eyes closed.

This was when life made the most sense to him. When the meetings and paperwork faded away, when the voices of his counsel, his siblings, his people and his own mind quieted to nothing. 

He'd been worn too.

Of course, she was doing far more than he, but his mind was still exhausted. The preparations were never-ending, the hoops he had to jump through for security, all of it while worrying about the trial his lover would face and that she was doing all of it on his behalf.

Sometimes, the guilt felt like too much.

"I can't sleep when you squish me like that."

Her voice shot his eyes open and he realized he was indeed clutching her hand to his face. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you to rest."

"Do that and the Sand will be down one Kazekage."

He laughed and she backed up so she could see his face. He tried not to react to the exhaustion in her eyes, when she smiled. "Hello, my love."

"Hello."

"Just how long have you been sneaking in to watch me sleep?"

He thought about it, but smirked. "Just how long have you been pretending not to notice?"

Her giggle was a wave of butterflies, their wings brushing his heart when she flopped her head against the pillow. "You caught me! I noticed every time, of course. Your presence is difficult to ignore."

Gaara wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the curve of her neck. "Oh? When I do this?"

Rin bit her lower lip against the noise that longed to leave her at the sensation of his mouth against her flesh. "Mm hmm.'

That mouth trailed down past her collarbones, giving each a gentle kiss, unzipping her dress and discarding it, so that she was in a slip and nothing more. "Or this?"

The noise did leave her then, sending delicious tingles all the way down to her toes. "Gaara…"

He let out a low "hm?" as he continued to kiss the sensitive areas of her body, but she found she couldn't speak a word, let alone answer his question.

Suddenly, the wonderful kisses stopped, and he pulled back, brushing a hand through her hair. "I need to let you get some sleep. I'm being selfish."

"Wha…?" Rin began, as he started to sit up.

"I want to be with you. I miss you so much, Rin, but opening ceremonies are tonight, and you need your rest. I'm already putting you through enough with having to learn and perform everything, the least I can do is rein in my instincts long enough to give you some…"

He was on his back before he could finish.

"Silly Kazekage."

Gaara's eyes were wide, taking in the form of Rin on top of him, the morning sun making her slip of a nightgown see-through. "Rin…"

She kissed along his neck. "Everything I do…"

Her lips trailed to his chest, kissing the lines of his pecs. "Everything I've been doing…"

Those incredible lips came to his abs, the divine bubblegum tongue licking along their lines, making him pant with sensation. "Is for you."

"Rin." He moaned.

Her eyes flicked up to his face, as his fingers dug into her shoulders. "You need to rest…for the…"

She took hold of the most intimate part of him. "For what? I couldn't quite hear you."

He gasped. "Rin… please…"

Her smile was wicked. "Please what?"

Gaara couldn't say anything, words were locked away, all he knew was the pleasure she was giving him. He knew he needed to think of her over him, but the way she touched him, the mischief in her eyes and the curve of her smile, stilled the fierce sense of responsibility he had.

She continued her masterful seduction, keeping her eyes fixed on him, until release nearly came, and she moved her hips to settle on his.

Gaara's eyes rolled in the back of his head at the feeling of her body.

This was everything. Everything he ever needed, nothing like he knew he wanted, and he knew he didn't deserve a single moment of it. How could the world have been so kind to give him this?

Rin moved her hips expertly, rotating them so they both felt the pleasure and closeness they needed, and she could feel him start to drift away.

Her eyes fixed on his, knowing that guilty look of his anxiety rearing its ugly head.

Not now, not on her watch.

Her hands laced with his, bringing them above his head, as she placed her forehead on his. "Stay with me."

"But…"

"Shhh. Stay with me."

"I…Rin…I shouldn't…"

Her lips came to his ear, kissing it in glorious electric shocks. "Take me."

That was all it took.

His hands left hers and came to her curvy hips, the fingertips digging into her skin. He gasped and panted as he released the thunderstorm within him and poured into her.

Rin moaned, the smile on her face lighting up the room, even more than the morning sun.

She rocked her hips a few more times, before sliding off of him and curling into his strong arms.

He couldn't speak, couldn't think, just rode the wave of sensation, the rush of colors in his mind. Then he felt her cool fingers trail down his jaw, turning his face towards her own. Her lips were sun-warmed strawberries against his and he sighed away all the anxiety and worry he had over the past few weeks.

Rin would conquer whatever she set her mind to and even if she didn't, no one could do this for him. No one held a candle to the blinding light that was his love for her. They would be together regardless of the outcome.

He lifted her injured fingers to his mouth and kissed her left ring finger.

Rin smiled, her face flush from pleasure. "Thinking of making me your wife, Lord Fifth?"

His eyes held her. "You already are."

"What? We haven't been officially married yet. That's why I'm doing all of this nonsense."

Gaara cupped her face, pulling her into himself. "As far as I'm concerned, you, my desert rose, are my wife. I will spend every morning pleasing you, I will face the world with you at my side and no one will take that from us. You are mine."

She sighed, nuzzling her face in his strong chest, the sleepiness taking her. "And you are mine."


	77. She's a Witch

Hours passed in a dreamless sleep, warm and complete.

If they could stay in this world, this wonderful world of kindness and love, then nothing else mattered. Their limbs were heavy, their breath deep and even, it was unclear where Rin began and Gaara ended and neither felt like solving the puzzle.

Rin knew the pleasurable Eden that was denial and procrastination, but she also knew it would end, as most stints in Paradise did.

She was wasting time here, these were the few precious hours she could spend cramming in final pieces of information, practicing her steps and her speech, doing what she needed and yet, the thought of leaving the safety of his arms, made all of it seem distant and unimportant.

Gaara's breath was a steady metronome that her heart matched.

She reached up a hand to stroke around the lines of his eyes, he must have been so tired too. This would be an ordeal for both of them.

Rin wondered what the rest of the Lands of Fire and Wind would see when they looked upon the love of her life. Would they think he'd matured? Aged since the last time all the nations were joined? He'd brought the Sand to a place of prosperity and relations between the villages had never been stronger.

Her fingertips brushed over his brow and traced the mark that he kept hidden with his hair. The elegant lines of red curving together to form the word "love" and brought a smile to her face.

Despite the heaviness of her body, she rose on her elbow and trailed her lips along the symbol, feeling him shift from sleep to waking with a small. "Hm?"

"Gaara."

"Yes?"

"We need to wake up."

He groaned. "No."

Rin smiled and kissed his forehead again. "Yes, my love. We have to face this day and you have to go get all pretty for the ceremony tonight."

Gaara wrapped his arms around her and fell back to the bed, taking her down with him. "I'm plenty pretty."

He squeezed her tighter which released a stream of giggles. "That's true, but you have to get extra pretty for the delegates, or they just may call this whole thing off."

"And would that be such a bad thing?" Gaara's voice was small against her temple, but she didn't miss it.

Rin unlaced herself from his arms and sat up in bed, trailing her fingers along his. "Yes. We've both worked too hard to just turn around now. Whether I succeed or fall on my face, I'm not going to let you go on feeling like I didn't fight for you."

The Kazekage held her hand tightly. "That's supposed to be my line. I'm the one who fights for you."

She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it gently. "Not this time. You're already fighting for the entire village every single day. This time I fight for you. You just watch. I can stand against the competition…. one way or another."

She managed to sound sure, but he didn't miss the faint tightening of her grasp around his hand. He brushed her hair out of her face. "I'm sure you will."

Rin leaned into his cool palm and sighed. "Any last-minute advice?"

Gaara looked out the window at the late morning light. They were surely searching high and low for him now, the thought of him being in bed was still foreign to everyone. He could see now why so many people sought proper rest. If it felt half as good for the rest of the world, as it did being in her arms, then he understood why so many people had a hard time leaving the bedroom.

His eyes returned to her, as his hand went to the back of her head, pulling it gently to touch his. "Just keep your eyes on me. No matter what the others say or how intimidating they seem. Remember you are the one I love. You are always the one I choose."

Rin closed her eyes and Gaara kissed between them. "No, no, keep them open, my love. Look at me. Always look at me."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaara's words were sweet in her mind, as much as they were valid. Like a lighthouse in the storm, if she kept her eyes on him, she wouldn't falter in her steps. He was the prize, everything else was secondary.

Her steps brought her to the library door for a final study session, but the dusty scent of books and hushed whispers made her stop. She couldn't go in. Couldn't take one more sentence of information. She was tapped out.

Instead, Rin decided to go into the village one last time.

A brisk walk would calm her nerves before she had to be locked in her room, primped and primed to face the others. She wouldn't have an entourage of servants or even a hand maiden to assist her. It was going to be all her own efforts.

But that was best. Rin wouldn't know what to do with herself if she were being fussed and fretted over. The whole thing would be entirely too awkward.

By the sun in the clear blue sky, she guessed it was around 11 in the morning.

The village was up and running, each shop and booth sounding a cry of goods that sounded like a melody. When she first arrived, she didn't understand the tune, but now, she could sing in harmony if she wished and she liked that fact.

While she wasn't winning any popularity contests on the horizon, this fact amplified by the way the woman in the jingling veil hid her wares as Rin walked past, there were small glimmers of hope now and then.

The man at the apple booth gave her a small, shy wave.

The story-telling jewelry smith offered her a chipper "good morning" and she smiled at the crowd already swarming to hear another riveting tale of action and romance lost.

"Rin!"

She stopped her walk and turned around to the sight that brought the greatest joy and the biggest hope in this place.

Koji, and a swarm of around ten children who followed him, came running through the dusty streets.

Rin bent down to their level and held out her arms. "What a crowd this is! Why aren't you all in school?"

One of the girls offered a broken-tooth grin. "We're playing hooky on Mr. Soma."

"He's going to be so mad!"

"Too mad…" A young boy muttered, hiding his hands behind his back.

Rin was sure those hands had met the teacher's bamboo stick more than once. "My, my, he certainly will. I imagine his face will be as red as… as…"

She glanced around and the apple cart she'd passed before. "As those apples over there."

Rin laughed to herself, until she noticed the hungry eyes looking at the cart. Her brow drew together. "Who hasn't eaten breakfast today?"

Slowly, a wave of little hands rose.

She sighed. "Aren't your parents feeding you before you leave for school?"

There were a few exchanged glances, each shamed and sad.

"What? What's wrong?"

Koji stepped closer to one of the smaller boys and put his hand on his shoulder. "We're thh…he… or…or…orphans here."

Rin's jaw dropped. "All of you?!"

They nodded.

The girl with the open grin frowned. "Our parents were killed in the Great War. Some live with relatives, but most of us make do with what our families left."

"And the Sand is happy to let you live on your own? Who is the oldest?"

A blonde boy raised his hand. "I'm Akira. I'm thirteen. I look in on the younger ones sometimes."

Rin nodded and noticed the young girl hiding behind him. "And the youngest?"

He bumped her and she surfaced, holding his hand. "Sara."

"And how old are you, Sara?"

She held up five fingers.

Rin's heart sank. "I see and if it's like this here, I assume it's the same in other villages as well?"

The children all shrugged, Koji replying. "D…d…don't you h…have orphans in the S…S..Sound?"

They all looked at him as if he'd said a dirty word and back to her. The curiosity about the village no one went to and rarely spoke of was tantalizing.

Rin stood up, brushing the dust off her legs. "Who wants to hear about where I came from?"

The once hesitant hands shot up and Rin laughed. "Well, I can't tell a story on an empty stomach. Why don't we buy some apples from that nice man and make a picnic of it?"

"Yay!"

She approached the booth, where the owner was already packaging up the fruit, clearly eavesdropping on the scene. To her surprise, he not only gave more than she ordered, but a discount as well.

Her wallet was comfy and her heart warm. Perhaps there was kindness in the Sand, after all?

Rin walked over to the steps of the Kazekage's house with her crowd of little listeners in tow, a feminine Pied Piper to everyone who passed.

She sat on the step and drew Sara on her lap, giving the bag of apples to her faithful Koji to pass around.

"Okay, everyone, take an apple and I'll tell you about the Village hidden in the Sound."

The audience of rapt attention was a rare sight as it was, but the girl sitting in the middle of it, with a Sand child on her lap, was enough to make the people passing by freeze in their tracks.

It wasn't just children who were curious.

Rin told them about the high mountains filled with trees and how the tops of them seemed like they could reach the sky. She moved her arm in a wave motion to describe the flowing river that passed by her home and all the flowers she would pick for her sleeping potions.

The girls seemed especially interested in that part, if not one or two of the boys.

"Did you like picking flowers when you were a child?" One of the little girls asked.

Rin smiled and winked at her. "I was never a child."

There was a chorus of gasps and confused faces.

"What do you mean?"

"All grownups were kids once."

Rin's smiled turned mischievous. "I'm not like other grownups."

"It's because she's a witch" A plucky little boy offered, and he received a bop on the head from Koji.

"Sh…she's not a w..w…witch."

The boy rubbed his head. "That's what the grownups are saying! They said she put a spell on Lord Fifth and that's why she's allowed to live in the mansion."

Rin let out a laugh that sounded like sunshine. "Is that what I did?!"

She laughed so loud and so fully that the children around her started to laugh as well and, unbeknownst to her, the adults who were listening, started to chuckle as well.

Rin held her side, the pain of her laughter bending her over, nearly lodging Sara from her lap.

She righted the little girl and wiped a tear away. "Ah, that was a good laugh. No, I can't say I have the honor of being a witch, but I am very good with magic."

Their eyes turned to her with renewed interest and the boy who called her a witch drew close. "What kind of magic can you do?"

Rin's face melted into a smirk. "I can make boys change color."

"What? No one can do that!"

She gave him a "come-hither" gesture with her finger and when he did, she planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

The boy rubbed his hand on his face. "Ew! Girl cooties!"

Rin held out a hand. "And behold! The boy has turned red!"

There were peals of laughter as two of the girls started chasing the red-faced boy, claiming they could do the magic too.

The watching adults chuckled and went back to their work, suddenly feeling themselves more at ease with the sight of the strange Sound girl.

There was a magic Rin could do, but it wasn't in charms or hexes, she had the ability to make people feel at home around her and it was working.

She was so focused on the chasing children to her right and the little one nuzzled on her lap, that she didn't notice the beautiful girl making her way to the mansion, full entourage in tow.

Not until that entourage stopped right in front of her.


	78. Prayers

A sudden shadow blocked the hot afternoon sun.

At any other time, Rin would have welcomed a break in the heat or maybe even the hope of rain, but this shadow didn't feel friendly.

Instead, it took the form of an impossibly tall man, with features so sharp, he reminded her of a hawk, and she was the mouse he was looking to devour.

Rin shielded her eyes and looked up at him. "Can I help you?"

The man raised a carefully trimmed eyebrow. "You certainly may."

"And I would do that by…"

"By moving. You're blocking our path."

Rin looked past the man at the crowd of at least twenty people, if not more, standing around what looked like a small palanquin, where she imagined a very important person was sitting.

She stood up, Sara resting on her hip. "I'm sorry, we didn't see you there."

He rolled his dark eyes. "Hard to see anything when you're galivanting with children. Honestly, why aren't they in school? Where are your parents? They should be ashamed of this behavior."

The once frolicking orphans came to her side, hiding behind the woman who felt the safest in this standoff.

Rin stood a bit straighter. "These children don't have parents. They're just enjoying a day off, that's all."

The man scoffed. "So, this is where the trash of the Sand is congregating now? And you, you're responsible for these rats? Are you their nurse? Remove them at once! An important lady is coming through and I won't have their stench disturbing her."

She gritted her teeth, feeling that fire sparking within her. "We will gladly move for you, but you won't insult these children. They aren't rats, they are precious, just like you and me."

"Ha! Like me? Do you even know who I am?"

Rin's eyes narrowed. "No, but I have a feeling you'll take much pride in telling me."

His sharp features melted into surprise and then distain. "I am the head of the Oribe clan, you insolent welp. Who are you to speak to me this way?"

The name rang through her mind like a sickening bell.

The Oribe clan, known for their wealth and terrifying genjutsu. A very prominent family in the Sand and one of her competitors.

She looked to the palanquin again and knew the important person waiting inside was Mai Oribe, prized first born daughter and deadly from what she'd read.

It didn't matter, she wouldn't stand by and let this man insult children, regardless of his status. Rin fixed her jaw. "Wonderful to meet you, Lord Oribe. Since you were so courteous with your introduction, I'll make mine as well."

She hiked Sara up in her arms, matching his fierce gaze. "I am Rin Ito."

He made a face, as she took the hand of one of the little boys and parted the children for him.

He sneered. "Rin Ito, trash of the Sound."

Rin smiled at the name and looked over her shoulder. "And the true bride of the Kazekage. Good day to you, sir."

There were appalled gasps as she led the children away from the steps, her voice high and lilting. "Come children, let's go drop you off with Mr. Soma. He must be worried by now and as it was pointed out to us, there are rats on these stairs. We certainly don't want to get infected with their filth, now do we?"

Giggles and rushed feet followed her away from the scene, but they were drowned out by the sputtering of the head of the Oribe clan. "Wh…what insolence! What an impudent girl! It's no wonder the Council is holding the Cleansing this year! She's no proper bride for the Kazekage, she isn't even worth being matched with a dog!"

There were nods of agreement from the surrounding entourage, as they continued their trek inside.

What they didn't notice, were the elegant, kohl-lined eyes peeking out from the curtain of the palanquin, who had seen the entire thing.

She watched the strange girl walk away, circled by children, all of them pawing for her attention. "Interesting."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaara stood by the window, staring out at the scene that just took place. He couldn't hear what happened, but he saw the whole thing and he balled his hands into fists. "Control your temper, Rin. Control your temper."

She hiked a small girl up on her hip, took the hand of a little boy and left the scene, but by the way the head of the clan was gesturing after her, he couldn't imagine the meeting went well.

Gaara slumped into his office chair and rested his face in his hands. This was going to be a problem.

The Oribe clan weren't the ones to insult.

He groaned when Temari gave a quick knock and entered. "Good afternoon, Gaara. I'm here to report that the Oribe clan has just arrived at our front door and…."

She noticed the position he was in. "What has she done now?"

He almost laughed at the amazing perception his sister had, but he knew this would be an ongoing conversation between them. His desert rose had a temper like a viper and that wasn't going to be tamed any time soon.

"I trust they've been shown to their quarters?"

Temari looked to the black blinder tucked beneath her arm. "Yes, however, they've brought quite the entourage with them. I'm not sure if we can accommodate so many, along with the Houki clan, when they arrive."

"We'll make room. When are they Houki supposed to arrive? Now?"

Temari gave an annoyed grunt. "Yes, it seems Lady Kumi is as late as ever. That's at least one thing our Rin has over her. She's always punctual."

Gaara looked up from his hands and smiled. "Our Rin?"

His sister blushed slightly. "Don't tell Kankuro I said that."

He nodded. "Not a word. Can I trust that you're rooting for her as well?"

"Of course, I am. But I, as you must pretend to be, am supportive of all the applicants."

Gaara scoffed and sat back in his chair. "What a ridiculous farce. It's clear to the village how I feel about Rin. Why should I pretend to be any other way?"

She snapped her file shut. "Because you will gain nothing by insulting these families. Remember what we discussed in practice?"

"Yes. Painfully."

"What are we going to do tonight?"

He sighed. "Host the ceremonial meal and greet the applicants impartially."

"A smile won't kill you."

"Rin might."

Temari smirked at that. "She understands what you must do. You know that. Don't use her as an excuse for poor behavior."

"Yes, Mother."

She scoffed. "May we continue or are you going to act like a child?"

"I'm sorry, continue."

Temari tucked the file back in her arm. "You will greet each applicant warmly and politely. You will engage with their representatives and hear why they believe their prize is the best. You will say a few words at the dinner table and continue to entertain them throughout the night, where I will come and politely dismiss you until tomorrow's festivities."

"I understand."

"Let's make sure you understand what else I've told you. You will not show favoritism to Rin in any fashion and trust me, they will be looking for it. Any indication that you are not being fair in this ceremony and there will be hell to pay from the nobles. So, for the duration of the Cleansing, you will not be permitted to be alone with Rin and certainly not sleep with her or engage in any physical acts."

Gaara's face reddened. "I understand, Temari. We don't need to go through this again."

"No kissing, hugging, hand holding, groping…."

"Yes, Temari! I understand!"

She smiled. "Good. I'll excuse myself then. You will be expected in the grand hall at sunset. Ensure you wear something nice."

"Are you going to pick that out for me too?"

Her eyes were wicked. "Who says I haven't?"

Gaara's brow drew together as she bowed and left the room before he could comment further.

He looked back out the window as the final members of the Oribe clan made their way inside. "This whole thing is ridiculous, but…"

His eyes turned up to the clear sky and he prayed. "Please let her do well."


	79. Grand Entrance

"And the true bride of the Kazekage." The words circled through her mind like bees around a particularly alluring flower.

While the statement was true, it didn't serve Rin to aggravate the head of the Oribe clan, particularly if she were going to hold any hope of working with them in the future. That was a dumb, proud move, but what was more upsetting was how she knew she would do it again, if he pushed her.

Something about the arrogance of the Sand just rubbed her the wrong way.

The tiny hands that had been in her grasp were gone and now she waited in front of her mirror in the silent bedroom.

Their cries of, "Good luck Rin! We're rooting for you!" Stayed in her mind. At least there were a few people in the village who wanted her to stay, though she doubted the rest of the Sand would share that sentiment.

Especially when they saw her in comparison to the other two.

The other girls had servants to help him them, days of preparation for beauty's sake. Rin didn't have such luxury.

She'd spent every single hour of the day studying. There was no time for long baths, lotions or relaxation, which was ironic considering her profession.

Her hair wasn't cooperating. Her skin was burnt from her afternoon out and the bags beneath her eyes were nothing to scoff at. Hardly her best form.

Rin sighed, lifting the powder brush to dab at the dark shadows. "Come on Ito, you were created to entice men! Prove it!"

She smacked the edges of her face a few times and then rested her forehead on the desk. "Enticing indeed. I look like a tired rat."

The scent of jasmine drew her attention to the lotion bottle she carried with her to every appointment.

Her head still fixed to the desk, she reached over and cradled it to her chest, the image of Gaara holding her from behind, drinking in the scent of flowers at her neck, filled her body with delicious tingles.

He always loved the way she smelled.

Rin dabbed her fingers in the light scent and trailed it along the curve of her shoulders, and the inside of her wrists.

She wasn't going to lose to them.

The jade comb, a gift from Orochimaru, took its turn at calming the mess of tangles from the hot wind.

She wasn't going to lose to them.

The unruly locks twisted back into a bun and stayed in place with the same dangling hairpiece she wore the first night she met Gaara.

She wasn't going to lose.

This mantra repeated in her head over and over, as she slipped into her best kimono, the purple and black one with koi swimming up the side. She draped the fabric of her obi over her shoulder and twisted her body until it was snug to her waist, but not so much that she couldn't breathe.

It would have been much easier with another person, but Rin was used to doing things on her own. The world wouldn't hand her anything, she had to fight for what she wanted. This was no different than any battle in the mind or any experiment forced upon her.

By the time she'd finished, Rin took one final look in the mirror. It wasn't the greatest beauty she'd accomplished, but it was better than where she started and would have to do for now.

The giant shoes that sent her tumbling with her first arrival remained safely tucked in the closet. There was NO way she would allow this to happen in front of the noble families, fashion or tradition be damned.

Her feet snuggled into some safe flats and she covered them with the hem of her kimono for safety.

Knock, knock.

Rin smiled, Gaara must have come to see her off.

"Come in." She called and the door opened to reveal not the love of her life, but the small boy who had become her shadow.

"Oh, Koji."

He noticed the slight disappointment in her voice but tried to ignore it. "I'm s…s…supposed to av..v..void you for a wh…wh….while."

"Avoid me? Why? Who says?"

"K…K….K."

She knew how hard "k" was for him, so she offered. "Kankuro did?"

Koji nodded. "He s…s…said I'd m…m…make you l…l…look b…b…bad."

Rin felt her temper rise but quieted it. She knew why Kankuro said that, cruel as it may sound, but he was right. In this fight against nobles, she was already considered trash, walking in with a boy from the streets would only add to that image.

The harshness of it left a bitter taste on her tongue, but Koji didn't need to know that ugly truth.

With a gentle sweep of her arm, she held them open to the boy, who happily entered her embrace. "Well, my brave knight, it's because those other girls don't have a champion of their own. Can't you imagine how jealous they would be? All they have are servants and stuffy old men. I have the bravest boy in the Sand. Who is the lucky one here?"

Koji nestled into her lap, wrapping his arms around her neck and holding himself close.

He was a little too big for such an action, but Rin didn't mind. She wasn't feeling all that secure either. She'd welcome any acts of kindness she could get tonight.

Koji sighed. "Y…y…you need to g..g…go now?"

"So, it would seem."

"Are y..you s..s..scared?"

Rin pulled back slightly and regarded him. "Look at my face. Do I look scared?"

His dark eyes scanned her features, as he had many times when she wasn't looking. "No."

Her familiar smirk filled his cheeks with red, as she bopped his nose. "Fooled you, didn't I?"

"Y…you're s…scared? B…b…ut you're a g…g…grown up."

Rin sighed and hugged the boy again. "All grown ups get scared, Koji. We're just better at hiding it. In fact, some adults are scared all the time. I'm scared of making a fool of myself in there."

"H…h..how?"

She shrugged. "I won't be as smart or as pretty as the other girls. Lord Fifth will look silly for wanting to be with me. All the hard work, that you helped me with, will be for nothing."

To her surprise, Koji tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, making sure not to disturb the dangling flower piece. "I th…th..think you're very p…p…pretty."

"Smart too?"

He hesitated and Rin gave a loud laugh, pulling him close and giving him a good tickle, which made him erupt in laughter.

"You hesitated! I can't believe you hesitated in how smart I am!"

"Y…you're s…s…smart! S… s….smart!"

She joined his laughter until another knock sounded at the door.

"Come in." Rin giggled, but it faded away when the door opened and Kankuro walked in. "Sorry to disturb the fun, but it's time to go. I've come to escort you, Rin."

The bright feeling of love Koji gave her plummeted to dread in her stomach. Rin sighed and gently set Koji down, patting his head. "Stay here in the room tonight. You can play with my herbs if you like but put them back when you're done. Make sure you don't go wandering around the estate until these people leave."

He nodded and gave her hand a final squeeze.

Kankuro held out his arm to her. "Shall we?"

She took it and allowed him to help her down the long hallways and twisting stairs.

Their footsteps were echoing in the silence, each one bringing her closer and closer to the party, which could be heard rising up from the second floor.

Rin looked up to Kankuro, who had his finest attire on. "Well, don't you look strapping?"

He glanced down at her. "As do you. I remember that kimono."

She smiled. "Yes, I thought you would."

He steadied her on the last stair and patted her hand. "Crazy to think this is how it all began, isn't it?"

Rin felt a wave of nostalgia. "It is. About what you said to Koji…"

"I knew you wouldn't like it, but it's the truth."

She held up a hand to his shoulder, so that he would look at her. "I know why you did."

"Oh… well that wasn't the fight I anticipated."

"Trust me, it was going to be, but then I realized why you bothered to say anything anyway. You want me to succeed, don't you? So, you're trying to eliminate any possible thing the nobles could use against me."

Kankuro shifted under her gaze, biting his lower lip. "Yeah. We kind of like you, okay?"

She smiled. "Even Temari?"

His eyes sparked. "Especially Temari. She's the one that's been rushing around making sure everything is in place. If it's possible, she's even more high strung than usual."

"I can't even imagine that."

"It's safe to say, I haven't seen her this strict since the war and that's saying something."

Rin looked down, feeling her stomach twist. "I just hope I don't let you down. Everyone is working so hard for me and I…"

"That's what family does."

Her heart stammered a beat. She looked up to Kankuro again, who was watching her with warmth in his eyes. He patted her hand again. "You're family, Rin. No matter what they say in there. We already think of you as our sister."

She was going to cry. The tears were coming and there was no stopping them, so Kankuro patted a handkerchief to her eyes. "Hey now, none of that. Your face will run everywhere. Trust me, I know makeup."

Rin laughed dabbing at her eyes. "You're right. How do I look? Presentable?"

He nodded. "Like you are going to kick some noble ass. I can't show you any favoritism anymore, so from now on, you get strict Kankuro. Just know, we're all silently rooting for you, okay?"

"Okay."

The double doors that stood between her and the party seemed like the guards to the gates of hell.

Kankuro inhaled. "Ready?"

Rin exhaled. "Let's do this."

"Spoken like a Sand-born. Here we go."

The doors opened to the deafening conversation of the full dining room. The long table with tall chairs and fine china looked like something out of a fairytale.

Everything was shined, polished and perfectly placed, along with the people seated in their evening wear.

The two honored clans were in their livery, the Oribe wearing the bright blue of the sky and the Houki the jade green, with golden medals of military honor on display.

The Kazekage, along with Temari and Kankuro, wore the red of their clan, which the present councilmembers adorned for respect, deep crimson amongst the other colors and there was Rin, in her kimono, no clan, no entourage, a small spot of purple standing out like a bruised thumb in a rainbow of coordinated colors.

Her ears echoed like the roar of the tide, so much that she almost missed the announcer who was stationed at the door. "Our final contender has arrived. All three brides will assemble at the door and present themselves to the Lord Kazekage."

Kankuro cleared his throat, gently pushing her to where she was meant to stand.

She didn't look at the other two, who were whispering to each other at her approach. She didn't look at the waves of eyes who were assessing her every move. All she could see, were the two sea-green eyes staring at her from his chair.

He didn't look happy.


	80. The Three Brides

"Our final contender has arrived. All three brides will assemble at the door and present themselves to the Lord Kazekage."

The announcer's words dulled in Rin's ears.

She was only vaguely aware of the two women standing beside her, despite the fact they were clearly whispering. Her notice wasn't on the meticulous details of the dinner table, the help buzzing around to fill drinks and remove plates or even that all the attention of the room was on her, judging her in competition with the other contenders.

All she could focus on, was the look of anger and annoyance in Gaara's eyes.

Her heart sank a bit. Why was he looking at her like that?

Rin did a quick scan of the other contenders and judged herself as well.

Without giving into vanity or pride, she didn't look that far off in terms of refinement or beauty. She'd worn her best, did herself up as much as she could, even without the help of an entourage.

She at least looked like she belonged beside them, so why?

Suddenly, they were being shuffled out the door and Rin blinked absently. "I thought we were about to be presented?"

No one answered.

Rin kept eye contact with Gaara until the large doors were closed and she looked behind her at the guardians who were escorting their charges.

They spoke in low whispers, constantly adjusting small things and giving sidelong glances to Rin, who nervously clasped her hands in front of her.

The further they moved from the dinning hall, the more confused and concerned she became.

She cleared her throat. "Would someone tell me what's going on? The announcer said we would be presented to Gaara, just now."

They stopped at that.

Both girls turned and regarded her, the shorter of the two, giving a low whistle. "You call him by his first name?"

Rin felt acutely aware of the appalled looks on their escort's faces, the prim teacher from Oribe clan looking at her like trash and the rough tutor of Houki clan trying to judge whether he should laugh or scorn her.

Her chin dipped down, her cheeks filling red. "I thought we were to be presented to the Lord Kazekage. That's what the announcer said before."

The Oribe girl studied her but said nothing.

Her teacher, who reminded Rin of an old, stuffy stork, responded on her behalf. "You really know nothing, do you? What impropriety would it be to have our girls presented in a dinning room like common meat? The Kazekage will be taking his meal with the heads of each clan, listening to why their offer is the better one and after he's satisfied with their verbal presentation, the clans will move to the grand hall and he'll be able to see for himself if their claims are true."

"Seems like an awful lot of bother. Why didn't we just wait in the grand hall to begin with?"

The teacher ruffled her feathers. "Because that's how things are done."

"Any particular reason beyond that?"

"Well… it…. It's just tradition. No more questions!"

Rin's mouth quirked to the side, as she considered this, but she didn't miss how the contender from the Houki clan smirked and how even the Oribe girl seemed to smile behind her veil.

Whether that was at her escort's fluster or Rin's lack of knowledge, she couldn't be sure.

Either way, she felt it was safe to follow as closely behind as she could.

She didn't have an escort to remind her of what to say or do, like these two did. Though, by watching the them more carefully, she wasn't sure how much good the constant lecturing was doing.

They were stopped by a wall and told to stand there until the clans finished their meal.

Rin looked around and thought to herself. "They could have at least offered us chairs. Rude."

She leaned against the wall and waited for the sinking feeling in her stomach to quiet, as the other two looked on in silence.

Rin tried to listen in on the whispers of both escorts, gleaning what information she could to help with what would happen next, but they weren't giving much beyond odd pep talks.

"Remember, you are grace, you are elegance. Charm him. Keep his eyes on you."

Not likely.

"Don't disappoint us. You've been training your entire life for this day. This is your moment."

Her entire life? That's what this means to them?

Rin suddenly pitied the other two, though, she supposed, her past wasn't anything to be proud of either. They were designed to please one man, she was designed to please as many as her creator saw fit.

It wasn't fair to feel sorry for them.

All at once, the escorts finished their final words of wisdom and left the three brides alone in their hall, as they took their seats inside. Dinner must have been wrapping up quicker than they expected.

She hoped this meant Gaara wasn't impressed by what was being offered.

When the two teachers left, the Houki girl let out a huge sigh of relief. "Finally!"

Rin glanced in her direction as she stretched her arms above her head.

The girl instantly started fussing with her gown, a lovely green dress that made her look like a forest nymph. "I need to loosen this thing. It's killing me!"

She turned her attention to Rin. "Give me a hand?"

Rin was surprised at the request, but nodded, taking hold of the laces in the back. It was true, they were far too tight for her frame and Rin set to loosening them as gently as she could.

She marveled at the sheer tone of the muscles in her back and the owner of them noticed. "Not your typical debutant, huh? You should have seen the work they had to put in to even get me in this dress in the first place. I tore the first two in less than five minutes."

Rin gave a small chuckle. "They take some getting used to, don't they?" She finished loosening the ties. "How is that?"

The girl placed a hand to her stomach and gave a large exhale. "Perfect. Thanks!"

"Happy to help."

She turned around and offered a hand. "The name is Kumi. I'm the second daughter of the Houki clan and you're Rin Ito, from the Sound, aren't ya?"

Rin took her hand and was surprised at the strength in it. "Yes. I've heard of you, Lady Kumi."

Kumi looked as if she was dying. "Oh, please don't call me that! It's bad enough to hear the servants do it. All I've heard the past two months has been 'Lady Kumi this' and 'Lady Kumi that' and I'm sick of it. Just give me a sword and leave me be."

Rin laughed. "Sounds like you're quite the warrior. That must be so exciting."

Kumi smiled and it took up her entire face. Her eyes curved into crescent moons, with a crinkling of her nose that would make anyone melt to look on her. "It is! I'd much rather be in the field than in all this get-up, but what are you gonna do? Duty calls and all that."

"I see."

She flicked a thumb over her shoulder. "Not Mai over there, she's been training for this day her entire life, haven't ya Mai?"

The tall girl didn't look their way, but she gave a slight nod, the jingling of her veil the only sound she offered.

Rin took a moment to scan her and felt her heart flutter at the sight.

Mai Oribe was something out of a dream.

Her long, midnight black hair, fell in waves down her back, the top half of it pinned up in elaborate braids, that were twisted to form a rose design.

Her built was tall, as was befitting of the rest of her clan, but not so much that she would tower.

She could look a man in his eyes and that would be his downfall, for when she decided to relent and give Rin her attention, the intensity of her eyes sucked the air out of the room.

They were the most vibrant green and try as she might, Rin knew she would never find an accurate description for them. They were the color of sunlight through trees, of golden treasure locked within nature's kiss; warm, exotic, intoxicating and very dangerous.

They held something Kumi's did not, venom. She would find no alley here. These eyes belonged to someone who would destroy everyone in her path to get what she wanted.

This was no desert rose as her red sari decorated her to be, she was a viper and her gaze was fixed on her prey.

Mai turned her entire body to face Rin now, stepping forward so that she was face to face with her. "Rin Ito."

"Yes?"

Her lovely bronzed skin made Rin look pale and sickly in comparison, the jewels in her ears and gentle ring of her nose shone with the surrounding lights like stars.

She was a work of art; living, breathing art.

Those dangerous eyes flicked up and down, regarding her not as trash like her father did this afternoon or her escort did moments earlier, but as something else. "You won't defeat me."

"There is nothing to defeat."

She scoffed and it sounded like a hiss. "So sure, of yourself."

"I am."

"Why? Because he loves you?"

"Yes."

The viper narrowed her gaze, freezing the room around them with her presence. "For now, but you will learn something important by the end of this ceremony."

Rin waited.

Mai's voice lowered to a deadly whisper. "Men's hearts are not made of the earth, nor are they mountains that stand firm. They are creatures of the air and they will move as the wind takes them. He's been flying beside you for a time, but the winds are changing. I hope you'll have the same pride when that happens, as you did this afternoon. I'd hate to see your spirit crushed at the end. It won't be nearly as much fun that way."

Rin held her gaze, refusing to give her the satisfaction of backing down.

She could read this girl without using her gift. This was a woman with a dream, and it wouldn't be shattered by anyone or anything that stood in her way. A fanatic in her right. Passionate, dramatic and determined.

Who made her this way?

Kumi cleared her throat and stood in between them. "Hey now, that's enough of that. Save it for the grand hall, ladies. It looks like dinner is done. You're up first, Mai."

The prized daughter of the Oribe clan, gave Rin one final look and turned to face the large, double doors of the hall, where inside, the families had gathered and Gaara had taken his seat at the head of the room.

She glided in and the doors slammed shut behind her.


	81. Devastating Demonstrations

The slamming of the doors reverberated in the hallways, deafening and absolute as Mai's resolve.

Kumi laced her hands behind her head and let out a long breath. "Sorry about that, Mai has always been intense."

Rin ran her hands up and down her arms. "Has she?"

"Yeah. We're only a year apart, so we've practically grown up together. Her family is nearly as big of deal as mine."

"The Houki produce the Sand's greatest generals, don't they?"

Kumi looked her over and smiled. "You did your homework on us. Yep! My clan has been responsible for kicking ass and taking names since the Sand was formed. The Oribe oversee the trading routes, but up until recently, war was more important than trade, so my family held the highest order in the village."

Rin crossed her arms, trying to stop the shivers that were left in Mai's wake. "That's changed?"

"You could say that. The Oribe clan has always been the wealthiest, that's for sure and they love to remind everyone of that. Snobs, if you ask me."

Rin smiled. It was nice to speak plainly with someone for a change, but she wondered how long the friendliness would last?

"I see. So, both of your families are expecting a lot out of this, aren't they?"

Kumi lowered her arms, her face losing a bit of the light she once had. "Yeah. It's been expected for years that one of us would marry the Kazekage… but then you came along."

Her eyes drifted to the smaller girl. "Do you love him?"

She shrugged. "Nah, he's cute and all, but he's not really my type. I like them big like a bear."

Rin felt a sigh of relief leave her chest, until Kumi took her wrist and pulled her over to the crack of the door, so they could peer inside.

She got down on one knee, not paying any attention to her dress, while Rin bent over her, sharing the small peep hole.

The room was still as a graveyard, all the families seated in the hall as silent spectators.

Standing in the middle of the grand hall, was Mai, in all her refinement. She glided forward, a ghost among phantoms, not a single hair or step out of place.

"Presenting, the eldest daughter of the Oribe clan, Lady Mai."

Mai tucked one foot behind the other and bent herself low, the motion so graceful, so fluid, it appeared as if she were dancing.

Gaara sat in his chair; Temari to his right, Kankuro on his left, all three silently observing the show before them, their faces unreadable, even to Rin.

Her eyes flicked from the lovely girl, to the man of her dreams and back.

What was he thinking when he stared at her? If Rin's breath were drawn from her lungs, how couldn't his be? He was a man and she was a diamond in the rough. It was impossible not to notice.

The announcer's voice broke the silence. "As a special greeting, each contending bride will present a talent befitting of their clan. Lady Oribe, whenever you feel ready."

All eyes were on the woman in red.

Rin knew was coming, but she wasn't sure how.

The Oribe clan were known for their genjutsu, but she'd never seen it up close. What kind of illusion would she present before this large of a crowd?

Mai raised her hands above her head, the jewels and dangling chains clinking softly in the silence. She inhaled a deep breath and whispered the name of her jutsu, but it was so soft, Rin didn't catch it.

What she did notice, were the showers of rose petals that fell from the ceiling.

Cascading red flowers filling the hall with their intoxicating scent, releasing pleased and wondered noises from the spectators around them.

A few petals found their way to the Kazekage's shoulder and formed a single, solitary bird that rested there, singing a lovely tune, before it evaporated into thin air.

As quickly as the petals came, they disappeared again, and a gentle applause followed her demonstration.

It may have been lovely, but she also managed to cast her genjutsu on the entire hall, including the Kazekage.

That took a level of chakra control that one could never train to achieve; it was natural talent from the Oribe clan and very attractive.

The attending councilmembers in the front row were amongst the loudest to applaud, their praise reaching Rin's ears even from the back of the hall.

It was clear who they favored.

Mai bowed again and stayed low this time, like a ballerina completing her dance and reveling in the applause.

The scent of roses was still in her nose, but all of Rin's senses were attuned to Gaara, who was watching with an impassive face.

He stood from his chair and stepped down the few stairs, walking to meet Mai in the middle of the hall.

His gloved hand reached out to her, his voice commanding, but soft at the same time. "That was lovely. I welcome you, Lady Mai. Please rise."

She did and it was just as graceful as her bow.

When her hand slid into his, Gaara lifted it to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, sending a wave of heat down Rin's back.

Below her, Kumi laughed softly. "Simmer down there, lover-girl. It's customary that he greets us this way. I can feel your fire all the way down here."

Rin bit the inside of her cheek. No one said anything about him being physical with the other girls. Nothing in her training prepared her for that.

Mai came to full height, her captivating eyes seizing the Kazekage in their wake. "Thank you, Lord Fifth. It's an honor to be here."

"I look forward to the rest of your visit. Thank you for representing your clan in the Cleansing."

Then, surprising everyone, she lifted the hand he kissed to her veil, unclipping it to reveal the lovely face that waited below.

There was a raise of gasps from the families, whispers of:

"Lovely."

"Perfection."

"Beautiful."

Each, filling Rin's cheeks with red and her stomach with dread, especially when she noticed the look in Gaara's eyes when he looked upon her bare face.

Mai gave him a smile that looked secret and forbidden and solely his. "I've been waiting for this day my entire life. Thank you, my Lord."

Though Rin couldn't see the smile from her vantage point, she knew it was there by the slight blush on her lover's face, when he gave a slight bow and walked Mai over to where her family was waiting to receive her.

Kumi let out a low whistle. "Damn, she's got him."

"She doesn't have anything."

The shorter girl stood up to full height and gave Rin an incredulous look. "You sure? You saw his face. If there is anything, I know from growing up with her, it's that when a boy looks at Mai, like the Kazekage did, it doesn't take long before they are vetting for her hand. I've seen it happen over and over, ever since we were twelve."

Rin's hands curled into fists at her sides. "I'm not worried. Gaara loves me. He won't be vetting for anything. Besides, it's not like Mai actually wants to be with him."

"What?"

"You just said that it's been expected of the two of you. Expected doesn't mean love."

Kumi shook her head, her bright eyes sad as she regarded Rin. "That's where you're wrong. He may not be my type, but Mai has loved Lord Gaara since we were children. He's all she's ever talked about, even when he was possessed with the One-Tail and everyone else was terrified, she was still set on marrying him one day."

Rin's mouth felt dry.

A representative from the Houki clan came to inform her, that it was her turn to present.

Kumi gave Rin one final look. "Oh, and just because he isn't my type, don't count me out yet. I'm the prized daughter of the Houki clan and if I'm seated by the Kazekage, I'll have the greatest chance to command the military beside him. Mai is beauty, but I am power, and in this village, that is more important than anything."

The doors opened and closed again, leaving Rin to her thoughts.

She felt like she wanted to throw up.

~~~

Kumi entered the hall not as a graceful swan, but a proud lion, her shoulders back and her head high.

The Oribe clan rolled their eyes at her brash stance, but the Houki were proud, for they knew what was to come.

"Presenting the second daughter of the Houki clan, Lady Kumi. Her demonstration will be her mastery of taijutsu. Lady Kumi, whenever you're ready."

She gave a bow that was sharp and quick, holding out her arm to the side, her hand open, where a waiting sword was tossed to her from one of her clansmen.

In a dizzying display of twists and thrusts, her dress flowing about her like ribbons in the wind, Kumi dipped low, sliding her foot in a clean circle.

Five of her clan surrounded her, each brandishing a weapon of their choice, from katana to scythe and they attacked at once.

Kumi wasn't fazed by the mutual attack, in fact, she had the audacity to smile.

This was the greatest game in the world, and she was a star-player.

Her attacks were quick, her movements without mercy, despite these being members of her clan, she cut them down one at a time and sent them crawling back to safety.

One managed to get a hit on her, but she rolled up his arm, striking from below and sending him flying away.

The crowd let out a few gasps of awe, as she threw the sword in the air, completed two flips and caught it again, before giving a final bow before the Kazekage.

Gasps turned to riotous applause, the Houki clan on their feet, the Oribe clan giving impressed, if not reluctant, noises from their seats.

Temari's eyes were wide and it was clear to all that she wanted this girl in her troops more than anything else. She was a vital commodity hidden behind the safety of the Houki walls and that was a mistake that needed to be corrected.

The councilmembers were talking amongst themselves, clearly approving of the choices presented so far:

"That is what we need! A strong, warrior Sand-born woman to stand beside the Kazekage. She will ignite that fire in him to protect this village!"

"She's impressive yes, but there is more to ruling than brute force. The lovely Mai will enchant any foreign diplomats. Think of how the negotiations will slide in our favor and the children the two of them will create!"

Gaara approached Kumi and offered a hand to her.

She smiled at him when he said. "Welcome, Lady Kumi. That was most impressive. Oh, I'm sorry, but you have a little blood, just there."

Kumi blinked, when he pulled his handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabbed at the cut on her face where she'd taken her single hit earlier.

Before she knew it, her cheeks were feeling hot and it had nothing to do with the exertion she just demonstrated.

Maybe he could be her type, after all?

She nodded her thanks and shyly gave him her hand, which was a first as Lady Kumi never felt shy. "Thank you, my Lord. It's… it's wonderful to be here. Truly."

He escorted her to her clan, who were still whooping and hollering at her success, though the announcer was trying his best to silence them.

"Please! Quiet, my lords! Quiet! We still have one more contender!"

Rin entered the hall and, for the first time since she arrived at the Sand, not a single eye turned towards her.

There were two far more attractive prospects right in front of them.


	82. Show Yourself

The roar of applause echoed in her ears, like the pull of the ocean waves.

Rin had never been to the sea, but she'd read about it and been exposed to it in her client's memory.

He had continual nightmares about being stranded in the middle of the ocean, creatures tearing him limb from limb.

She remembered the fear of dark things circling beneath their wading bodies and had to remind herself that it wasn't her memory or her nightmare. She was there to help him process this trauma, not add to it with her own panic.

However, that didn't stop her from revisiting the scene in her dreams.

Her beloved river held no threatening creatures or roaring waves, salt didn't choke her lungs and she wasn't thrown about at the mercy of the tide.

Standing in the grand hall, hands clapping together, cheers and calls on either side, she would have given anything to dive into the cool waters of her home and disappear into the quiet.

Rin's eyes trailed along both sides of the crowd, taking in the faces who wouldn't give her the time of day and for the first time since she arrived, she felt the sting of isolation.

She didn't matter to these people, not really. Not beyond a brief curiosity or a hostile dismissal. To them, she was a bug that crawled in the path of tradition and they would see her squashed before the end of the night.

Her gaze went to the council, all of whom were ignoring her, chatting amongst themselves about the best contender out of the two they'd witnessed. She saw their furrowed brows, their excited expressions, fingers pointed at the woman of their choice and certainly, none spared in her direction.

"My Lords! Please! I beg for quiet! We still have one more contender!" The announcer's voice tried to rise above the crowd, to no avail.

He gave her a sympathetic shrug. "I'm sorry, my dear. It looks like you're out of your depth here."

Rin's stomach twisted in knots. No truer statement had ever been said. She noticed the lovely Mai, sitting in a circle of her servants and family, reveling in the sunlight of their praise. She hadn't even broken a sweat from her demonstration. Living perfection.

Kumi was holding the handkerchief she recognized as Gaara's to her cheek. Her shoulders were being jostled and proud hands came to pat her back for her wonderful demonstration of their clan's strength.

No one looked at her or acknowledged her place in this competition. She was no competition.

Suddenly, a great gust of wind rushed over the hall, sending people to their seats, their hands rushing up to protect hair and jewels from flying off.

Rin looked up to see Temari, her giant fan at its second moon, the scowl deeper on her face than usual.

Gaara sat in the middle, his fingers clutching the sides of his chair in a way that spoke to his annoyance. Though his face was a mask of impassivity, Rin could feel the heat of his mood all the way from her spot and it hurt her heart.

Kankuro stood up, clearing his throat. "My lords and ladies, it is the request of the Kazekage that you show respect to this ceremony and ALL its contenders. There is one more to demonstrate her abilities and she will receive the same amount of consideration as her predecessors."

Now, all eyes were on her and Rin realized it was better to be ignored.

The announcer nodded to his Kazekage and held out an arm in Rin's direction. "My lords, presenting Rin Ito of the….um…."

He whispered to her. "What is your clan's identifier?"

She shook her head. "I have no clan."

"Of course, you do! Everyone has a clan! What are the Ito known for?" He hissed and she offered a small shrug.

The announcer's face blushed when he nervously cleared his throat. "Rin Ito of…. the Sound."

There were whispers at the name of her village, but there always was, that was nothing new. Honestly, she shouldn't be surprised anymore. It was the curse that left their tongues and clouded their hearts, as was true of every other village.

Her eyes briefly trailed over the Oribe and the Houki daughters and she felt a pang of envy. Why couldn't she have a clan to support her as well? She didn't have traditions passed down for generations or secrets she could call upon to set her apart.

No one would be there to cheer for her.

Yua's face flashed before her eyes; a tender moment where they were cuddling in front of the fireplace, the sounds of their shop faded into the background. She smelt the scent of orange tea, the smoke trailing into the clear night, felt the woman she considered mother, brushing her hair with a gentle comb.

Then it transformed into her holding the pronged whip, torturing Haru, mocking her pain, her teeth clenched and hatred in her eyes as she tried to end everything.

The familiar anxiety crept into her lungs, robbing them of air. She felt their eyes on her, judging, critical eyes that regarded her as trash.

Her thoughts rushed through her head with a panicked edge. "What am I doing here? I haven't prepped for this my whole life! Three weeks can't compete with a lifetime. What do I know about politics and policies? I have no clan. I have nothing to show that's as impressive as they did. I'm nothing to these people."

Her watering eyes went to Mai, who was watching her from the corner of her kohl-lined gaze.

That was the proper person to be at Gaara's side. She was practically royalty already. There would be no hesitation for diplomats to fall for her charms. Compared to her grace and confidence, Rin was practically an urchin.

Kumi stopped her laughing with her clansmen and gave Rin a cocky look.

Her thoughts rushed even quicker. "And look at her! What kind of power would the Sand wield with that kind of warrior at his side? I'm out of my league here. I'm no competition. I'm nobody."

"Don't ever say that about yourself." Gaara's voice came to her memory.

Her eyes trailed up to the Kazekage's seat, where the love of her life was watching intently.

"You will never be a nobody to me."

That's what he told her weeks ago, when he unofficially asked her to marry him and the two of them started this crazy journey.

The sea green of his gaze enveloped her and so softly, she barely noticed, she saw his lips move to say. "Eyes on me."

She inhaled a deep, calming breath and stepped forward, away from the announcer and towards the middle of the hall.

What was she panicking for? She already had something neither of these families and more importantly, neither of her competitors had.

Images of his bare skin beneath her fingers, the longing in his voice when he said her name, waking up in his strong arms with the sunlight reflecting off his red hair, lingered in her mind.

She had Gaara's love and that was worth everything.

Rin raised her arms, her voice sure despite the sweat dripping down her back. "Lords and ladies of the Oribe and Houki clan."

Her eyes flittered over the council, focusing on Kaba, who was sitting in the front in all her finery. "Fair Councilmembers."

They sniffed at her words, though she didn't miss a few of them shifting, uncomfortable under her attention.

She then looked up to where the Sand siblings sat, their faces trained impassivity and her voice softened. "Lord Kazekage."

He nodded and she felt the pinpricks of a blush rise to her cheeks. She loved having all his attention, even if it were in a terrible circumstance like this. This wasn't the time to buckle, this was the time to show what she could do.

Her eyes turned to Temari and Kankuro, who, despite their best efforts, were looking at her with pride and expectation.

"I already think of you as my sister." Kankuro's words came to her mind.

She did have a family and she wouldn't let them down.

"I have no clan or a jutsu to represent myself. The name "Ito" was given to me as a courtesy. I am a member of the Sound and with that, comes certain skills. I can't enchant a room or fight a crowd of armed men, though both displays were impressive."

She spared a smile for the other girls and continued. "But there is something I can do that no one else in this room possesses. I will need a volunteer."

Not a single hand rose.

Why wasn't she surprised?

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Kankuro starting to approach her, but she stopped him with a raised hand. "Oh, no, Captain, I couldn't ask one of the Kazekage's trusted guard to give up his post just to assist me. How about…. Lady Kaba?"

All eyes turned to the old woman, who narrowed her eyes at the request. "Oh, I doubt there is anything someone like me could do for you, Ms. Ito."

She gave her most genuine smile. "Nonsense! You are perfect for my demonstration. Who better to represent the Sand's hospitality and bravery than the head of its council?"

Kaba gave her a look that could freeze the desert sun. "Fine."

She rose from her seat, her dress swishing at her feet, as she approached the middle of the hall.

The room had gone silent and the once dismissive eyes became hungry. No one knew what the Sound could do, only that they were dangerous. What would a member of their village display to be worthy of the Kazekage's hand?

Mai and Kumi were among the curious spectators, though the former would never admit her interest.

Kaba came to stand beside Rin, her mood foul and suspicious, but Rin's smile never wavered. She gave a slight bow to her reluctant volunteer and spoke so all could hear. "There we are. Now, Lady Kaba, have you and I ever shared a conversation about your past at all?"

"No."

"And have you ever divulged privileged information to me in private?"

"Certainly not. I would never be in private with you to begin with."

There were a few chuckles from the crowd and Rin joined them, unbothered. "As fiery as ever, I see. But, it would be honest to say, that you and I have never discussed anything private from your past, yes?"

"Correct."

"You swear on it?"

"I swear."

"Perfect." Rin's smile was warm, as she made a show of reaching into the secret pocket of her kimono, pulling out the red ribbon she favored so much.

Gaara straightened in his chair slightly, an action that wasn't missed by his observant sister.

Kaba gave Rin a suspicious glare, when she took her hand and wrapped the ribbon around their grasp, her voice soft and low. "It's all right. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

"Of course, you're not. You wouldn't try something like that in front of all these witnesses."

"I wouldn't try something like that because I have no desire to harm you, Kaba."

The older woman's mouth quirked to the side. "Well… good."

After the ribbon was secured, Rin reached into her pocket again and produced a small vial of oil she used for induction. "This is a combination of herbs. Nothing more. You're going to feel relaxed, but you'll be aware the entire time. Nothing happens without your consent."

"What's going to happen? What will you do to me?"

"I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm going to share something with you. You're not afraid, are you?"

Rin felt the wrinkled hand in hers tense and it took everything she had not to laugh. It was so easy to rile up the Sand.

"Of course not!"

"Good. Then close your eyes."

Kaba hesitated, looking around at the crowd and back at the strange girl from the Sound. "Why?"

"Because I have to put this oil on your lids, and I don't want it to sting."

She thought about it for a moment and fixed her mouth into a scowl but closed her eyes regardless.

Rin smiled. This was going better than she thought it would. There was something in Kaba that, despite her clear dislike of the girl or the situation, wanted to trust her. Now what that was, she couldn't be sure, but she wanted to find out.

She placed the induction oil on the top and bottom of Kaba's closed eyes and started humming a very soft melody to herself as she did. The young, smooth hand cradled the wrinkled one gently, her thumb trailing along Kaba's index finger.

There was a quiet sigh that left the woman before her and Rin didn't miss it for a second. What was it about this gentle touch that called to the councilwoman so much?

Rin took a step closer to her, placing her free hand on Kaba's forehead. "Breathe in 1…2…3. Breathe out 3…2…1."

The room was silent, all eyes focused on the pair, but as she commanded the woman's breathing, Rin noticed the rest of the room following the exercise as well.

What funny creatures humans were.

Her attention went back to the old woman, who was breathing deeply on her own now and Rin gave a small smile. She leaned closer so that her voice was a whisper only Kaba could hear. "Everything is all right. You're safe."

She removed her hand from her subject's forehead, cradling the back of her neck. Rin stepped close and rested Kaba's head on her shoulder, wrapping her arm around her waist so she wouldn't fall. "Somnam Jutsu."


	83. A Love Lost

There was resistance, but of course there would be. Nothing in the Sand was easy, not the people or their stubborn minds.

In her experience, children were the easiest to cross over. They trusted her soft voice and gentle ways, there was no reason to hide from her.

Adults were always the hardest and women, the most challenging minds of all.

They didn't naturally trust her the way their children or male counterparts did. She was a stranger and every woman had secrets she kept locked from the world.

It was safer that way.

Rin pressed through the layer that separated her consciousness from Kaba's and found it falling away quicker than she anticipated.

She practically fell through the divide and stumbled on the mental plane that was always unique.

"Well, that was unexpected." She said to herself and her voice echoed against the walls of the councilwoman's subconscious.

"Now, where is the guide? I have to do this quickly." Rin mused, jogging where she would usually stroll, taking in her surroundings at her leisure.

The walls transformed from dark to light blue, taking form of an alleyway she recognized from her many walks through the Sand. This was near the outskirts of the village.

"Okay, we're getting somewhere. What are you showing me, Kaba?"

Rin turned the corner and nearly tripped over her own feet when she spotted a young pair of lovers, hidden away in the back corner of the alley, their voices a hushed whisper.

"Oh… oh my." Rin dipped down, though she knew they wouldn't notice her presence. It just felt rude to openly stare the way she was.

The man was handsome, his deep, dark eyes reminding her of the midnight sky. He was firm of built, the kind of man who wasn't a stranger to manual labor.

"Hold me." The woman cooed and he hesitated.

"I don't know if I should."

"Why not?"

He raised his hand for her to examine, its big, heavy palm cracked with callouses. "I don't want to hurt your pretty skin. You should be touched by silks, not my rough hands."

The young woman laughed, the sound the tinkling of bells against the quiet of the alley. She took hold of his hand and kissed the inside of it. "Silly man, no silk or feather could make me feel the way you do."

His smile was melted butter on fresh baked bread. Sweet, warm happiness that drifted on the breeze even where she was sitting.

Rin wrapped her arms around herself, sighing at the scene. This was that pure love people wrote about but was rarely seen.

"Who are you?"

The voice made her jump out of her skin and she whipped around to a face she didn't recognize, but eyes she would know anywhere. They held her late at night, they pierced her core, found the best in her and they now belonged to a young woman.

"Who…who are you?"

She scanned her up and down, hands on her hips. "I asked you first."

"I'm Rin Ito of the Sound. Are you…related to Gaara, by any chance?"

The woman let out a laugh that shook the walls of the mind around them, sending a wave of light through Rin. "Well I should say so! Gaara is my son."

Her jaw dropped.

The woman standing before her had a kind face, the expression warm, but mischievous. Rin could see all three the Sand siblings in her; Temari's blonde hair, the same dimple on the right whenever Kankuro found something particularly funny and the eyes that held her world in his wake.

Rin straightened up, suddenly feeling underwhelming in comparison. This wasn't what she expected. Why would Kaba choose Gaara's mother as her guide?

"What are you doing here, Rin?" She asked.

"Just to see what Kaba has to show me. What's your name?"

She held out a hand and shook Rin's. "Karura. I'm the bride of the Kazekage."

The words lingered in the air, drifting away with Rin's thoughts. Did Kaba summon up Karura because she was comparing the two? What was she to the Councilwoman? Someone she respected or more?

"Pleasure. So, who are these two?"

Karura's green eyes looked behind Rin and she gave a soft, sad smile. "Auntie Kaba and her true love."

Rin twisted around to study them. "Auntie?"

"Yes. By marriage, though it was uncouth to discuss in public."

"I see. So, that was Kaba in her youth?"

"Mm hm."

"And the man? He doesn't look like a nobleman."

"He's not. He worked in construction."

Her attention turned to her guide. "But, Kaba is a noblewoman. How in the world did she manage this relationship?"

Karura looked at her and the expression let Rin know how silly her question was. "Do you honestly think her family would have approved of Kafu? A man who worked under the heat of the sun and left school in the third grade? Uneducated, poor, no clan name, no prospects and…"

"So wonderful."

The voice surprised Rin but didn't faze Karura, who stared at the scene sadly.

Young Kaba, nuzzled herself under Kafu's chin, her words drifting in a happy daze. "You're so wonderful to me."

"I want to take you from this place, Kaba. We'll run away together. Just you and me."

"I can't."

"You can. There must be a way. I will find a way."

"There isn't, Kafu. Every step I take is watched. The rumors have already reached my parents. I am to be married tonight and then we can never see each other again."

"I'll take you from here. You deserve your freedom."

"My father will kill you."

He held her tighter. "It will be worth it."

"Don't say such ridiculous things."

"Who cares about my life?"

"I do." Her happy voice melted into tears, as she held him close, burying her face in his chest.

Kafu wrapped her in his strong arms, his face pained. Rin knew that pain, it was the kind that gripped a soul in its claws; a monster that dressed itself in sunlight and rose petals.

Karura sighed, rested her head on the walls of the alley. "She comes back to this memory a lot."

"What happened to him?"

The guide shrugged. "What always happens to fools in love. They act foolish."

"Kaba, I have something for you." Kafu said, tilting her chin up.

"You do?"

He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a pink and white flower. "My gift. I always think of you whenever I see these blossoms. No matter how harsh the climate, they always bloom bright. Every year, they show the best of themselves. Flowers that bloom in adversity. Just like you."

Kaba sobbed as he fixed it in her hair. "Kafu…"

"I will never stop fighting for you."

"You must."

"I won't. I love you too much. I'll fight for that love. Just wait for me, Kaba. Don't lose yourself in their cold cruelty. Stay as beautiful and as kind as you are now."

The memory faded into a darkness that surrounded both Rin and her guide, but the sounds of a young woman's tears continued to echo, their pain sharp and real.

Rin looked down. "I see. This is why she's been against me from the beginning. I don't remind her of herself. I remind her of Kafu."

Karura reached forward and cupped Rin's face, the maternal touch unmistakable. "And you remind her of me too."

"I do?"

Her smile was wicked in the low light. "Of course. My aunt knows fire when she sees it."

Rin matched her smirk. "That's one of the nicer ways to describe me. Mostly it's foul-tempered and impertinent."

Karura laughed. "I was called the same things! We're so alike, it's frightening. Kaba isn't foolish. She knows that you will fight for your love no matter the obstacle, but she also knows the pain of it failing. If Gaara mourns for you, the way she mourned for Kafu, she would never forgive herself. She's worked so hard to protect him."

Rin looked down. "It seems like I've heard that before. Gaara pulls out that desire in people."

"My son isn't weak. He's much stronger than anyone around him, but his heart is new and fragile. Kaba is worried about the image and power you'll have. But she wants to trust you and a small part of her is actually begging to love you."

The words touched Rin. She would have never guessed the old bat had that in her, but she shouldn't be surprised. People were rarely as shallow as they appeared.

Her time was running out. This wasn't a relaxation casting and she would be expected to present a secret knowledge to the crowd. What could she say?

Karura smiled as she started to fade away. "You know I'm not actually his mother. I'm just an image in Kaba's mind."

"Yes. I know."

"But… still…. take care of my babies. All of them."

Rin gripped her hand. "I will."

"Then it's time to go."

The world came shooting back in a flash of color and sensation. Gone were the quiet, dark walls of Kaba's mind and returned were the hungry, curious eyes and held breaths awaiting her demonstration.

The older woman stayed resting against her shoulder, but Rin didn't miss the tears that wetted the fabric of her kimono.

Without realizing it, a wave of love and empathy rushed through the young girl and she held the councilwoman closer. "I'm sorry you went through that, Kaba. It wasn't fair to you. You should have been allowed to love who you wanted."

She whimpered softly but didn't reply.

Rin's heart hurt. "Fully awake now, in 3…2…1."

There was a slight start, but Kaba didn't leave her shoulder. Something in the woman had snapped. The desire for the closeness she never received in life, real and anguished.

Rin wasn't cruel, she respected this woman's pride and wouldn't tarnish it.

Instead, she rubbed a hand down her back, whispering. "Hey, remember where you are. People are staring."

Kaba pulled back, wiping her eyes in the process. She stared at Rin and the image of that young lover shined through her faded gaze.

Rin gave her a small smile and undid the ribbon holding them. "Don't worry. I've got this."

She turned to the crowd, clearing her throat so that her voice was heard by all. "My jutsu is complete! I present to you knowledge I wouldn't know before. A secret never whispered to another soul."

Kaba looked panicked, the memory she'd shown would ruin her. She would deny it. Deny everything. End the Cleansing now. Ruin Rin's chances before she had a chance to destroy her.

"Councilwoman Kaba is afraid of spiders and has a fondness for imported cheese from the Village hidden in the Leaf."

There were murmurs of confusion spreading through both clans:

"What kind of useless secret is that?"

"How can that talent benefit the Kazekage?"

"I wonder what kind of cheese…?"

Rin turned to look at Kaba, who hadn't pried her eyes from the girl. They shared a secret now, two in fact, the secret of devastated young love and an admiration neither would admit.

Her eyes said everything they needed, as she bowed before her. "Thank you for your participation, Councilwoman. You are a credit to your village," her voice softened, "and your nephew as well."

Kaba looked pale, but she returned the bow and hurried back to her seat.

When she found it, she went over what just happened in her mind over and over again. What had that Sound girl done to her? Why did she show her THAT memory? And why was she so certain she wouldn't use this newfound knowledge against her?

Kaba raised the hand that had been secured in the ribbon to her eye level, opening and closing it a few times.

Why did she crave the warmth of Rin's hand again?

Her eyes drifted from her hand, up to the Kazekage, who was staring at her from his seat.

When their gaze met, she felt the air leave her lungs at the expression on his face. He knew exactly how she was feeling in that moment.

She'd spent his entire life tutoring and shaping his political career, forming him into a leader, but she'd never had a tender moment with the boy she'd practically raised.

Now, they did.

He gave her a slight nod and turned his attention to his desert rose, who bowed before the murmuring crowd and returned to the back of the grand hall, since she had no clan to sit with.

They both knew Rin saw more than her lie, but Gaara also knew, that whatever it was, Rin wouldn't share it with the world.

She may not have wowed the crowd like the other two contenders, but she did something far more impressive to him, she stirred his heart with her kindness and that meant more than anything.


	84. Familiar Faces

Rin took her place at the back of the hall, in a single chair that rested near the door. Her kimono was tight, and her shoes were pinching, but that was fine. If anything, the small amounts of pain were enough to ground her to this moment.

She knew she failed this challenge, but there would be others.

Her eyes turned to the back of Kaba's head at the front of the room and by the way the woman's shoulders shook, the magnitude of what they shared and what Rin protected, was clear.

Perhaps she hadn't failed as much as she believed?

The rumblings of the crowd were like a swarm of locust, buzzing with confusion over her demonstration. They knew nothing of the Sound, beyond their involvement with attacking the Leaf and murdering the previous Kazekage.

Assassins, experiments, cruel mockeries of the human condition, but that was all and most of it was legend over fact anyway.

If her jutsu was all the Sound could do, why were they so feared to begin with? She must be hiding something more.

Rin's thoughts drifted to her village, where the people were just learning how to live on their own. Farmers mostly, some hunters and few merchants, but no one as dangerous as they believed.

Granted, there were some experiments designed with unique jutsu for Orochimaru's use, but nothing on a grand scale that would be any threat to the Sand.

For the most part, the people of her village were just confused and trying to find their way in life. They wanted to be left alone, not concocting plans to cause harm or devastation to anyone else.

They all knew suffering, why would they subject anyone else to it?

The buzzing room quieted to silence as the Kazekage stood from his seat and held his arms wide. "Lords and ladies, thank you for your attendance and consideration of this year's Cleansing. As we can all see, there are three strong contenders this year."

His eyes trailed over Mai and then Kumi, before searching for Rin. When they fell on her, she felt a swell of emotion rise. She wanted to run to him, bury her face in his shoulder and cling for dear life. She wanted all of this to disappear and for it to go back to just being the two of them, but she stilled.

Deep calming breaths, no major embarrassments tonight.

One of his hands came to cross over his chest and he bowed his head. "This opening night is now concluded. You are welcomed to stay and converse, but I will excuse myself to deliberate on what I've witnessed and heard so far. Please, enjoy your stay within our walls and do not hesitate to let us know how we can make your stay more comfortable. Thank you and goodnight."

The crowd responded in kind and kept their silence until the Kazekage and his siblings left the hall.

At the sound of the door closing, the room exploded into loud conversation.

Rin listened as the Oribe clan snuffed all other displays and praised Mai for her elegance and eloquence with the Kazekage:

"You presented yourself beautifully. There is no way either of those girls have a leg up on you."

"Did you see his face when he saw her smile? His eyes said everything."

"I don't know why those ruffians are cheering. They don't stand a chance."

Mai straightened up even taller, but Rin didn't miss how tight her shoulders were. There was something she was hiding from the others, but what could it be?

The Houki Clan's voice were louder than before, all arguing over the top of each other, as they cheered and debated about Kumi's demonstration:

"Five men! By herself! What a display!"

"This is what the Sand stands for. Strength, determination, prowess, you have them all Lady Kumi!"

"Those preened snobs will be forgotten by the end of the night. Did you see how the captain looked at you? It's clear Temari knows talent when she sees it and word has it, she is the person Lord Fifth listens to more than anyone else. We've got this in the bag!"

Kumi smiled her adorable grin at all the praise, but for some reason, it didn't seem to meet her eyes the way it had in the past.

Rin noticed she carefully folded up Gaara's handkerchief and slid it in the pocket, conveniently placed over her heart.

She felt the darkening in the atmosphere when conversation shifted her way and it was all Rin could do to keep from running out of the grand hall. She couldn't run, couldn't show any more weakness than she already had that night.

Even though she knew in her heart that no one noticed her anxiety or the way her hands clammed up, it was impossible not to comment on her lack of impressive ability compared to the other two.

She closed her eyes and waited for her breathing to calm. Be calm, be calm, breathe. Maybe if she stayed very still, they wouldn't notice her presence anymore?

Instead, her savior came in the form of a guard, who came to stand beside her, and a familiar voice grunted. "You know, you don't have to stay if you don't wish."

Her gaze trailed up to a face that filled her with smiles she didn't know he could. "Kazue."

He nodded, offering her an arm. "I've been sent to escort you back to your room. I know you would have preferred Ikki, but…"

"No," she said taking his strong arm, "I'm happy to see you. I could use some steady silence right now."

Without another word spoken, Rin rose from her chair and allowed Kazue to escort her out, but not before she glanced back over her shoulder.

Through the den of noise and chatter, the shouts and jeers and debates, she made eye contact with the other two women.

Mai, who's smile was stained-glass happiness, and Kumi, who stared at her like she was suddenly smaller than she ever felt.

Three women, all in love with the same man, and none of them willing to lose.

Rin gave a brief nod and allowed the door to close behind her without a word.

There was nothing more to be said.

~~~

Kazue stuck to his promised silence the entire walk back. He didn't have much to say most times anyway.

If anything, that was the best part of having his idiotic partner. He did all the talking so Kazue wouldn't have to say a word.

He spared a few glances down to his charge, who was uncommonly quiet.

It was unnerving to have her not chattering about or berating him for his behavior. It was even more so to notice that the pale hands, which were still clutching his arm, were trembling.

This wasn't like the Sound girl he met so long ago.

What would Ikki say? Probably get on him for not being compassionate or understanding enough. Maybe he should crack a joke? Something to make her smile. She did have a lovely smile, if he were honest with himself.

Kazue cleared his throat. "So, how did the first round go?"

She shrunk.

He grimaced. "Sorry."

His thoughts punished him in a loud voice. "You made it worse! This is why you don't talk! Everything you say is rough. She doesn't need rough. Why can't I do this right?"

When her bedroom door finally came into view, he stopped and said in a gruff voice. "We're here."

"So we are."

"All right then…"

To his surprise, the Sound girl rested her head on his shoulder, and he froze, his mind firing off alarms. What was the protocol? How did he handle this? What was he meant to do??

"It didn't go well." Was all she offered.

"No?"

"No."

He shifted from one foot to the other, careful not to jostle her in the process. "Well, you have a few more rounds, don't you? What are they again?"

She sighed, robotically reciting. "History, etiquette, debate and grace."

Kazue nodded. "Well, you've been studying non-stop, so you know our history fresh. I heard you put on quite the tea show, so that's etiquette. We both know you can handle yourself in a debate."

"We do?"

"Sure. How many times have you told me off and I couldn't reply?"

She laughed and it sent an electric wave through him. He was doing it! He was making a woman laugh.

Kazue placed a hand on the back of his neck. "And as far as grace, you can walk in those high shoes and tight kimono, so that's grace. You've got this down! So… don't worry about it."

The Sound girl looked up at him with a small smile.

Suddenly, she pulled his arm down and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Kazzy."

He blushed at the nickname and opened the door for her. "You're welcome. Goodnight."

She wafted into her bedroom. "Goodnight."

Though he wasn't sure why he did it, his right hand shot up in a sharp salute, surprising them both.

The Sound girl blinked her lovely eyes, waiting for an explanation.

Kazue's voice came out louder than he intended. "You'll do well. We… um… we're rooting for you… so… do good. Walk nice and all that."

And then she let out a sound that captivated him. A full, rich laugh that came from the bottom of her stomach, which she was holding with both arms. "Okay! I'll make sure to 'walk nice' for you Kazzy."

He instantly lowered his hand, turned on his heel and stocked away, her laughter echoing down the hall after him.

But he wasn't upset, quite the opposite, he felt lighter than he had in years.

~~~

Rin laughed and laughed, the rolling giggles lifting from her toes and spreading into the night air. That certainly wasn't what she expected from the stuffy man and to have her entire mission displayed in such a way as 'walk nice' struck her as funnier than anything she'd heard in a long time.

She wiped away a tear and let herself fully into her bedroom, where Koji had made a right mess of her lotions.

The boy smiled at her, rushing over for the hugs he never seemed to get enough of. "Rin! H..h..how d…d..did it g…go?"

She gave into the embrace and sighed. "It went. I see you've been enjoying yourself."

He nodded and held up his hands. "Yep! D…d….did you kn..n..now you can m..m..mix these?"

Rin sniffed each hand. "Orange and, what is that, pomegranate?"

Koji nodded, waiting for her approval.

She shrugged. "Not a combination I've tried before, but why not? I'm sure I could make something out of it."

He sniffed his hands again, memorizing the scents. "I l..l…like it."

Rin took down her hair, placing the pin in the safety of its hook. "That's all that matters then. If you like it, it's perfect for you. The customer chooses their scent, after all."

Koji watched her wipe off her makeup at the vanity mirror, sitting down on the floor, studying her movements.

He wondered what his mother would have looked like if she did the same thing. Would she have the same grace, Rin did? Would she have minded him watching?

His mind returned to the cane that found his back so often, the harsh words usually following. She probably would have minded, quite a bit.

Rin finished her washing, her face fresh and familiar to him. If Koji were honest, he liked her much better this way. She seemed more real to him. The painted face was lovely, but it didn't feel like his princess.

She smiled at his expression. "You're always studying me, aren't you, my knight?"

A blush came to his cheeks and he looked down. "S…s…sorry."

Rin reached under his arms and pulled him, so she was hugging him tight. "Don't be. Don't ever change, my sweet boy."

Koji wrapped his arms around the back of her neck, inhaling the scent of jasmine. His mother never smelled like jasmine.

She suddenly tossed him to the bed, an action that both surprised and delighted him. Rin smiled. "I have to change. You clean up this mess and we'll have a story, okay?"

He giggled at her expression and jumped to his task, while Rin disappeared behind the screen.

She filled him in on everything that happened, the abilities of the other women, how the Kazekage reacted and he ate up every word. He loved when she talked to him. When she told him what was on her mind.

It made him feel important.

When her nightgown was on and the lotions were in their proper places, Koji crawled into bed beside her.

Rin placed her arm around him, and he skootched in close. "What kind of story do you want tonight?"

"K..k…nights."

She giggled and kissed his forehead. "Of course, you do, as usual."

He snuggled down, pulling the blanket up and closed his eyes when she began. "Once upon a time…"


	85. What the Moon Knows

The halls used to be so quiet.

Gaara rested in his father's room, which was a novel in itself. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been here.

Rin occupied their normal space and since he knew all eyes would be on him for a scrap of favoritism, he'd have to avoid her at all costs. It was just a few days; it shouldn't be that hard.

Her eyes flashed in his mind as she took the hall.

She looked so scared, but so resolved at the same time. He'd wanted to silence every whispering mouth and running tongue in that room, but he knew he couldn't. That was up to his desert rose, who could be a viper, if she set her mind to it.

By the display of her justu and the way the councilwoman shook afterwards, he knew the venom was real and as deadly as ever.

It would only be a matter of time before everyone else knew how powerful she could be.

His steps led him to the large desk, two worn dents in the wood from where his father's arms rested. How many nights did he spend here to warrant those marks?

Gaara's eyes trailed across the quiet room, made unnaturally still by the absence of its master. Death perched at the window, blocking the moonlight from draping the floor in its cool beauty. It filled the corners of the room, suffocated the air of its warmth and the current Kazekage along with it.

He couldn't stay here anymore. Not tonight.

Gaara rushed out of the yawning darkness and slammed the door shut behind him, his chest heaving with the corrupted memories of his father's expression flooding his mind.

Without realizing, his feet were moving, heading down the hall, to where she was. The person who quieted the anger and fear; the warm hands, the soft voice, the scent of jasmine.

He came to the familiar door and rested his hand on the handle.

It was quiet. There wasn't her familiar laughter or her constant humming, he didn't even hear Koji's duckling steps following hers.

"She's asleep. Of course, she is. She must be exhausted."

His hand left the handle and shook when it rested against his side. He couldn't wake her; it would be irresponsible, and she deserved her rest after that terribly rude display in the hall.

The anxiety he felt after seeing his father's room still bubbled in his stomach, filling his veins with its sickly sludge. He needed to move. He needed to get away. He needed…. her.

Gaara forced himself away from the door, moving quickly down the hall.

"You're a monster."

He squinted against the words in his mind. Each hitting him like a fresh blow.

"You killed your own mother."

He panted. "It wasn't my fault."

"You need to be destroyed. You're too dangerous to remain alive."

Gaara's pace quickened. "No. I… I didn't want to hurt anyone."

"Liar."

His eyes watered, his heart raced, as the shadows of his father's assassins popped up in the corners of his vision.

"Calm down. Calm down. It's over. He's dead. You aren't the same person you were. You're stronger than that."

He burst through the doors of the balcony, where the full moon's light painted the village in silver.

The warm desert wind wrapped around him, as he made his way to the railing, gripping it with all the strength he had. "He's gone. You're not going to hurt anyone. You're not going to hurt anyone. You've changed. He's dead. He's dead. Just breathe."

"Lord Fifth?"

His racing thoughts came to a screeching halt.

The feminine voice filled his mind, but when he turned to face it, the eyes that filled his dreams, didn't stare back at him.

These were not kind eyes. These eyes were meant for very different purposes.

They didn't tame the wilderness in a man's heart but seized it in their wake. They didn't soothe fear or find the good in people, they stirred fire and captivated all who made the mistake of staring for too long.

Beautiful, kohl-lined danger.

"Are you all right, my lord?"

Gaara inhaled a sharp breath and brushed a hand through his hair, before giving a bow of his head. "Yes, I just needed some fresh air. If you'll excuse me, Lady Oribe?"

"My lord?"

He waited.

Mai looked like she wanted to say something, but the words stilled in her mouth. This was her chance. Possibly her only opportunity to be alone with him. A gift delivered by the universe and she wasn't going to squander it, but what was she meant to say?

"Yes?" He asked, clearly wanting to disappear back into the safety of the estate.

The eldest Oribe daughter cleared her throat, delicately lacing her hands behind her back. "Is something troubling you, Lord Kazekage?"

"No." He was quick to deny it. Too quick.

It didn't sound convincing for either of them.

Mai's lovely gaze flicked up to him and back down to the ground. "If I'm not too bold to say, my lord, I think you're lying."

"Liar." His father's voice echoed in his mind.

"Why do you say that? You don't presume to know what's in my mind." Gaara's voice was harsher than he intended, and it was evident by the flinch that took the woman before him.

He wished she wouldn't. He hated when people did that, especially when he was the cause.

His words softened. "Forgive me, that was unbecoming."

"It's quite all right."

They both stood in the warm night air, neither sure of how to continue. Gaara was about to make his second attempt to leave, when the beautiful creature before him spoke. "You used to come out here when you were young too."

"Pardon?"

Mai drifted to the edge of the balcony, her movements a fluid grace so that she floated like mist over the floor. It didn't even seem like her steps were real.

She looked out over the village, her pretty, bronze skin gleaming in the moonlight, as she pointed out. "You see the lights over there?"

He looked to where she was pointing. "Yes."

"Those are the lights of the Oribe Clan. They stay burning all night."

Of course, Gaara knew that. He knew every single light in this village. He'd counted each one come on and turn off, leaving him alone in the darkness as a child. It was true, those lights always stayed on and more than once, Gaara found himself drawn to them.

Mai spoke, interrupting his thoughts. "The room to the right. That one is mine."

He studied her face, bare from the lack of jingling veil and was surprised to find it shy under his gaze. He never knew the Oribe girl to be shy. He vaguely remembered her from the gatherings he was meant to attend in his teenage years.

Though it never stopped his father from trying to kill him, he still was forced to be schooled, trained, all the things expected of a royal member of the Sand. Part of that training involved meeting with the influential families for banquets and the like.

For the most part, Gaara either didn't attend or showed for a few minutes, before excusing himself to train on his own.

Mai smiled to herself, a small, coy smile. "I used to sit in my window there and I could see the balcony on clear nights. You came up here a lot."

He was surprised, to say the least. "You weren't afraid I'd notice and come for you?"

The question was mostly rhetorical, if not slightly bitter, but she answered anyway. "Of course. However, I had a feeling you wouldn't."

Gaara thought back to his younger self, the child who was hunted and hated by the village, who believed not a soul cared for him. Their eyes, their hatred, the abandonment he felt, why wouldn't she be part of it? He'd earned that hatred for a reason.

"Why not?" His question was soft.

Mai shrugged one shoulder. "Because you always seemed so sad."

His eyes widened.

She braved a look up at him. "I remember you when were five, you know?"

He tried to think back that far, but it was mostly a blur.

Mai gave him an indulgent smile. "We were at a banquet. That's when you were living with your uncle, before the Kazekage gave his orders to… well…"

"To kill me."

"Yes."

He could feel her unease. Gaara rested his forearms against the railing, breathing in the night air. "It's okay. Go on."

She nodded. "You were happier back then. It was my first banquet. My mother forced me into a dress that had so many frills, I could barely move, let alone play. I had to sit in my chair all night."

"Wow, that sounds…"

"Miserable. That's the word you're looking for and you would be correct. I was miserable."

Her manicured hands came to the railing and she pulled back to stretch a bit. "I wanted to cry. I could see all the other kids, including Kumi, laughing and playing at their table, while I had to be stuck with the adults. Oribe children didn't play. We didn't socialize with those lower than our standing. Bad form, you know?"

He remembered something of that nature being whispered whenever someone tried to approach.

The Oribe girls were beauties from the time they were in the cradle. Everyone leapt at the chance to fuss over them. They were bred to be diamonds in the rough, but diamonds are brittle things, easy to snap under enough pressure.

"I remember your siblings, powerful even back then, dominating the games with the other children. I wanted to play too. I just wanted to talk, if nothing else, but I'd never get the chance. And then, I heard the smallest voice say, 'I'll play with you, if you want?'"

Gaara stared, completely captivated by the tale, watching it unfold before him.

"You were so sweet, even back then, Lord Gaara. You made me a rose out of sand and placed it on the table. The adults didn't notice us talking. They never noticed me when I was quiet. You stayed by my side all night talking about your uncle, your sand, you even told me about your stuffed bear and for the first time in my life, I had fun. You showed me what fun could be that night."

Mai took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Lord Fifth…"

"Yes?"

She turned to look at him and it was the first time she'd held his eyes since the grand hall, only this time was different. This time, there was no show, nothing to prove, she was just looking at him, really and truly looking at him.

"I'm so sorry for everything you went through. When I heard about your father's order, I pleaded with mine to do something, but he said we couldn't stand against the Kazekage's will. Especially when we were all evacuated that one night."

He knew the night she spoke of, the one where he fell asleep and went wild, destroying everything in his path; homes, shops…. innocent people…

His gaze turned down. "It's one of the greatest shames of my life. I apologize if I frightened you then. I wasn't in control of my demon."

To his surprise, he felt a warm hand take his, holding it firm, so he would pay attention.

Mai's face was pleading, sincere despite the painted strokes to make her look more catlike. "Please don't apologize to me. I'm the one who should apologize to you!"

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

She looked down, her hands still clasping his. "You asked me to be your friend that night and I agreed. I should have stood by you. I didn't. I ran like everyone else."

"Well…."

"No. It's not something to be dismissed. I couldn't stand by you when your life fell apart. I just couldn't believe it was true. You couldn't have been that demon. Not that sweet little boy who gave me a rose at the party. You were still trapped inside, but they wouldn't let me get close to you."

"That was wise. I was far too dangerous."

Mai shook her head, dark hair falling over her shoulder. "Be that as it may, I never stopped."

"Stopped what?"

She took a deep breath. "I never stopped caring about you, Lord Kazekage. Even if I wasn't allowed to be near you. I kept watching from afar. Originally, it was believed I would be betrothed to Lord Kankuro when he came of age or Lady Temari would claim one of my brothers if she took the seat, but, when I heard it would be you, everything changed. I changed. I studied harder than ever before. I dove myself into my studies to be the perfect bride for you."

"Lady Oribe…"

"Mai. Please call me Mai."

"Mai."

She shivered when he said her name, so naked and exposed on his lips. She'd dreamt of him saying it for long. "I'm going to show you that I'm worthy to be that bride, Lord Kazekage and I hope, if you'll forgive me, that I can be your friend again as well?"

Gaara was astounded by her words, almost as much as the heat in her hands when they held his. He wasn't used to such heat.

No, there was a warmth he longed for and this wasn't it.

The sigh that left his lips was a sad one.

In one fluid motion, Gaara placed a cool hand on top of the one that was holding his and squeezed. "Thank you, Mai. I appreciate your words and your concern. It doesn't change the sins of the past, but it makes the memories a little less lonely."

She said nothing, her eyes darting from his face, back to their joined hands.

Gaara held them tight and then gently placed her hand back to her chest. "I can't commit to anyone in the Cleansing just yet. It wouldn't be fair to the other contenders."

Mai exhaled, looking away from him. "Only one contender, you mean."

"Pardon?"

"You think you're really fooling anyone?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You do. Please, don't insult me by pretending anything else. I'm no fool." She removed her hands, gave him a sharp bow and made ready to leave.

"Mai."

She stopped in her tracks but didn't turn around.

Gaara looked up at the moon, who was a rapt audience to their conversation. "It was never my intention to insult you or to waste your time. Your affection for me is appreciated, tonight especially. You kept me from walking down a dark path I didn't want to revisit. So, thank you for that."

Mai said not a word in reply but gave a quick nod and disappeared back inside.

He fell back against the railing, asking the silent spectator above. "What was I supposed to do?"

As always, it said nothing in return.


	86. Trial By Grace

Breakfast didn't appeal to her and that was a marvel in and of itself.

Rin picked at the coupling of fruits and cheeses, wondering how they managed to make it taste so fresh, when she had yet to see a cow or a goat or anything of the like.

Her studying of the trade market let her know that most of the dairy and meat came from the Leaf, their closest partner and strengthening ally.

She'd never been herself, but from her Creator's exhaustingly detailed memories, it was as if she'd walked the streets hundreds of times. She could do it blindfolded if the mood struck her.

Her fingertips took hold of a ripened strawberry and a soft smile graced her face.

"You taste like strawberries. How do you do that?"

Gaara had a way with words that made her feel stunning, even on days when she felt lower than her competition. Mai's stunning form flashed through her mind.

Today would be the elegant woman's triumph.

The next trial was the test of grace and etiquette, something she had in abundance.

Rin opted for her flats instead of the high shoes she normally wore with her kimono. It wasn't like anyone would see her feet anyway.

Really, she only wore the precarious footwear to lengthen her body and for tradition's sake.

Tradition could suck it if it meant her tumbling and embarrassing herself.

A knock on the door let her know it was time for the second day of the Cleansing to begin.

Rin looked at herself in the mirror and the girl who looked back had the audacity to wear a small smile.

Even if she was concerned about the competition, her bed was cold without Gaara. This was another excuse to see him in his finery, to have his eyes on her. She would ensnare that attention with every fiber of her being.

"Watch out, Mai Oribe, the flower of the Sound has some tricks up her sleeve. Don't count me out yet."

~~~

This trial wouldn't be in the safety of the Grand Hall.

From here on out, everything was done at the Cleansing grounds, a place Rin hadn't studied, but now, wished she had.

It wasn't permitted for anyone to visit unless it was during ceremony times and she could see why.

In the middle of the desert, surrounded by sand and dunes and mountain cliffs, was a large, circular stone slab. Its face was painted with the familiar compass rose; the directions etched in black.

In between the directions, were the stories of the Sand's people, starting from the north direction and working right, showing the progression of the first Kazekage's strength, the village rising from nothing, the battles they'd won and the people they'd become.

Her eyes trailed to Gaara, who took his place at the North point, standing strong against the vicious heat.

Today he wore the regalia of the Kazekage, the wide brimmed hat blocking the blinding sun, the kohl-lining matching his siblings, who flanked either side.

The image of them as a unified front, their faces stern, weapons at the ready, Rin could understand why the Sand siblings held such fierce reputation.

She had the privilege of learning their kindness, their worries, she'd heard them laugh and joke and love one another. It was easy to forget that the three of them had brought more death in their young lives than most experienced soldiers.

Particularly the man in the middle, who held her heart in his wake.

Rin wasn't sure where to step.

The noble families surrounded the centerpiece, crowding to get the best view, standing behind their contender and whispering encouragements.

The Oribe Clan sniffed at the Houki, who were cheering when Kumi surfaced, the small girl looking pale and, if she wasn't mistaken, nauseous as well.

Rin couldn't blame her.

Standing beside her was the pinnacle of elegance, shadowing everyone else in her stance.

Neither of them would shine today.

Rin studied the other two girls bow and take their places, Mai on the East point and Kumi on the South.

It only made sense that Rin would take the West.

She stepped lightly, careful not to lose her footing on the loose sand. The others were giving the stone face distance and respect, so she would do the same.

There was nothing about this in her studies.

She knew there was a holy place where the Cleansing took place, but it was specifically left out of the textbooks. No one mentioned it, not even a whisper, so how did the other two know what to do and she didn't?

The whispered cheers answered her question.

Of course, word of mouth and tradition would give them an advantage.

When all three girls were in position, Gaara lifted his arms to silence the buzz of conversation and the crowd followed his command.

To his right, Temari stepped forward, her voice clear and authoritative. "Lords and Ladies of the Clans. We welcome you to the second day of the Cleansing. Here, at this hallowed site, we pay homage to our past and, as the rain is brought to the desert, we too bring hope to our future. May it be bountiful and blessed."

Rin's hands shook at her sides, but she stilled them. She'd already made her mark last night, even if it were decidedly less impressive than the other two. There was fight in her and she would show it.

The image of her resting comfortably last night, Koji curled up beside her, the scent of the lotions he'd been playing with, filling the room, brought a small smile to her face.

She may not have the large clan support or the advantages they brought, but she was loved and if she could hold onto that, she wouldn't lose her nerve.

"We understand your time is important, as is our Lord Kazekage's, so we will move at a brisk pace. The bride of the Kazekage, is expected to be the pinnacle of grace. Her stance reflects the pride of the Sand, grace under the harsh scrutiny she may encounter and a direct reflection of our culture. She supports the Kazekage with his work, entertaining diplomats, flexible despite the challenges she faces."

Rin's thoughts were amused. She would hardly call the Sand "flexible."

Temari's eyes swept across the candidates. "'Grace' can mean a myriad of things, namely how it reflects the image of the Sand. We will begin with Lady Oribe. Please, come to the center."

Rin didn't miss the pride that flashed on the Council's face when the floating woman appeared. Mai was still the favorite of the group, however, Kaba's eyes were flickering over her face more than once.

Perhaps their encounter warranted a bit more attention than the old woman thought?

Mai drifted to the center of the stone face and dipped herself low, kissing her fingers and placing them to the cold floor beneath her.

When she rose back up, her face was set with determination and there was no veil to hide it. Something was different with her today.

Rin's attention went to Gaara, who was also wearing a stricter face than normal. She doubted anyone else would notice, but she did. His mouth was set in a hard line, his eyes trying too hard to appear normal and calm.

Did something happen between the two of them?

Despite herself, the image of Gaara embracing the lovely woman, brushing back her dark hair, kissing her elegant neck, assaulted Rin's mind.

No, she didn't have to worry about him. That kind of thinking wasn't helpful.

But… he did stare at her longer than he did anyone else.

Rin bit the inside of her cheek.

The Council members took their place beside the Sand siblings, one of the male members speaking so all could hear him. "Mai Oribe, as the eldest daughter of the Oribe Clan, we trust you are well-versed in the art of conversation with foreign diplomats?"

"Yes, sir."

"So, if I were to tell you that the color of your dress is insulting to my village, how would you answer me?"

Mai's lined eyes flicked down the brilliant white she specifically chose to compliment the Kazekage's robe and her lips curved to a gentle smile, that was so demure, it broke the heart of all who saw it.

She dipped her head. "I would comment on how this is the color of purity to represent the highest honor of your visit, my lord, however, if it is offensive, I will certainly change."

"And leave your guests unattended?"

Her voice never lost its velvet softness. "Certainly not, in my absence, they will be entertained with the best food and drink our village has to offer, in addition to the entertainment I've arranged for the night. They will also have continual conversation with our fair councilmembers, who's wisdom far exceeds mine."

The swelling of their chests made Rin feel as if she were looking at plumped hens.

Mai was too good at this.

Then, to their surprise, the lovely woman continued. "However, I would like to note one more thing, sir. If I may be permitted?"

The councilman nodded, clearly entranced by her compliments. "Yes, my dear?"

Mai's deep eyes held him in their wake. "If the color white is offensive, I would assume that means you are a diplomat of the Takigakure."

"Yes..."

Her smile went from demure, to silently pleased. "Then such a blunder would never occur in the first place, sir."

"And why is that?"

"Because I would never disgrace the Sand with ignorance of my guest's customs. I am the bride of the Kazekage and my village will never be shamed."

She gave an elegant bow to the light applause of her clan and praise of the councilmembers, who looked at one another with amusement and pride.

Rin turned just in time to meet the eyes of Kumi, who gave her a look that she understood instantly.

They didn't stand a chance against this monster in silks.

Temari cleared her throat over the applause and held up her hands. "Well said, Lady Oribe. Now, Lady Kumi, please step forward to represent the Houki Clan."

Rin watched the petite girl step forward and despite herself, whispered. "Good luck."

Kumi took her place at the center and bowed, albeit less graceful than Mai, but still presentable and touched her fingers to the center, waiting for her question.

Temari straightened up when she approached, and Rin tried not to feel jealous. It was clear she'd impressed the captain last night.

The same councilman regarded her, though not quite as favorably as he did the former contender. Though he favored Mai as the lead, his smile was polite when he spoke. "Lady Kumi, I understand you are renowned for your strength and battlefield prowess."

"Yes, sir."

"That's quite a skill to have, particularly in the Sand, where out might is so highly valued."

Her shoulders relaxed slightly, the edges of the quirky smile she wore when they first met, appearing on her face. "Yes, sir."

"So, if I were to join you for afternoon tea and you were serving a cheese platter, which tea would you offer me?"

Kumi's smile disappeared.

Rin knew this one and by the small look of triumph on Mai's face, it was clear she did too. The only one who didn't, was Kumi.

Her clan waited with bated breath, all of them looking to one another, as if they could provide the answer, though none of them knew it either. Tea ceremonies weren't highly valued amongst the Houki.

"Lady Kumi?"

She swallowed and tried to copy the confidence Mai had, though it was a shadow of an impression. "Smoked black tea?"

There was an audible gasp from the Oribe Clan, who spoke behind their fluttering fans, giving side long glances to the confused Houki Clan.

The councilmembers scanned this contender up and down, shaking their heads and the representative who asked the question sniffed at her. "No, Lady Kumi, that is not correct. Smoked black tea with something as pungent as a cheese platter, would not only destroy your guest's appetite, but also create an unpleasant odor in the breath."

His eyes turned to Mai, who was trying to keep herself from laughing at the ridiculous option her friend offered. "Lady Mai, which tea would you present?"

She bowed her head. "A white peony with raclette, sir."

"And why is that?"

"The soft tone would complement the cheese and also provide a floral scent for any lingering tastes on the palate."

He nodded. "That is correct, well done, Lady Mai. Lady Kumi, you are excused."

The lack of cheering was felt when she gave a shameful walk back to her spot. It was the first time the Houki had been quiet since they'd arrived.

Rin watched them out of her peripheral and noticed a handsome man, taller than Kumi and wearing the same high cheekbones and nose. He put a hand on her shoulder, giving her a small smile and a shake.

Too young to be a father.

She realized she was looking at the head of the Houki Clan, Kumi's older brother and his warm familiarity hurt Rin's heart.

"Ms. Ito."

Her attention snapped up, all eyes turning to her.

"Take your turn."


	87. The Storm

Mai excelled in the trial of grace, but that surprised no one. Kumi faltered with knowing what tea to serve and that docked points, but she would most likely recover with one of the other tasks.

They were trained contenders for a reason; it was naïve to hope that one question would knock her competition out of the running. Even if she desperately wished it would.

"Ms. Ito?"

Her attention snapped up, as all eyes went to her.

"Take your turn, please."

Rin took a deep breath, the hot, desert air oddly centering whereas it used to choke her.

She took a hesitant step on the stone face and thought back to the woman she was when she first arrived at the Sand, only a few months ago.

So worried to meet the legendary Gaara and his fierce abilities. The desert throwing her about with each gust of hot wind, and of course, the council, who greeted her like she was trash the cat dragged in before them.

Her eyes brushed over the silent members.

It was clear their first impressions of her hadn't changed, except they were wise enough to know that she was dangerous for entirely different reasons than they assumed.

She may not have been the assassin they suspected, but she did hold power they never dreamed.

That brushing gaze went to the man who had become her guiding marker in this entire endeavor.

He looked so regal in his Kazekage livery; she almost didn't recognize him.

It made him look older than he was, stern and reserved. It suited him; however, she so much preferred the other expressions she'd seen on his face.

Rin bowed at the center of the stone, kissing her fingers and setting them to the ground, as she'd seen the other do; thankful she'd had the good fortune of going last.

This crowd wasn't just waiting for her to mess up, they were encouraging it, eager to devour the slightest blunder she'd make.

Her breath felt unsteady in her lungs, until she felt a different pair of eyes on her.

Standing at the North point, willing her to focus only on him, was the gaze that held her happiness and her desire in its wake.

Gaara may have maintained his stern countenance, but it softened ever so slightly for her. Enough for her to notice and to calm the fluttering butterfly in her chest. He believed in her.

Rin rose back up to full height and awaited her question. She could handle teas and diplomats; this was the one trial she may actually exceed in.

A strange feeling of confidence came over her.

Bring on etiquette, she knew more about ceremony and manners than any of these primped snobs.

The memory of Orochimaru's cold fingers sliding down her neck and shoulders made her want to shiver.

She was designed to be pleasing to the eye and gentle to the touch, to put men at ease with her manner. An easy little question wouldn't phase her like it did Kumi.

She prepped herself for whatever they would ask, but came out, was anything beyond her expectations.

"Ms. Ito. You have brought chaos in your wake since coming to our village. Disorder, destruction and, as many have assumed, were responsible for the attack on the Southern Wall and a councilmember finding his death as a direct result of said encounter."

Her eyes widened as the charges were brought against her. This wasn't what she expected at all, but from the anger in the council's eyes, she knew they were waiting for this very moment for weeks.

She'd heard a councilman, Yashida, had passed during her mother's assault on the village, though she wasn't sure why that was her fault or even how he passed.

Temari straightened at the question, but only enough for her to notice.

She noticed everything.

The councilman who was speaking to her now, barely held the fury in his calm tone, as he continued. "You have nothing to bring this union. No title, no land, nothing. You shouldn't have been allowed to participate in this ceremony and yet, as usual, allowances have been made for you."

She felt the nods of agreement around her, more than she saw them. This wasn't just the council who were coming for her, this was a combined effort; a coup if she ever saw one.

"As if this isn't enough, which it should have been, there is more. An investigation was done on you in preparation for the Cleansing."

"An investigation?"

The hint of a smile was clear on the councilman's face, the silence of the families, as they strained to listen for facts on the mysterious Sound girl, making each of his words harsh and biting. "Yes. As there is with any young lady who is presented as a suitable partner for the Kazekage. Your competition has been evaluated since birth for their compatibility, so why wouldn't you? It's clear you think you're quite special indeed."

Her eyes flickered over the councilmembers, each staring at her with a different expression. Some were anxious, others clearly uncomfortable, but the hatred was clear in the speaker's eyes. Even Kaba didn't look at her the way he was, if anything, she seemed angry with him for his manner.

"I… um…."

He cut her off, his voice dipping a bit quieter. "When you first arrived, councilmember Yashida spoke of his suspicion of you. While we all shared it, no one was quite as clear with his concerns and, as his brother, I should have listened to him."

Her breath caught in her lungs. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

His tone returned to its former volume, so all could hear. "That investigation has resulted in some troubling findings, to say the least. Findings that shook this very council to discover. You, Ms. Ito, were not born into any semblance of a noble family, in fact… you weren't even born at all."

There were shocked gasps and confused faces that followed this information.

"You were designed in a lab, along with others of your kind. You are the product of the taboo of human experimentation. And, to make matters worse, your purpose was that of espionage and interrogation. You've been personally responsible for extracting information from other villages through your…. talents and have been responsible for deaths and torture on behalf of the Sound.

Yet, despite your questionable past, your destruction to the peace of our village, your hand in the death of a member of this council and your sordid past that would disqualify you as anything but pure, you can walk amongst the Sand without punishment or even reprimand for your actions. How do you account for this blatant favoritism and do you think it's right for you to have it? Why should a whore have a place as a Bride of the Kazekage?"

The silence was deafening.

The line of questioning was a hailstorm that she couldn't escape, and its pace was relentless.

Rin opened her mouth to answer, but a different voice responded.

"How dare you."

All eyes turned to host of the voice, shock and awe following its intensity.

The stern countenance was disturbed. The calm gaze, furious. The Kazekage was angry and, for the first time since she came to this village, she began to understand why Gaara was feared by his people.

He stood at the North point, the deadly sand circulating him in his own personal tornado, resulting in everyone around him taking a step back.

There were nervous murmurings from the crowd, everyone shrinking back from the rage that once brought death with it.

The councilman slowly turned to address him. "Lord…. Lord Kazekage?"

Gaara's mouth went into a snarl, fixating on the offending councilmember. "How dare you disgrace this ceremony with this line of questioning! This isn't a test; this is a trial and it's woefully unfair to Ms. Ito. You've purposefully embarrassed her and done it on my behalf, and I will not stand for it. This is completely unacceptable!"

Rin's attention turned to the frightened members of the noble families, their gaping mouths and watering eyes, as they backed up a few more steps, protecting their prized daughters in the process.

Mai and Kumi trembled beneath the growing anger in the air.

Temari and Kankuro gave each other worried looks, before the eldest of the three approached her brother. "Lord Fifth…"

His sand pushed her away.

The wind rushed around them, releasing a new wave of frightened cries, a few members of the crowd making ready to rush away from the scene.

Rin's heart thundered in her chest, her voice coming out in a whisper. "Oh no."

Gaara trembled with fury, the look on her face was too much for him to stand. His strong, fiery Rin was standing like a deer under the line of questioning. She was ashamed of her past and it was brought forth to the world with no concern to her.

He knew of no investigation and would have never authorized such a thing. She had to know that. Please let her know that!

He would have never shamed her like this.

How dare they? How DARE they!

His fury bubbled strong within him, the image of her horrified expression flashing in his mind again and again.

He should have never subjected her to this nonsense. He shouldn't have allowed his council to ever suggest the Cleansing. This was his fault. It was all his fault. She was going through all of this for him. He was the cause of her suffering.

He was a monster.

A hot, fierce wind came to him, the desert responding to its Kazekage's wrath.

Sharp, biting sand, beat down on the surrounding nobles, who were held in place by their fear. What would he do if they ran? What hell would the demon of the Sand expose them to for this insult to the woman he clearly loved?

"He hasn't changed."

"The monster is still there."

"Lord Fifth…. this can't be right!"

Rin heard the frightened cries, each filling her with more dread.

She could barely see him through the storm surrounding him, but she could feel him. His wrath, his shame, everything he was feeling was projected out in that sand.

Gaara fought so hard for his people's love and trust, he couldn't lose that because of her. She wouldn't allow it.

Rin left her perch in the middle of the stone face, approaching Gaara, though the wind nearly knocked her off her feet.

Both Kankuro and Temari were doing their best to calm him, but their cries fell on deaf ears. The anger and self-blame he felt were louder than their voices.

Soon, the sand became too intense even for them and they were forced to leap away from him before they were cut to ribbons by its fury.

Kankuro turned to the crowd and shouted as loud as he could over the cacophony. "Everyone! Remain calm! Evacuate to the cliffs around us!"

That was smart thinking. If they all rushed to the narrow exit of the valley, it was likely they could be trapped there, if Gaara saw fit.

Now was the time to take cover and that's exactly what they did.

Oribe and Houki alike, including the councilmembers, retreated to the safety of the large rocks surrounding them, tucking down to protect themselves and wait for the storm to end.

It's what children of the Sand knew to do.

The only one who didn't have this knowledge, was a girl from the Sound, who was trying her best to fight against the hurricane of anger and pain and fight her way through.

She wouldn't leave him.

A gust of sand cut her face like a sword.

She would never leave him like this.

The wind choked the air from her lungs.

Too many people abandoned him.

Her hair flew wild from its careful pins, each tugging with its forceful removal.

"Gaara."

The wind was too much, it brought her to her knees, the sand choking the life from her, assaulting her with its relentless pace.

Suddenly, air returned, but only because part of it was blocked.

Rin opened her eyes, though the hot wind still stung them, and saw the three purple moons of a large fan.

"Temari?"

The fierce woman grunted, holding her body against the open fan, pushing against the hurricane her brother created. "You need to get to safety, Rin! Go!"

"No!"

"What?"

"Gaara needs us now! I must get to him! Help me!"

She peeked over the top of her fan, the image of her brother's anger reminding her of blood, of death, of all the things she feared in her nightmares when she saw him as the monster, he believed himself to be.

He wasn't that anymore.

"How?"

"I don't know. But I'm going to try."

".... Let's go."

Temari tried to push, tried to hold them up against the storm, as she always did. No matter the force that was presented against them, she held strong.

But that was all she could do.

If she lost her footing, they would both go flying and the sand was quickly slicing away at her fan.

"I can't hold it!"

"We can together!" The voice of her other brother was enough to make her want to cry.

He crowded in beside her, holding up the fan from the top, his favorite puppet, Crow, thrust in front, to make even more of a barrier.

"Kankuro…" Rin began.

"You've got this, little sister. Help Gaara."

Their combined strength touched her, the expressions on their faces worried, but sure. They knew Gaara was worth standing by and it didn't matter how frightening he became; they wouldn't abandon him either.

This is what a real family was.

Rin peeked out from behind the fan, finding herself about five feet from him. How quickly could she cross that distance before being blown away?

Her eyes turned to Temari. "We only have one shot at this. I need to get close to him."

Both captains looked to one another and the years of battle shared between them showed. They didn't even need to speak to execute a plan.

Kankuro nodded and removed Crow, bracing his body against his sister's. "Do it, Temari!"

She inhaled a sharp, fortifying breath, summoning all the strength she had and swiped her giant fan against the force Gaara summoned.

It was a pocket of calm, the smallest break in the wind's assault, but it was enough.

Rin slid forward, the stone face cold against her bare legs, as she stopped at the feet of the man she loved.

"Gaara!"

He couldn't hear her, couldn't think or feel anything beyond himself.

He'd done this to her. He was the source of her pain and her embarrassment. How could he?

"Gaara! Please!"

Sand wrapped around her feet, trailing up her legs, her torso, holding her firm so she couldn't advance further.

Her arms reached out, holding him tight against her, as she placed her hand on his forehead. "Somnam Jutsu!"


	88. At the End of the World

"Somnam Jutsu!"

The world went silent.

The harsh sun faded to the familiar darkness; warm, comforting, hidden from the garish light that assaulted their senses.

If there was one thing they shared, when all was stripped away, it was this darkness. They were both creatures of night and the light didn't become them.

Rin pulled her way through the consciousness that was as well known to her as her own. This was the mind that welcomed her, that felt her touch when the world was intent on driving them apart.

There was one other mind that opened to her so easily, but she wouldn't think about him now. Now, she was focused on the man standing in the empty space she remembered, but no one, beast or child, surrounded him this time.

He was completely alone.

Her steps echoed in the empty room. "Gaara?"

His Kazekage regalia was cast aside, leaving him in the familiar red coat she came to know well, even trying it on once, much to his delight when it hugged her curves in ways he never expected.

Gaara stood with his hands covering his face, the anguish he felt coming off him in dark waves.

It tasted like poison.

She came to stand beside him, ignoring the sour flavor of anxiety and anger. "Gaara."

He flinched at her voice but didn't remove his hands.

Rin reached up to touch him and her hand was stopped by the mental barrier he threw up.

She could hear his thoughts echoing around them like ghostly whispers. "I did this to her. I'm the cause of her suffering. I saw her face. I saw her face. I saw her face. She's hurting because of me. I'm a monster. Monster. Monster. Monster. Mon…"

"Shhh."

His thoughts stammered as a presence he knew entered his space. "Rin?"

"Gaara. I'm here."

He was blind. He knew she was there, but he couldn't lower his hands to see her. The shame was too much.

How could he face her again, after having her entire past thrown out into the open like that? They called her "whore," his most precious treasure in this world. How could he forgive them? How could she forgive him?

His stomach twisted in fresh knots.

Rin pressed her hands against the barrier he unknowingly threw up and rested her head against it, so close and yet so far from her beloved.

"Gaara, don't block me out like this. Let me in."

"No"

"Please."

"Rin."

"Look at me."

"I can't."

She sighed, nuzzling herself against the barrier that separated them. "You can't stay like this, Gaara. Everyone is waiting."

He was silent.

Rin took a breath and ignored the faces that must have been staring at them from the outside.

Right here, right now, it was just the two of them and that's all that mattered.

She slid down the space and sat with her back to him. "You know, the desert isn't as bad as I once thought."

He said nothing, but she could tell he was listening; the walls around them fluctuated whenever she spoke.

"Remember when I first showed up here? I was a mess," she laughed, "I'd never even been outside the Sound before and I was supposed to cross the desert by myself? It seemed impossible."

He didn't reply, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw him slide down so that his back was to her as well, the invisible barrier cold between them.

Rin held up her hands to inspect them. "I was so scared, I actually turned back at least four times."

The walls fluctuated again, darkening.

She smiled softly. "Yep. I was scared, but not for the reason you're thinking. I was afraid of failure, not of you."

The walls lightened again.

"Remember how disheveled I looked? I thought the council was going to throw me out right then and there."

He stiffened behind her.

Rin nodded. "Yeah, they weren't a fan of me then either, why should they be now? I remember them accusing me of being an assassin or some nonsense. As if I would ever stand a chance against you. What ridiculous thinking, am I right?"

Gaara didn't reply.

Rin recalled her aggravated stance, how she turned on her heel. "That was the last straw for me. I was going to turn around and leave, forget the Sand as nothing more than a bad memory."

She tilted her head towards him. "But then I saw you."

Gaara held his breath, her sweet voice tearing away at the barriers he'd thrown up around himself.

Rin closed her eyes, summoning up his image that first day. "You were so tired. I'd never seen eyes so worn in my life and, considering what I grew up with, that's saying something. You looked at me and I knew I couldn't go anywhere. I wouldn't leave you like that."

Gaara remembered.

How could he forget the first time he saw his desert rose?

In her mind she was a disheveled mess, in his, she was a comet that came into his life with all the iridescent radiance of the stars on a summer night.

She shined so much brighter than anything he'd ever known or would ever know again and now he was addicted to that light.

Rin smiled. "How could I have known that you would take me on the journey of a lifetime or that you would mean more to me than anything in the world? How could I have known I would ever be lucky enough to call you mine?"

Finally, his voice joined hers. "I've ruined your life."

"What?"

Gaara gave a shuttering sigh. "You trusted me with the secret of your past."

"You kept it."

"I need you to know, I never authorized any investigation. I would never…"

She turned around and faced him, pressing her hand against the thin barrier separating them. "I never even considered it."

"You didn't?"

Rin's hand pulled away and gently smacked the barrier by his head. "Dummy."

His green eyes searched her face. "How?"

"Hm?"

"How can you trust me so easily? How could you not suspect me of this terrible thing?"

Rin shook her head, her smile patient and warm. "Because I know you, my heart. You would never do something like that. You would never shame me that way. You would never expose me as a whore of the Sound."

The walls around them darkened as he looked down. "No words can express my regret. I… I'm…"

"As wonderful to me as you've ever been."

His voice was pained. "Rin…"

"They were going to find out eventually. I knew that. Secrets never stay secret when you live in the light. You should know that better than anyone."

"Yes, but…"

"Shh. It's all right."

"It's not. How can it be?"

"Kiss me and find out."

Gaara looked up and sighed, allowing the barrier to drop between them.

The familiar cool of his skin felt heavenly against her hands, as she gently caressed his face. "Silly man."

He closed his eyes at her warmth. "Rin. I can't."

"Kiss me."

It didn't feel like he should. He didn't deserve the happiness she brought.

The kindness in her embrace hurt him in ways he didn't know but craved every second she was away from him.

They found each other in his darkness, warm honey filling his veins as he inhaled her scent.

Even on the mental plane, he knew every angle, every small breath, the brush of her cheek or the spark of her laughter. She was known to him and he was known to her.

Rin. His Rin. The light of his life.

The deep kiss gave way to several little pecks, as she trailed up his cheek, his closed eyes, resting her forehead against his and interlocking their hands. "We need to leave this place."

"Hm?" His voice was groggy, dizzy from the love she gave him.

"Everyone is worried. You've fought too long and too hard to earn the trust of your people. I'm not going to let it be ruined on my behalf."

His eyes opened, clarity filling him. "Oh… oh god. I've shown them such an ugly side of me."

"They've seen worse."

"I've shamed myself."

"You did it for me. But, as always, you've faced your own darkness and you will defeat it again."

He stood up, pulling her with him and lifted her hand to his lips. "We will face it together."

Rin's smile was bright. "Ready?"

"Let's go."

The world came shooting back with dizzying clarity; the heat of the mid-day sun, the scent of dust and hot winds, the sting of the sand's fury across her face.

Rin slid her hand down from Gaara's forehead and rested it on his face, watching him as he became aware of his surroundings.

The devastation his anger brought down was everywhere.

It could be seen in the stones surrounding them, worn smooth from the storm that came out of nowhere. It could be seen in the darkened sky that was now clearing back to its blinding azure, as the sand settled back to its home.

And it could be seen in the fear of his people, who cowered behind their hiding places.

Gaara swallowed, the shame a boulder in his throat. "Oh no."

Rin's hands came to his, her thumb stroking the line of his index finger. "Deep breaths, my love."

He nodded, opening his mouth to speak, but finding his voice lodged in his throat.

Rin tugged on his hand. "Can you release me first?"

Gaara's eyes turned to her legs and saw, with horror, that the sand had completely engulfed her from the waist down. "I'm so sorry!"

It fell away in a cascade and she moved freely again. "That's much better."

His people peeked out from behind the large stones, unsure of what they would find, their fear pervading the air.

Gaara winced. "What do I even say?"

"Speak from the heart and they will feel it."

He looked to her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him. "Yes."

Rin rested her head on his shoulder, willing him whatever strength she had.

The Kazekage swallowed and spoke so all could hear. "People of the Sand. My people…. my family…"

There was a collective breath as he continued. "I apologize for my anger."

They listened, albeit hesitantly.

Gaara's hand shook around Rin's waist. "You should never see that side of me. We all know it's there, though we pretend it isn't. It's the face our enemies see. The face that protects this village, but should never be used against it. I was wrong to show you that face and I'm deeply sorry."

The noble families came out from behind the rocks, like children called back to the arms of their father after a fierce scolding.

Gaara gave a deep bow. "Please, forgive me for frightening you and disrupting this ceremony."

They came closer, their steps unsure, but still driving them forward.

This was the effect the Kazekage had on his village.

Rin studied the faces of her competitors and was surprised at the expressions she found.

Kumi was as spunky as ever, though her face had paled. It had been years since the might of her leader was displayed in this manner and while it was frightening, the Houki valued strength over anything else.

This was a stark reminder of why they were feared in the world.

Mai, did not share this sentiment.

Her kohl-lined eyes were smudged, the tears she'd shed evident in the two twin trails down her face.

Whether those tears were from fear or something else, Rin wasn't sure.

Gaara squeezed her waist tighter. "However, I will not apologize for the outrage I expressed on behalf of Ms. Ito. That insult still stands."

Rin turned her face towards the man she loved. "Gaara. It's fine."

"It isn't. It will never be acceptable to speak to you like that. Not while you are in our village and certainly not when you are at my side."

His voice raised again so the village could hear him. "The Cleansing is over. This farce will no longer continue. I played along to satisfy the will of the council and of the noble families, but no more. If Ms. Ito will not be respected, I will not respect the outcome of this ceremony. That is my decision as Kazekage and it will be honored."

"Lord Kazekage."

All eyes turned to the eldest member of the council.

Rin's breath caught, as she watched Kaba approach, her stance regal despite the assault that just took place.

She stopped in the middle of the stone face, staring the couple down, her eyes clear, her mouth a set line.

Gaara regarded her. "Councilwoman."

Kaba's hands came to her sides, standing as still as a statue and Rin could see the pride in her stance that came from birth and from title. "This council has something to say to Ms. Ito."

His hand was strong as he placed himself in front of her, ready to intervene as if anything else could be brought against the love of his life. "Proceed. Carefully."

She nodded. "Ms. Ito. It's no secret how you've been received by this council."

Rin offered nothing, though a stream of sarcastic comments begged to escape her.

Kaba watched her reactions with a level head. "You were seen first as a threat, then as a distraction and, finally, as unacceptable of our standards. The Cleansing was an opportunity for you to prove yourself, if such a thing were even possible."

Her eyes came to the councilman who instigated the upset, who was currently still hiding behind a large boulder. "And it has done just that."

There was a collective gasp, Rin included.

Kaba studied the pair, clinging to each other as if they were the only lifelines left in this world.

She was held that way once.

Kafu's face came to her mind and she bit back the unauthorized tears that threatened to make themselves known.

"Ms. Ito, please approach this council."


	89. The Bride of the Kazekage

"Ms. Ito, please approach this council." The words echoed in her ears, though she wasn't sure what the intent behind them could be.

Rin looked up to Gaara, who stood stone still and gently released herself from his grasp.

Her steps were surer than she felt, almost blindly leading her to the center of the great stone face.

The eyes of the Sand were on her, assessing her in a way they hadn't before.

Rin felt them all around, as she found her way before the elder councilwoman.

They stared each other down.

Kaba's voice softened, so only the two could hear. "You've walked through my mind, Ms. Ito. I know you've seen what waited inside my memories."

"Yes."

"You know why I've resisted your union with Lord Gaara then?"

The feeling of pain that rested in the woman's mind, stayed with her. "Yes."

Kaba closed her eyes, the hard edges of her face softening with the memory. "The Kazekage's mother, my precious Karura, showed herself in my mind. I'd almost forgotten what she looked like and yet; I see her in you. The curve of your smile, the fire in your expression, how you will fight for the life you want and the people within it."

Despite her best efforts, tears began to form and trailed down the wrinkled face, showing the sorrow that was a deep well inside her.

Rin's hand was moving before she realized what she was doing and rested on the woman's cheek, brushing the sadness away with her thumb.

Kaba's eyes widened at the unfamiliar touch, the kindness behind it burning. "How…"

Rin waited.

The councilwoman sighed, knowing this was unbecoming of her station and that she would receive a scolding from her husband later, but she stayed in the moment, allowing Rin to comfort her, going so far as to rest her hand over the young one. "We've been unkind to you. Karura would be ashamed of us… ashamed of me."

"You were trying to protect her son."

"Yes."

There was silence, every person in their world straining to hear the hushed conversation.

Kaba gently lowered Rin's hand, but didn't let it go. "Will you love him?"

"I do."

"Will you stand by him?"

"I am."

"No matter what anyone says about you or your status, will you put him and this village before your tempestuous mood?"

The edge of Rin's mouth curved into a smirk. "If you can, then I can."

Despite herself, Kaba laughed at that and it transformed her. Rin could see the young woman inside, the one who hoped and dreamed and loved just as fiercely as she did.

"Then there is only one thing to do."

She continued to hold Rin's hand, but turned to address the noble families, who were demanding answers, though no one said a word.

"Let this be a decree. Record and reproduce my words so that the world may here what I say. The Cleansing is complete, and a decision has been made. Ms. Ito of the Sound, has been found fit to stand beside Lord Fifth as the future bride of the Kazekage."

There was a collective gasp, a mixture of approval and disapproval clear, as she suspected there would be.

Kaba squeezed Rin's hand, the maternal protectiveness clear. "If any should speak out about this decision, let their words be said now and nevermore after."

The crowd fell into whispers, no one certain of who should speak their upset.

Rin's eyes turned to Gaara, who hadn't moved from his spot, though she could see the edge of his smile coming through.

Suddenly, the crowd parted and the leaders of the Houki and the Oribe stepped forward.

Kaba assessed them. "Lord Houki, you may speak first."

Rin tried not to smile at how that irked the head of the Oribe Clan.

The younger leader of the Houki was handsome, a warrior through and through and he carried himself with the grace of a jungle cat, all tensed muscle and fierce eyes, but, to her surprise, his voice was softer than she would have imagined. "Lord Kazekage, fair council, the Houki wishes to speak."

They waited and he turned to his younger sister first. "We presented a fair contender to the throne. The prized daughter of our clan is stronger, faster and stands surer of herself than her competition."

Kumi smiled at his praise, feeling as if this was meant more for her sake, than the rest.

Her brother's eyes were warm on her. "We are proud of our contender; however, we acknowledge strength in others as well."

He looked back to Rin and, to the surprise of all, bowed down on one knee. "Ms. Ito, you may not have the title required for this position, but when the children of the Sand hid at our Kazekage's wrath, you alone stood against it. You demonstrated grace under fire and put the safety and happiness of this village over the insult of your character. You've impressed the Houki and will have our allegiance. We recognize the council's decision and agree with it. You have our support in this union."

Rin's eyes went to Kumi, who bowed just as her brother did, though when she rose back up, the bright smile she'd seen the first time they met, painted her face.

She could see them being good friends.

Kaba nodded at the Houki's approval, her gaze drifting over to the man at his right. "Lord Oribe, do you accept this council's decision."

"We do not."

All eyes turned to the tall man, who was as rigid as ever.

Kaba's eyebrow raised. "State your displeasure, Lord Oribe. Why do you not approve of Ms. Ito as the bride of the Kazekage?"

"Why would we ever acknowledge the status of a whore?"

There was a collected gasp, everyone looking to Gaara, bracing themselves for another wave of his fury.

Gaara's face was hard.

Rin gave a slight shake of her head and turned her attention back to the prim lord.

She squeezed Kaba's hand and left the protection she offered, stepping closer to him. "Why do you say this thing?"

His dark eyes wouldn't fall upon her. "We have no interest in speaking to someone of your station. Return to the Sound and make way for the true bride. Lady Mai is clearly superior, in status and in her demonstrations in the ceremony."

There was a fire in her stomach, but she breathed through the rage. This wasn't the first time a lord belittled her existence.

Rin took a step closer still, her voice calm. "You're right."

That made him look at her, if only for a brief second.

The silence was thick under the hot sun and Rin braced herself against the hatred of this clan. "Lady Mai is better suited than I, in status, grace and breeding. In addition to that, her genjutsu was stronger than any I've seen before. She is everything the bride of a Kazekage should be and would represent this village with pride and nobility."

The head of the Oribe Clan was conflicted. He wanted to be proud, but he felt a trap was being laid before him, though he wasn't certain of its purpose quite yet. "Correct."

Rin nodded, looking past him and at the woman, who was frozen in place by the turn of events this day had taken. "Lady Mai, please come before me."

Her guards instantly stepped in front of her, blocking her from the sight of this Sound intruder, but her elegant hands parted them.

"Lady Mai, you mustn't."

"I wish to hear what she has to say."

Her mother and father were furious, though they said nothing. She knew she would receive punishment for this, but she would never back down from a challenge issued by this woman. She couldn't show belly now, especially after she had before with Gaara's anger.

Her floating steps led her to stand before Rin Ito, studying her as she had so many times.

She was lovely, that couldn't be disputed, if not a different kind than she was raised to be. She lacked the stance that proper breeding brought, but there was a calm elegance to her, more felt than seen.

Even if she didn't want to admit it, she could see why Gaara loved her.

"You wish to speak to me, Ms. Ito? Speak."

Rin nodded, her voice lowering so only the two of them could hear. "I know what this ceremony means to you."

"You don't."

"I do. I could see it from the first moment we met. This isn't a political move for you or even just expectation set down from your family, it's more than that. He is more than that to you."

Her kohl-lined eyes flicked to Gaara and back to the woman before her. "Yes."

Rin took in her finery, the high cheek bones and proud features, the grace that emanated off her. "We're not so different, you and me. Are we? Either of us could stand at his side and lead."

"Quite."

"Your clan won't accept me, not without your blessing. I know that and I know there is nothing I can do to earn it, but…"

"You have it."

Rin stopped mid-sentence and stared. "Excuse me?"

Mai looked back at Gaara and down at her feet. "I failed him. I failed him again."

"I don't understand."

Her red-painted lips curved into a sad smile. "He was a beautiful little boy; did you know that? Softer than his sister, more serious than his brother. He was beautiful."

Rin had seen the child, of course, but it was different outside the mental plane.

Mai sighed. "And he was wonderfully kind."

"He still is."

"No. He's not."

Rin felt the fire of her protectiveness burn within her. "Gaara is…"

"Cruel and not for the demon that was in him or the power he holds. He is cruel because he can look at me with those eyes I've loved for years and see someone else."

The fire doused, the cool understanding of pain replacing it. "I see."

Mai looked down. "I can't make him love me. I thought, that if I impressed him enough, if I showed all the ways I was better than you, he would choose me on merit alone, but that won't happen. I hid. I ran and I hid. There is no way he'll look at me the way he looks at you. The way he's looking at you now."

Rin didn't need to check, she felt Gaara's love with every fiber of her being, with every grain of sand surrounding them. She wouldn't insult Mai by pretending like she didn't.

"I'm sorry." Was all she could offer instead.

Mai nodded, her voice catching in her throat. "My clan won't acknowledge you. My father is a proud man."

It took every scrap of strength Rin had not to scoff. "Yes."

She inhaled. "But I can do my best. Consider this a wedding gift, since I'm sure you won't receive any from us."

Rin gave a small smile as the lovely woman turned to her clan. "I concede."

Her father sputtered, losing that tall composure that seemed to be his life's blood. "Mai!"

Her eyes were firm on him. "I. Concede."

"But, you can't just…"

"I concede to Ms. Ito as the bride of the Kazekage, not only for the strength and bravery that she displayed today," Mai gave Rin a small smile, "But for the grace she's demonstrated in the past. Grace that not even I can compete with."

The Oribe Clan's whispers were fervent disapproval.

Her father's face was red as the Ember roses in her windowsill, but it was her mother that spoke instead. "How can she have more grace than you, Mai? You were raised for this moment!"

Mai closed her eyes, remembering the first time she'd seen the strange girl from the Sound. "Because she wasn't raised to be like me, she's able to understand people in a way I cannot. Mother, when was the last time you walked through the village without an entourage?"

The woman opened her mouth to answer but found nothing.

Mai nodded. "Father, when you called the orphans of the Sand trash, Ms. Ito called them 'precious' to her. I've never even spoken to someone outside our status before, let alone considered them precious."

For once, the mighty lord had nothing to say and neither did Rin.

Mai gave Gaara one last look and managed a small smile. "I would have been a good wife to you, my Lord."

He bowed his head. "I have no doubt, but you're correct, my heart belongs elsewhere."

She sighed, giving Rin one more glance over, her plucked eyebrow arched. "You'd better not embarrass us when diplomats arrive."

Rin nodded. "You know, I could use some help with that. If you're interested in becoming a foreign advisor to the bride of the Kazekage? I am, as you know, hopeless in that regard."

Mai's smile was liquid gold, just as enthralling and exotic as her presence. "Well, now that is something, we can both agree on. We shall see, Lady Kazekage."

She drifted back to her clan, ignoring the angry stance of her father.

Kaba stood beside Rin and spoke to the crowd. "If there are no other objections, Lord Kazekage, please join us in this hallowed space."

Gaara was there quicker than they could blink, standing beside the woman he loved with as much pride as a man could muster.

She smiled at his response. "Lord Fifth, do you acknowledge the decision of the Cleansing and this council?"

"I do."

"And do you accept it?"

He turned to address the love of his life. "If she will accept me, yes."

"Ms. Ito?"

Rin felt like she would cry, but she offered a small nod instead. "Always."

Kaba bowed her head. "Then the decision is final. From this day forth, Ms. Ito will be known as 'Lady Rin' bride of the Kazekage."

There was a riotous cheer from the Houki Clan and even an impressive display from the Oribe, though the head wasn't included in their support.

Rin noticed Temari and Kankuro, standing to the side of the stone face and didn't miss the display of emotion on their faces.

Kankuro cheered louder than the rest, raising his fingers to his mouth and releasing a piercing whistle. "That's our girl!"

She smiled at his support, but it was Temari who touched her.

The proud woman crossed a hand over her chest and bowed her head to Rin.

When her face was seen again, it was wet with happy tears and it was all Rin could do not to run over and hug her.

She wouldn't appreciate that now. Such displays of affection were reserved for private quarters, though she was certain her brother would tease her later, by the way her wrapped an arm around her shoulders and continued his loud cheering.

Kaba applauded, along with the rest of the council, but pointed to the sky. "Lord Kazekage, if you would?"

Gaara, never letting Rin go from his side, raised his hand up, the leaders of the noble families joining him their stance. "Let the rain come and wash the dust away from our land. Bring with it life and bounty and bless this union."

If the sky opened that moment, Rin wouldn't have noticed, all she could see was the proud man beside her.

This man who brought her more joy than she ever thought she would know. These hands which held her heart. Those eyes that saw the best in her, even when she couldn't see it in herself.

All of these things made him who he was; the Kazekage of the Sand and the lover of her heart.


	90. Epilogue Part 1

The sky was an alarming shade of blue, but it usually was on days like this.

No matter how many times she tried to identify it, the radiant color always seemed to elude her. It wasn't azure or robin's egg or celestial blue, it wasn't even what the normal eye would consider "sky-blue," it was something else entirely.

Rin raised her hand above her head, blocking out the noon sun, which fell hot upon the village.

She smiled.

How she loved the desert at this time of day.

She breathed deep the scent of earth that was baking beneath the sun; exotic and spicy, filling her veins with its warmth.

There was a time where all she felt was cold; a chill that came from white walls and bare cots and stayed with her no matter how many blankets she stole or people she cuddled up with.

It was the kind of cold that dwelt within her heart and now, that cold was gone. 

Rin's fingers trailed along the Ember Roses she'd grown especially for this day.

There were a few failed attempts, as she needed time to wrap her head around the concept of a flower needing such little water, but eventually she'd mastered it.

She approached the quiet yard and closed the gate behind her, stepping lightly as she passed, careful not to disturb anything.

Her trusty bag wasn't as heavy as when she first arrived, but it still hung over her shoulder in the same way, only this time it held two items instead of twenty: a children's story book and a piece of yellow cake.

"Hello, my friend." Rin said with a soft smile.

She brushed off the tombstone that read, "Haru" on it.

The flowers rested nicely on top, as she folded her legs to sit on the ground, not caring that her white dress would be stained red with the dirt beneath her.

"You have no idea how much I have to argue with the chefs to make yellow cake. It's like I'm asking them for mangos or pineapple or some other such nonsense. You'd think after five years of requesting it for this day, they'd already know."

Rin laughed at the memory of the cooks grousing this morning and set the flowers on top of the grave, resting the book on her lap.

She took a breath, making note of all the other graves, each carefully dressed and decorated by their families. It was a kindness to have Haru buried here, one she didn't know Gaara arranged until later in their marriage.

When their lives finally calmed, as rare of an instance as that was, he showed her what he'd done and the care he took. "He's your family. He deserved to be wherever you were."

Rin ran her finger over her wedding ring, that caught the sunlight with the movement. "Gaara would have come with me today, but he's busy preparing for tonight. There is a big celebration. Haru, I can't tell you how many boring meetings he must sit through! Thank Heaven I don't have to participate in them all, my share of them lately has been work enough."

She breathed in the hot wind, stretching out her legs and turning her face towards the sun. "It feels so good to be outside."

Her eyes drifted closed, listening to the sounds of the bustling village that seemed just beyond her reach. The vendors in the market where in the middle of their love song to their buyers, promising fresh produce, wears and trappings.

She knew it well enough to sing in harmony now.

Business had been good for the Sand, especially since they opened their trading with the Sound. Now, there were crops only found in their fertile soil and the amount of glee Rin felt the first time she bit into a fresh batch of strawberries from home, was divine.

She brought a few with her for the day, nestled safely in the palm of her hand; their juicy, sweet forms begging to be savored in the hot sun.

Though, most of her strawberries went to someone else lately.

"Mommy!"

Right on cue.

Rin bent forward as a little body flung herself on her shoulders, hugging her from behind. "Oh no! I've been attacked by a monkey! A wild monkey who craves strawberries!"

A giggle responded. "I'm not a monkey!"

"Oh? You were a monkey yesterday. What are you today, Misa?"

"I'm a tiger!" She exclaimed with a very convincing snarl.

Rin smiled, grabbing hold of her daughter's waist and flipping her down to rest on her lap. "So, I see. What a fierce little tiger you are. You will give Auntie Temari a run for her money."

"What are you doing out here? Everyone at home is looking for you."

Mother hugged daughter a little tighter and looked at the grave. "Just paying a visit to an old friend."

Misa looked at the name on the stone. "What does it say?"

"Sound it out."

"H..H…A."

"It's a little 'a', so it makes the 'ah' noise."

"Ha..r..r..U."

"Ooo."

"Haru!"

"Very good! Your reading is really coming along."

Misa smiled up at her mother, sharing the same wild hair, that tangled in the hot breeze. "Teacher Kaba says so too. She says that my reading is at the best of the class."

"And your math?"

"Oh, um… so who is your friend? Haru?"

"Nice distraction, little tiger." Rin laughed, pinching her cheek and looking back up at the gravestone. "Haru knew Mommy before she came to the Sand."

"When you lived in the Sound?"

"Mm hm. He was my best friend."

Misa's eyes trailed from the tombstone to her mother's kind face. "He was a boy?"

"Yes."

Her gaze narrowed. "Does Daddy know?"

Rin laughed out loud, ruffling up her hair. "Of course, he does! They got to meet right before he passed away."

"Were they friends?"

"I think they would've been wonderful friends."

"Why?"

"Well, they liked a lot of the same things." Rin said with a small smile. She held the book up. "I was just about to read him his favorite story. Would you like to hear it too?"

"Yes! But… um… do you think Mr. Haru would mind if I ate his cake?"

Rin laughed. "No, I don't believe he would."

~~~

She walked back to the estate, hand in hand with Misa chatting a mile a minute about her day.

Rin gave the appropriate, "oh?" and "then what happened?" whenever was necessary, but her mind was elsewhere.

Everyone would be arriving tonight. All the preparations were made and yet, why did she feel nervous?

It wasn't like these kinds of meetings were uncommon for her, in fact, she'd become quite skilled in greeting visitors to her home and maneuvering whatever obstacles came with that.

Could it be because this was the first time, since the Cleansing, that the meeting was on her behalf?

"Mommy? Mommy!" Misa beckoned, pulling on her hand.

"Hm?"

"Are you listening?"

Rin smiled at her. "Yes, sorry baby, Mommy has a lot on her mind for tonight."

"Do I get to wear my new dress?"

"Which one?" She laughed, knowing that Kankuro had gone overboard at her last birthday and showered his niece with not one or two, but twenty new dresses.

It seemed like he had unending enthusiasm and, as it seems, funds for his favorite niece.

"Misaaaaa!"

Speak of the adoring devil.

Suddenly her daughter was swooped out of her grasp and securely into the arms of her uncle, who threw her up in the air, releasing a stream of pleased giggles. "There's my girl!"

"Higher, Uncle, higher!" She squealed.

"No, no higher. That's quite high enough." A stern voice replied, as Temari arrived, right on his tail.

"AUNTIE!!" Misa screamed.

Rin gave an equally excited smile, reaching her arms out to embrace her sister-in-law. "When did you arrive? We weren't expecting you for a few more hours."

Temari returned the hug, though the concept was still foreign. She was just going to have to accept that her brother's wife was a hugger one of these days. "We made good time."

"I'll say. Let me look at you!" Rin exclaimed, turning Temari to the side, so she could see the swollen belly that was barely beginning to show. "Ah! I can see your progress! Shikamaru must be so proud. Where is he?"

"Phht lagging behind, as usual. I'm five months pregnant and I'm faster than he is. Ridiculous."

Misa squirmed out of her uncle's grasp and rushed over to her aunt, placing her small hands on her stomach. "That's my cousin in there, right?"

"That's right."

"Boy or a girl cousin?"

"By all the gods above and below, I hope it's a boy." The drawing voice of Temari's husband sounded with his approach. "I've got too many women ordering me around as is. I need some back up, big time."

"Welcome to the Sand, Shikamaru. We appreciate your presence at the event tonight." Rin smiled, resting her daughter on her hip.

"Sure, sure, it's a big deal, what you're doing here. The Leaf is happy to attend."

"We're expecting a few more guests from the Leaf, but you're the first to arrive. Please make yourself at home and rest up in the guest housing. Temari knows the way."

He nodded and slid an arm around his wife's waist, giving her a peck on the cheek, which sent a blush to her face. "Right. Come on, honey, let's get you rested up. You'll be crabby if you don't."

"I'm fine!"

"I know."

They walked off together, and Rin's eyes followed them, a happy feeling in her heart.

Their courtship was even shorter than hers, which surprised no one at their quick wedding. It seemed like the two warriors were cut from entirely different cloths and yet, they made one of the strongest unions between the Leaf and the Sand.

Neither wanted a big, over-the-top wedding, so it was a small affair, though that didn't stop Rin from decorating her sister's hair in all the dangling flowers she could find. Even if she didn't care about formality, Rin wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to fancy up the hardened woman.

Kankuro patted her shoulder. "You should be at the estate by now. We're going to begin in a few hours."

"You're right. Will your lady be joining us tonight?"

He put a hand on the back of his neck and smiled. "I certainly hope so. I have a question to ask her, after all."

Rin's eyes widened. "You are?! Is it finally time?!"

Misa looked between the two adults. "Time for what?"

Kankuro, took her from Rin and swept her up on his back. "Time for you and your mother to get ready for the preparations. Let's go see what food we can sneak on the way in."

"Yeah!

He gave a meaningful look to Rin, who mimed zipping her mouth shut.

Ani had been more than patient with his dragging feet, though Rin knew her brother's hesitation came from shyness more than anything else. He was a remarkably timid creature when it came to the woman he loved, amazing as his reputation with ladies in the past proceeded him.

They climbed the steps of the estate, taking in the scents of the banquet and the bustling of people setting everything up.

It wasn't the largest even they held, but it was going to be full of important people who needed to be impressed.

Rin felt some of her past anxiety creeping into her stomach but breathed it away. She was Lady Kazekage and no one saw her fear. Not until she was in the safety of his arms, where her world made sense and the noise quieted to the peace of their love.

"We need to ensure the leaders of the Cloud and the Stone are on opposite ends of the hall. The last thing I want is a posturing match between the two. Oh, and please ensure the representatives from the Leaf are seated towards the front, a dear friend of mine is scheduled to arrive, and I'd like to speak with him as much as I can."

Gaara was busy directing, pointing here and there, that he didn't notice the approaching little girl, until she was at his leg. "Daddy!"

Rin opened her mouth, to correct her daughter's interruption of his work, but Gaara gave a smile that melted her world. "Well, hello Princess."

Misa giggled, blush forming in her cheeks. "I get to wear my new dress tonight, Daddy. Will you dance with me in it?"

He knelt on one knee, crossing his hand over his chest. "I would consider it an honor."

His eyes trailed up to his wife and they warmed on her. "But the Queen gets first dance, you know?"

Rin laughed, approaching the two. "Oh, I think I can be persuaded to share. Besides, I'll probably be too nervous to dance."

Gaara rose, swooping Misa up on his shoulders and giving his wife a soft kiss. "There is nothing to be nervous about. You've worked years on this project. They won't be able to ignore your passion."

"Right."

He flicked his head to the side, signaling everyone to disperse and offered his hand to Rin. "Come on, let me escort my girls to their room."

"Are you sure you have time? It sounds like you have your hands full."

His thumb trailed along her fingers. "I'll always have time for you."

"And for me too, Daddy?" Misa asked from the top of his shoulders.

He laughed, looking up. "Yes, Princess. Daddy always has time for you and Mommy."

"Cause we're a family."

"That's right and who else is Daddy's family?"

Rin watched Misa as she extended her arms out wide. "The entire Sand village! One big family!"

"That's my girl." Gaara gave her leg a squeeze and walked them down the long hallway.

He left them at the door, Misa safely in her mother's arms and offered a bow. "I won't see you until you're ready to make your appearance at the ceremony, but I'll be at the top of the staircase."

"You won't let me trip?"

The cool eyes, both father and daughter shared, smiled at her. "Never."


	91. Epilogue Part 2

The mirror held a friend, someone who had seen darkness and light at war within herself. She'd walked through worlds of nightmare, battled the enemy of fear in her clients and emerged victorious in the end.

She was shaped by cruelty, resurrected by love and polished by responsibility.

But, more importantly than all of that, the woman in the mirror was happy.

That happiness was quietly playing with her dolls on the bed her parents shared, creating vast stories that would someday make her famous in the Sand.

Rin brushed a comb through her wild hair, taming it into a twisted bun at the back of her head, tenderly embracing the dangling flower pin that stayed as a companion of her past life.

Her eyes flicked to the little girl behind her. "Misa, remember what we're going to do tonight?"

"Go to a party!"

"Mm hm and what do we do at a party?"

She looked up from her dolls. "Um… party?"

Rin chuckled. "Well, you're not wrong. However, is this a grown-up party or a kid party?"

Misa groaned. "Grown up."

"That's right and what do we do at a grown-up party?"

Her daughter held up a doll, whom Rin had the sneaking suspicion was supposed to be her, by the nagging voice she donned. "Mind your manners. Don't run around and bump into people. Be the daughter of the Kazekage. Blah blah blah."

Rin twisted around in her chair, mouth agape. "That's not how I sound!"

Misa's crooked smile caught her. "It is so, Mommy. Blah blah blah."

She thought about it for a moment and stood up, sitting beside her daughter and removing the mother doll from her hands. "Hm, okay, well how do I sound when I say this?"

She took the doll that was supposed to be Misa and placed it in her small hands, moving the woman doll as she spoke. "Mommy is very proud of you."

Misa smiled up at her and back at the dolls.

Rin lifted the mother doll's hand to brush down the hair of the daughter. "You are the daughter of the Kazekage, but you're also my daughter and we love to make some trouble now and then, don't we?"

Her spunky little girl nodded. "Yes!"

Rin's eyes warmed, bringing the dolls to embrace each other. "Never lose that spark, my firefly, but tonight isn't about us, it's about other little kids, right?"

Misa nodded. "Right."

"So, we're going to mind our manners and…?"

Her daughter's cool green eyes rolled, looking so much like Gaara, it sometimes took her breath away. "Not bump into people or yell loud."

"And?"

"Not bring in snakes from outside."

Rin suppressed a shiver at the last event where her daughter presented her with the largest brown snake she'd ever seen. "Bleh, and?"

"Listen to big brother."

"And?"

Misa's brow furled. "And… um…"

The door opened, a familiar voice answering for her. "Remember that Mom and Dad love you, silly."

"Big brother!"

"Correct. Well said, Koji."

She took a moment to marvel at the fine young man her son had become. It took very little convincing of Gaara for her to make the adoption official, though the council, of course, was another matter entirely.

Questions of his lineage and whether he would take the Kazekage seat someday, were argued for weeks, the council splitting in half over it.

Koji had no interest in such things.

All he wanted was to belong to somebody and it was clear, from the first day they met, that somebody was Rin. It had always been Rin.

His interest blossomed into the way of the shinobi, perfecting the tai-jutsu that consumed his days. That discipline bled into every other aspect of his life, including the massive study he took to correct his stammer, which only surfaced when he was nervous or exhausted.

Oddly enough, a part of Rin missed it.

It made him seem more like that little boy she cared for versus the young man he'd become, though she knew he didn't like to be reminded of it.

He came to stand by the bed, holding out his hand to Misa. "Come on, sis, let's let Mom finish getting ready."

She scrambled out of her mother's grasp and took his extended hand. "Do you like my new dress?"

He gave her a slow twirl. "Very nice. Uncle will be pleased you like that one the best."

"He's supposed to ask something tonight. Do you know what it is? No one will tell me."

Koji's eyes flashed to Rin's, who subtly shook her head.

He instead shrugged. "Eh, boring adult stuff. Don't worry about it. Besides, I heard that Ikki and Kazue are going to be at the party. Which would you like to be your escort for the evening?"

This made Misa's eyes light up with a mischief that was dangerous to all who saw it. "Kazzy."

Rin felt sorry for the serious man. He was going to have his hands full tonight.

She stood up off the bed and held her arms out. "Okay, I need a proper hug before you go."

Koji smirked. "'Cause you're nervous, aren't you?"

"Does a mother need an excuse to hug her children?"

"No, but I can tell you are."

He stepped into her embrace, his head just as tall as hers now and Rin sighed. "Well, let's just hope no one else notices."

"You'll be great. No worries."

Misa exclaimed, squeezing her legs. "Go get 'em, Mommy!"

She hugged her children once more and waved as they left, feeling her thoughts buzz in her head at the silence.

Sitting back at the vanity mirror, she finished the last bit of her makeup and focused on her breathing. "Okay, Rin, deep breaths. This is three years' worth of work. All the meetings, the planning, everything has come to this night."

Her eyes drifted to the bedroom table where a stack of drawings had been made for her, each precious, every one valued and kept, with writing that came from small hands. "Thank you, Ms. Rin!"

She looked back in the mirror once more, exhaling a quick breath through her nostrils and nodding her head. "Here we go."

~~~

The sounds of the party drifted up the staircase.

Rin stood around the corner, running her speech through her mind for the hundredth time.

"Lady Kazekage?"

She jumped at the voice of her head guard, who seemed to appear like a faithful shadow and always had the ability to sneak up on her. "Kumi."

"Everything okay?"

Rin nodded. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you ready for me to announce you or do you need a minute?"

She shook her head, smiling at the spunky girl. "No, the sooner this is over with, the sooner I can breathe again."

"Got it. Don't worry, the Houki Clan supports your goal and we've taken over security for the event tonight."

"And you provided that special escort I requested?"

She saluted. "Yes ma'am, they're all accounted for."

"Wonderful as always. I don't know what I'd do without you, my friend."

Kumi lowered her hand, giving the charming smile she was could wield as easily as a sword. "My pleasure. Okay, lets get this show on the road."

Rin took a breath and stepped into the light, right as Kumi declared. "Lords and Ladies, honored guests, presenting Lady Rin, Madam Kazekage."

There was a quiet buzz of applause from a room that was suddenly much smaller than she remembered, the splattering of faces from all different villages painting the crowd in various colors foreign to the Sand.

She saw the whites of the Cloud and the browns of the Stone, she also saw the grey from the Mist and the green from the Leaf, but, more importantly, the bright white of the Kazekage's robe, who was coming to meet her at the top of the staircase.

His cool hand found hers and squeezed softly, as he lifted it to his lips. "Steady, love, steady."

She gave him an elegant nod, though her heart was pounding in her chest. "Let's stop halfway, so everyone can hear me."

"Perfect."

They made their descent, Gaara refined and calm, Rin trying desperately to match his regality, even though all she could focus on was the cold sweat dripping down her back.

When they reached the middle step, Gaara lowered her hand and spoke to the crowd. "Friends, we welcome you and appreciate your presence this evening. This is a matter that has captured the heart of the Sand and, we hope, will touch yours as well. I ask that you give your attention to my wife and hear her words well. Lady Kazekage?"

Rin gave him a smile and cleared her throat. "Thank you, my Lord and welcome again, friends and allies. Our village is blessed by your presence. Some of you know me, though I'm sure all have heard my name at least once on the breeze. I created quite a stir when I first arrived in this village."

Her eyes found the council, who were waiting to the side of the room in their finery. She didn't miss how Kaba smiled, nostalgic at their previous feud.

Rin looked back to the crowd, her eyes brushing over the various faces. "The Sand held a reputation once. Hostile, unwelcoming, fierce as the desert winds and as unforgiving as its sun. I also believed this reputation myself, though, as a member of the Sound, I understand how dangerous believing such rumors can be, before you meet the people behind them."

She noticed the slight tension at the mention of her former village. Though the years had been kind and they were making progress every year towards a better relationship, it would take time still to create unbiased friendship.

"I stand before you, as proof that with love, understanding and kindness, we can erase the sins of the past and work together for a brighter future. If a woman from the Sound, " her eyes found her husband, so proud and regal in his livery, "can be joined with the head of the Sand and their love be celebrated, instead of bound to tradition and protocol, then the rest of the world can learn to love as well."

Rin looked to the left and motioned with her hand at the group waiting in the wings.

All eyes turned to the assembly of at least fifteen children, of various ages, who joined her on the staircase.

Rin dipped down to pick up the smallest of the group, a young girl, who sucked her thumb and rested her head on her shoulder, the hour clearly past her bedtime.

She kissed her forehead and addressed the guests again. "I present to you the heart of the Sand; her children. Through war or famine or tragedy, these precious ones have been left alone in the world, with nothing more than the bare attention of the adults around them. I have it on good authority, that's it's not only the Sand who shares this tradition, but other villages as well."

The guests looked at one another, the shame and embarrassment thick in the room.

Rin gave her best smile. "Please, my Lords and Ladies, understand this is not a lecture to scold the wrongs of the past. This is an opportunity to take part in building our future. We are all shinobi and even in these peaceful times, our lives are filled with danger. That's a truth that no one can escape. What we can do, is protect those left behind."

She hiked the little girl up on her hip and placed her hand on a boy's head. "Look upon the faces gathered here tonight and think of the children in your own village. Those who have lost their families but should never lose the love their people have for them."

Her eyes turned to Koji, who was holding Misa in his arms, smiling up at her.

Rin returned his expression. "I'm proposing a home for orphans that will welcome all villages, all people, from Sand, to Leaf, to Sound. Open doors that will welcome any child who requires a home. These facilities will offer beds, meals, schooling, counseling and, most importantly, the love and care each child requires."

She gave the little girl in her arms to one of the older orphans and raised her arms towards the guests. "So please, join me in showing love to those who need it most. Demonstrate to the next generation the way of the shinobi and how our friendship and our appreciation for each other, will bring a new day, a new dream and a new way of life to our future. Thank you."

The riotous applause startled her. Rin placed a hand over her heart and tried to hold back the cheers at the standing ovation that came after.

She'd hoped they would hear her and consider her dream, but the level of support shook the Grand Hall, though that could have been her own relief and nerves shaking her.

She gently directed the children to go enjoy the banquet and nearly collapsed into her husband's arms, when he rose to meet her.

"Wonderfully done, my desert rose. Perfection."

"Get me off the stairs."

"Got it."

They brushed their way to the floor, Gaara seating Rin in her chair and motioning for someone to bring her some water.

She'd done it. She'd gotten her message out and by the sound of the response and the excited chatter, she'd believed it wouldn't be long before plans and funds would come together to achieve her dream.

A tiny hand found hers. "Are you okay, Mommy?"

She opened her eyes and brushed a hand over her daughter's hair. "Yes, baby."

"Then why are you crying?"

Rin raised her fingers up to her face and indeed found tears there. "Good tears, love, good tears. Mommy is fine. Why don't you go ask Daddy for that dance?"

She nodded and rushed to find her father in the throng of adults, clearly forgetting their past conversation about running in the hall.

Rin leaned back and focused on calming down, her eyes finding Gaara, who was standing on the edge of the dance floor, talking to a man with blonde hair and clear, crystal blue eyes.

"Well, look at you, Lord Kazekage."

Gaara knew that voice anywhere. It was the first truly kind one in his world and he turned to meet it. "Naruto Uzumaki."

"This is quite an event, almost as big as your wedding day."

He looked around at the variety of faces. "Indeed, Rin certainly knows how to fill a room."

Naruto looked past Gaara and gave a polite nod to the Lady Kazekage, who was resting from her speech. "She's something, isn't she?"

Gaara didn't need to look, he felt her presence with him always. "She's the best of my life."

Suddenly, a small voice and a tug on his robe, caught his attention. "Daddy?"

The Kazekage looked down and smiled at the girl, before picking her up to hold in his arms. "Well, Rin and this little one as well. My girls."

Naruto gently pinched her cheek. "That can't be Misa! She's gotten so big!"

"It's me, Mr. Naruto!"

"Have you been practicing that jutsu I showed you?"

Gaara's brow furled. "Which jutsu?"

Naruto laughed. "Don't worry, nothing you wouldn't approve of. I'm just giving your girl a leg up on the rest of her class. And the justu is called?"

Misa put her hands together. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Gaara felt the rush of her chakra, but a second Misa hadn't appeared and he would be lying if he didn't say he was grateful for that. One of her was enough to keep up with most days.

Misa looked down. "I can't do it yet. But I'm practicing! I swear!"

Naruto ruffled up her hair. "I have no doubt. Keep at it and you'll win! Though, maybe, you'll have your dad or mom's jutsu instead? We'll just have to see."

She smiled as bright as the desert sun. "Daddy, will you come dance with me?"

Gaara looked to Naruto. "Well…"

He held up a hand. "Trust me, I wouldn't dream of interrupting. Besides, you can't deny a lady a dance, that's what Iruka Sensei taught me, at least."

Misa let out a giggle and scurried out of his arms, ready to pull him to the dance floor.

Naruto caught Gaara's shoulder before she succeeded. "Hey Gaara?"

"Yes?"

His smile was warm. "You sure found out what love was, didn't you?"

He looked from the tiny girl who held his hand, to the lovely woman who held his heart. "I did indeed. Thank you, my friend."

"I'm glad. I'll catch up with you later."

Misa succeeding in pulling him away, treasuring how he let her stand on his feet to dance together.

A slow dance, but one that would stay in her memories and would resurface again when she was nearly as tall as he, with a white veil covering her head.

The future would come quicker than either parent would be ready for, but the happiness of the journey and two more children to follow, would be worth every step along the way.

~~~

The party raged on into the night, guests leaving happy, full and with the promise of support for the cause.

For months after, there would be plans, meetings and building, but tonight was done.

Tonight was for Rin and Gaara.

Misa passed out in her brother's arms hours prior, happily tucked in her bed.

Kankuro had managed to squeak out his proposal to Ani Choi, who wasn't surprised in the least, but pretended for his sake.

Temari and Shikamaru shared a few dances before retiring for the evening, much to his relief.

The only one left, was Rin on the balcony, breathing deep the scent of the warm night.

The moon hung in the sky; silver and cool, welcoming the creatures who came alive with its light and those who nestled safely beneath it.

Rin let out her held breath. "It's done. I did it."

"Yes, you sure did."

She didn't need to look to know it was him, her body felt him with every beat of her heart. "Gaara."

His arms came around her waist, holding her tight to himself, his chin nestled in the crook of her neck. "I didn't get my dance with you tonight."

Rin laughed. "Well no, our daughter wasn't going to be denied."

Gaara's hands slid down her shoulders, past her elbows and gently took her hand, spinning her around to face him. "May I have this dance?"

"You may, Lord Kazekage."

He assumed the waltz position and slowly swayed her back and forth, admiring how the moon lit up her eyes, which always looked at him with passion and fire and all the things he craved.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, resting on his shoulder.

He shook his head. "How could I have ever deserved this?"

"Deserved what?"

"This love. This warm, incredible love."

Rin kissed his neck, the side of his chin and brushed her lips against his. "Because you loved me first."

He stopped swaying and caressed her face, memorizing the love in her eyes. "Always?"

She rose to meet his waiting kiss.

"Always."

~The end~


End file.
